When
we last saw Harold, he was caught with his pants down in Mr.
Green's
shop. Upon being banished from that butcher shop for life,
Harold
ran out... naked! Now he's on his way home...
Harold: "Damn!
I can't believe I did that! Now I can never shop there
ever
again! Oh well. At least I got out all of that tweenage sexual
tension I had!"
Harold is now 3 blocks down the street.
As he turns the corner, he
bumps into Lila!
Lila: "EEEEEEK!
HAROLD! WHAT EVER ARE YOU DOING!"
Harold: "Oof! Lila!
Uh.."
Harold's feeling woozy and collapses on Lila. They
both fall to the
ground with Harold on top... aroused!
Lila:
"Harold? Why? Why must you assault me like this?"
Harold:
"It's seriously not what you think! For one thing, I don't
want
you! I have Patty! And... and... Mr. Green was trying to molest
me!"
Lila: "Oh! Then get off of me and go get help!"
Harold and Lila get up.
Harold: "Promise not to tell
anyone?"
Lila: "But Harold, if Mr. Green is hurting
young boys like yourself
then everyone should know!"
Harold: "Ok, that's nice. Look, I've really got to go Lila!
Sorry
about this!"
Lila: "I'm serious about telling
someone! I'm a good though awkward
start. I had no idea that Mr.
Green is a pedo. Yikes!"
Harold: "I'm going! Save your
moralizing garbage for later! I've to
get outta here!"
Lila: "Jesus loves you Harold! Poor Harold.
Harold runs
away. Eventually Lila notices a little mess that Harold
left on
her skirt...
Lila: "Poor, poor Harold. I hope that he finds
help... and clothes.
Hold on... my skirt...he... he... OH MY
GOD!"
Harold is now 2 blocks away from his home! He's
managed to so far get
home with barely anyone noticing him!
Except for Lila. It's probably
also due to the fact that it's a
cold, rainy day out.
Harold: "Phew! My erection's gone! And
my nipples are hard! Damn it's
cold. At least I'm almost home!"
Unfortunately for Harold, Helga and Phoebe are walking down the
street. The two friends are having a nice conversation, when
suddenly
Harold bumps into Helga and falls to the ground!
Harold: "Oof! Hey! What the- HELGA! PHOEBE!"
Helga:
"Oh... my... god!"
Phoebe: "Ew. Naked Harold. He's
so... fat."
Helga: "No kidding! Now we're scarred for
life! Damn, and I always
wanted to see Arnold naked. Not you, fat
ass!"
Harold: "I'm sorry guys! I can explain!"
Phoebe: "Please do!" Helga: "Crimney, you're sick!
Why the fuck are you doing out on a
cold day like this in your
damn birthday suit?"
Harold stands up.
Harold: "I...
was in a nude race! Yah, I'm a nudist! My nudist colony
I just
joined was having a race!"
Helga: "I thought you were
Jewish? You're nudist too? Anyhow, why are
you out here? And how
come we didn't here about this on the news or
anything?"
Harold: "First of all, there's something called privacy! My
family and
my nudist colony don't have to tell you guys anything!
And secondly, I
got lost!"
Helga: "You got lost?"
Harold: "Heh heh! Yeah! You know me! Stupid, fat Harold!"
Brief silence
Helga: "Ok, I'll buy it! However, I want
as little to do with you as
possible! Got it?"
Harold:
"Sure thing Helga! Well, I'm gonna go home now! See ya guys!"
Harold finally runs home.
Helga: "Man, was gross fat
slob. It's scary knowing that he's a...
nudist. Disgusting."
Phoebe: "I'm suspicious though. Something doesn't seem
right."
Helga: "Well no shit Phoebe! We found out that
Harold is a nudist!
Geez!"
2 blocks later, Harold has
finally made it home! His parents aren't
home yet, so he takes a
warm shower and puts on some new clothes.
Harold: "Now I'm
warm and safe! Man, I've just made a major ass of
myself! I
violated Mr. Green's store, blew a load on Lila, and told
Phoebe
and Helga I'm a nudist. And I miss Patty! Oh Patty, why did you
have
to go see your grandparents this weekend!"
Suddenly Harold
hears his parents.
Harold's Mom: "Oh Harold! We're home
honey!"
Harold's Dad: "We can't wait to hear about your
first day on the job!"
Harold exits his room and goes to
see his parents.
Harold: "Hi Mom and Dad!"
The
End...?
The epic saga continues...
