To say that Lily was upset summer was ending would be a lie. A bold faced lie. How could she be upset summer was finally, mercifully coming to a close? In the matter of a week she would escape this hell-scape and head home; well, her home away from home. Hogwarts. While this summer had initially started out as amazing as Lily had hoped, things had quickly taken a turn for the worse – in the matter of a month Petunia had become engaged to a walrus-sized human being, Vernon Dursely, her old friend Severus Snape had taken to sending her letters of apology (that were about a year too late) and was constantly trying to talk to Lily while she was out of the house. In fact, just last week, Lily and her mother, Rose, had been out doing some light grocery shopping when Lily was cornered by her old friend in the frozen foods section. A section already uncomfortable because of how cold it was, but made further uncomfortable by being cornered by a one-time-friend and having to act like it wasn't emotionally, mentally or physically painful to stand there and talk to him because her mother was watching. And, let's keep it real, as far as Lily was concerned, there were just some things her mom didn't need to know about. For example: How Severus Snape, her childhood best friend, had managed to degrade her in front of the entire school by calling her a mudblood.
"Lily, please, can we just talk for a minute?"
"Sev. I don't have time for this – my mum is waiting for me, she's already watching us over there. Please, don't make a scene…" Lily eyed her mother warily from across the aisle and tried to shoot her a small grin – one thing Lily had never gotten around to explaining to her mum was the dissolution of her friendship with Severus.
"We need to talk. I've apologized so many times! Have you been getting my letters?" Severus pressed on, getting increasingly closer to Lily.
"Yes. I have. And, honestly, you don't need to send them. I know you're sorry for what you said, but it really hurt. And it's not the kind of hurt that goes away. I've already told you I've forgiven you, can you please just let it go? Leave me alone. Stop looking for me around town. Stop writing me."
Severus' face looked strained as it constricted with emotion he was clearly struggling to keep hidden. "Lily, you know you're my best friend!"
"No, I was your best friend. Past tense. I have to go now. Have a good rest of summer." Lily started to inch away from Severus, looking to her mother with a reassuring, easy smile.
Severus reached out quickly, like a snake striking his victim, and wrapped his hand around her elbow. "You have to hear me out! Things can go back to the way they were!"
Lily dropped her easy-going mask and a hard, stony look took over her features. This was her 'prefect Lily' face – or, as her roommates so lovingly referred to it: Lily's Bitch Face - "You need to listen to me Sev, and really hear me this time. Because I'm not going to explain this again. Just because I've forgiven you, does not mean I will ever forget what you said to me. You were my best friend, but then you threw that all away and degraded me in front of the entire school. And for what reason? Because some petty idiots were embarrassing you!? I was defending you, I was trying to help you! And what did I get in return? I got a nasty name thrown in my face." Lily crossed her arms across her chest, breathing heavily with anger. "I was humiliated. For years, years Sev, I told my house friends that you were kind and sweet, and not nearly as cruel as you could come across. I told them how you'd always looked out for me, and helped me understand what I was before I ever got a Hogwarts letter. But you ruined it. You ruined everything."
Severus' face was a blank expression, as though he'd just been slapped, but his eyes showed everything. They weren't hardened with anger or brimming with tears, but they had a look to them that Lily couldn't help but associate with her early years of friendship to Severus – the years when he'd come to her house when his parents were fighting, or when he'd been laughed at in classes because of his hooked nose and eternally greasy hair. Years of friendship, Lily reasoned, had been destroyed that day in fifth year, but she couldn't stand to see Severus look so defeated.
"You know, if you ever really need me, I will be there for you. But this," Lily gestured between herself and Severus, "this is not you really needing me. This is you feeling bad for yourself and missing having someone to talk to, and hang out with." Lily noticed the hard, glazed look Severus' eyes had taken on, and again began to walk away. "I'll see you at Kings Cross, Sev. Have a good end of summer." And with that, Lily walked briskly away towards her mother, linked her arm with Roses' and tried her best to shake off the nagging feeling that maybe Severus really did need her.
That's not to say that Lily wasn't a very forgiving person. Most of her friends would argue that she was among the kindest, generous, and vivacious people to have ever graced the halls of Hogwarts. But, during her time at Hogwarts Lily had come to realize that people change, and some friendships just aren't meant to survive. It was a sad realization, but one she could apply to other parts of her life: her relationship with her sister, and even the Marauders.
The Marauders were an interesting subject for Lily – growing up James Potter and Sirius Black, the group's ringleaders, had actively tried to make her life a living hell. And, once puberty struck, all bets were off. James, a handsome, talented Quidditch player, excellent student, and class clown, had taken a special interest in Lily around the end of fourth year. Before that, she'd often caught him staring at her across classrooms, as though lost in a daydream, but it wasn't until the end of fourth year that she began to suspect that maybe he fancied her. Suddenly, he was reminding her of Quidditch games and house parties – even inviting her to hang out with him and his friends during Hogsmead weekend visits – and while she never went along (her best friend harbored an undying hatred for one Sirius Black and would have held it against her for the rest of Lily's natural life) the invitations left an impact. The mean prankster she had gone so far out of her way to avoid during her first four years at Hogwarts, was suddenly not so mean.
But then fifth year came and a cocky attitude had replaced the old, inviting demeanor Lily had come to expect from James. Suddenly, Severus was complaining that James and his friends had spread a nasty, new nickname for him (enter "Snivellus") and were picking fights with him and other Slytherin students in the hallway. James had taken to asking her out in front of audiences, often going to lengths to embarrass her ("Why not Lily? Why not give a fella a bleedin' chance? Does Snape need you to stay in and braid his greasy hair?") and Lily's opinion of James nose-dived.
It wasn't until the end of sixth year that James seemed to take a step back from being a cocky arse. Lily no longer heard reports from other prefects of James and his friends picking fights with students from other houses, or attacking Severus Snape between classes; he had grown up and she had no clue what triggered it. Suddenly, James' fourth year self had reemerged from the dead and he was back to being polite and inviting. Yet again, Lily had to recognize that people change – some for the better, others for the worse – and that James Potter was clearly among those who had changed… Even if he had changed, changed back, and then changed again. By the end of sixth year Lily had come to call James a "friendly acquaintance," or at least that's how she referred to him when her friends would ask her what, exactly, was going on between the pair.
Lily's friend Olympia, a pure-blood whose tolerance of Sirius Black was so low that Lily was sure the pair would never be civil, was always reminding her: "Friendly acquaintances don't offer to hold your books while walking with you to class. For Merlin's sake, I'm your best friend and I sure as hell don't hold your books unless you need to pick something up – and even then, I don't offer." But Lily just tried to smile and let the comments roll off her shoulders; James was known for dating around, and while he never seemed to have one, specific girlfriend, it was too outlandish to believe that his change of attitude had anything to do with having a romantic interest in her. Yes, Lily would often remind herself: he's attractive in a really hot way, and smart, and sexy, and increasingly kind – but he hadn't asked her out since the end of fifth year, and she was sure that meant something.
Lily shook her head as she looked around her room and reminded herself of all the packing she had left; James had sent her a few letters over the course of the summer, all friendly and conversational in tone; the last letter to arrive invited her to a pool party at his family's home in two days time. Ollie (Olympia's nickname) and Lily's two other friends, Alice and Marlene, had already owled Lily and asked if she had gotten an invitation as well; it would seem that this pool party would be for the entire incoming seventh year Gryffindor class, with a few lucky school mates from other houses and the entire Gryffindor house Quidditch team invited as well. It was exciting and Lily was really looking forward to it – she had already asked Ollie to come over later to help her pick out her outfit and, of course, so the pair could catch up on their gossip. As much as Lily hated to admit it, she wanted to look good; it was the first time she'd be seeing James since the school year had ended and while she was shy to admit it, she hoped that this would be the year he'd take a romantic interest in her, so long as he didn't start acting like a complete arse again.