A.N.: Ok...so I was looking through some of my notes on my iPod, and I found this little baby sitting all alone at the very bottom of the page. I figured since it was already written, all I would have to do is post it here! I hope you all enjoy this one-shot I wrote about three months ago which I never had the courage to post. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Team Fortress 2.
The heart can see what is invisible to the eye. For example, love is the embodiment of two people with one soul. The heart itself is able to recognize this emotion when its other half is reunited with its body. Although the heart may be able to detect this feeling, the brain however, cannot comprehend the true sensation of being joined together with a lost mate. That is why the eye is undisclosed to the idea of perfect happiness, for the brain doesn't understand the heart's emotional compassion for its significant other… However, the heart will not leave the brain in the darkness, for it sends signals through its movements. As a result, when we see our beloved other, our hearts beat faster, because it is trying to tell us something.
My mother advocated this theory.
I believed in love at first sight because of this statement, and in consequence, I was convinced that I would never fall in love, losing hope year after year as I grew older… All of that changed however, when I met a man at the tender age of twenty-one.
I remembered it all as if it were yesterday, memories flashing in a blur as I reminisced over the past. He was slightly older than I, being twenty-three, respectively. I was working as a maid in a facility known to few as Mann Corporation, a top-secret organization that was soon brought to justice many years after I left the crew. My family was in need of money, and we couldn't afford to pay for college, so I accepted the job as head cook for a group of nine mercenaries.
It was a complicated system. One so complicated that I still don't understand how and why it worked. Each of the nine men specialized in killing, spending everyday training to kill their equal opposite on another team. I was assigned to the RED team to cook for the men and clean up their base, which according to my past employer, was not as sanitary or safe as the BLU area. I did not mind though, because I got the chance to meet him.
He loved bragging and boasting about his achievements, cursing obscenities, and acting obnoxiously toward his teammates and others. Many would wonder how such a young man like him could have such a large ego, and more importantly, why I would fall for him. But I knew, when he first called me "doll face", right then and there, he was the one. My heart would beat faster, and my palms would moisten with sweat. My throat would close as I tried to answer his questions, and my body would tremble with every light touch, whether it be a pat on the back, or a tap on the shoulder.
My heart was sending me the signals.
I felt as if my heart may had been malfunctioning, because how could a man who seemed to be the complete opposite of me, not only physically, but mentally, socially, and emotionally; be my significant other? He was rude and loud; I was shy and quiet. He was rough and tough; I was weak and tiny. The list continued on just as I explained, confusing me even today on how fate liked to play tricks on people like myself...
Although he would act rebellious and heroic in front of the other men, he would save his kind and soft side for me, the young and new cook from a small town in Oregon. He would listen to me tell stories about my family, and in return, I would listen to him talk about his love for baseball and his older brothers. At first everything seemed innocent, but eventually, that all changed. One day he walked up to me, and did one of the most courageous things I had ever seen someone do.
His tanned face was cloaked with a deep shade of red. He would tug at the hem of his shirt nervously, complaining quietly to himself about how he wasn't used to feeling nervous. He would fiddle with the bandages on his wrists as he awkwardly mumbled his greetings, making me worry over why he wasn't acting like his loud self. Anxiously, he walked up to me, towering over my body with his own. He removed the headset and cap from his head, revealing light brown strands of short hair. Soon after, the feeling of warmth spread throughout my body; all the way to my fingertips as he leaned down, and kissed me lightly against the lips. I specifically remembered the feeling of his mouth caressing my own… His lips were dry and cracked from the sun, but I didn't care, because his emotions were enough to satisfy me time and time again.
It takes strength to admit your love to someone in your mind, but it takes courage to show it with actions and words.
After our moment together, we became close… So close that no one would ever see us not with one another. We spent every waking moment together, even in the shower, but that's another story to tell… He became less arrogant, and in return, I became more open to others. He changed me in a good way, helping me understand the world with a clearer view. I felt as if I were blind and deaf before, and I was just given my senses…
We weren't the perfect couple. I would have to get on him for his rudeness...not to mention his constant want for a woman's presence. Even when I was gone I knew what he was doing with the other women there, and boy, did it make my blood boil. I separated from him eventually after many years of bickering, believing that I would be happier if I just left. Now that I had more than enough money to pay for college, I could finally work on my degree with no worries… So with that notion, I quit my job and went home, my thoughts centering around a certain boy in New Mexico.
I felt miserable...always asking myself questions, expecting the answer to just come flying through the door. I wondered why he even bothered with me when he already had so many other girls who worked for RED wrapped around his little finger.
My mother said the reason why he acted so nervous around me and not the other girls was because his heart was reacting in a way it never had before…
But I brushed her off… She wasn't right before, so why would she be now?
I felt abandoned even though I was the one who left him… Suddenly, all of my good memories seemed to overpower the bad ones with ease. I was so confused and tired of it all...
But one day, he came for me.
Proclaiming his love for me in front of my family, he explained how he quit his job as well, and talked about how we could just drop everything... "Ride off into the sunset", was how he put it… It all sounded so wonderful, but I just couldn't accept his offer. He was a player, and I was tired of playing his game. He left me without another word, which surprised me because of how stubborn and hot-headed he used to be when it came to getting what he wanted.
I never saw him again, nor did I ever fall in love again either…
I now spend my days wondering what would had happened if we stayed together. My heart has been aching...signalling...constantly reminding me of my decision.
I loved him. I just didn't have the audacity to say yes. I wasn't angry about his affairs now that I think about it... I was afraid. Everyday, a wave of regret would rush through me, churning my insides and giving me painful migraines. The "What if?" game played in my mind as I thought of the possible scenarios of what could have happened, but never will.
Surely, he had found another girl by now. Possibly cheating on her right at this moment, but I supposed none of that was my business nor my concern, for that was twenty years ago… Heck, he could be dead for all I knew.
I guessed that this would be the end.
But I know that's not true. It will never end.
Even now, my heart still quickens at the thought of him, informing my brain of the mistake it had made.
If only I had listened…
A.N.: Leave a little review telling me how you think it was! Afterwards, you should go check out my story "Wherever We Go" which includes a lovely Sniper pair (MxF). Have a nice day!