Chapter 1: Finding Dorm #211
Faramir and Boromir were smashed right next to each other in their father, Denethor's, 1954 Ford pick-up truck. When the truck staggered to a stop Faramir opened the door just as Boromir was about to shove him into the window. As a result Faramir fell to the ground, face down.
"Owww!" Faramir groaned, "Would you stop doing that?" Boromir's favorite pastime was beating Faramir up.
"No, you child, suck it up," was Boromir's reply.
Denethor stalked over and said to Boromir, "I'm so proud of you son, learning how to fend for yourself and all." He looked down at Faramir, "Who's the freak on the ground?"
Faramir jumped up, brushing dirt of his shirt, "For the millionth time, I'm your son, Faramir."
"Oh yes, now I remember," he paused, "its Fabio right?"
Faramir smacked his forehead with his palm. "Yeah, Fabio," he grumbled, realizing it was useless to try to correct him… again.
Boromir of course thought this was hilarious. "Here, Fabio," he said mockingly as he piled his entire luggage onto Faramir.
"Well, Boromir, this is it. I won't see you again until Wednesday," Denethor said, as he put his hand on Boromir's shoulder.
"Wednesday? Dad, Christmas break is still months away," Boromir informed him.
"I know!" Denethor said, speaking quickly out of excitement, "I'm going to be teaching here!"
"This is going to be a nightmare!" Faramir whined.
"Dad, no offense, but you don't know anything, so what are you going to teach?" Boromir asked, as nicely as humanly possible.
"Gym class!"
Now it was Boromir's turn to smack his forehead with his palm. He loved his dad and all, but he didn't know if he could stand being publicly humiliated by him every other day. "But…"
"No buts," Denethor cut him off, "Bye Boromir, my favorite son, I'll see you on Wednesday! Bye Freddie!" He ducked into his truck and sped away.
Legalos skipped over to the administration building, completely oblivious to the strange looks he was getting. So far his first day at Middle Earth High School was going great! He already had made a friend, a caterpillar named Bob. Now he was going to find out which dorm he was in. I hope there are other elves in my dorm, he thought.
Gimli stopped dead in his tracks. Is that an elf!?! he thought to himself. "No," he said to no one in particular, "this school would never stoop to such a low standard." He kept on walking but couldn't push the possibility of an elf enrolling in this school out of his mind. "No, that would never happen! My eyes simply must be deceiving me!" he answered his silent questions aloud, "And I really must stop answering my own questions." He walked into the administration building, and was looking at the papers tacked up on the bulletin board, searching for his name. Finally, he found it; he was in dorm 211, room #138. "YES!" Gimli yelled, earning a few evil glances from teachers. He was so excited; Dorm 211 was right in the middle of the campus and had the biggest rooms. Gimli walked off toward the dorm as fast as his little legs could carry him.
Frodo and Sam were walking along, looking for dorm 211. Frodo stopped, "Sam, where are we?"
Sam looked at his map, "Um… I think somewhere in between the Gondor lecture hall and the Lothlorien Café."
"Oh, right," Frodo said sarcastically, "So if we head in a general southwest direction for say… oh… 189 paces that should put us directly in front of dorm 211. He rolled his eyes and walked away from Sam.
"Noooo! Wait! Gandalf said I was never to leave you!" cried Sam.
"Yeah, and look where that got him," Frodo countered, "he's dead."