This is my first fic it's concentrated on Heero and in the end it will be and HY/RP the basic plot's like this, Heero's lost and has no idea where he is. he's alone and as he tries to find out where he is he thinks about things and people he misses, this only part one and there will be a part two if you review this one. If you don't understand, or have comments please email me at GW_Girl17@hotmail.com but only if it's a question or some constructive criticism otherwise don't waist my time!
hope you enjoy this,
The Lone Soldier
Heero walked through the empty battlefield; he had no idea when it had become such a desert, nor when the shooting had stopped, he couldn't remember hearing anyone surrender, for that matter he couldn't remember anything, nothing at all, Just endless slather and death. He couldn't remember how he got here, or why, had Dr. J send him on another mission? Are the other pilots here somewhere? Lost like me, or still fighting, or dead…maybe…no. They weren't dead, not yet…
The sky was clouded and it was twilight, Heero could see the out lines of buildings in the distance, and around him, shadows were everywhere, rubble ranging from cement to cloth lay in his path and beneath that the side walk was hardly visible, here and there Heero could see red stains on the floor and an occasional body here and there, hardly recognizable under the dirt and rubble. He had no idea exactly where he was, the name of the city, or the country, or what colony this was, nor the time, Heero had no watch, and knew that in this city there was no one alive that he could ask, he was alone, possibly stranded on a dead colony in the middle of cold, endless space.
I'm lost. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do, the others might still be around, but without transportation I could spend weeks trying to find them…and wing zero… where are you wing? I'm not even sure it exists any more; it could have been destroyed, or captured. I need to know where I am, and what time this is, I can't remember anything. How did I get here?
Walking some more, keeping a steady pase, Heero looked around in search of a vehicle, a bus, anything, just as long as it moves.
It was getting dark, Heero had been walking for what felt like forever and was beginning to feel cold and tired, looking up he could no longer see the buildings in the distance, and above him the sky was clouded, forgetting his quest for a vehicle Heero found a large pile of rubble and settled down, his head resting on the cold cement as he looked at the sky
Why can't I see the stars? The sky is troubled, if it
rains I'll have something to drink, but I'd much rather see a star, anything to
guide me as to where this is. I've never bothered to look at the stars before,
and now that I should be thinking of escape I look up at the sky and wish to
see a star? Why? I forget that I'm still a soldier, I can't show emotions, I
have no emotions, I've lost my humanity a long time ago. But now, am I a
soldier? There is no Dr. J here to replace me, or give me a new mission, I'm
just a boy now, or a monster, I don't know any more.
With there last thoughts Heero closed his eyes and slipped
into an uneasy sleep…
*Flash*
Heero's eyes snapped open only to look at darkness, endless, lifeless dark, surrounding him, trying to get into him, and swallow him up so that he would never see the light. Heero tried to move, to get away, but his body no longer responded, he was trapped, here where the light of the sun never shines he will spend his life, at some time or other finally forgetting what the outside world looked like, and what it felt like to be under the warming rays of the sun.
How did I get here? And where is here anyway? If this is the dead city, then why can't I see the clouds, even at the earliest hours of day the clouds are still there, but here there is nothing.
Suddenly the cold came,
not wind, Heero would have been glad to feel wind again, but cold, like the
surrounding blanket of darkness had suddenly gone and the cold came to replace
it, biting into Heero's bones, into his heart and all his body, threatening to
over whelm him, like a cold, dark endless wave standing tall above him, the
height of the monster made Heero look like an ant, an insignificant creature,
unable to stop the horrible wave of cold and darkness from hitting full impact
and drowning him.
The cold…where is it coming from? It feels so empty around me, like even the air is gone, but I'm still alive and the cold is still here, or, am I alive/ maybe I'm long dead, and no one has found my body, I'm still alone, just like I've always been.
Sitting or standing didn't
matter anymore, nor did it matter whether Heero's eyes were closed or opened,
and he could no longer feel or see his body, it was as if he was a spirit, with
no body there at all.
I should stop arguing, let go, this is the end, there is no more life for me and I'm not needed, I'm a monster, which deserves to be hunted down and killed, and by the feeling of it I'm already dead. I've caused so much pain, to the people I kill and the people I love, I've destroyed everything and there is nothing left for me, whoever was in my path I hurt and didn't care, the pilots and Relena and everyone. They all could have happiness, they could find a life and a way, but not me, never me I wish I could find happiness, and forgiveness for all the misery I've caused, but I've done too much, and I'm dead now, there is no hope.
Heero no longer cared, and
as he was drifting farther and farther into the endless cold he found himself wishing
for a friend, like Duo,
He never gave up, not once, he always tried his very hardest to save his friends, and always kept trying, no matter what, and when he found defeat he would laugh and try harder, never showing fear. Right now the war is most likely over and Duo is either dead and in heaven or happy at home, I've never thought about how I needed him until now, but now it's too late…I need you, friend.
And the others, Wufei who was proud, no matter what others thought or how much he lost, he would always be proud of being alive and being himself, and Trowa, he never faltered, always there, clam and soothing, and Quatre who shouldn't be at war, every time he was afraid he would stand up and fight for his friends and family, never caring about what he wanted, others always came first, and Relena, I wish I was with her right now, she never gave up hope for peace, and she devoted her life for the people that scorned her, she was always there to protect and stop the fighting, never giving up in what she believed in.
"I'm a monster" Heero
said, his lips felt like ice and he wasn't sure he made a sound, but he heard
something, some voice in answer to his own, "You're a soldier, and soldiers
don't show emotions, never show emotions." The voice was strong and Heero
recognized it quickly, Dr. J, as he pondered what the doctor was doing here,
Heero listen to the cold hard voice talk, not knowing if it was to him the
words were addressed to,"You are a failure, to me and to the mission, and if
you fail one more time, just one, I will replace you. And send you out to the
world, and believe me, the world is far cruller then any training you have had
here, so beware, the mission is why you are here, and if you fail there are
others to take your place." As the last word faded, Heero could hear nothing,
and as hard as he tried, he saw no one out in the cold darkness, and still
staring, Heero pondered why he had failed, what he had done.
Now there is no more, no reason for me to go on, I will be replaced and send away, but I wish I was, then in the world I could have a chance, I could find friendship and a life, I wish I was replaced.
Floating
there, not feeling his body, his mind pondering the words of his trainer, Heero
closed his eyes as there was no point in keeping them open, but by some unknown
force, they snapped open once again and he looked out at the darkness, only it
wasn't darkness they saw.
Heero stared, this was not what he was expecting, god coming down from the heathen to great him, or sateen rising with the red of flame about him to take Heero into the underworld as pay for all the wrong he's done, those Heero expected, but not this, a chamber was In front of him, every corner vaguely familiar, like of some distant dream of a life he once had, although Heero had no memory of ever being in this place, he knew that if he turned the corner down a hall to his left, he'd end up in a study and the door after that would turn out to be the bathroom, suddenly, voices could be heard, coming from the hall, Heero turned his gaze upon the entrance and all thoughts of hiding were erased from his mind.
Down the hall came an old crumpled figure, wearing a white lab coat and what seamed as a space suit underneath, by the figure, walking with very large steps to keep up, walked a small boy, messy brown hair hid perjen blue eyes, sharp in the twilight. Heero froze; looking at the boy was enough to give away who he was. Although the boy was only five or six and still had no name, he had always known the boy as Heero Yuy, agent in training.
As the two continued down the hall Heero looked at the old man, Dr. J seemed younger, if it was possible he seemed different, the same thigh glasses, the mechanical hand now raised in the air, but somehow Heero knew that this Dr. J was not that one he knew.
What, who are they? That boy, I know who he is, but, why? Why here? Why now, when I'm no longer an agent? That boy, that boy is dead, I killed him when I went on my first mission, he's not me, not any more, he has feelings, I can see them in his eyes, he's excited, why do I see these things, these memories of things I've left behind? I don't know this boy; he's not me, and that Dr. J isn't the one I remember, but then I really can't remember, I can't remember that little boy, he's gone now.
Standing there looking at
the small boy, now close enough to touch, the thought of the boy seeing him
came to mind, but he knew it was no use, the cold was still there and his body
didn't seem to be. Just then, the boy looked up and horror spread across his face,
Heero tried to say something, but realized that the boy wasn't looking at him,
but through him, Then, taking a few more steps the boy went through him and
To be continued…