***Scene One***
(DAN'S APARTMENT set is assembled. DAN is sitting at his desk with papers scattered everywhere, and he's tapping keys on a phone pad.)
DAN: Yes, hello, Mr. Olav? Yes, uh, hi. This is(clears throat) Dan Foogelbong, play writer. I just…(pause)What's that? Oh, Foogelbong. As I was saying…no…no, it's foogelbong. F-O-O-G-E-L-B-O-N-G…Foogelbong. (pause)NO, sir(getting adgitated)okay, let me make it simple. Repeat after me: FOO GULL BONG…yes, bong, like a gong, you know, BONG!!! Okay, now that that's settled, I…hello?(tapping buttons) Hello?
(DAN hangs up, and picks up phone again, and dials number)
DAN: Mr. Olav? This is Dan Foogelbong? I…hello?
(hangs up yet again, and dials again)
DAN: PLEASE PRODUCE MY PLAY!!!
(takes phone away from ear, and looks at it. DAN hangs it up, and started banging head in hands. Phone rings.)
(DAN PICKS UP PHONE WEARILY)
DAN: Hello? Okay, who is thi…OH!!! OH my!!! Uh, Mr. Grffite? Mr. Ken Griffite???(clears throat, and sounds poised, but acts like he's going to have a nervous breakdown)
DAN: Yes, sir, I'd love for you to produce my play. You say it's what? OH, yes sir, quite extraordinary, if I do say so myself…what? Yes, I guess I do say so myself. Meet you????!!! Ken…I mean, Mr. Griffite..uh, yeah, sure 2:00. Yup. Okey-dokey…I mean, yes. Okay. Fine. Good day sir."
(HANGS UP, climbs on desk, and Jumps off)
DAN: YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO!!! OH YEAH!!!
(Blackout. Change set for Scene two into KEN'S OFFICE)
(KEN is pacing room, and DAN knocks.)
KEN: Why hello, Mr. Foogelbong!
DAN: Yep, that's me!!! I'M DAN FOOGELBONG!!! HAHA!!!(laughing like a lunatic)
KEN: Well, yes, I hope you'd be. Ken Griffite. Pleased to meet you.
DAN(giddy): Yes, sir, please ta meet ya!!! I'm Dan Foogelbong.
KEN: Yes, I'm sure you are.
DAN: YEAH!!
KEN: Okay, well, about the play now…I think it's…marvelous. When did you write it?
DAN(reaches under arm for portfolio): Um…I dunno…sometime, I guess.
(KEN nods.)
KEN: Well, I was thinking, to produce it, we'll start a company together. You know, "Griffite and Foogelbong."
DAN(giddier): Yep, sure, I like it! Or, "Griffite and Foogelbong…and associates!
KEN: Even better!!! We'll be a smash hit!!!
DAN: And we'll get a great secretary, and a choreographer, and…and a pony!!!
KEN: Pony?
DAN: Yeah, for a mascot…never mind, it's great!!!
KEN: Okay, Griffite and Foogelbong…
DAN: And associates…
KEN: It is!!! And I have the perfect person for the job of secretary. Luckily, I put a call through before you got here, and she's in the other room…already hired!!!
DAN: What's her name?
Ken: Nyang Choo.
DAN: Bless you.
KEN: NO!!! That's her name!!!
DAN: Oh.
KEN: Well, okay then! Nyang!!!
(NYANG hurries in with notepad)
NYANG: Heeloo, Misduh Foogabong.
DAN: Foogelbong.
NYANG: I sorry, Misduh Foogabong. I Nyang Choo.
DAN: Bless you…I mean, good to meet you!
NYANG: YEAH!! Gooduh!!!
KEN: Well, welcome to Griffite and Foogelbong and Associates, Nyang.
NYANG: Yesuh, Misduh Griffite. And associates!!!
DAN: We're gonna be a hit!!!
(Cue for song GONNA MAKE IT BIG with KEN, DAN, and NYANG)
(AFTER SONG, BLACKOUT.)