Chapter One

May 21, 1912

Sarah-

"Excuse me; may I have another sheet of paper?" I asked the wireless operator. He stopped his movements and sighed heavily as he lifted his visibly annoyed face to me. He slid the papers toward me and went back to his work without uttering a word.

"Thank you," I said, but he didn't respond, already back to what he was doing before.

I lifted the sheets and cleared my throat,

"Um, excuse me again, but you wouldn't happen to have another pen I could use do you? This one doesn't seem to be working."

The young man, raised his brows and slowly he looked up at me. He plucked a nearby pen off the desk and handed me the pen with a tight smile.

"Is there anything else, ma'am?" he asked with an exaggerated lift of his eyebrow.

Shaking my head and I stepped back and smiled. "No, this will do."

Nodding, I thought I saw him roll his eyes as he went back to his work yet again. I couldn't help but smile, but it soon faded when I looked down at the blank sheets of paper that were in front of me. I carefully wrote George on one and Grandfather on the other.

I never imagined that informing two people that you had married could be so difficult. I had been putting this off for the past five days and knew I was well over due to tell them. I didn't know why I kept putting it off, but last night when Harry had brought the subject up, I couldn't avoid it any longer. He told me he was going to bring me down here today, but I had woken up before him that morning and decided to come by myself.

And so here I was, pen in hand and paper in front of me; everything I needed to write the messages, now all I needed were the words. I drummed the pen against the counter as my mind went rampant with ideas, but just as quickly as they came, I discarded them, none of them being what I wanted.

I wanted to express the happiness that I was feeling over being Harry's wife, but at the same time, I feared that there would be lingering questions from both of them, especially concerning the rapidness of which we had married. However, there was no doubt in my mind that no matter how I explained it to them, other people would wonder as well.

From the little I did know about pregnancy and my ability to count I gathered that the baby would be born sometime in January and even by then we would have only been married for eight months.

And there I was, back at the beginning again; my marriage. I looked down at the paper, but the glittering stones on my left hand suddenly distracted my gaze. I smiled, thinking about the ring and its previous owner, my grandmother. This turned me back to message for my grandfather; somehow, he had known this was going to happen.

With that thought, the veil that my words had been hiding behind opened like a theatre curtain and we revealed to me. I quickly pressed my pen to the paper and began to write;

Grandfather,

Harry and I have married. Thank You.

-Sarah

For the moment, it would do. I would write him a longer letter once we had settled, but for the time being, it gave him the news and also told him how much both Harry and I appreciated his support.

I then turned to paper intended for George's message.

It was only yesterday that I had realized that Harry and I had married the day before George's twenty-second birthday, so the first thing I wrote was a birthday greeting, then I proceeded to write a near copy of what I had said to Grandfather and just like with Grandfather, another, much longer, letter would follow.

I finished my messages and once again got the wireless operators attention,

"Thank you." I said handing him the pieces of paper and pen.

He read them over and tallied the cost for me. I reached into my small handbag and handed him the money and I tip, deciding he deserved one after putting up with me. As I started to walk away, his voice called me back,

"Congratulations." He said with a smile.

I smiled back, "Thank you." Then continued down the hall and out the door to the deck, nearly running into someone when I pushed the door open.

"Oh, dear me, I'm terribly sorry." I said, coming around the other side of the door quickly. A face peered around the back of the door smiling at me,

"Hello there. How kind of you to smash into me this fine morning."

I brought my fingers to my lips to stifle the laughter that wanted to burst out of me,

"I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Lightoller."

"Oh quite all right, I couldn't hold a grudge against you, even if I tried." He brushed off his pants, even though nothing seemed to be on them, and gave me another kind smile, "So, Mrs. Lowe, what are you doing up and about so early?"

I blushed, realizing it was the first time anyone had called me that, "I'm sending wires."

"About your marriage?"

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"And do you think this news will be greeted with open arms?" he asked offering me his arm, which I accepted.

"Yes, I believe it will." I replied as we started to walk.

"Always good to hear. So are you enjoying married life?"

"I am."

"I bet you're glad that we'll be arriving in Liverpool tonight." He turned to me as we walked along the deck, "Do you two have a place to stay when you get there?"

I shook my head, "Harry hasn't mentioned it."

"Well in that case, why don't you two come and stay at my house. There's more than enough room and I know Sylvia wouldn't mind."

I hesitated, "I'm not sure, I don't want to intrude."

"Intrude? Don't be ridiculous, we would love to have you both."

He looked so insistent, that I couldn't say no, but I didn't say yes either, "It sounds wonderful, of course I'll have to ask Harry first."

"Of course," he said opening the door that led back into my corridor. I walked through and he followed, "Why don't we all have lunch together? You can let me know then what you've decided." He suggested as we stopped at the door to Harry's room and mine.

I nodded and gave him a smile, "All right, we'll meet you in the dining room."

He smiled back, "I'll see you then."

I said good-bye and watched him walk back onto the deck before I unlocked the door and went into the room. I set my key and handbag on the desk and was taking off my hat when I heard a groan, followed quickly by a heavy sigh. I peered around the corner and saw that the peaceful Harry who I had left sleeping in the bed was gone and had been replaced by one who was tossing and turning and visibly bothered by the dream he was having.

"I didn't mean it! No….NO!"

I was at his side in an instant,

"Harry." I shook him gently with a soft hand, "Harry, Harry wake up."

At the sound of my voice, Harry's eyes snapped open. His heavy breathing was causing his chest to rise and fall at a quick pace and I looked down at him with worry in my eyes,

"Harry-"I started to say, but he quickly cut me off, seizing me by the arms and pulling himself up into a sitting position. Quickly he embraced me, clutching to me as if I were a life preserver in a turbulent sea. I could do nothing except embrace him back, and placed my hands on his back, feeling the perspiration that had accumulated on his skin during the dream.

"Forgive me." He muttered so softly I could barely hear it.

I pulled away, my eyes full of worry and question, "Forgive you for what?" I asked, pushing the damp hair away that had matted to his forehead.

He took a deep breath and held it in for a long moment before he exhaled allowing me more time to worry.

"Harry, forgive you for what?" I asked again, this time with more persistence.

He shook his head, letting it fall to his lap. He then reached up and brushed his fingers against my middle, pushing the silk fabric of my dress against my stomach where our child grew. I watched as a small smile appeared on his face, but soon faded as he looked back up at me and shook his head, "Nothing."

I sat there dumbfounded as he rose from the bed, slipping his pajama shirt on and heading towards the bathroom. I sprang up from my seat quickly and followed him with my eyes,

"Harry!"

He turned around to face me, knowing exactly what I wanted to hear, "Please," he begged me, shaking his head, "Don't ask me anymore."

"But you-"

He approached me quickly taking my hands into his, "Sarah, you know that I love you…don't you?"

I nodded, "Of course I do."

"Then you know that it would kill me to do anything that would hurt you."

Again, I nodded, wondering silently what could be bothering him so,

He lifted my hands up, pressing them together, and kissed them tenderly, "Then trust that."

With his eyes burning desperately into my own, I found myself agreeing to his request and nodding, silently. He pressed his lips together in a grateful, forced smile and then continued on to the bathroom.

When he emerged a few minutes later, clean-shaven and dressed, he found me sitting on the bed, still wondering what had happened.

I looked up when he entered and was surprised when I saw smile lighting up his face. He bent over to kiss me, acting as if nothing had happened. My first instinct was to push him away but as his pressed, his lips more firmly against my own and cupped my face into hands I couldn't help but forget the reason why I was so upset.

When he stopped the kiss, he stayed close, moving to my cheek and fluttering tiny kisses across it to my ear where he whispered, "You look beautiful today."

I smiled and gently brought my hand up and pushed him back so I could face him, "What happened, Harry? Please tell me."

He didn't seem bothered by my question, and the smile on his face remained, "It was just a dream and I was half awake when you began to question me." He brushed his fingers across the soft skin of my cheek, "Don't worry, I'm fine."

"You just seemed so upset." I countered.

He sighed and sat down on the bed next to me, his arm slipping around my waist, "Is this what I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life? A nagging wife, who worries over the slightest little thing." He teased.

"Would you rather I not care at all?" I asked, turning to him, my voice serious.

He frowned, "It was only a dream, a nightmare. People have them, don't tell me you haven't?"

"I have."

"Then why the worry?"

As he said those words I studied his face, saw his eyes bore no fear, and were shining and bright just like they had been over the past few days. Though there was small lump of suspicion still sitting in my stomach, it was small and I quickly brushed the feeling away. He was right, it was just a nightmare. I had had plenty of them myself and knew there was no cause for alarm.

I smiled, showing him that the thoughts had left me and he smiled back,

"So, all better?"

"Yes." I said and then reassured him with a kiss of my own.

Since we had married, which seemed far longer than just five days, I become more comfortable with showing him affection and I knew that he enjoyed it as much as I did. As our kiss deepened and those familiar feelings began to stir inside of me, another, more annoying feeling followed.

Dizzy, I pulled away from him, placed a hand on my turning stomach,

"Are you okay?"

I took a breath, "I think." I replied and took another breath.

He laughed when I began to relax, "This isn't exactly the way I pictured my honeymoon to be."

I agreed.

"But," he said coming closer to me and gently pushing me back to lie on the bed, his fingers intertwining with my own, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You haven't once wished that I wasn't…" I indicated my stomach and he shook his head,

"No, have you?"

I thought for a moment and then shook my head, "No."

He placed his hand on top of the one that rested on my stomach, "Do you think it was that first time, too?"

"Yes."

"It's hard to imagine that all that time, the iceberg, the sinking, on the Carpathia, the inquiries…Hockley's ignorance…it was there."

I nodded, finding comfort in his words, because I now knew that through that whole mess I wasn't alone.

"It's a pretty resilient baby, wouldn't you say?" he asked and I smiled as I watched him go down and plant a sweet kiss on my middle, "Just like his old man."

I laughed, "His?"

He returned next to me, smiling broadly, "Yes, his. Why do you doubt it?"

I held in my laughter and shook my head, not wanting to get into the discussion I knew we were heading for, "No."

He smiled, "Good."

Harry-

Later on that afternoon, after I had managed to convince Sarah that everything truly was all right and after lunch with Lights where he convinced both Sarah and I to come stay with him when we arrived in Liverpool, Sarah and I came back to our room where she practically collapsed on the bed, immediately falling asleep.

It was something that she did a lot of, and I'm not sure if it was because of the baby or if she had always done it, but every afternoon, like the rise and fall of the tide, she's always took a nap. Sometimes I would lay down with her, but I never slept, I would just watch her. She always slept so soundly. Her face was always so calm and content and with her hair falling in soft wisps across her beautiful eyes and soft lips, she reminded me of an angel.

And at this very moment, that's what I was doing, laying next to my wife in the bed that had quickly become ours over the past few days, watching her dream. Unfortunately, the thoughts that were going through my mind were far from the happy ones that she appeared to have in her dreams. I couldn't seem to get over the one that I had had earlier.

Life over the last five days had been damn near perfect. It seemed my life hadn't really begun until I married her. The passion that we had between us before had nothing on what we now shared. I always wanted her close to me and she seemed to have no objections, if anything I'd say she felt exactly the same way. The morning after our wedding, she snuck up on me while I was shaving and nearly caused me to cut off my left ear. Of course, it all turned to be yet another perfect moment, the second of many perfect moments we had experienced since she became my wife. However, all that came to a screeching halt when I fell asleep last night.

The dream had started fine; Sarah and I walking hand in hand on a beach then out of nowhere, Rose appeared. The truth came flooding out of Rose's mouth and the hurt on Sarah's face stung at me like a thousand bee stings right into my heart. She had yelled, screamed and delivered me a hard slap across the face and then Taylor Hockley appeared, almost in the same way that Rose had. She had taken his hand and they embraced, disappearing into the mist that I found myself standing in. That's when I woke up.

Sarah had naturally been concerned and it killed me to lie to her, but I couldn't find any other option. Thankfully, she had believed me, but that wasn't the last of my worries. We would be arriving in Liverpool in just under five hours and I still hadn't told my parents that I had married.

Sarah knew this, we had discussed it and I told her that I felt it wiser to tell my parents in person and she didn't question it. I didn't lead her onto my apprehension about it though. I tried to remember Lights' words of wisdom that he had given to me only hours before Sarah and I married. He had reminded me that I had never cared what others thought before, but I couldn't ignore the fact that my history with my parents had been rocky, especially with my father.

He had never forgiven me for leaving home at fourteen, so soon after my older brother George had passed, but as I had explained to him so many times before, he had given me no choice. He had practically forced me into an apprenticeship that I wanted nothing to do with even after I had told him that I wasn't going to work for nothing for anyone. If I was going to work I was going to be paid, that was the end of it. He hadn't seen it that way and I left. Of course, that had all been forgiven long ago, but I don't think our relationship had ever really recovered.

I pushed a long strand of hair off Sarah's face as I tried to think optimistically of the reaction that they would have towards her. They had to see how wonderful she was. The reason I had fallen in love with her had to evident to them. She was too beautiful, too kind not to love.

I stroked the soft skin of her face with tips of my fingertips and instinctively leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. The movement roused her from her sleep and she turned over on her back, stretching.

"Hm?" she asked with a sigh, her eyes, not even opening.

I smiled and leaned over farther and kissed her again, this time with more persistence. It took her a moment to realize what I wanted, but when she did her arms immediately wrapped around me and pulling me closer to her body, soul, and into yet another perfect moment.

Be sure to R/R and tell me what you think. I'm still a bit hesitant about doing a Part II so if I did okay let me know LOL. I need all the reassurance I can get : ) : )