A/N: This story is AU after 5.09. A little what if had Rayna lived.

Disclaimer: I don't own Nashville I'm only borrowing it.

Chapter 1

The sterile white walls, the harsh fluorescent lighting, the beeping of machines, and the constant din of activity were all enough to make a person lose their mind. The steady shuffle of medical personnel in and out of the room at all hours of the day made it impossible to sleep. The food was food in name only it wasn't edible and hunger could be added to the list of things already wrong. The daily blood draws and IV fluids made a person start to feel more like a pin cushion than a human.

This had been Rayna Jaymes' life for the past ten days. Or at least what she could remember. There had been a four-day period before that when things had been touch and go and she hadn't even known what planet she was on much less given a damn about what was going on around her. As she recovered tough, all those little things had started to get on her nerves. She knew that she was lucky to still be alive she was grateful for it, even, but she would give anything to be in her own home again.

She let out a loud long sigh as the nurse on duty took her vitals. She was sitting up in the bedside recliner with a walker in front of her. She was in more pain now than both times she had given birth combined.

"How's the pain right now, Rayna?" Karen was a short, older black nurse.

"I'm at an eight at least. The people from physical therapy were here about a half hour ago." Rayna groaned softly.

"That means it's closer to being off the chart." Karen consulted her chart. "Lucky you, it's time for another round of pain meds. These aren't as heavy duty as the ones we had you on before we got you up and mobile again. You can have these every two to four hours." She scanned the wristband on Rayna's arm and got her pain meds off the cart.

"I prefer these to the ones I was on before. Those made me think I was going crazy." Rayna tossed the pills in her mouth and swallowed them with a sip of a water.

"Different people react differently to those narcotics. Be thankful that they make you feel that way. You don't have to worry so much about getting hooked on them." Karen advised her.

"Right now, that's the last thing I need to worry about." Rayna closed her eyes trying to find some relief.

Deacon stood in the doorway for a moment and watched her to assure himself that she was still alive. He wanted to be sick every time he thought about how close they'd come to losing her. He'd known that there was something wrong with her when she told him that she'd been talking to her mom. It had been her body's way of telling her that something wasn't right. Thank God, he'd followed his instincts and kept on her doctor to run just one more test to make sure she was ok.

As it turned out the repair made to her pelvis hadn't held and bone marrow had been leaking into her bloodstream. She'd been rushed back into surgery and they'd spent the next few hours sitting her bed waiting to see if she would live or die. He'd never been so scared as he was while he held both his girls in what he thought was the final time they would ever spend with mother.

He shook his head and blinked his eyes rapidly to rid himself of those thoughts. She'd pulled through at the last second and now they had the rest of their lives together. It would just be awhile if ever before he got over that shock to his system.

"She givin' you any trouble, Karen?" He found his voice.

"She's an angel no matter how bad her mood is, you're the one who's trouble." Karen teased him. "Her vitals are good and the authority from the physical therapy people that she's doing well."

"I've heard that a time or two in my life." Deacon laughed softly. "That's what I wanna hear."

"It's true. He's not supposed to be here. I sent him home two hours ago with a promise that he'd sleep and see about our girls." Rayna glared at him.

"He's barely left your side since you've been here. I don't know why you expect anything else out of him." Karen reasoned with her.

"If I'm doing so well, when can I go home?" Rayna pouted. She really wanted to get back to her life.

Deacon and the nurse shared a look.

"What was that look about?" Rayna demanded.

"It's was nothin', babe." Deacon bent over and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm leaving you in charge, take care of her." Karen teased Deacon.

"I'll make sure that she doesn't stage any jailbreaks." Deacon assured her.

"Babe, I wanna go home, damn it." Rayna crossed her arms over her chest. The bruising and swelling on her face had started to fade.

"I know you do, and I want you home. Ray, we just came so close to losin' you. I don't wanna feel that way ever again. I ain't ever been so scared." Deacon took a shuddering breath. Thinking about it still brought him close to tears.

"I'm sorry, babe. You have been so strong for me and the girls. You don't know how much I appreciate that. You've given me some peace of mind. I know now that if something did happen to me you'd be able to take care of them." Rayna reached over and took his hand.

"Please, don't talk like that." Deacon squeezed her hand affectionately.

"How are the girls today?" Rayna missed being home with her daughters.

"Maddie is Maddie and I couldn't convince the little one to go to school today, so I didn't force it." Deacon replied.

"Hopefully, I can get out of here soon and get her back on schedule." She shifted uncomfortably in the chair.

His eyes flashed with concern. "What do you need, baby? You wanna try walkin' a little bit or you wanna get back in bed?" He jumped to his feet quickly. She was allowed, she was encouraged to get up and move around as much as she could stand.

"I'd like to get in bed until this pain pill kicks in. Then I will get up and try to walk a little bit." Rayna leaned forward in the chair and put her hands on the walker.

Deacon put his hand on the walker to keep in anchored. "Easy does it now, Ray." He encouraged her. He put his other hand other her arm to help steady her. She didn't really need his help she handled the walker fine. It made him feel better to help.

Rayna sat down on the edge of the bed. She let out a slight groan of pain when he helped her get her legs into bed. "Somehow I don't think that was as painful as it was this morning." She was trying to look on the bright side of things. Staying positive was the only thing that was going to get her out of there.

Deacon sat in the recliner with his arm thrown behind his head casually. His glasses were perched on his nose and he was looking at a magazine. He was doing his best to tune whatever daytime crap his wife was watching. He stole a glance at his phone. This show should be getting on the road any minute.

"Babe, how do you watch that?" He asked her.

"It sure as hell beats anything else around here." Rayna sighed heavily. She'd gone for a little walk earlier and now she was resting again before another bout of physical therapy.

"I know how to remedy that." Deacon pulled up one of the plastic chairs to her beside and picked up a deck of cards.

"You sure you wanna do that? I guess I could let you try to win a little of your dignity back." Rayna sat up with a smirk.

"Just remember who taught you to play poker. I may be lettin' you win 'cause I feel sorry for ya." Deacon teased her. He shuffled the deck of cards.

"Think whatever you have to, to feel better, sugar." Rayna laughed at him.

"It's your bet, Ray." Deacon observed a half an hour later.

Rayna studied her cards, but before she could decide she was distracted by a knock on the door. Her face lit up. "What in the world are ya'll doin' here?"

Tandy stood in the doorway flanked on either side by Maddie and Daphne. Scarlett stood behind the three of them. "I figured it was about time I came to see my baby sister. I can only trust that husband of yours to take care of you for so long." She walked over to the bed and hugged her gently.

"It's good to see you." Rayna held tight to her sister while her eyes teared up.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you. You don't ever get to scare me that badly again. This is two times now. I know that you're a lot like mom, but you don't want to be like her that way." Tandy had tears rolling down her face.

"I'm so sorry." Rayna started crying too

The two sisters cried together for a few minutes.

Rayna pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I'm so happy to see all of you. But what are you doin' here?"

Maddie sat on one side of the bed and Daphne laid next to her mother on the other.

"You noticed a look between me and Karen earlier. That was 'cause you're gettin' outta here today, babe." Deacon explained.

"Deacon, you better not be playing with me right now." Rayna's face lit up.

"He's not, I have your discharge papers right here." Karen walked into the room and held up a stack of papers.

"I wouldn't tease you 'bout this. That's why the four of 'em came up here. Scarlett is here to take my truck home. Tandy drove your car up here. This is the welcome home wagon train." Deacon smiled at her.

"How? I thought that arrangements had to be made?" Rayna was so confused.

"Everythin' is taken care of already. Tandy came in a couple days ago. We have physical therapy set up and she's there to sit with you if I have to go do somethin'." Deacon told her.

"What do you say, Rayna?" Karen asked her.

"I say get me outta here." Rayna said firmly.

"Come on, girls, let's take your momma's stuff out to the car, so she can get dressed." Scarlett waved for Maddie and Daphne to help her.

"Tell me that you thought to bring me clothes." Rayna begged her sister.

"Of course, I did." Tandy held up a small duffle bag.

"I will help keep her steady if ya'll wanna help her get dressed." Karen volunteered.

"Yeah, that'd be great." Deacon smiled.

An hour later Rayna was wheeled to the back entrance of the hospital to avoid the press. An orderly helped her into the back seat of her SUV. There was enough room for the girls to get in on either side of her. Maddie and Daphne each took one of their mother's hands.

"Home we go," Deacon announced as he pulled away from hospital.

"Where are Scarlett and Tandy?" Rayna gripped her daughters' hands tightly.

"They left earlier, so they could pick up your prescriptions. They will meet us at home." Deacon smiled at her in the rearview mirror.

"We are so glad that you are finally coming home, mom." Daphne cuddled into her mother's side.

"Yeah, mom," Maddie agreed.

"I've missed ya'll so much. I promise you that you're not as happy that I'm coming home as I am, though." Rayna kissed each of them on the head.

Deacon drove very carefully all the way home. He pulled up as close to the house as he could to make it easier for Rayna to get in. "Now, you wait a minute for me to get that walker for you." He jumped out and took the walker out of the trunk. He positioned it by the car door for her.

Rayna gingerly slid out of the car and steadied herself on the walker. "Oh," She hissed through her teeth.

"Sorry, baby," Deacon's face screwed up in sympathetic pain.

"I'm ok," Rayna assured him.

The girls opened the door while Deacon helped their mother make her way up the walk.

"Let me show you to your temporary room." Deacon led her to the den.

Tandy was in there putting the finishing touches on everything. "There you are, babe. Since you're not gonna be able to get up those stairs for a few more weeks we thought that we'd fix you up a bed in here."

"Ya'll really thought of everything." Rayna was touched at the gesture.

"We tried to anyway. If there's anythin' that you need that you don't have you let us know. Tandy and have temporarily joined forces as the co-captains of Team Rayna." Deacon kissed her tenderly after he helped her sit down on the bed.

"Right now, I'd really love a little while alone with the girls." Rayna brushed her thumb against his cheek.

"We can arrange that. Deacon and I will go see what to do about dinner." Tandy replied.

"Yeah, just yell if you need anythin'." Deacon and Tandy left the room together.

"Come sit," Rayna patted the bed on either side of her.

Maddie sat on one side and Daphne sat on the other. Rayna put an arm around each of them.

"I know that what just happened was very scary, but you two have been so brave. I want you to know that it's ok for you not to be ok, though." Rayna spoke to them gently.

"I'm fine, really, mom," Maddie shrugged off her mother's concern.

"I'm just glad you're better, mom." Daphne clung to her mother.

"I am here if either of you have anything that you need to talk about. I'm a little slow these days, but I'm here for you always." Rayna reassured them. She just held them close to her thankful that she was still able to do that.

"Ray, if you ain't ready for me to leave you I ain't gotta go tonight." Deacon was in the process of getting dressed to go to the CMT awards.

"Deacon, I'm fine, I've been home since yesterday. I'm settled in. My sister is here if I need anything. I want you and the girls to go and relax for a little while. The three of you have waited on me hand and foot. I've had to want for nothing. I promise you that I will still be here when you get back." Rayna gestured for him to bend down so she could kiss him.

Deacon kissed her deeply. "I can't help bein, worried, but if you want me to go I'll go."

"Deacon, just go, you're smothering me." Rayna smiled against his lips.

"I will see you later tonight." Deacon finally relented.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Tandy, how has Maddie seemed to you?" Rayna asked her sister. They were sitting on the couch together. She was worried about her oldest. She had the tendency to bottle things up just like Deacon.

"Maddie really hasn't said much. You know Maddie though she will let you know what she's thinking sooner or later." Tandy tried to reassure her.

"What worries me is how she'll express what she's feeling." Rayna mumbled.

"Relax," Tandy turned the tv to the CMT awards.

Rayna groaned when she saw the huge tribute they had to her. "They act like I died or something."

"I don't think you understand how close you did come to dying. Deacon called me at one point and he put the phone up to your ear so I could say goodbye. I really thought that I was going to have to come home for your funeral. You being you, though, you're too stubborn to go out on anything, but your terms." Tandy gave her a sad smile.

"I have a pretty good idea of how close I came to dying. I don't know if Deacon told you or not, but I saw mom and I swear I was talking to her." Rayna admitted.

"I didn't know that." Tandy gasped.

"Yeah, I think I knew then that something wasn't right. I honestly think she was coming to prepare me to die. Deacon pushed it with the doctor though. He fought for me." Rayna wiped a tear away.

Tandy wiped a tear away from her eye as well. She took her baby sister's hand and squeezed it. "Well, thank God, that he's as stubborn as he is."

"Look, there are Deacon and the girls." Rayna pointed them out in the front row of the Bridgestone.

"I never thought I'd say this, but you three are lucky to have him." Tandy could admit that Deacon had been nothing short of amazing since Rayna's accident. He was running himself ragged she was only there to pick up the crumbs he missed.

"That's what I've been telling you for years." Rayna laughed softly at the look that crossed her sister's face.

They watched the show in silence for a little while.

"What's Maddie doing on stage?" Rayna's jaw dropped.

"I have no idea." Tandy shrugged.

Rayna didn't bother to try to hide her tears as she watched her daughter sing the song she'd written so many years ago for Deacon. She only cried harder when Maddie finally broke down. "My poor baby,"

"Her daddy and her sister have her." Tandy put her arms around her sister. She gestured to where Deacon and Daphne joined Maddie on stage.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Maddie was surprised when Juliette sent for her backstage. She was even more surprised when she asked her to go on and sing her mother's song. She squinted in the glare of the harsh lights. She adjusted the monitors in her ears and waited for her cue.

"Turn the light off, go to bed. Tell me all about the day you had. Lay beside me it's time to rest. You can close your eyes you've done your best." Maddie closed her eyes as she sang. A pang of sorrow hit her in the chest. She finally realized how close she'd come to losing her mom.

"Let me be your sanctuary. Let me be your safe place to fall. I can take away your worries. The refuge from it all…" She started to sing the chorus and she broke down all the emotions that she'd been suppressing hit her at once.

Deacon took Daphne's hand and rushed on stage to put his arms around Maddie. He had been wondering how long it was going to take before she finally broke. She was just like him that way. She held it all inside until there was no place for it to go, but out.

"All this time we have together is our shelter from the rain. I will share the weight you carry. Let me be your sanctuary." Daphne finished for her sister.

Deacon gestured for a stagehand to bring him a mic.

"We have weathered through the storms. Taking comfort in each other's arms. When the dark clouds come again I will lift you up and take you in." They sang together.

"Let me be your sanctuary let me be your safe place to fall. I can take away your worries. The refuge from it all. All this time we have together is our shelter from the rain. I will share the weight you carry let me be your sanctuary. I will share this weight you carry. Let me be your sanctuary."

Rayna was in her room in the den when they made it home.

"Hey, babe, how you feelin'?" Deacon spoke softly from the doorway.

Rayna turned to look at him with dried tear tracks on her face. "I'm so, so sorry that I put ya'll through this."

Deacon sat beside her and held her gently. "It's ok, baby, it ain't your fault." He kissed all over her face and he finally planted a kiss on her lips.

"Can you send Maddie in? I need to talk to her." Rayna wiped the fresh tears and sat up on the side of the bed.

"Whatever you need, baby." Deacon gave her one last kiss. He went to fetch Maddie.

Maddie stood in the doorway silently.

Rayna just held her arms open to her.

Maddie burst into a fresh batch and tears and went right into her mother's arms.

"Shh, it's ok, baby girl. I'm still here. I've got you." Rayna made soft shushing sounds and rocked her gently.

A/N: Here is the first chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Until next time please review.