Edd looked down at the carton of foul-smelling eggs in his hands. "Really, Eddy, I'm not sure about this."

"Boy, there's a newsflash!" Eddy continued rummaging through his refrigerator. "When are you ever sure about anything?" He came back out clutching a pack of blotchy green bologna. "What's your problem, anyway? It's not like you even have to do anything this time!"

"Well, perhaps not, but as Ed's friend I feel I have a moral obligation to speak up on behalf of his hideously abused digestive tract ... " He looked queasy as Eddy squeezed bologna juice over the eggs. "And, uh, just for the record, bologna that's capable of being wrung out is not suitable for human consumption."

"Try to keep up, will ya? We ain't giving this to a 'human,' we're giving it to Ed! That golden stomach of his is gonna make us rich beyond my wildest dreams!" Eddy walked over and thumped Ed on the back. "Good thing I've got ONE friend who helps out once in a while!"

Ed chuckled as he played with the saltshaker he held, 'flying' it around like a spaceship. "Just call me Captain, uh, Captain-Helps-Out-Once-in-a-While!"

Edd rolled his eyes. "You'll have to try harder than that if you expect to trigger my thoroughly overtaxed guilt reflex, Eddy. And at any rate, what makes you think anyone would pay to watch Ed make his typical mockery of all that is nutrition? It's not exactly an unusual occurrence, you ... uh ... you know ... um, Eddy?" He trailed off as Eddy glared at him and pointedly shoved a banana in each ear, then grinned as he made expansive 'I can't hear you' gestures. "Oh, you're so stubborn ... "

Seeing Edd cross his arms and step back to regard him in silent exasperation, Eddy yanked one banana out of his ear and flipped it to Ed. "Are you done yappin' yet? Just admit it, will ya, this is the biggest cash cow of 'em all and you know it!"

"Cash cow!" Ed tossed the saltshaker into the air. "Did I ever tell you guys about when I had a cow? Her name was Ed and she lived in our basement and ate buttered toast and gravy all the time! Oh, wait – " he thought for a moment. "That was me!"

Eddy and Edd both stared as Ed trundled across the kitchen, mooing and ringing an imaginary bell around his neck. "Uh, yeah." Eddy turned back to Edd. "So you're in on the 'Incredible Edible Ed' idea, yeah?" Edd rallied for one last protest but Eddy preempted him before he could start. "Look, just lighten up will ya? What's the big deal? You know Ed eats worse stuff than this all the time – so what's wrong with making a little cash off it?" He waved a hand towards his refrigerator. "Besides, how else are we supposed to get rid of all this stuff?"

Edd frowned. "Yes, well, that's something else that's been concerning me. Why are you suddenly so fixated upon the idea of incorporating this cornucopia of catastrophic consumables into your schemes anyway?" His eyes narrowed slightly. "Are you certain you have no ulterior motive for this?"

"Darn, you got me, Double-D, this is really just one big plan to score mountains of cash by getting kids to pay to watch Ed eat all sorts of gross stuff – how'd you ever figure it out?" His eyes widened in mock surprise. "Oh, wait, that's what I've been TELLING YOU ALL ALONG!" Eddy tore at his hair. "Look, just throw the eggs, will ya? Come onnn, you know you want to!" He slung an arm around Edd's shoulders and pointed him towards Ed. "Just look at him over there, waiting to be fed like some ape at the zoo! You wouldn't let him go hungry, would you?"

"Yeah, feed me, Double-D, I am starving in China!" Ed picked up a nearby roll of paper towels and gnawed on it to prove his point.

Edd looked from the eggs, to Ed, to Eddy, then back at the eggs again. "Well ... " With a sigh, he plucked an egg from the carton and held it up, considering. "At least eggs are a good source of protein, I suppose…" The faintest hint of a grin stole across his face and he looked around to make sure no one was watching. "Very well, let's get this dietary nightmare over with."

"Hang on." Eddy nudged him closer to Ed. "No need to waste good bad eggs on the floor." When Edd stood a foot away from Ed, Eddy grinned and backed away. "Okay, let her rip!" Edd shut his eyes, drew back, and threw.

Ed looked down as the egg struck him in the knee. "Good shot, Double-D! You are the Egg-man!" He licked it off, shell and all, and stood crunching happily. "Koo-koo-ka-choo!"

Edd smiled reluctantly. "Well, I must admit, there was a certain element of fun to that..."

"Elephants are always fun, Double-D!"

"Sure, yeah, what Ed said." Eddy pointed Edd towards the refrigerator and then settled back on a chair with his feet propped up on the table. "Now get to work, we've still got a lot of - uh - practicing to do!"

"Oh, very well, let's see what other gastronomic disasters await us in here, shall we?" His curiosity piqued, Edd donned his rubber gloves and poked around past bottles of flat soda and a bag of furry, deflated oranges. "Really Eddy, when was the last time you cleaned out this refrigerator? One would think you were trying to cultivate new forms of life in here! And what on earth is this?" He gingerly plucked out a red-and-green milk carton. "Eggnog? Eddy, it's July! Has this truly been languishing away in here for the past seven months?"

"What? It's, uh, vintage!" Eddy's eyes lit up. "Hey! Do you think people would fall for 'Eddy's Antique Groceries'?"

"Oh, of course, Eddy! Who doesn't savor the aroma of indescribably rancid dairy products on a hot summer afternoon! Why, it's a well-known fact that the average person would relish the opportunity to indulge in more frequent bouts of projectile vomiting, if only they had the proper inducement!"

"I'm about to 'induce' you, Sock-head." Eddy glowered at Edd, who put a hand over his mouth to hide a giggle. "Fine, forget Eddy's Antique Groceries – just toss it to Ed and get on with it, will ya?"

"Yeah, come on, Double-D! Nog me!"

"Well, if you're positive, Ed." Edd sighed. "But let me say right now that I refuse to be responsible for cleaning up any, er, untoward repercussions that result from this…" He put a hand in front of his eyes as he upended the carton over Ed's mouth. After a few shakes, the contents jiggled out in one semi-solid lump.

Ed downed it in a gulp and smacked his lips. "Mmm, just like the true spirit of Christmas Past, with all the festive aftertaste of nutmeg and gym socks! If only I had a sleigh!"

Edd blinked in surprise. "You mean you actually enjoyed that?" He looked intrigued. "I know I've seen you consume some exceptionally inedible items in the past, Ed, but your intestinal fortitude continues to astound me! Is there no limit to what your digestive system can handle?"

"I would eat my own head if it weren't stuck to my mouth, Double-D!"

Edd giggled out loud this time. "No doubt you would, Ed." Far more enthused now, he stuck his head back in the refrigerator and rooted around. "But before we start tampering with the laws of animated anatomy let's investigate the matter further with a few more specimens culled from this penicillin incubator Eddy refers to as a refrigerator, shall we?"

"Yum, does penicillin taste good with ketchup?" Ed opened wide.

Eddy snickered as he watched his two favorite suckers in action. Well, his mom had demanded that the refrigerator be cleaned out, but she'd never specifically said that he had to do it, did she? Kicking back, he put his arms behind his head and relaxed with a happy sigh. Getting out of work sure was a lot of work – but somehow, it was always worth it.