CM Punk was walking down the street when he was offered some drugs.
"Here dood have it bro " said the dealer
"Thanks dude i love drugs" said Punk.
Punk went back home and made use of his lovely drugs and then went to take a nap, but there was a hooker in his bed, so he shot her in the eye, threw her dead body out of the window and went to sleep.
The next day was Monday, and so he rode on a unicorn to the arena, and told Cena to go fuck himself as he went out to the ring to see what it was like. He then took a piss in the ring, and went back to the locker room.
In his locker room was a giant sea monster who wanted an autograph.
"NO BITCH CAN'T YOU SEE I'M FUCKIN WORKIN HERE BITCH I AINT GO NO TIME FOR AUTOGRAPHS YOU SEE BITCH IM A STAR I HAVE NEEDS AND A LIKE DON'T JUST THINK THAT YOU CANT WALK ALL UP IN HERE AND ASK ME FOR MY FUCKIN NAME ON A PIECE OF PAPER BITCH WHO DA FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SON BITCH U AINT NOBODY IM RICH I GOT A CAR WHICH I NEVER USE N SHIT FUCK YOU BITCH NIGGA FUCK U" Punk replied calmly.
Punk then took the sea monster's backpack and threw it in a dustbin, and then shoved a knife up the monster's left nostril.
"oh." said the monster.
Punk did the Raw show with the usual stuff, killing every crowd member and then tearing down the ring with a chainsaw, and then went backstage. Just a day in the life of CM Punk, eh? Now, CM Punk could go back to his hotel room and get completely fuckin wasted.