Hey ya'll, this is my first Southern Vampire Mystery's fanfic. I hope ya'll like it, please review, reviews make me happy. Also if you have any ideas or suggestions, I'd love to hear those as well.
I do not own any these characters, they belong to the wonderful Charlaine Harris.
My life was not my own, but now that I think about it, perhaps it never really had been. For so long I had lived trying to dispute my 'gift', to pretend that I was as normal as the next person but I don't think I ever really believed that. How could I when I knew the thoughts, the fantasies, the vile and most repulsive things in the heads of those around me? I was as far from being normal as anything can get and yet, having accepted such I feel more alienated than before.
The Fae War had ended, or so I was told – but too many had died as a result, and though I know I'm not really to blame for the majority of said deaths; I can't help but feel burdened by the knowledge of them (and perhaps secretly I do feel guilty, I do feel responsible). And it is the weight of this guilt that confines me to these walls I have crafted, metaphorically speaking. No one is allowed close, no one is allowed in – because I am afraid, afraid that if they get past these barriers I have set; I will loose them too, and I will be to blame.
And so I have pushed just as hard as I can, pushed those closest to me away and I have fought futilely to bar my heart to them; though it lays broken and bleeding, a shadow of what once was a beautiful heart, so full of kindness and hope. I am broken on the inside, just as much as I am broken on the outside, if not more. And I wonder sadly if I will ever feel whole again? Is it possible to overcome such loss? Do the nightmares ever fade; does the smell of death and hatred ever evaporate?
I hope more now than ever that it does, for night is falling and the creatures that go bump in the night will soon be stirring. I am no longer brave, no longer willing to face the boogiemen head on, and so I sit in this little country living room that so many of my ancestors have called home and I watch the darkness envelop the world, I watch the light slowly disappear until I can see nothing but shadows.
And the shadows move, or perhaps it is just my over active imagination, but they stir and dance and cause my heart rate to quicken, my face to flush. I can only close my eyes and take a deep breath to calm myself, but it had little effect on my nerves. And I can feel his eyes upon me, like a silent predator stalking its wounded prey and I can't help but to shudder (in fear, in delight?).
His voice is like the softest, finest silk and it enwraps me in its warmth and for just a moment, a fleeting and feeble moment I am safe; the world is not as horrendous as it seems. I am safe. But that feeling vanishes just as quickly as it came and I open my eyes to peer into the face of a man that is mine, though to what extent I am still not sure.
"Eric," I whisper, and like a flash he is at my side and I can't help but to lean into him, resting my head upon his shoulder and wrapping my arms about him. "I told you to stay away," I say, but my voice belies my words and I am thankful he has come to me.
"I have stayed away long enough, My Lover," he says and I can't help but to nod in agreement. I have dreamt of him more often than not and I have wanted him more than I am willing to admit because I am scared, I am unsure. What is real, what is fake – how do I know the difference? I think I love him, but is it because of the bond, or is because my heart has already chosen and I am just behind in acknowledging such? What more, does he love me, can he love me? I want to know and yet am too scared to ask, for the answer I may get could break me and so, instead I simply cling to this pillar of strength and hold tight to the feeling of safety that he offers.
"Are you ready to go?" He asks, stroking my hair softly, peering down at me with those intense blue eyes. I shudder and pull away, shaking my head as my gaze travels to the darkness outside the windows. "I can't," I respond, melting into myself again.
"You can't let your fears rule you, Sookie." His words are supposed to be heartfelt, I can tell and yet, I can't help but to choke a hysterical laugh in my throat. Have I not been repeatedly ruled by my fears? At every corner there was someone, something twisting my arm until I had no way to escape; I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of letting everyone else rule my life.
And just like that I nodded, smiling softly in an 'I am Woman, hear me roar' kind of a way. I'm a Stackhouse and us Stackhouse women are not cowards, we have more backbone than most men and I wasn't about ready to let it fail me just yet. "Where are we going?" I can't help but to ask, curiosity winning out over the need to keep from angering the Viking Vampire at my side.
"We have been requested to be in audience for the King tonight," His voice was steady, but it was clipped and I could tell he was unhappy and perhaps uncertain of the circumstances. But my vampire (whoa, did I just say 'my' vampire?!) with his blank face, simply gave me a brief pat on the rear end to hurry me along, waiting in a downtime state for me to be ready.
I knew casual, comfortable clothes were out of the question since we'd be seeing the King tonight, I however didn't want to look as though I was trying to doll myself up. A simple dress, blue in color with a white crème trim would suffice and a dash of makeup and loose hair. Simple and yet eloquent.
If I hadn't been watching carefully I might have missed the brief look of hunger in his eyes, or the way his lips twitched just a fraction as I entered the room. I smiled softly as I took his hand, letting him lead me out of the house. I searched for his car but saw nothing but my own car (a car Eric loathed and wouldn't be caught dead in, haha wait, he is dead). With a quizzical look in his direction and a question upon my lips we were off – soaring high into the night sky. It was beautiful, it was breathtaking and it ended too soon.
I sighed as my feet were lowered to the pavement, though I was quite happy that I repressed whining. I think Eric might have even chuckled, but I couldn't quite be sure. His hand reached for mine and instinctively my fingers curled around his. It was natural, it felt right even if the emotions swimming within me were confused and simply a wreck.
We walked into a very elegant home (more like a mansion); me smiling like an idiot at anyone we passed and Eric with his blank face and simple nods. It felt like we'd walked at least a mile before we paused outside a guarded door, the squeeze Eric gave my hand was warning enough but I only huffed slightly in response.
The doors were ushered open and we were allowed in, the room as beautiful and decorated with lovely French and Spanish accents here and there. Normally the combination would look odd, but here they seemed to work together peacefully. I would have continued to keep gazing and marveling at the room had Eric not stopped and cleared his throat. "We are honored to be in your presence this evening your Majesty," Eric said in his smooth silk voice and I nodded gently, that moronic smile still upon my lips.
"I wish I could say this visit I have called was of the personal kind, but it is business I am afraid;" said the King in a dull, yet authoritative voice. I shuddered visibly and squeezed Eric's hand that much tighter, I was almost ready to panic when I started feeling calm radiating through my body. I knew it was Eric sending reassuring signals through the bond, but still I was frazzled to say the least, Eric simply nodded, encouraging the King to continue. "There have already been two monarchs here to discuss Sookie, she is wanted and though I have made it clear that she belongs to the state of Louisanna, and more importantly she is bonded to you," he said, casting a look I couldn't quite distinguish towards Eric, "I am sure it is only a matter of time before someone attempts to kidnap her."
As much as I detest being spoken about like I am not present I knew good and well when to keep my mouth shut, and now was certainly one of those times. "Thank you for the warming, I will make sure to guard her more closely," Eric responded, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I notably relaxed at the touch and sighed softly. Eric made to turn us towards the door when I stiffened. "Attack!" I screamed, as Eric threw himself in front of me; the growing noise of violence nearing by the second.