My Eyes, His Eyes

Disclaimer: Not mine yosh!

Jessie: Aw, that's so cute!

Joh: Our birthday is soon (not really but whatever) only… uh a 2 or 3 more months!

Jessie: And hopefully we shall celebrate it.

Joh: Yes, with cake and presents. Anyway, this is another one-shot I did because I was feeling angsty cuz my iPod broke…

Jessie: Poor baby.

Joh: I know…

Warnings: Profanity, OOC on Yoh's part, twincest, maybe one sided love dpeends on how you look at it

0o0o0o0

Yoh

Have you ever turned around because you felt someone looking at you? You know that funny shiver that race up your spine when a pair of eyes lingers on you for too long? I know that feeling, almost to the point where I'm used to it. Almost.

I know who it is. I know who's staring at me. But that doesn't change the feeling of wild anticipation shuddering through me every time his sharp eyes inspect me.

You're probably wondering who the hell I'm talking about. I mean Hao Asakura, my brother.

Is that weird that I'm a little freaked out by my own brother?

Maybe, but you haven't met him before.

At first glance you might find him handsome, innocent even…but when you take a closer look that image begins to twist horribly. The cute smile you thought you saw on his face turns out to be a cynical smirk. Those thoughtful black eyes become sharp and eagle-like.

People say we look exactly alike. I think they're wrong. Dead wrong. We may have the same basic features but you would never see my lips curve into a sneer like that. Our eyes may have the same onyx color but mine don't glint in that calculating way.

We're twins, but we look nothing alike.

But, don't get the wrong idea. I certainly don't hate my brother. I suppose I do love him, although I'm wary of him at the same time. I never know what he's gonna do next.

He's spontaneous. And moody. Not good together, right?

You'd think that after 17 years I'd get used to his attitude, but no.

I remember that time in 7th grade when I got my first girlfriend. He went nuts. It was scary to say the least. I broke up with her soon after his explosion.

Maybe I'm too submissive. Who knows?

Hao's always been kind of protective of me. He likes to act like he's that much older than me, even though he's only 5 seconds older. But I didn't care that much.

But by the time I entered 10th grade I realized that he was being a little more than just protective in that older brother kind of way. Almost everywhere I went, he was with me. The only time he let me be alone was when we were at home and he went out to do god knows what.

I tap my fingers against the desk surface, drumming them in a bored way. Come to think of it, where was he? I check my watch and sigh. 11:00 pm.

This is nothing unusual. Sometimes he'll leave and he won't return for days on end. What do my parents think of this? Well, Dads always out on his business trips while Mom just never noticed my brother's absences.

My brother never had a great relationship with Mom and Dad.

What about our relationship?

I almost laugh when I think about this. Maybe 5 years ago I would have called his care brotherly, but I'm older now and I know more. It's anything but brotherly.

My dark eyes skim over the pictures I have taped to the wall in front of me. Pictures of when we were younger and Dad was part of the family and my brother was normal.

I smile slightly and touch my favorite photo.

It's of Hao and me, together at the beach when we were 8.

Even back then Hao was a little screwy, although back then I never noticed. He was scowling at the camera, keeping a firm hold on my hand as I grinned goofily squeezing his hand back.

Cute.

I sigh and lean back in my chair, tipping it back with my feet resting on the desk. Sometimes I wish that I could still be the same stupid kid in that picture. I wouldn't have to be aware of my brother's wandering eyes and possessive hands. I wouldn't have to listen and remember my brother's screams of frustration when he got in a fight with Dad.

Of course no one knows that I listen. No one knows that I watch and remember what I saw.

To be honest, Hao probably knows me better then anyone else. He knows I'm not as stupid and empty minded as I pretend to be, but does he know that I can feel him looking me up and down?

I don't think so.

I hear the front door slam and heavy footsteps thudding up the stairs to my room. I don't look up when my door is opened forcibly and a stoned teen stumbles in, collapsing on my bed.

Our eyes meet, his are red shot and glazed over, proving that he had indeed been out with drugs of some kind.

I should be asking him why he's doing this, where he's been, and who he's been hanging out with. But I don't.

"Hao, this is the third time this week you've thrown yourself in my room looking like shit." I point out, tilting my chair back onto all four of its legs. I know Hao will get mad at me for sitting like that even though he does it all the time.

"Shut up." He snarls holding out a hand for me to take.

I must be crazy but I take his hand, lacing my fingers through his.

0o0

Hao

It's almost funny how different Yoh and I are. Even though we're brothers and we live under the same roof we lead totally different lives.

I've watched him in school and I memorize the faces of the people he hangs out with. Responsible enough kids if not a little weird. But hey, it's not as if the crowd I hang with is normal.

Hah. That's funny.

Yoh gets good enough grades and he doesn't act up in class, although he does tend to fall asleep a lot, at least he doesn't skip.

I would, but I want to keep my eyes on him for as long as I can.

That probably sounds really weird, but what the fuck do you know?

You have no clue how much Yoh means to me. He's my sanity. People think I'm screwed over now, just imagine what I would be like with my little brother taken out of the picture.

Not pretty, hm?

That's why I protect my brother so furiously. If anything happened to him I don't know what I'd do.

Sometimes when I watch him I feel the sudden overwhelming urge to take him away. I dunno where, just away from everyone else. I hate it when other people touch him, even if it's a simple pat on the back.

They're still putting their filthy hands on him.

But of course, I restrain myself from tearing them apart for touching my Yoh. If I did something like that in school I'd be locked up for sure, and then how would I be able to keep an eye on him?

I snicker softly to myself and light the joint in my fingers. I always go out to do this so that Yoh won't see. He's not a stupid kid, he knows by now what I'm up to when I leave home. But still, I don't want him to see.

I sometimes don't make any sense, but who the hell cares?

You sure for hell don't.

No, the only one who ever will care for me is Yoh. He knows my faults and still he doesn't reject me. He doesn't feel ashamed of me likeour mom and father do. Scratch that, like his mom and father do.

Note to self: disown parents.

You're probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. Who knows?

I close my eyes and breath in deeply. Relief is flowing through me as my nerves fade away to a glazed over kind of feeling.

Yoh, Yoh, Yoh.

I laugh to myself again, but no one looks at me funny, they're all too stoned to care.

I want to see Yoh, no I need to see Yoh now.

With a lazy flick of my hand I've tossed the joint and have made my way out of the club into the foggy streets. It's cold but I can't feel anything but the burning desire to see my brother again.

Mine, mine, mine.

Yoh, Yoh, Yoh.

Maybe I'm insane but I love my brother. Not brotherly love. More than that, much more than that.

My hands itch as I rummage through my pockets for the keys but my senses are clogged. Damn it.

Finally I find my keys and unlock the door, slamming it open. The house shakes slightly as I kick my shoes off making them bounce off the wall, leaving an imprint of mud. Mom, I mean Yoh's mom, will kill me for that later.

My vision sways slightly but I steady myself with a firm grip on the staircase railing.

Yoh, Yoh, Yoh.

I feel like it's been days since I've seen him when in reality it's only been a few hours. That just shows my inability to be separated from him.

What do you call that? Oh yeah, separation anxiety.

Well screw that.

There's Yoh's room, I can see the light coming out from under the door. The wanting inside me grows as I reached for the door and fling it open, tripping inside.

There he was, my Yoh, seated at his desk with his feet propped up and his chair tilted on its back two legs.

He doesn't look at me but I know he's acknowledged my presence as I swoop down on his bed breathing in the smell of the fabric. It smells like him.

He sits up straight and peers at me through one soft dark eye. I stare back at him, a sneer fixed on my face as I inhale everything about him as if he was a drug.

He's beautiful to me. To me he doesn't seem like a mirror image, he's simply Yoh.

"This is the third time this week you've thrown yourself into my room looking like shit." Yoh comments with a sigh.

Since when has my baby brother gotten such a mouth? Oh yeah, he picked it up from me. Oops, my bad.

"Shut up." I sneer but nonetheless I hold out a hand as if seeking for help.

He stares at me then reaches out and twins his fingers through mine, a small smile in his eyes.

I pull him out of his chair onto the bed and he curls up against me, laying his head against my chest.

"You smell like smoke." He observes.

"No shit." I snort.

Yoh says nothing as I began to stroke his cheek. Usually I don't touch him like this unless I'm drunk and I don't know what I'm doing but this time I just needed to feel his warmth, his skin against mine.

I could feel his heart racing and I smirk. "Otouto." I rasp nuzzling his face.

I wanted him in every way possible. I wanted to posses him, be with him forever.

Yoh brushes his forehead against mine and pulls back slightly so that he could survey me through wide eyes.

I stare back and notice not for the first time how alike yet different out eyes are.

The same pair of dark eyes stares back at me yet with so many different emotions.

Yoh

Yoh

Yoh…

Maybe we're both a little insane?

0o0o0

Joh: Yeah, that was different from my usual writing.

Review please.

-Joh