Merry Christmas Guys!
This story is very important to me. My christmas is very similar to the one Helga is about to experience, and this writing process has been very helpful and helped me to even remember what Christmas is about. I hope you guys get the same message that i tried to put into this story. :)
R&R and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: Not mine, all Craig's. Also, we all know i don't own Skype either. though i do frequently use it! ;)
xoxo
Polkahotness
p.s- also, check out the song, "Pas De Deux" from The Nutcracker Ballet for the last few paragraphs :) you'll get the hint guys ;)
I'd never hated my dad. While Bob never really seemed to care all that much about me except in his brief moments of "I want to feel like a good dad," I still knew that he cared... well... ENOUGH.
Until he gave up on us.
Or rather, he gave up on Miriam.
Olga tried. Olga begged and screamed and yelled and cried (man, did she CRY) for him to stay and look passed all that had happened between them throughout the years, even HER act couldn't keep them together.
All of this only made Miriam drink more. Every night of my senior year I'd watch her down drink after drink trying to numb the pain after all she had put up with for him. And as I watched, I knew that no matter how many times I held my temper, or how many times I would try to talk to her or do nice things for her or even HUG her, she was about as responsive as a vegetable sitting on my plate every night for dinner that I made myself.
With Olga married and off in some foreign country that only spoke some weird language I'd never heard before, I was left to try and pick up the pieces that Bob had set flame to as I watched my already broken family, finally fall entirely apart.
That December after graduating, things really started to move. When Bob first started all of this crap, I had decided to take a year off of school and stay at home to make sure Miriam didn't drink herself into a coma. At least with supervision, she was less likely to do so.
There wasn't much left for me in Hillwood, though.
Everyone else from our 'gang' with the exception of Sid, Harold, Brainy and Curly, had disappeared off to the colleges of their choices in what seemed like a blink of an eye. Some of them had stayed in contact. Pheebs was the main one of course. We tried to skype together and text each other every day which kept the lines open between us, and was much needed with everything going on at home. Her and Gerald ended up going to the same school, and had finally become an item within the first few weeks of the first semester in college. Sheena and Eugene were off at some nice Musical Theatre college where Eugene (with Sheena's support) finally popped on out of his closet to confirm all of our elementary school rumors. Nadine went to some school in the Midwest for Science, heavy on Entomology and Rhonda her trusty leader had disappeared somewhere for fashion, though I wasn't too interested to where Princess and her family afforded to send her. Lila ran off for psychology somewhere which truthfully DIDN'T surprise me, and Stinky went to live with some of his Uncles and Aunts at their ranch. He had become very interested in the horse breading thing our Junior year. Which only really left HIM: Arnold.
Surprisingly, the beautiful angel he was, he tried to talk to me. However, the stupid fool I was pushed him away as usual and we hadn't talked since about a month after he left for his own college. He had talked about how unsure he was on what he wanted to pursue, and I knew how that felt. I knew what I WANTED to be, but getting there, was about as easy as getting a hippopotamus to grow wings, lose weight and fly among the birds.
Phoebe said he was in Seattle and I was happy for him.
Well, sorta.
I sat on the curb outside my house with my head in my hands. A gloomy December 12th day looked down on me and I couldn't find it in myself to go back inside in search for a jacket or gloves.
For what, I wasn't entirely sure considering we hadn't had any snow since last year. This Christmas was bound to be a disaster what with Bob gone, and Olga too far away and HAPPY to come home to whatever you called Miriam passed out on the couch and me eating frozen pizza and watching pay per view until I fell asleep at 2am. Feel free to add on the fact that it didn't even LOOK like Christmas in the outside world.
So basically, nothing that resembled any normal person's idea of "Christmas."
I figured since Phoebe was coming home tomorrow, I could get out all my moping and bad moods today before I sucked it all up and met with my best friend who was having the year of her life with Geraldo.
Lucky for me, the moping would have to wait.
"Helga? What are you doing out here?"
I looked up from the ground to see her looking down at me with a wide grin.
"Phoebe?"
She nodded her head, smile still in tact.
"Yes, Helga?"
"Phoebe! Pheebs!" I jumped up from the cement and practically tackled the poor girl to the ground. "I thought you were comin' home tomorrow!"
"Well, I was, but Gerald said he wanted to spend a little more time with Arnold so we decided to leave last night instead of tonight."
My smile drooped slightly.
Arnold. Arnold was here already? And I hadn't run into him yet?
"Oh...uh... well great Phoebe. I'm... I'm glad you're here."
"Something wrong?"
"Wh-Why would there be something wrong? I'm fine. Top of the charts. Peachy really. Wh-Wh-Why do you ask?"
She shrugged and simply hugged me once again.
"It's so nice to see you, Helga."
I bit my lip for a moment, Arnold's face popping up behind my eyelids as I swallowed the growing lump in the pit of my throat.
"It's nice to see you too, Pheebs..."
"I'm so sorry, Helga."
"It's fine."
"Oh but Helga, it just isn't. Not at all. I shouldn't be abandoning my baby sister during such a time as testing as this."
"Olga. It's fine. Really."
"Oh Helga, are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm sure."
"I sent something for you in the mail." I could hear her smile through the receiver and I adjusted on my mattress to lay on my left side and stare at where the wall met the ceiling.
"Really?" I said with mock interest.
I knew what it would be.
What it always was.
"You'll never guess what it is."
I yawned quietly.
Another journal.
"I bet I won't, Olga."
I had to hand it to her, she had at least always put a little effort into the whole 'gift giving' thing. The only issue with giving me a journal every year, was that I didn't quite fill up a whole one every year. Some years I had, but I hadn't found time to write since middle of senior year last year.
"I'd better go, Helga. Vince is asking for my help in the kitchen. Silly man..."
I smirked slightly.
"I'll talk to you later, Olga."
"Love you baby sister."
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"You too."
Our house didn't look very Christmasy compared to Phoebe's. Her house was so decked out, I didn't even know what to look at that wouldn't burn my eyes with colors.
"So what do you think, Helga?" Her mom asked me.
"It's... bright." I managed.
Luckily for me (and my eyes), Phoebe's room still contained that aura of normalcy that I so craved nowadays. Though slightly empty and too clean for my liking, it was still the same room I had grown up sleeping in during sleepovers and other such elementary fun memories.
"Have you gone Christmas shopping yet, Helga?" Phoebe asked me as she sat on her mattress with an interested expression on her face.
I shrugged and popped a squat on the floor resting my back against the wall.
"Nah."
"Why not?"
cocking my eyebrow, I looked in her direction.
"I could either illegally buy booze for Miriam, send a 'Please bring your pathetic ass home' card to Bob, tell Olga JUST how bad it is here at home, OR I could simply pretend Christmas isn't a real thing this year and continue on with my life as if nothing were wrong."
"Helga..."
"I'm serious, Pheebs. There just isn't going to be a Christmas for me this year."
"You're always welcome to spend Christmas here. We consider you a part of the family, after all."
"Thanks." I offered a smile and quickly tried to segway our current conversation. "So how's life with Geraldo? Still entertained by that hair of his?"
A light rouge hit her cheeks.
"Things are great, Helga. I couldn't be any happier."
"So you gonna spill the juicy details or what?"
"Helga!"
"Oh C'MON..."
"What Gerald and I... do... I'm afraid... I am not going to go into detail on."
I rolled my eyes and smirked.
"Sure, Pheebs. At least one of us has a love life going on, right?"
It was Phoebe's turn to roll her eyes around in her head.
"We both know very well that you too could have a boyfriend if you put forth a bit of effort."
"You're joking, right?"
"I am most certainly not joking, Helga. We both know that you pushed Arnold away when he tried to talk to you once he went away for college. And we also know that once you see him during holiday break, you will continue to push him away."
"Will not."
"Helga..."
"What? I won't. I'll just treat him the same way I always have. And who says I'll even SEE the kid? I'm sure he brought his girlfriend here to show off to the boarders."
"He doesn't have a girlfriend."
"How do you know that?"
"Despite not being particularly close to Arnold, I am rather close to Gerald who has told me one or two things about him."
"Like?"
She shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"Until you work on being yourself around him, I'm not telling you."
"Since when did YOU figure out ultimatums?"
"There is a lot more to learn in college than just facts and figures, Helga."
"Okay, smarty pants, so what do I do then?"
"Try talking to him. I'm sure he still uses his Skype, so why not try and call him to talk to him? Or, since he's in town now, a better choice would probably be to visit him at the boarding house. I'm sure he would love to see you."
"Really?"
"Of course, Helga. Why wouldn't he?"
I sent a picture of the Christmas tree I tried to put up in our living room to Bob that night.
It said, "This is what you're missing here at home. Hope your happy you ditched us on Christmas, Bob."
I then, proceeded to kick the tree (lights and all) down to the ground and let it sit there for the remainder of the night.
Miriam didn't notice.
And I didn't care.
Because Christmas was just a bunch of colorful broken lights littering our living room floor.
The Christmas countdown was in full swing by Wednesday which only gave the procrastinators four days until the big Xmas. And while the joys of watching endless shoppers meander their way into the department store I worked at grew to annoying built up rage, I found that I was becoming a regular scrooge.
"Excited for Christmas?" My coworkers would ask.
"About as excited as a male dog on it's way to getting neutered." would be my reply.
And of course, we would go on our merry ways to finish our jobs of folding clothes like the regular lowly-paid maids we essentially were.
I walked home from work that day (per usual) and stopped briefly to glance over at the vacant lot once known to us as "Gerald Field." The grass around it was frozen from the cold, but t was a dry brown, begging to be coated in cold white flakes. Trash littered it's ground now and the only thing it held there for me now were memories.
"Spent a lot of time there, didn't we Arnold?" I found myself mumbling as I shoved my hands in my coat pockets and stared absentmindedly. "Game after endless game. Dirt flying... mud getting trapped in your thick blonde hair that smelled so wonderfully and yet I could never distinguish just what kind of shampoo you used to wash it all out after we got done but I still liked to think about it when you weren't around..." I shook my head for a moment and sucked in a deep breath. "Phoebe is right, my fair haired beauty. I push you away and yet, all I long to do is hold you near and dear to my heart. This Christmas, as with any Christmas, my only wish is for you to finally see just how much I adore you.. how badly I long to be with you despite all of my unclear actions towards you." I sighed and looked down at my white converse for a brief moment. "But I think it's safe to say I've given up on that whole Christmas thing this year. Oh Arnold... I wish it weren't so. I wish this cruel world still held hope for someone like me... but..." I glanced over to Gerald Field once more and smiled fondly.
"Helga? Pataki?" I spun my head to look over my shoulder and saw none other than bursting-at-the-seams-with-joy Eugene followed by Sheena with a bigger smile than usual plastered on her face.
Turning around, I shoved my hands further into my coat's pockets and inhaled sharply.
"Eugene. Sheena. What a... surprise."
"How are you? Gosh, you look splendid, Helga." Eugene beamed and I shrugged nonchalantly.
"I look the same as I always have, bucko. You however seem to be in higher spirits than usual. Which, to be honest, I didn't think you could quite top."
"I'm just so happy to be home. Aren't you, Sheena?"
"Of course!" She squeaked and clapped her gloves together to make one muffled clap.
"And Hillwood is so beautiful during Christmas with all the lights. It just puts me in the highest of moods."
"Yeah... a lot of lights with no snow." I mumbled just quietly enough to be out of earshot.
I reached up to adjust my hat sitting on my head while my eyes shifted over to the empty field filled full.
"What do you think, Helga?"
My attention returned to that of the two people glowing with Christmas cheer that the bubbliest elf would be envious of standing in front of me.
"Hmm?"
"He asked if you thought so too." Sheena said.
"Thought what of what?"
"Well that it looks so great with all the Christmas lights shining around Hillwood." Eugene was concentrating hard on my expression and I smacked my lips loudly.
"I guess it looks nice."
"You guess?" Sheena asked once more.
"Yes, I GUESS. Look. I'm not having the greatest of days here and I just kind of want to be left alone if you two cheer-misters don't mind."
The two exchanged a look for a moment and nodded to each other.
"Well, if you say so, Helga. I guess we'll see you around."
"Yeah, well don't bet all your scholarship cash on it."
Pivoting around, I made my way down main street while passing all the colorful décor in the windows of the shops. It wasn't until I found myself in front of the Sunset Arms boarding house that I realized just where my subconscious was leading me.
Somewhere I DIDN'T want to be.
"I gotta get out of here..." I muttered and soon hid behind a few nearby garbage cans as the muffled sound of voices grew near.
"...since 1945 it has snowed every year, Shortman. And this year is no different."
"I don't know, Grandpa." That voice... it's him... "It just seems so... bleak."
Even Arnold, optimistic and happy ARNOLD thought it wasn't Christmas...
My heart began to race and I silently willed it to stop getting so excited.
It was just Arnold.
Arnold...
"We'll get snow soon. Don't worry. You planning on staying for the Secret Santa drawing?"
I watched his figure shift slightly from the crack between the two trashcans.
"Nah, Grandpa. I'll just draw for my Santa later. I kind of want to walk around a bit."
"Well, if you say so. See you later, Shortman."
"Bye Grandpa." He shut the door behind him and took an audible deep breath.
Without much thought, I shifted from my uncomfortable stance and fell over, knocking over one of the two trashcans I had been hiding behind which, of course; caused Arnold to immediately divert his attention to the loud noise that had just disturbed his thought process.
Spinning around, our eyes locked for a brief moment. A moment that was, however; long enough for him to process just who I was.
"Helga?" he called out, and I felt my cheeks redden instantly at the sound of my name passing his lips. "Helga, is-is that you?"
Stumbling to my feet, I ran the other way as fast as I could without so much as an insult in his name.
Because in all honesty, my brain was spinning so fast that I was having a hard time remembering just who this "Helga" was.
"You should have simply talked to him, Helga. As I said previously, I am sure that he would enjoy talking to you after... well after how you stopped talking to him once we graduated."
"And apparently, you're never going to let that go, are ya Pheebs?"
"We both know that I'm not the only one 'holding on' to that fact, Helga."
I kicked an empty Yahoo bottle down the sidewalk with my hands buried in my jeans' pockets. A toasty 43 degrees it was, which was downright bullshit for December 23rd.
"So what? So what if I'm holding on? So what if I don't talk to the kid? His life won't change. It HASN'T changed since I stopped talking to him. I bet his life is MUCH better without me, anyways. Criminy, I mean the football-head is in COLLEGE, probably the big-on-campus-guy with perfect grades and shit-tons of friends. What is losing ONE girl who may or may not have loved him his entire life gonna mean to him? NOTHING. Case closed, Phoebe."
We continued down the street for a few minutes in complete silence; the wind starting to whip around us violently.
"I think you're wrong, Helga."
"Excuse me?" I heard the acid tone in my voice, but didn't stop to apologize.
"I said, I think you're wrong Helga. You simply don't know how he feels or felt about you in any way shape or form. We all have ideas and thoughts on the matter, but the truth of the matter is you don't know how ARNOLD ever felt because you didn't bother to ask him yourself. Maybe losing you didn't affect him, but maybe it DID and until you confront him, all it will ever be is a 'maybe,' Helga."
Stopping dead in my tracks, I looked to my best friend- the one I had turned to through thick or thin who had always supported me no matter how stupid I was.
"You know what, Pheebs?"
"Hmm?" She questioned as she too stopped and turned around to look at me remaining in my spot with my feet planted to the pavement beneath my feet.
"You're right. You're ABSOLUTELY right. And you know what else? You've changed. Ever since you ran off to college and started dating Geraldo, you seem to forget who had been there for you every second of your guys' rocky relationship when it was all starting out. You seem to forget just how MISERABLE I was here with MIRIAM and BOB screaming every two seconds at each other and the divorce mess with NOBODY to turn to. You just LEFT, me Phoebe Heyerdahl. And... and I didn't know what to DO."
"Helga..." her voice was wavering and I felt my anxiety peak despite knowing there was no turning back now after what I'd said. "I... I don't... I couldn't stay here... I mean..."
"Of COURSE you couldn't. You couldn't stay here in HILLWOOD the way I had to. You wouldn't have been ABLE to. You're too SMART for Hillwood. Too smart for US. So go. Run off. Go find Tall Hair Boy and do WHATEVER it is you two do and see if I care. I know you won't."
"Helga..." I couldn't stand to look at her knowing just how she'd look... I could tell I was ripping her apart the way I had when we were still in elementary school. It was the only way I could keep her around. I'd always known she was too good of a friend for me anyway. Maybe it was time to let her go too... "I couldn't have stayed here, and you know that. It's... it's very selfish of you to say all of this to me. You know I've missed you, and..." her voice was getting more confident. I shifted my eyes to the ground as she continued to talk, her voice getting more stern with each sentence. "And for you to ask me to give up my dreams of higher education, of all I've been working for is... is very rude of you, Helga. And you KNOW I've supported you through everything you dealt with involving Arnold and your family alike, and my leaving is no reason for you to throw it in my face that I am actually happy."
"Actually happy. ACTUALLY HAPPY. Well GO BE HAPPY then. GO."
Her eyes were welling up and it took all I had not to look at her to show her just how hurt I was too.
"Fine, Helga. I'll go."
"FINE." I yelled back as she walked away from me.
It wasn't snowing, but I was cold all of a sudden. And I didn't wonder as to why.
"Golly... that sure was a fight like I ain't never seen before."
"I know. Who would have thought Helga and Phoebe would ever stop being friends? Out of all of us I thought they'd stick together for sure."
"Sid. Stink-O. I can HEAR you two blubbering IDIOTS."
"Garsh, Helga. Just 'cause you had a fight with your now ex-best friend since preschool doesn't mean you gotta be all mean to us. We didn't do nothing."
I turned around and put my hands on my hips.
"Can't you two see I don't want to TALK to anyone? CRIMINY! What is WITH everyone ganging up on me?"
"We aren't ganging up, Helga. Boy howdy, all we're trying to do is be here for you."
"By pointing out the obvious?"
The two exchanged a look and shrugged.
"I don't have time for this." I muttered and turned around to head for home.
By the time I walked in the door it must have been six o'clock and my stomach was begging to be fed, which of course meant I neglected it and Miriam who was crying on the phone with who I was supposing Bob to go in my room and lock the door.
I pulled out my leather-bound journal from two Christmases ago.
Helga, the inside cover read in Olga's elegant script. I hope this journal suits you well, Baby Sister. I know how much you love to write, and maybe one day we can talk about some of your teenage problems like real sisters do. Until then, let this journal be my ear. ~Olga.
I turned it to the newest blank page and pulled out a pen from under my pillow.
Oh Arnold, I scribbled down on the lines of the paper, If only I could stop myself from the horrors I lead myself to do. I find myself digging such a deep hole of self-pity these days. Christmas seems to have disappeared right under our noses, hasn't it? Snow hasn't seen us since last December and I find myself seeing the lack of snow as only another reason why this year's Christmas won't be the same. Bob isn't coming home for Christmas. I guess the big lug wants to celebrate it with whatever Bimbo he's been sleeping around with these days. As if I care. Miriam sits on the couch all day and sleeps and drinks. There isn't any use trying to get her to do anything else. As for the perfect Olga, she's blissfully happy with Vince and her baby bump. She has all she ever wanted for Christmas. So why is it that I'm so alone? No Phoebe (which WAS all my fault...) no family (not like I ever really had one to BEGIN with...) and no YOU, my sweet Arnold. All I wish for Christmas, is that you have the Christmas I can't.
I tapped my pen against the journal and thought back to the Christmas so many years ago. I thought back to the Christmas where I not only helped ARNOLD, but the boarder who was staying there, Mr. Hyunh.
In a way, it hurt to know that I couldn't do anything for him this year, or rather; I wasn't feeling the mood enough to DO anything this year.
Christmas changes so much from our childhood memories of it, doesn't it? It morphs into another day of the week, simply into a day off from work or a day off from school. Suddenly, the magic it once held for us naïve little children wears off and we're left with dry memories of old laughs, old flames and old families that have dwindled away or forgotten what Christmas is truly about.
My brain struggled to find the words to write down what I was thinking. So I simply started a new paragraph.
Merry Christmas, Arnold. I wrote, and closed the journal.
Christmas Eve proved to be both busy and uneventful, which not only made it an oxymoron, but it was also chock full of old fashioned MORONS running around in search for last minute presents.
My 9 hour shift dragged on for twice as long as it really was, and the moment I was off the clock, I sat my ass down in the middle of the mall with a big cup of Hot Chocolate from one of the new coffee shops that had sprung up over last summer nearby.
Over the years, I'd grown rather fond of people-watching. I found it fascinating to see just how much you could learn about a person just from the way they walked.
The busy ones. They looked around for exactly what they needed. That look in their eye showing just how important they THOUGHT their quest was.
The shy and outspoken ones who rarely looked up from their feet to see where they were going.
The angry ones who stomped around with their fists clenched and/or their eyebrows scrunched as they searched for whatever it was they were looking for.
And once in a blue moon, you found the people you knew JUST from their walk.
Bouncing heels. Clearly a happy person. Relaxed stature, but not TOO relaxed. Doe eyes. Freckles.
Lila Sawyer.
And of course, she just HAD to wish me a Merry Christmas.
"Why, hello Helga. What a surprise to see you here. Are you shopping for anyone special this year?"
"If I was, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be lazing around with 500 calories in my hands watching everyone walk passed me."
"Oh, I don't know. Sometimes I like to take a break from the world and just watch everyone else. It's awfully humbling to see the world go on without you doing anything about it."
"Wow. How kind of you to drop THAT piece of knowledge on me. Just brightens my day, Lila."
She sat down on an empty chair directly across from me. I sighed inwardly.
"I don't mean that in a pessimistic way. Oh not at all. I simply mean that it's nice to see everyone can have a break once in a while. Don't you think?"
"Yeah. I guess so."
"So what are you doing here if you aren't shopping?"
"Why does it matter?"
"Oh I don't know. I guess I was just curious."
"You're always curious. Haven't you heard that curiosity killed the cat?"
"Well gosh, I suppose so. Why?"
"Well it does."
"I'm oh so sure I don't know what you mean by that, Helga."
I sighed and sat up resting my elbows on my knees as I continued to hold my Hot Chocolate between my hands.
"What I MEAN is, I'm not in the Christmas mood. So buzz off."
Without being taken aback in the slightest, Miss Goody-Two-Shoes smiled a warm smile and reached out to pat my back.
"No matter what you think, Christmas miracles DO happen, Helga."
"It isn't Christmas."
She smiled and nodded as she stood up and pulled her gloves on after adjusting her hat on her head.
"Exactly. Merry Christmas, Helga."
"Yeah, yeah." I mumbled and focused my attention as best as I could to the people walking by me in their hurried paces.
Merry Christmas, Helga.
It was funny. I couldn't remember anyone actually saying that to me this year. And for the strangest moment, I almost felt like little Miss Perfect might be right.
It didn't take me long to shake off that feeling and to get my sorry butt back to my house before it got too late and dark outside.
It nearly broke my heart to realize Phoebe hadn't even tried to get a hold of me after our little fight. I mean, usually we held the grudge for a day or two TOPS, but it was CHRISTMAS for God's sake. I mean, CRIMINY, the girl had to have a heart.
I knew she did.
And I guess I just wasn't a part of it anymore.
I sat up in my bed to glance out my bedside window and sigh.
"Still no snow, huh?" I verbally asked the world outside. "Merry Christmas to you too."
Miriam, surprisingly, was awake and had the television turned on to some Christmas special.
"Good... Good morning, Helga." She slurred as I eyed the wine bottle sitting on the coffee table beside her.
"Hey, Miriam." I grabbed my coat from off the rack and pulled it over my shoulders.
"Wh-where... Where are you going?"
"I honestly don't know, Miriam."
"But Helga, honey, it's Christmas. Isn't it?"
"Yes, Miriam. It's Christmas."
"Well, don't you want to stay here?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Not really."
"Why not? I, I could make us some pancakes for breakfast if you stay."
"We don't HAVE any ingredients for that, Mom."
"We... We don't? But..." She stumbled as she stood up and turned around pointing to the kitchen as she concentrated on building her sentence. "I just bought some the other day."
"That was last WEEK. The pancake mix is gone from the passed week. I had to make us SOMETHING to eat since you don't unless I make it for you."
"Well, let's go to the store and pick some up."
"We CAN'T, Miriam. Everything is closed. It's CHRISTMAS. Criminy."
"Well I'm SORRY, Helga."
"Whatever." I said as I closed the door and locked it behind me.
I wasted the day away by wandering around Hillwood. One coffee shop was open, but only because the owners didn't celebrate Christmas, so I stopped there for some Hot Chocolate and a stale blueberry muffin. I then proceeded to nap on the chair they had in the place until I was tapped on the shoulder and told that they were closing. Looking outside, I noticed how dark it was and checked my phone only to see that it was nearing seven o'clock at night.
The temperature had significantly dropped by the time I left for home, and since I hadn't brought a jacket, I was freezing. The streets were empty and I found myself looking all around myself at the blinking lights in the windows from Christmas trees and decorations alike. Some families were opening gifts, some were playing with theirs, some were eating dinner, and some were picking up young children holding new toys as they slept in their parents' arms.
It wasn't until I reached my house that I realized I had left my keys inside.
Knocking the door as loudly as I could and ringing the doorbell endlessly, I called out as loud as I could for Miriam, but one peak in the window showed her passed out with a melted smoothie in one hand, and the remote in the other as the television shone bright with static.
"Great. Just GREAT. Not only do I not have CHRISTMAS, but now I have to sleep outSIDE on Christmas night. FanTASTIC." I grumbled before sliding down against the door to sit curled up in an effort to keep myself warm. "I can't believe this is happening..." I shut my eyes as my teeth chattered in my mouth; the cold getting colder yet with each moment that passed. It wasn't long before I began to feel fluffy flakes of snow start to finally flutter from the sky and into my hair, on my eyelashes, and everywhere else. "Sure. NOW it snows."
"Christmas day is a better time for snow than any."
I opened my eyes to see Arnold standing in front of me, a blanket in hand and a smile on his face.
"Ar...Ar-Arnold..." I stuttered, though I couldn't figure out if it was from my state of shock or the cold affecting my speech patterns.
He walked up the steps to sit next to me and drape the blanket over my shoulders. Being as frozen as I was both mentally and physically, I didn't try to push him away as I normally would have.
"It's funny. Grandpa said it would snow." he chuckled to himself. "I didn't believe him, but I'm glad he was right."
"What...What are you doing here?"
"Went for a walk and saw you sitting out here alone, so I figured you might want some company. Nobody should be alone on Christmas."
I rolled my eyes.
"You stole that from How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
He shrugged and smiled, his eyes still locked on the falling snow.
"Doesn't mean I don't agree with it."
"Okay, so even though I DON'T buy the whole, 'I was out for a walk with this convenient blanket when I just so happened to see you sitting alone in the freezing cold so I thought I'd stop by to annoy you' bit, I'll indulge you. Why would you want to go for a walk on Christmas?"
"If I'm bothering you, Helga, I can go home..." He started to stand, and I found myself grabbing his forearm in an attempt to get him to stay.
"Wait..." I said, and his green eyes locked with mine for a moment. "I mean... uh..." it was suddenly very warm under the thin blanket wrapped around me. "if you want to stay, knock yourself out. I could care less."
"Whatever you say, Helga."
The snow did look pretty. Arnold thought so too. We sat on my stoop for hours it seemed, just watching the snow fall and blanket the world that had been waiting for it so long. Despite having not talked to Arnold in months, I felt so comfortable next to him with his blanket around me. It smelled like the memory of his hair I had held onto so tightly and I buried myself in memories of childhood and Christmases passed.
"You want to walk around? Since we're just sitting here freezing anyway?"
I looked over to him to find him looking at me and nodded my head slowly.
"Sure, football-head."
I felt like a hobo walking down the streets of Hillwood with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders.
"Do you see anyone around to even think that besides us?" Arnold asked with a laugh.
"Well, NO, but I'm just saying. I have a REPUTATION to uphold you know."
"And what would that be?"
I shrugged and smiled rather proud of myself for a moment.
"That I'm much cooler than you, Hair Boy."
"Touche." He smirked as we continued walking, him making a sudden turn down an alley.
"So are you leading me anywhere in particular, Arnoldo? Because I'm not really in the mood to get lost when it's this cold out and snowing this badly with only your blanke-"
I stopped instantly when I caught sight of Gerald Field in front of me.
Lights.
Christmas tree.
People.
Music.
Arnold took my hand and with a smile and led me to the field that had been clearly tamed since I'd last seen it. The song "Pas De Deux" from The Nutcracker Ballet was playing over Gerald's iPod speakers, and I felt my heart race absurdly fast.
Only one person knew how much I loved the Nutcracker Ballet.
Only one person knew how much I loved the melancholy feeling the notes brought on in my head.
Looking around myself, I saw Phoebe standing next to Gerald with a small smile on her face and I glanced between Arnold and her. He stopped and nodded as he let go of my hand and I stood frozen allowing Phoebe to make her way to me with an apologetic look on her face.
"I'm sorry, Helga."
"No... Pheebs... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all those things to you. I... I wasn't thinking. I was-"
"You were hurt. And I was being selfish by not trying to help you get through... well... you know."
I leaned in to whisper in her ear.
"Do THEY all know?"
She shook her head and smiled.
"Of course not, Helga."
"Thanks, Pheebs... But you didn't have to go through all of this for me."
"Oh, I didn't."
I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Lila came and talked to me yesterday after she saw you at the mall."
"What?"
"You just looked ever so sad, Helga. And Christmas isn't a time to be sad. It's a time to be joyful and thankful and excited for the upcoming year."
"She didn't know what was going on, but when she told me how distraught you seemed... I told Gerald that I wanted to do something special for you for Christmas."
"Oh no, don't drag me into this, Phoebe. I was all for helping and all, but it was my man Arnold that brought the whole thing together."
My eyes widened and I swallowed the lump that had suddenly made it's appearance.
"Wh...What?"
Phoebe winked and I turned to look at Arnold for a moment. He was standing slightly back from me by the Christmas tree that had been decorated to outshine even the best tree.
"I... I don't understand. WHY?" I practically shouted in a monotone voice. The song began again over the speakers as it was apparently put on repeat.
He looked around for a moment, the others besides Gerald and Phoebe clearly off in their own worlds enjoying the fresh snow and the refreshments that Rhonda was bragging about providing.
"You're different, Helga."
"I'm not. You're wrong and... and stupid to have done this, okay?"
"Helga... listen to me, okay?"
I crossed my arms and tried my best to look irritated, though my heart was nearly bursting at the seams.
"I wasn't trying to talk to you when I left because I felt obligated like you told me you thought during our one Skype conversation." I blushed and looked down at my feet for a moment before composing myself enough to return my attention back to him. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Okay... so you're talking to me now. What was the big deal?"
"The big deal was... well..." he was blushing now, and I saw Gerald shaking his head with a grin out of the corner of my eye. "I wanted you to just tell me you liked me for once and for all."
I felt the world begin to spin around me, and I found myself at a loss for words.
Well, words that made any SENSE.
"What? I don't... like I'd ever... I mean look at... all the... how could you think... It isn't like..." I trailed off and tried to refocus my breathing pattern.
"Helga..." he grabbed my hand again and I panicked when I realized just how sweaty it had gotten. "I figured it out a while ago-" Gerald cleared his throat and Phoebe giggled quietly as Arnold readjusted his statement. "well, GERALD kind of... MADE me figure it out, but the point is that it's okay. You could have just told me."
"No, I couldn't have. Because you're way off."
"I am?" He said with almost disappointment and I searched Phoebe's eyes for an answer to my problem the way I always had.
And I couldn't do that anymore.
Looking down at my feet, I took a deep breath.
"No." I whispered.
"What did you say?"
I looked up to Arnold and shrugged.
"No. You're not wrong. I like... I lo... I-"
"I get it." He smiled and pulled me closer to him; the blanket around me suddenly feeling like fire the closer I got to Arnold.
"So you did this... because..."
"Merry Christmas, Helga." He said with a smile and leaned in to gently press his lips against mine for what seemed like the most perfect ending to any Christmas I could have ever asked for.
When he pulled back and I gained sense of what had just happened, I looked at Arnold the way I'd longed to my entire life and smiled as he nodded his head to the top of the Christmas tree where a piece of Mistletoe had been taped to the tip of the star that rested there. "I know it's not quite OVER us... but..." He shrugged and pulled me into his arms as the song reached it's ending once again. I wasn't aware of how many times the song had played since I arrived at Gerald Field, and to be honest; I couldn't care less.
Christmases passed change once you grow older. The gifts grow to be less and the magic tends to wear off as we forget just what Christmas is entirely about. But then, there are those moments- the dollar thrown in the Salvation Army bucket, the extra Candy Cane you sneak to a kid running around a store, and even a simple Mistletoe kiss that remind us what Christmas ISN'T about: Gifts. The only gift we truly get is each other, and through that we experience the real Christmas magic in us all.
Hope nobody hates me for the cheesiness in the ending. But i didn't want to make it all sad and whatnot. :) Christmas should be happy :) let me know what you guys think, R&R and i hope ALL OF YOU have a WONDERFUL Christmas! :) (or happy holidays ;))