John peered from the rubble of destruction. A side of Dave he'd never seen feel on his eyes. He whipped around quickly trying to hide once more. 'Dave probably wants to be alone' he blushed at the thought. 'I thought he was to cool for this'
'This is so uncool, why am i so uncool...' he whispered breathlessly to himself. Glancing around once more he inhaled deeply and yelled "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" at the top of his lungs, and sunk to his knees. Why would anybody be here anyways? He was alone. He was always alone. Even if he was talking to Rose, Jade, or even John...he was still alone. Shoving his shades in his pocket tenderly - they were a present from john, he had to be careful with those- he put his face in his hands. "fuck my life." he said to himself rather quietly.
John could tell Dave thought he was alone. He felt like a pervading parasite and cursed himself for being here. On the other hand, he wish he could run from where he hid and make Dave feel better about everything. He could tell Dave that everything was fine. And that Dave was loved. And shouldn't feel alone.
Dave was crying. He hated it. He was crying, he knew it and it made him so mad and sick with himself. He didn't know if he could take this anymore. Everything was beginning to be too much. Another sob choked its way up his throat, and he tried to repress it, resulting in a weird gasp. He was sick of everything.
'He can't be. There's no way..please...he can't be crying..' this thought raced in John's mind. 'I can't take this anymore. Just a little bit more of this and I'll have to run over there. Don't cry Strider. Please don't cry.' Those last two sentences he whispered lightly to himself. Hoping Dave didn't hear a word.
Oh man was he crying. SO much crying. The tears. All over his face. Dave's face scrunched all up as he tried to stop, but to no avail. Shakily standing up, he was breathing hard, and the tears were streaking their way down his bright, red shirt leaving darker red spots where the fabric had absorbed them. "S-shit..." he said and coughed a bit.
That's it. This was no longer an attempt to comfort Dave. John needed to do this for himself. Tears began to well in John's eyes too. He slowly pulled himself up and then began trotting to Strider picking up pace with every step. He coiled his arms around Dave, hugging him from behind. Probably knocking him off balance and taking him by surprise.
What. What. What. What. What. What. What. Whaat.
Dave's mind was blank all he could comprehend was he was falling backwards and something really warm was all up on his back.
what.
someone was there someone...SAW him.
This caused him to let out another sob this time out of embarrassment.
"I still think you're cool." John whispered in a shaky voice directed in Dave's ear followed by John tightening his grip on Strider as they both fell, hitting the ground. "I'm such a clutz" John chuckled under his breath. He looked down, trying to avoid Strider's gorgeous, watery eyes.
Dave's eyes widened to like, the size of saucers. "Eg...bert...?" he said, scared. "You...hold long were you here. W-what did you see? Shit..." he said in a wavering voice. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and down onto the dirt beneath them. Squeezing his eyes shut he covered his eyes with his hands. "Why are you here."
"I could ask you that same question." John hated the thought of Dave being like this. "Dave... I hate seeing you like this" John said carefully trying to avoid pointing out Dave was crying.
With his eyes covered, he tried to put his poker face back on, even though his bottom lips was quivering. "Like what? I'm totally fine. Everything is just so chill here." he said pulling out his verbal irony. Egbert was the last person he wanted to see him like this...but also..the only person he thinks he COULD let see him like this. It was all so strange and infuriating.
Prying Dave hands from his face John attempted to look into Dave's eyes. "Better me than some girl you're trying to impress seeing you cry right?" John chuckled insensitively despatately trying to lighten the load of the heavy moment they were both so engrossed in.
Dave's eyes were red. Not just, the color red like his irises that burned like a thousand suns, but the underneaths were puffy from crying kind of red. Dave smirked a very, very wobbly smirk. "yeah, i guess your right Egbert..." he said, regaining his composure somewhat. He felt like a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode, but he didn't want John to worry. At all."Wouldn't want some super hot chick seeing me like this." he said in a sarcastic tone.
John realized his face was covered in tears. His own tears. Out of utter surprise John rubbed violently at his cheeks trying to get rid of the evidence he was crying. After failing miserably he looked to Dave. As cool and as perfect as ever. He wished he could be like that...
Dave smiled a little bit. He reached his hand up and brushed the tears of John's face. "Why are you crying silly?" he said, with a shudder in the middle. "Egbert..." he said, and then the waterworks started back up again. "E-E...Egbert..." he tried to spit it out.
His nose was running. His voice was cracking. His face was red and ugly. He felt so ugly and uncool. He began to try to cover his face again.
"I-I'm sorry.." John laughed. "I'm so pathetic." John pressed his nose against Dave's "Stop with that, okay? D-don't cry. I can't stand seeing you cry. Please?"
Dave could only answer with a whimper. He nuzzled up against the warmthness that is john. "Y..You...aren't pathetic..." he choked out. "Look...at me...i'm the one...sobbing..." he said while, well, sobbing. "I'm s-sorry..." he said while basically hyperventilating between each word. Dave resembles a baby. Crying and helpless.
"Dave...you're killing me here...what can I do to get you to stop?" John's eyes shaking warmly with concern. "Why...why are you like this?" John trying relentlessly to keep calm and composed, but unbenounced to him probably failing miserably. Disregarding his own pain completely any emotional and all physical pain, all mentally assassinated thoughts from his shrewd naive mind. All for Dave. All because he cared. He just wanted Dave to realize that. But John couldn't fester the courage nor conjure the words to speak such a thing.. maybe it was that simple. 'I care' was that really all he had to say? Maybe. But he still couldn't.
Gasping for air, Dave clutched at his chest. It hurt. Ithurtithurtithurt. He felt like the world was crushing down on him. He just. It felt hard to breathe. He wanted to stop. He wanted...he didn't want to do this anymore. He didn't want to to ANYTHING anymore. Why was he living? He was so useless. He could never live up to his brother. He could never be a hero. John is a hero. Bro was a hero. He is not. Rubbing his eyes more, he felt his hand move as if on its own accord and clutch John's shirt tightly.
Paralyzed in his own flesh by Dave's action John looked down to him. John's eyes (and body) became fluid once more. John traced Dave's slender hand with his emaciated fingers. He knew Strider was going into a sort of athazagorophobic shock. John steadily brought himself to his knees resting Dave's head on his lap tenderly. John felt weak. His eyelids felt like lead. He felt like he was dragging the world down with the weight of himself. He couldn't do anything as simple as help his closest friend. "You should cry more often." John said wearing a half hearted smile "Then it doesn't hurt as much, or feel as bad. Because its all familiar to you" he took Dave's quivering hand and hovered it above his erractic, off beat, heart rate. "There's something wrong will me Dave. And I don't know what" he snickered. He let his heavy eyelid's clasp. His shaky irises fluttering like dust littering a high speed wind behind closed lids. This world, it would surely drive them insane.
With shuddering breaths and his body shaking he felt himself relax. "..Eg...no...John..." he said softly, with shallow breathing. "John...everything...feels...different..." he said, with what seems to be pain coming out with every syllable spoken. "John...I...I-I...John I'm scared..." he finally got out as his eyes opened wide. "John...J-JOHN..." he yelled before starting to violently cough and gag.
Before John could say anything, do anything his heart seized. The destroyed ruins of the world pulsated and swirled in his timid eyes. Everything he'd been supressing, anything he kept inside all the neglect began, forcing the manifestation of itself through John's unsuspecting self every muscle tensed, his blood pressure sky rocketing, his heart swiftly picking up pace, his arteries unable to get oxygen to his heart, his heart unable to get oxygen to his brain thus resulting in everything being blurred and faded. His face had lost all color and his palms became sweaty. His body like a rock, but faster and harder than that just fell. Limply, lifelessly to the packed dirt below him. "Damnit" he cursed under his breath "Not now. I can't. I don't want to." His pupils began fluctuating "I can let this happen now. FUCK. I-" Johns eyes welled with tears and his body overwhelmed with adrenaline. "I'm sorry Dave. I'm pathetic." John murmured, his eyes lightly shut "I can't even live. Not even for the things I care about. I'm sorry. I can't help anyone. I've failed you. All of you. I'm sorry for this, I'm sorry for everything I'm sorry for loving you." John began choking on his words. Then he just laughed. Lied there and laughed.
"John...John are you okay?" he sputtered in between coughs. "John, dont die on me." he said, in a scared voice even though that is what he is doing to john at the moment. "I-I...John, h...how...can...i help you?" he struggled to say. He lifted up a shaky hand to John's face. "shhh, John...are you okay?...j...john?..." he felt the world getting dark. He felt everything getting dark. Everything but John. John was his source of light. His reason for living. Without John, who knows where the hell he'd be. He needed John. No matter how selfish it was for him to think this, he needed John. In this moment, when he was sure these moments where definitely his last, he needed John to be there to smile and say farewell as he left this world. Dave Strider was dying. And all he wanted was to leave the world and have the last thing he looked at be John's healthy smiling face.
The words that echoed throughout John's ears were garbled and incomprehensible. With his eyes closed John allowed his timid hand to make his way to Dave's. Unable to properly hold it he kinda just rested his on top of Dave's. "Dave. Don't die." John said serious and composed "Never. You can't die. Don't you ever die." His words Sharp and highlighted only slightly with a fit of shakeyness. "You can't. YOU CAN'T DIE. PLEASE. NEVER DIE" John began screaming to himself crying uncontrollably "I couldn't stand the thought.. everyone would miss you..." His mentality shifted "You have to promise me you'll never die." A sudden urgency crept to his voice. Johns heart beat a septillion times a second and only racing faster. He was amazed with himself that he could still speak so clearly, even though he was sure even if he absoluty must, he couldn't move. "I can't stop crying. I'm such a mess. I don't want to die now. I haven't done anything comendable I can't do anything right. I've really messed up big time now haven't I. I've lost it. All of it. I..." It's becoming much to tiring to speak. He was sure he had really lost all of it. Everything he loved, his sanity, and now his own life fluttering by his prying eyes with attempts made to keep it to no avail. This was the end of his everything. But he didn't want to lose it all. He needed Dave, he needed himself. That's all. And he could be happy. But no. With the card you were delt, this world was taking everything away. You couldn't let Dave go too. You couldn't.
"J..john..." he started to say and then choked out a coarse laugh. "John, you got it all wrong. No one would miss me...you are the one everyone likes. Everyone likes you, well, almost everyone. I'm just that insufferable prick who fucks things up all the time..." he confessed with tears rolling down his cheeks once more. "If I could give whatever little of my life force i have left to you, i fucking would. Because i fucking love you, John fucking Egbert." Cautiously, oh so cautiously, he clutched john's hand in his own and squeezed. He closed his eyes and concentrated. Fuck, he didn't know what he was doing. Tranferring life force perhaps? Probably not. what the fuck was that anyway. He just wanted John to live. With everything in his soul he wanted John to live. If John could be okay, then he'd be okay with whatever happened to him. Just please. John needed to be okay. If he could just...muster up enough strength..to...to...use...his...godtier...time...john...save...