Again, here's another Shizaya one-shot - Izaya's POV.

Although, it's more of a one-sideded Shizaya, still, I guess it's Shizaya.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, this idea just came to me and I typed it.

Oh, and if Izaya seems OOC, sorry.

So, Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara! or it's characters, wish I did cause, you know, that would be awesome

but sadly, I don't, still, enjoy~

Would you care if I was happy?

Would you care if I was sad?

Would you care if I was hurt?

Would you care if I was lonely?

Would you care that I hate to admit that?

Would you care if I didn't have any real friends?

Would you care if I wanted you to be my friend?

Or would you care if I grew sad because I knew that would never happen?

Would you care if I was scared of being human?

Would you care if I was afraid of confronting my true feelings?

Would you care if I tried to commit suicide?

Would you care if it was because of you?

Would you care if after every time we fought I cried in my room, alone for hours on end?

Would you care if I sat in my bath tub and cried the rest of the hours away in the day and into the night?

Would you care if I got sick and never turned up to town for a while?

Would you care if I was in a very weak position?

Would you care if all I thought about while laying in my bed was you?

Would you care if I was hoping you'd come bursting through my door, even if it were come to kill me?

Would you care if I had dreamed of you nursing me back to health?

Would you care if when I woke up the next morning I woke up disappointed it was only a dream that could never happen?

Would you care if I wished you'd care?

Would you care if you were the only person I trust even if you say you kill me?

Would you care if I found some hope in the fact that I haven't died yet, even if you've promised my death so many times?

Would you care that you're the only one who tried to keep their promises with me?

Would you care you're the only one who seems to be able to read me at times?

Would you care that I single you out and therefore you're special, even if you don't know it?

Would you care that my heart feels like it breaks every time you say that you hate me and that you want to kill me?

Would you care if you found out you were the only thing I couldn't understand, the only person I couldn't predict or manipulate?

Would you care that I was quite frustrated by that fact?

Would you care if I hated you?

Would you care if I didn't?

Would you care if I never did?

Would you care if you knew I hated myself?

Would you care if it's all because of you?

And would you care if I said that I love you ?

No, you wouldn't, would you? Or more, you can't because I don't allow you to, I never have and I don't think I trust myself enough to allow you to now , so, I guess it'll just have to stay like this. Stay with us sharing this bond, this bond that holds us together with chains that even you couldn't break. This bond of hate that runs through our lives, anchors down and that will never leave. This bond that could easily change, and yet, I doubt it ever will, in fact, I feel I might be scared that it will because then I'll have nothing to hide behind and this glorious game we have going on will be lost and then, what will we have left?

So, we should stay in this same old pattern and watch as it drains down, sinks and reaches the bottom of the ocean where it'll forever lay, out of reach from everyone except those who dare to swim into those dark, unsearched places. Although, if I think about it, you may just do that, but, like I've known for a while now, eight years, infact, is that I'll never be able to guess what you'll do next because you seem to avoid expectation and you do it all so naturally, as if you don't even have to think about it; I highly doubt you do, think about it, I mean. You're a protozoan, so, you probably don't have the brain capacity needed for thought, and yet, I feel you contradict that with those odd moments of intelligence I seem to witness, even if only in the background and out of sight. It frustrates me; you do, as a whole. I can't seem to wrap my head around you, and that both annoys and intrigues me. You, as a whole being, even if you are a monster, intrigue me and yet irritates me. I can say that I hate you because you're so unlike my precious humans. I can't manipulate you and no matter how hard I try I can't quite seem to get you to do as I want. You mess up all my plans without much thought and I hate that. I hate you, and yet, I don't. I can't bring myself to, I don't know why, but, I have a feeling I don't want to know why, I feel as if the answer will scare me; it'll be something I don't want to hear.

So, you'll never learn of how I feel because I don't trust myself enough with the words and I doubt you'll trust my words either. They have a saying, you know; 'Heartfelt thoughts become lies when spoken'. That fits the situation rather well, if you think about it. So, I guess I'll keep it all to myself; keep the sadness I feel every time you promise to kill me a secret, keep how useless I feel every time you go to someone else to ask for help or to talk to even if we've known each other for much longer. Keep the shame I feel every time I think of you and me, think about confessing, and think about how it would feel to have you hold me, even for only a minute. I'll keep it all from you so that you won't feel sorry or pity when you can't return my feelings because, if there is anything I can't handle aside from your rejection is for you to feel sorry and pity me.

So, please don't care about it, don't care about any of it. I'll be fine with what we have, I'll be happy with these chains of hate tied around us, it's the only thing that joins us to one another, the only thing that keeps me in your life and you in mine, so, I'll try my best to stop it from happening; from keeping you caring, but, then again, you never seem to follow my plans, my expectations, do you?

Reviwes, comments, constructive critisim and anything else would be loved.