"Welcome to beautiful Willow Creek, California for the 2013 BigFoot Convention," Jack Jeffries bellowed to his audience. "I'm Jack Jeffries, and you may know me as the leader and founder of Bigfoot International!"
The audience of about 100 people sat facing the stage from which Jack addressed them. Their applause echoed in the Willow Creek Convention Center, which was only big enough to resemble a high school cafeteria.
Jack himself was about 5'11" tall and just a little overweight. His cropped brown hair fell into a gray beard, which looked a little funny below his '80s style mustache. He was only 32, but his hair was only starting to gray, probably due to the stress of his traditional job as a church organist. On his blue T-shirt, the words "Team Bigfoot" were scrawled in chunky black letters.
Next to Jack were standing next to three other people, two men and a very tall, thin woman. All three were wearing t-shirts identical to Jack's. They were clapping softly until Jack motioned that he was going to speak again.
Jack swept his hand dramatically toward his team members.
"Please join me in welcoming my tried and true team members," he shouted, despite the microphone he was holding in his right hand. The audience, didn't care, though. Jack was loud enough to burst an eardrum, but the attendees were just as excited as he was.
"To my immediate right is Chris Weber," Jack's voice quieted to a normal level as he started to describe what each of his team members contributed to the Bigfoot finding efforts.
Chris was the shortest and oldest member of the team even though he was just 42 years old. He was just 5'5", and looked even shorter next to the rest of his team. He, just like Jack, had grayed early and sported a short silvery white hair do that matched his thin, wispy goatee.
Jeff continued, "When Chris isn't teaching Chemistry to 10th graders, he functions as Bigfoot International's Evidence Analyst. He is able to observe the soil and Bigfoot's probable environment and track the probability of Bigfoot's presence."
The crowd clapped quietly, eager for the next introduction. They knew Jack would deliver an exciting announcement after the introduction of his three team members.
"Next to Chris," Jack paused, "is our very own skeptic, Meghan Williams!"
A few members of the audience chuckled and Meghan, with her long blonde hair, rolled her blue-gray eyes behind her black square framed glasses. Her own 6'1" frame shook with laughter, acknowledging her status.
"Meghan, as many of you know, just graduated with her Masters Degree in Biology and is therefore our very own Biologist, able to compare believed Bigfoot physical traits and behavior to other acknowledged, known species!"
Meghan nodded, clearly embarrassed. At 25 years old and having spent most of her life in school, she was not used to being the center of attention anywhere.
She averted looking at the audience by turning to her left toward Eugene, a tall, burly black man with a very friendly face and shoulder length dread locks.
After the applause for Meghan died down, Jack pointed at Eugene.
"To the left of Meghan is the one and only Eugene McWashington!" Jack began.
Eugene was 31 and stood at a towering 6'5". His 382 pound frame would have been intimidating if he weren't so friendly and laid back. Always laughing and always cracking jokes when tensions got high between the team members, Eugene was even friendlier than Jack.
"When not on our expeditions, you can find Eugene catching a wave or two off the coast of Oahu," Jack said. "If you need a lesson, just let him know!"
Jack laughed at his own joke, and eventually most of the audience joined him.
"Eugene is the closest in height on our team to the Yeti, so he is our Bigfoot Stand In as well as our Expert Field Caller. We believe he sounds exactly like Bigfoot, so he's of great use in the field."
The audience once again clapped loudly as Eugene smiled and took a very exaggerated bow.
Next to Eugene was a very large Saint Bernard, who Jack introduced as Abby.
"You can't miss Abby with her two foot long tongue," Jack said. "Abby has the unique talent of human communication. With her heightened sense of smell coupled with her ability to talk, she lets us know when she thinks she sniffs out Bigfoot."
"May I also say, not to embarrass her, please excuse the smell you may notice drifting toward you from up here," he said matter of factly. "Abby is cursed with halitosis!"
"Hey! Speak for yourself," Abby called out in a very high-pitched voice, easily mistaken for a young teenaged girl.
Jack laughed, and as his introductions appeared done, the clapping among audience members roared.
"No, no, no," Jack addressed the audience. "My introductions aren't done."
"What?" you could hear many of the audience members exclaiming.
"The exciting announcement you all are expecting…"
"Yeah!?" one young man in the audience called out, reflecting the anticipation in the rest of the audience.
Jack laughed, "Well, we are here to introduce the fifth and newest member of the team to you all!"
"…Herb?" and he looked to his left, toward the backstage.
A timid 5'8" wiry man with short white hair and thick, black aviator-shaped glasses practically tiptoed onto the stage.
As the man settled next to Eugene, Jack continued.
"This," Jack said into his microphone, "is Dr. Herbert Fisher."
Herbert was 65 years old and clutched a thick, burgundy book entitled "Bigfoot Cast List," which appeared to be authored by him.
"Dr. Fisher joins us to add a more academic element to our team," Jack said. "He has his PhD in Cryptozoology and spends the school year teaching courses at University of Southern California, all the way at the other end of the state.
We are really excited to have him on our team this summer."
Herb nodded toward his audience – surely the convention of Bigfoot enthusiasts were easier to greet than the lectures full of students he was used to.
Jack was definitely done with his introductions, so members of the audience stood up to greet Dr. Fisher with a standing ovation. Jack seemed pleased at the respectfulness and enthusiasm of his audience.
He was relieved the convention attendees seemed excited about the newest addition. It was going to be a different dynamic traveling around to different locations of Bigfoot sightings with five people as opposed to four. He told himself he chose this member very carefully after interviewing many academics.
Jack clapped his hands, even with the microphone in his right, and got ready to address his audience about the next expedition, and Bigfoot International's first as a team of five. It was going to be a very exciting summer.