Separate Ways

Val's Note: Hi, guys. =) I plan on this to be my first LightxHope fic that's actually going to be longer than two chapters. I already have the second chapter written and I'll be working on the third more tonight. It's also my first post game fic so I'm really excited about that as well. In regards to the title, it was based on Journey's song "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)" which I highly suggest to anyone who hasn't heard it. :)

There's an old saying about time. How "time heals all wounds". Hope Estheim knew that it was nothing but a lie. Because each and every day, the wound in his heart just grew bigger.

"Morning, Dad," Hope said to his father as he ran downstairs and secured the knee guards around his tall leather boots.

"Morning. Are you doing anything in particular today?" his father asked as he sat on the worn out sofa reading a tatter book.

"I had plans on going to see Sazh and Dajh today. Other than that, there were no specific orders other than the usual repair and guidance," Hope informed him while putting his Calvary issued gun in his holster on his hip.

"You'll be home early tonight though, right?" his father asked and Hope could see the age in his face. His frown lines were more defined and his dirty blond hair was streaked with gray. The loss of his wife and the move to Pulse took a lot out of him.

Hope gave the older man a confused look. Why would there be any reason for him to come home early? It was just another day. Another long day for him to endure before tomorrow comes.

"Today's your eighteenth birthday, Hope," his father said, giving his son a disappointed look.

Hope gave him a small, forced laugh. "Oh. So it is. It's good thing that one of us is keeping track. I'll do my best to be home early. See ya tonight!" Hope exclaimed as he quickly made his way out the door and into the reconstructed village of Paddraean Archaeopolis.

A lot had changed in three years thanks to the hard work of those deciding to live in Paddra. The stone ruins were used to build new houses and shelters for the new inhabitants. Hope worked daily to restore what had been lost. It was long and tedious work but it gave Hope a purpose and often took his mind off the past.

They were making a lot of progress though. A school house had been built for the children, electricity was returned to the main shelters where the village often ate together, and bath houses were created so they wouldn't have to bathe outside anymore. Although it was far from the luxurious life on Cocoon, many people were happy living in Paddra.

He walked out of his own stone house and through the streets busy with people working away at repairs and kids laughing in the streets.

"Hope! Hope!" a young girl with blonde hair called out and ran up to him. "Will you play with us today?" she asked, holding out a ball to him. He smiled at the young child and patted her head.

"Lily, right?" he asked and the girl beamed with delight.

"You remembered my name!" she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up.

"Of course I did. I try to remember the names of everyone living here," he said, returning her smile. "I'm sorry but I can't play today," he said and her smile was quickly replaced with a frown.

"Are you working again today?" she asked him, her voice soft and sullen.

"Yes. I'm going to visit Dajh today though. How about I talk to his father about him visiting soon?" Hope asked and the girl nodded enthusiastically.

Because Sazh and Hope both worked in the Calvary, Dajh would oven stay with Hope's father if he wasn't allowed to go with his father on a mission. It worried Sazh at first to be away from his son, but as he became good friends with Hope's father, he knew that Dajh was in good hands.

"I'll see you later, Lily," Hope said and started making his way out of the old cityscape and into the wilderness.

It didn't take Hope very long to reach the top of the Tsubaddran Highlands. The monsters through the Pass of Paddra were pretty well taken care of. The few he did run into were manageable, even without his l'Cie abilities. The only monsters that were giving them trouble were those in the Tsumitran Basin and the Archylte Steepe. Death often took the lives of those who stumbled upon either. Most people stayed in their respective villages unless accompanied by a member for the Calvary or Guardian Corps.

Quite a few people lived on the Tsubaddran Highlands. It was known for its great view of Pulse and the Chocobos that were brought there for transportation and farming assistance. It was also the home of Sazh and Dajh.

Hope walked past multiple wooden cabins and over to a building surrounded by three or so midsized airships. It was the main airport for those needing to visit Paddra and also the place where Hope reported to for orders every few days.

He entered the large building and let the cool air sweep over him. Multipule fans hung from the ceiling so the airport was a popular place for those of Paddra and Tsubaddran to relax and escape the heat for a bit. It was easily the most elaborate building of the two villages and looked almost like a building you'd see on Cocoon. It had large glass windows and was made out of strong metals. Its exterior was painted a bright crimson and its interior had polished wooden floors. Its massive size contrasted severely with the humble cabins surrounding it.

"Hey, Hope!"

"How's it going?"

"You ever gonna get a girl, kid?"

Hope smiled and rolled his eyes. He waved at his fellow men that were lounging in the lobby and continued walking to the main desk. He didn't have the time to talk when he had to be home early.

"Hello, Sergeant Estheim. What can I help you with today?" the receptionist asked behind the desk. Her dark black hair was pulled up in a tight bun and her blue eyes shone brightly at the young man beneath black rimmed glasses.

"Is Captain Katzroy available?" he asked, hoping to see Sazh as soon as possible.

The woman gave a quick nod. "He should be in his office with his son right now. You're free to go back," she said. Hope quickly thanked her and walked past the main desk and down a hallway lined with doors.

It didn't take Hope long to find the familiar wooden door he knew belonged to his friend. He raised his hand and knocked with the back of his knuckles.

"Come in," a familiar voice said and Hope opened the door and stepped into his small office.

"Morning, Sazh," Hope said and took his usual seat in front of the man's worn wooden desk.

"You mean afternoon," he said and waved a hand at his clock that read 2:30 PM. Hope always forgot how long the trip from Paddra to Tsubaddran actually took.

"Yeah. Time sure does fly, doesn't it?" he asked the older man who shook his head.

"Every day feels like an eternity. Can't believe it's already been three whole years…" Sazh remarked, staring at Dajh who was sleeping with his head rested on his chocobo. The chocobo grew to the size of approximately how tall Dajh was when he was six. He still wasn't big enough for the nine year old Dajh to ride, but it would only take another three years or so.

Hope looked around Sazh's bleak office. His desk was worn and the bookshelves around his office had chipping paint. Even the rug Dajh slept on looked tattered and thin. It was hard to believe that this was the office of a captain.

Most of his supplies had come from the remaining supplies that were on Cocoon. Everyday thousands of pounds of material that were salvaged from Cocoon were brought to Pulse. They didn't want to leave any resources behind on the continent that could no longer sustain the population. The factories being built on Pulse were still small and only processed the minimum. Many villages had to produce their own food and build their own shelters.

"I heard about your promotion. Congrats, Sergeant. I know she'd be proud of you," he commented with a gentle smile.

"I know she would be too…" Hope agreed. He sounded anything but pleased. "Have you heard anything about her lately?" he asked, his eyes glinted with a sparkle of hope.

"If I found anything out, you'd be the first to know," Sazh remarked and watched the sparkle fade from his eyes. "I did some asking around though during my last mission. They said that she's still registered with the Guardian Corps, but who knows how old those records are. They're probably just the files they saved from Cocoon."

"Any word from Snow and Serah?" he asked and Sazh shook his head.

"Same ol' same ol'. Snow is busy with the repairs on Oerba and Serah is now teaching kids in the schoolhouse. They're no better off than we are," Sazh informed him and Hope hung his head low.

"It's been far too long…" Hope said and rested his face in his hands. His fingers dug into his hair and gripped it tightly in pain. Hope didn't know how much longer he could take not knowing if she was safe or not. He needed answers.

"Hey, man. You know that I want her to be safe too but maybe it's time you start moving-"

"No!" Hope exclaimed, looking up at Sazh. "She's alive and she's out there somewhere. I can feel it, Sazh. I'm almost ready. I've spent all this time training and I'm finally strong enough to go looking for her myself. I will never move on," he announced and stared the older man down. He knew that Sazh meant well and was only looking out for Hope's wellbeing, but Hope was already lost as it was.

"I'm sorry. It was a bad suggestion. I know you'll never give up. Not when it comes to her, right?" he asked with a sympathetic smile. He stood up from behind his desk and walked over to where Hope sat and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I've lost too much already. I'm not going to give up when there is the chance that she might still be alive somewhere."

Sazh nodded his head. "I understand. I'll be here to support you as much as I can. She was an important person to me too…"

"Is," Hope corrected, not allowing anyone to mention her in the past tense.

"She is an important person to me," Sazh said, redeeming himself with a smile.

Hope looked up at Sazh and smiled at him. Sazh hadn't changed a bit in the last three years. If anything, Hope had never seen the man happier. A safe house, great kid, and lived everyday doing what he loved. Sure, he would never get past the loss of his wife but Dajh made him whole. Hope longed to find the person who would make him whole again, but she had been missing for the past three years.

Hope stood up and looked at Dajh for a second, thankful that he didn't wake the sleeping boy. He walked over to Sazh's door and put his hand on the knob.

"Sorry, but I've got to go. It'll probably be getting dark by the time I get home. I promised my dad I'd be home early," Hope explained.

"Oh? Any reason why?"

Hope smiled. "It's my eighteenth birthday and I completely forgot," he explained with a small, sad laugh.

"Ah. Happy Birthday, Hope," Sazh said, looking at the man in front of him.

"Thanks. Do me a favor and drop by my place this week. The kids want to play with Dajh" Hope said, remembering his promise to Lily, and left the office.

"Dad? Is Hope going to be alright?" Dajh asked Sazh, his young brown eyes full of concern.

Sazh squatted down and patted his son gently on the head.

"I sure do hope so."

Hope walked out of the airport without saying goodbye to anyone else. He stepped out onto the soft grass of the Tsubaddran and walked over to the edge of the cliff that overlooked the Tsumitran. He sat down and looked at the monsters and wilderness below. It reminded him of the first time he came to Pulse with the others. Back then they would be able to take down a Behemoth King with no problem. Hope used to be so much stronger with his magic. Without it, he felt crippled.

He reached his arm around his torso and touched his hard bicep. He was much stronger physically than when he was fourteen. Hours of training for the Calvary did that to a person. He was among some of the strongest soldiers but he still knew that he'd probably never be as strong as Snow. He just didn't have the physique for it.

Hope ran his hand through his thick silver hair and let out a sigh. He has lost his mother, Vanille, Fang, and now her. He lost the one person he thought would always be by his side. His mind wandered back to the last time he saw her and he did his best to choke back the tears. Soldiers didn't cry.

"Have you seen my father? His name is Bartholomew Estheim. I was told that the Calvary was protecting him," the fourteen year old Hope asked a Calvary soldier.

"Oh, that guy. You must be his son. Yeah, we've got him. If you come with me I'll take you to him," the soldier said and Hope's face light up. His father was alright. He was okay. He was alive. "We've got to hurry though. There are other people we need to attend to."

Hope looked back at the others and his eyes locked with hers. She nodded her head and smiled at him, letting him know that it was okay to go with him.

"I'll be back," he informed them and the soldiers started leading him away.

That was the last time he saw her. According to Snow and Serah, she had gone to Oerba with them but left after only three days. She didn't say anything to either of them about leaving. There was no note, no nothing. One night she was there and gone by morning. They suspected that she left to find a way to wake Fang and Vanille, but that was only mere speculation. The reason why she left still remained a mystery.

He stood up and shook his head in an attempt to clear it. He didn't want to think about it. He had to get home to his father before nightfall like he promised. He pulled his gun out of the holster and made his way back to Paddra.

The sun was just starting to set once he arrived at his new home. Most of the village was eating dinner at the main dining hall as it remained one of the few buildings with electricity. He could hear laughter and chatter from all the way at the entrance.

Hope entered his house to find his father sitting in the living room with a cake and a large box in front of him.

"Welcome home, Hope," his father said with a genuine smile.

Hope walked over to the table, looking at the cake and the present in disbelief. It was the first time since they arrived at Pulse that they would be celebrating his birthday. He expected a nicer dinner than usual, sure, but he was surprised to find that his father went all the way to make him a cake and buy him a present.

"Dad…you didn't have to do this for me," he said, knowing completely well that his father couldn't afford to buy him a present. The large majority of people didn't have money due to the shared nature of their new life. All their necessities were shared. Hope couldn't even begin to imagine what was in that box.

"It's your eighteenth birthday. Of course I had to. You're officially a man now," his father said, taking a match and lighting the candles on his cake. "Make sure to wish for something good. This is the most important wish," he said and pushed the cake over to Hope.

Hope sat cross-legged on their cold stone floor and sat in front of the cake. He once told his mom that wishes were for kids when he was fourteen. He now believed that they were worth a shot.

He closed his eyes and the only thing he could see was her. He could see her sweet smile that she reserved for him and her beautiful blue eyes. He could feel her presence with him.

"Happy Birthday, Hope,"she whispered to him.

He closed his eyes, wished with all his heart that he would see her once more, and blew out the candles.

Please…please come true. This is my only wish.

His father went around their living room and lighting candles and lit their fireplace. He opened the door to let some fresh air as the fireplace often made the living room uncomfortably hot. He sat down on the sofa and slid the large box over to Hope.

"Go ahead and open it," he said, coaching his son who couldn't stop staring at the box in front of him.

Hope took the box in his hands and lifted the lid. His eyes widened as the content of the box was revealed to him.

"No way," he whispered as he picked up a sleek black gunblade from out of the box. "How did you get this?" he asked his father, looking up at him in disbelief.

Bartholomew laughed. "It was actually awarded to you upon your promotion. Your superiors felt that it would make an appropriate birthday present though and asked me to give it to you instead. Happy birthday, son," he said and walked around the table to give him a fatherly hug. "You're going to need that when you leave," he said and Hope pulled away from his embrace.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're going to go looking for her soon, aren't you?" he asked and Hope's eyes grew in shock.

"How did you know?" he asked, looking down at the cold gunblade in his hands.

"She's the whole reason you joined the Calvary, right? I've been waiting for the day when you leave to go look for her yourself. Please, don't let me hold you back. I'll be fine here. Just promise me you'll come back safely," his father pleaded, his eyes looking sad and tired.

"I'm sorry I have to leave you again, Dad," he apologized. He truly felt guilty about having to leave him alone. Despite his guilt, he knew that this was something he had to do. He promised to protect her and sitting around at home while she was alone was not doing what he promised.

"It's alright. You're doing it for the woman you love, after all," Bartholomew said and placed a hand on Hope's shoulder.

"Right," Hope said with a large smile on his face. "I'll make sure to find her and bring her back."

"I'm proud of you," his father said and released his grip on Hope's shoulder. "I'm going to go to sleep now. Make sure you take the holster for you gunblade out of the box too. It'll come in handy. Night, Hope."

"Night, Dad."

His father departed up the stairs and Hope took the holster out of the box. He slung it across his back and went outside. He walked past the reconstructed buildings and found the ruins they hadn't reached yet. He sat down and leaned against a crumbling white pillar. He pulled the gunblade out the holster and opened the blade. He couldn't believe how light it felt in his hands.

"I guess it's not too heavy for me now, is it, Light?" he asked, recalling a distant memory. Hope looked up towards the night sky. "I know you're out there somewhere. I promise that I'll find you and bring you home."

With a promise made, Hope went home to rest before he set off to find his Light.

AN: Long chapter is long. I'm hoping you guys enjoyed it and it didn't seem too far-fetched. I read through it a few times and my beta did too but we both tend to miss things. I pray there weren't too many mistakes, as always. This story is loosely based on what happens in Final Fantasy XIII -Episode i- as well. Only this is what would happen if they hired me to write it, which they obviously didn't.

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Feel free to review with any comments. You guys have no idea how much I enjoy reading them. :)