Our Keeper's Keeper
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or any of the stuff from it.
Notes: I booted up FFRK for the first time in over a year yesterday, and I had this story play out in my head while I was looking at all the new features. It's high time I did this.
PIECE START!
"AHHHHHH!"
Cid Highwind woke up in a cold sweat, drenched from head to toe. He sat up immediately, forcing himself out of bed. He was standing in his dorm room provided by the Corneria University, just darker than usual as it was before sunrise. Same standard issue room given to all the other heroes saved from all across the Realms of Fantasy. He walked over to his mirror, looking at his body. How long had he been sleeping? It felt like literal eons. Years worth of time, a whole other life had taken place within his dream. His stubble hadn't turned into a beard, somehow. He was the type that needed to shave at least every other day. Had he been asleep for only one night?
There was a knock at his door. "Mr. Cid?"
He pulled on a tanktop before opening the door a little to stick his head out there. He found the young man who had been learning the ways of the keeper from his daughter standing there with a very concerned expression on his face. "You don't have to call me mister, Einar," Cid said.
"Sorry," Einar said a little bashfully. "I just heard a scream from your dorm, and-"
"Oh, yeah, sorry about that," Cid said, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to wake you... Wait a minute. Keeper living quarters are on the other side of the campus. What are you doing over here this early in the mornin'?"
"There's a lot going on right now. I can't sleep," Einar confessed to him. "To be honest, I'm afraid to sleep."
"Afraid to sleep? Come on, kid," Cid grunted. "How many times have we told you that to do your duty as a keeper, you absolutely have to take care of your body. That includes sleeping." He let out a sigh. "Give me a minute to get dressed, would ya?"
"Sure."
Cid flipped on the switch to turn on his lamp and grabbed the clothes he was most well known for wearing. He strapped his goggles to his head, tied the white pilot's scarf around his neck, belted up his standard issue ShinRa military trousers that had been worn in by his years of wearing them so that they fit his lower body more comfortably than anything else, pulled the bootstraps taunt onto his feet, fastened on his materia bangles, and stuffed his favorite brand of Lady Luck brand cigarettes into his goggle strap before he was ready to step out. It took him a total of two minutes before he was ready to head out, as he was trained to be ready quickly for many missions over the course of his thirty-five year life. He gave a little salute to the kid before he locked his door, stuffing the key into his denim jacket pocket.
"You get ready fast."
"No one's ever waited around for my ass to get ready to go," Cid said. "C'mon. I need coffee if I'm going to ever get anything done today. Caffeine is the greatest status effect I could have cast on me right now." He let out a yawn. "...so, what's troublin' you, kid?"
"After I got back from my mission yesterday, I ran into Canti and Minwu," Einar said. "I didn't get the jist of their conversation, but I noticed that she was crying. She was a blubbery, teary mess. I realize that's not uncommon for her. But this wasn't her normal crying. It was a desperate sob. She was hurting."
"She's not taken some things very well," Cid said. "I know she's sad, but she's the type to bounce back from it. Always has been. It's one of her more admirable traits."
"Minwu wasn't comforting her at all. Something about it gave me a bad vibe," Einar continued. "I can't get it out of my head that she's gonna do something-"
"...what kind of something are you talkin' about?"
Einar closed his eyes. "I know it's against the rules for me to talk about a lot about the laws of the Keepers to you who come from within the flow of time, and I know that I could lose the license I've been working myself to the bone to finally get, but..." the young man began to shake as he turned to look up at Cid. Tears began to slide down his cheeks. "...because of the nature of the job the keepers do, some of them fall mentally and emotionally. Many keepers have been erased from existence, from memory. Those who succumb, they can apply for it."
"...what?" Cid didn't believe what he was hearing.
"You, Minwu, someone has to stop her before she decides to apply to be erased! Because if she does that, not only will she cease to exist, but no one will remember her."
"That's..." Cid took in a deep breath. Einar watched as that usually gruff but cheerful face slowly fade into an apprehensive face, unable to process what he'd just heard. "...oh hell..." he muttered, turning away from the direction of the university cafeteria and rushing towards the keepers' quarters as fast as he could run. He jumped over a few passerby here and there, including students who woke up earlier than most and some who had been up all night and were finally taking breaks from their studying. Eventually, he came to his daughter's dorm room. He didn't care what the situation was like in there, he was going to get confirmation that she was all right before the scenario from his nightmare was going to take place before his eyes. He knocked on the door.
No answer.
"Cantirena Highwind, you step out here this instant," he said, using that fatherly tone of his.
Still no answer.
Cid was going to knock again, but when he put his hand on the doorknob, it turned easily. It wasn't even locked. Knowing that she was the type to do all sorts of things against the rules set by the university, this surprised him. The door opened, revealing her room was just as dark as his. He flipped the switch near her door to turn on her light fixture, only to see that she was collapsed on the floor on her side. He fully expected to see a naked Minwu or Balthier, but she was the only one in the room.
"Canti?" he asked as he kneeled down next to her. "Baby girl?" He lifted her curly bangs out of her eyes to see they were half open, but it was like the color from her eyes had faded away entirely. "Hey..."
She didn't even respond to him being there.
Cid shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked, turning her so that she wasn't all flopped over with so much pressure on one side of her body. "You're the clumsiest dragoon I've ever met. Did you fall and hit yourself again? I thought you had enough common sense to know not to try to do the Jump technique in your own dorm room. At least train that in a place that doesn't have a ceiling."
"Papa..."
"Yes?"
"Why did you... Come here?"
"You wouldn't believe it... I had a nightmare that the world was on the verge of ending because you'd gone and taken your own life, and turns out, your little protege was just as worried about you as I was," Cid replied. "Maybe hanging around Minwu too long has given me a little bit of that Seer ability he's always talkin' about." He sighed. "I had to check on you, make sure you're okay."
"Minwu didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what, baby girl?"
"Yesterday, I applied to be erased," she answered truthfully. "I know, it hurts to hear that. But the pain, it won't last. You don't have to worry."
Cid shook his head. "No. You aren't going to be erased. You're going to get through this slump, and you're going to come out better and stronger for it," he said, feeling his eyes burn with tears. "...because I know you. You've overcome pain, unimaginable by most people, and you're still here. You've come so far, why throw it away now?"
"I'm nothing more than a failure."
"That's just simply not true. You saved us, all of us who are on your team. That's why we stick by you. No one else could have fought off those Ardent controlled assholes at the top of my rocket back home the way you did. In the rain, no less." He ran his fingers through her hair. "You don't have to do this..."
"I broke the flow of time the way it was supposed to go, Papa Cid. This is my punishment for it."
"Death isn't a punishment, sweetheart. It's lettin' you get off without having to own up to what you did," Cid said sternly. "Come on, let's get you up." He tried to motion for her to follow, but she simply wasn't going to. "Bah!" he shouted, forcing her to her feet. When she was about to just flop over, he caught her and held her up against his chest. "Hell, I can't believe those boys that are always sweet on you aren't in here trying to convince you by fucking the will to live into you."
"...you think Balthier didn't try that all ready?"
"So you don't only need to eat, you need a bath. Duly noted."
"No, Papa Cid," Canti pulled away from him, supporting her own weight easily. "He offered to go that route, and I offered to castrate him with the blunt side of an airship propeller."
"While I'm glad you've finally gained your senses and told that no-good pretty boy off since obviously you don't want to be with someone so flighty he can't stay true to you," Cid said, "I'm more concerned about the fact that you're not quite acting like yourself. Usually you'd jump his sexy bones. And while I want what's best for you, I also want you to be happy. Riding him like a Golden Chocobo seemed to be one of the things that did that for you."
"It wasn't... Real," Canti confessed to him. "I was young and confused and really fucking stupid."
"I'm still there," Cid laughed, though the laugh felt extremely out of place once he wasn't laughing anymore. "Sorry. That's wasn't right of me."
"Papa Cid, I'm glad I got to know you," she said. "Being your daughter was the best part of my life."
"It's not over yet," Cid pleaded with her. "At least, it doesn't have to be."
"You gave me so much. Even your own family name so I could finally have one, too."
"Because you're worthy of being my successor. You're worthy of continuing the line of great dragoons," he said as he watched her pull some clothes from her closet. When she started to change into them, he took a few steps away and turned around. "You're an aeronautics expert, even understanding things that I don't. You are a Highwind in spirit, even if your blood is different."
"By all accounts, I shouldn't exist at all. I was supposed to die when I was very young."
"And you want to throw away the gift of having defied your fate?" Cid asked. "Normal you would be standing up at the highest peak in all existence, flipping the universe off and telling it to try harder."
"The man I loved originally, I pushed him away. I didn't even realize what I was doing until he was all ready gone, and now he's moved on entirely," Canti continued. "My living has made life worse for all that's been involved with me, and that includes you, Papa Cid."
"Who gave you the right to decide if my life is worse with you in it?" Cid snapped at her, turning around when he saw that she was dressed. "It's my life, and I get to decide who or what's made it better or worse!"
"...I'm not going to argue with you. I've made up my mind." She said, taking a deep breath. "I want to die in your arms. I want my last moments to be as nothing more than just your daughter."
"Have you not been listening to me?!"
"I have. You just haven't changed how I feel about the whole situation. Once this is over, you can go home to Shera."
"And that small town full of hicks that just came to see the spectacle of a failed dreamer just rot to death in the cockpit of a rocket that will never launch again?!" Cid yelled. "Canti, by saving me and having me join you, I found life, I found purpose. I got to see so many different worlds, see new and different kinds of machinery, technology, science beyond anything my world will understand for centuries. I learned my heart isn't dead simply because my daughter passed on, because I can love another who needs it, and right now, baby girl, you need it. You need it more than you ever have." He tried to hug around her, but she moved away from him. "What will it take to change your mind about this? What will it take for me to get you to understand how much you're loved and needed?!"
"I won't be, once my memory fades from everyone else's."
Cid really didn't know what else to say to her. He didn't want her to walk out of that room because he had no idea if she was going to report for it immediately. He had no idea what she planned to do, and it scared him more than ever facing down Safer Sephiroth ever could.
"It will not happen without you present, Papa Cid," she said calmly, heading over to her door. "Because I have made my final wish known. To give the one being erased their final wish is a sacred tradition that the Eidolons will not ignore."
"Then I'm not goin'."
"...you'll be there, one way or another." She stepped out the door.
Cid had to think of something. There had to be some way to stop this. Someone that could snap her out of this. He decided to approach his teammates as soon as possible.
...
Balthier had been sitting at the bar on the edge of the university campus, avoiding being anywhere near where his teammates would be at this time. He didn't care what Barkeep served him, as long as it was hard, and he could get wasted enough to go through everything. When it was all over, all he'd remember was a drinking binge that gave him the worst hangover he'd ever had.
"Is this really the time to be drownin' your sorrows?" Cid's voice asked from behind him.
"...this is the only way I could think of dealing with all this in the most painless way possible," he snapped, with a redness having streaked across his face. The sky pirate was all ready pretty damn drunk.
"Still sore she didn't choose you?"
"Bah. I always knew! The way she looked at Kain, how could I not?!" he scoffed. "...but since he never made a move and I did, she let me in. Go figure."
Cid walked up to the bar. "I need your help, damn pretty boy."
"You want me to stop her from going through with her decision?" Balthier asked, taking another shot. He relished in the burning sensation down his throat for the moment. "She won't listen to me. She fucked me, she left me wanting to steal the very moon to give to her... And all I got... Were eyes that stared at another."
"You were her second in command for missions! She trusted you, she stood by you... She saved you from being devoured by the Ardent! Doesn't that mean anything?!"
"Cid. You were our team's dad. You gave me fatherly advice when no one else was around to..." he said. "And for that, I'll always remember you fondly. But right now, if I could avoid speaking with anyone bearing the family name of Highwind. All of you are intolerable."
Cid grunted, turning to leave the bar. He hadn't been this annoyed with the dashing sky pirate in a long time. Where were the rest of the team?
...
Cid managed to track down Vanille, who had been staying by Fang's side since the Halloween event started. He tried to stop her from collecting candies with Selphie and Relm, but Fang wouldn't let him get too close. She knew he was going to try to pull her away from having fun to deal with the drama involving his daughter, and she wasn't going to let him bother her. Cid tried to reason with Fang, as Vanille was a vital part of the team for so long, so maybe she could offer assistance. One time he got a good glimpse of the pink haired girl's face, he noticed that she was fighting off tears. She was coping emotionally the only way she knew how. Another way that Vanille and Canti were so similar...
He gave a sigh and decided to try to reach out to another teammate. He didn't want to overburden Vanille, after all. But when he had made it across the main plaza, towards the library door, he felt a pair of hands grab onto one of his, stopping him in place. When he turned his head, he saw that Vanille was there.
"I'm sorry," she said, bowing her head. "Fang couldn't handle how I was when I told her the news and she didn't want it to get worse..."
"You have to be able to convince Canti not to go through with this..." he begged her.
Vanille looked up at him, cocking her head to the side. "I believe she's doing this because she believes it's the best for all of us. They say that after they... Go, we don't remember them. All the pain that came because of the rejection of all the suitors she's had. She doesn't want them to hurt anymore."
"That's not her problem if guys hurt after she refuses them!" Cid said.
"She blames herself for what they're going through. All of them."
"But this is suicide-"
"No... It's sacrifice. To give one's life for the greater good, especially for those you love." Vanille gripped his hand tight within both of hers for a moment before she let it go. "You have to think. She wants you to be able to go home to your rocket and your love. She knows that Balthier's never had a legitimate romantic connection, and she denied him that. She knows that Kain ached from one love out of his reach, and she just became another for him. She needs Minwu to have his soul be free of his burden with her. She knows there are keepers that she's used for her own gain. Canti only wants to free them of the pain she's caused them, is all," She gave a shrug before starting to turn around. "To erase all the pain in those I love, that I've caused? ...I'd do it, too."
Before Cid could say anything else, Vanille walked away. He tried to put it in perspective, but the truth is, she had done nothing but make his life better. Even if he was the only one... No, he was certain that even if she did hurt all of them, she gave them something positive with it. And without a doubt, the positive outweighed the negative. There had to be someone else who believed this!
He started to head to the library, knowing full well that when Minwu was confronted with emotionally overbearing moments, he would bury his nose in complicated books so he wouldn't feel anything.
,,,
Cid walked into the office that Minwu and Canti had used for white magic study many times previously. Minwu was fusing magical stones to create new magical spells. He watched the man work expertly. It was a technique Minwu had learned by watching his protege. Giant holy orbs floated around the center of the table, and using just enough magical pressure, the white mage was able to cause them to fuse into a round ball that contained the materia for Diaga. It glowed with a hot redness in its center, but had a shimmering nature towards the outer surface. Once it was done, Minwu placed it into a box and fetched more orbs to fuse from another.
"Are you going to just hide in here?" Cid asked, crossing his arms.
"I've nothing to hide from," Minwu said.
"Bullshit. The woman you proposed to decided to have herself erased from the memory of existence, and you're sitting here on your ass, not trying to stop her." The old pilot couldn't believe he was saying this about Minwu of all people. He hadn't been this disappointed with Minwu, ever. Always he had kept Canti's best interests at heart, and Cid was quite convinced for a while that the man sitting there with his back to him was going to be his son-in-law.
"I don't have the right to stop her from doing it," Minwu said sincerely.
"What the fuck does that even mean?! You... You don't love her?"
"I do cherish your daughter. As a student, a companion, and yes, even a lover," Minwu replied. "But if she makes a decision to end her life, that is her decision. I cannot take away her right to take her own life. As we have a right to life, we also have a right to death. If she was fighting for her life, and she wanted to live, then I would do all in my power to support her. I will always, always support whatever she wishes. Be it a life at my side, or simple nonexistence. I love her that much."
Cid couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What you're doing isn't love!" he yelled. "Allowing someone you cherish to take their own life isn't love! You aren't worthy of marrying my daughter!"
"Besides, Cid, you know that I'm not the one she truly loves," Minwu said, finally turning around to address him. "Just like Balthier wasn't. Canti's never been able to understand how love actually works, but now that she does, she realizes just what she's done to all of... Us..." He walked up to Cid, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Even if I were to not support her in this, she would not listen to me."
"Minwu... I don't know how to accept this. I can't accept it! I adopted her! I can't just let her-"
"...even if I must stand by the decision she makes regardless of what it is," Minwu whispered suddenly. "In my heart, I pray that you succeed in finding exactly what it is that motivates her to fight through her pain. Please, Cid. I beg you to find out what that is before it is too late."
"I've been going to everyone that's fought on our team to ask them the same thing I'm asking you, and..." Cid wiped his eyes. "...I'm going to lose my second daughter..."
Minwu closed his eyes and turned away. "...do what I cannot. You do not have time to cry."
"No, you're right..." Cid turned to leave the office, letting the door close on its own.
The white mage sat back down, wanting to go back to fusing the orbs, but he couldn't see them very well. His eyes had become full with tears. "Cantirena," he whispered gently, knowing that the time for the procedure to erase her was going to take place soon. He put his hands up to his head and concentrated his energy to cast a sleeping spell on himself. As his mind faded away, he wondered if he would wake up remembering the woman who saved him from the Ardent or not. He wondered if he would still be sad, or if he would part ways with the rest of the team Canti had assembled without knowing why. "...forgive me."
...
Cid was in a panic. What was he going to do? He left the library in a huff, trying to keep his composure even though the time was coming so soon that he didn't know how to control his anxiety. He reached up to his goggles to pull out a cigarette, just wanting to calm his nerves for a split second. As he wandered the main plaza, he looked around. Trying to see if he could find someone else around that could help with this. At least give him an idea. Most keepers kept their distance from her. And the friends that he could remember were all out on missions outside of the university right now, which was probably on purpose.
"Cid?"
Cid turned a bit to see Kain Highwind standing there, clad in light blue armor. It was much more shiny that he could remember it being. But now, he could see the face of the young man that once hid behind his dragon helmet. The bright blue eyes of the Highwind family were fully visible, and his long blonde hair was all pulled up in a ponytail. "Kain?" he gasped. "Well now, look at yourself! You're so damn pretty, even the men will want you! Where was this back when you were in the party?"
"Oh, you," Kain laughed a little. "So. Why are you looking around as if you've lost something important?"
"I'm... About to lose something important," Cid replied. "And I have no idea what to do about it."
"Did you have a fight with Canti? Because the last time that happened, you two made up. She loves you more than I think she's ever loved anyone... If there's anyone in all the realms she will forgive for anything said or done, it's you."
"...Kain, I know you're with another party right now, and I know you and Canti have had your spats in the past, but..."
Kain tensed up. "...Did something happen to her?"
Cid nodded. "I really wish I understood what it was that drove her to want to erase herself, so I could convince her not to go through with it."
"Erase..." Kain's eyes widened. "...you mean that process where keepers apply to no longer exist."
"That exact one."
"Where is that sky pirate?" Kain asked. "And what of that overprotective white mage that had never left her side since the day we recovered him?"
"One's drowning his sorrows in the bar on the edge of the university, and one is working himself so hard to prevent himself from feeling anything because he has vowed to always go along with her decisions no matter how bad they are for her," Cid answered flatly, flicking some of the ashes from his cigarette. "They're convinced they can't stop her."
"They made her happy and protected her. I- I thought that they loved her enough to-"
Cid sighed, staring down at his boots. "Minwu proposed to Canti while we were out on a mission and she took it all kinds of wrong," he muttered. "She lost her damn mind over it. And I can't find the person or the reason to set her straight. Now she's applied to be erased from existence! That's... Vanille sees it as a sacrifice, but I can't see it as anything but suicide."
"I will run my spear through their hearts for betraying her this way," Kain said angrily, quietly enough that no one but Cid could hear him. "But first, there are more important things to do."
Cid didn't know what to make of that comment. He'd been staring at his feet so long, he was a bit dizzy. When he looked up to ask Kain what he intended to do, the younger dragoon had all ready taken off. He cracked a grin, feeling a trail on the wind, hoping that by the day was over, he'd still remember his daughter and would be able to help her cope with all the pain she'd been going through here lately.
...
Canti sat in one of the university administration's offices, staring off into space. She knew that it wouldn't hurt to be erased. She was thankful that she wouldn't leave those she cared about in pain, either. It was a simple process. Just to lay her head on Papa Cid's lap, fall asleep, and simply no longer exist. They would all be able to go back to their home realms with no worries about her, too.
One of the masked administrators approached her. "We have sent out our men to search for Cid Highwind and bring him here. Forgive us if this may take time," he said. "We do not mean to prolong your suffering."
"I do not suffer to wait for my Papa," she said. "I do not wish to go through with this without him."
"We will not go against your final wishes. You've done so much for us that we owe you that at the very least," the masked man continued. "We need your final moments to be peaceful."
"You have my gratitude."
"...would there be a reason as to why he would not come to see you set free?"
"He doesn't want me to do it. He wants me to stay and work through everything," she answered him. "He wants me to rise above it, the way any real dragoon would."
"I see. It is he who prolongs your suffering. We will bring him."
"Don't... Don't hurt him," she said, feeling tears form in her eyes. "I love him so dearly."
"No harm will come to him. He is a hero of the Seventh Realm, and it would go against the preservation of the records to harm a hero."
"Understood."
The masked man walked away, leaving her alone where she sat. She wiped her eyes. She wasn't afraid of what was to befall her, but knowing that she was putting her adopted father through so much mental anguish weighed on her that much more. It just solidified the fact that she felt like she needed to do this. She needed for her father to no longer carry her emotional baggage with him. It was too much to worry about.
"I can't believe you'd go this far..."
Canti looked around upon hearing that voice. She was sure that she was hearing it in her head. Heroes were not allowed this far into the university's core. There were some things that were not for them to know about the way life was handled beyond the flow of time. "...to tell the truth, I didn't expect to hear your voice right now," she said, "Kain."
Kain landed right next to her. "Because all the voices of reason seem to have left you to your own devices."
"You should do the same. If you're found here, they'll-"
"Punish me? I doubt that. Those masked fellows would not bring upon a Hero of the Realms something as severe as capital punishment," Kain scoffed. "You may not wish to listen to me, and that's fine. I can live with that. But for you not to listen to the words of your own adopted father, Canti, you only make me sad."
"I'm doing this for his own good," Canti said. "Yours, too. I hurt you both. I took you away from-"
"No!" he said sternly, using both of his hands to grab her shoulders. "You saved me! You may have made things difficult for me at times... I won't hesitate to admit there were times where I severely disliked you and your antics. But this? Turning to death instead of facing your own pains?" He shook his head. "I thought you stronger than this."
"I'm not strong, Kain."
"You tell yourself that, but I know and the rest of the team know that it's simply not true."
"Everyone says that, but how many times have you had to visit me in the infirmary?"
"You are cocky and arrogant to the point of getting yourself hurt, and yet, there are those who have stood by you despite that," Kain explained. "All the support you've had through the times you've had with us should prove beyond a shadow of a doubt how much you are loved and cared for."
"You've wasted it on me..."
He frowned. "What's gotten into you? No wonder Cid is so concerned. You've had your bouts of depression, but this is particularly intense..." Kain wrapped his arms around her shoulders instead of holding onto them, grasping her to him. "...but even so... I'll be here to hold you through it all."
"Kain..."
"I understand what you're going through," he whispered. "I refuse to allow another to suffer alone as I did. No matter how troublesome she can be when she's at her best, she certainly does not deserve to ache alone."
Canti grasped around him as tight as she could, letting out a loud wail.
"Take as long as you need," he whispered again.
I will never abandon you, Kain thought, nuzzling against her gently as she continued to cry against him. Give me all of your sorrows and despair. I will shoulder them for you.
At that moment, a few masked men who ran the administration had brought Cid. Based on the marks around different places, it had been by force. Cid was relieved to see Kain there with Canti, but believed that he had been too late. He was going to lose her despite all his trying not to.
"You do not have the approval to be back here."
"I care not," Kain grumbled at them. "Cid... Do as your daughter asked of you and allow her to have a moment with you before she rests. Please."
"Not you, too..." Cid said hopelessly. The look in his eyes made Kain feel the deepest shame for having said that. "...no..."
Kain let Canti go, and she wiped her face. One last moment of release. It seemed natural to the masked men. They had seen plenty of tearful goodbyes. This was nothing new. They led her down a hall and offered to allow Kain to come in since he was all ready here anyway. He accepted that invitation, following both Canti and Cid to a plain room with nothing but a bed and a peculiar stand that held a very ornate book within a glass case.
"The keeper's final wish is to fall asleep on her adopted father's lap and to vanish once she has achieved dream-state," one masked man said. "If you would, please."
Cid didn't want to climb upon that bed. He refused to take a single step, but he was forced to by the masked men. He sat there, watching as she followed him, only to lay her head on one of his legs.
"Papa Cid..." she whispered. "...thank you..."
He didn't know what to say to her. The silence was killing him and made every moment feel like a separate eternity in his own personal hell. Cid wanted to beg her again to reconsider. His heart beat was so loud that he couldn't even hear his own thoughts, which were a scrambled mess that wouldn't have made any sense whatsoever if he could manage to get them out. He was reminded of how he held his first daughter's dead body in his arms after she had died only months after being born and the despair he never thought he'd ever overcome due to that. Cindy was gone and he was watching his second chance at being a father - his last chance at being a father - fade away from him.
Canti's eyes closed slowly. Her mind fell into the dark abyss that was sleep and her mind sparked with the electricity of dreams. She managed to fall into the deepest state of sleep with minimal effort.
"Now," the masked man said, approaching the book in the glass case. "It is time."
Kain stepped in between the case and the masked man. "No. I propose a different solution," he said sternly. "If you will hear me out."
"The keeper has applied to be erased. Allow her to have her final rest."
"There are far more who are applying right now for this not to happen," Kain said. "I am one of them. Her father is, too. I could go around this entire campus and find more people who want Canti to live than ones who would want her to die." He stood defensively in front of the book as if he would fight every one of them off if he had to. "There are more who will follow in the wake of such despair, until eventually you have no keepers left to defend your trite rituals and other utter nonsense."
"...What do you propose?" the masked man asked.
"I say we delete the memories that are driving her to this point," Kain suggested. "That way we keep our friend, you keep a talented keeper, and everyone can move on from this."
"...I suppose that is possible. Dangerous, but possible."
"Then maybe we shouldn't just go for the nuclear option every time a keeper feels like they're too overwhelmed to keep going," Cid said. "To just erase them seems... harsh."
"It is so no one who remembers them will miss them once they pass. That is what this ritual is for."
"But what if that person was doing good in another's life?" Kain asked. "Think about it. Canti is a mentor to one of the trainees. If he forgets her, then fine, he'll find another mentor, but what if she was motivating him in a way that none of his other mentors could? He'd not be reaching his maximum potential. Her trainee could really need the way she mentors him. He could be driven to despair because he'd be missing something in his life, and then he feels empty inside because he would never be able to know exactly what that something is." He looked over at her, sleeping so soundly. "I want to remember the woman who saved my life when the Ardent threatened to swallow me whole. I want to remember the adventures we had together. How she forced me to carry her on my shoulders and how she learned how to fight like a dragoon from me. I want to remember how I..." he bit his lip. "...how I..." Suddenly he stopped himself, knowing full well how that would go. "So. Find out what memories are causing this and erase those."
The masked man approached the case, opening it to reveal the book. He flipped through the pages one by one. Kain and Cid waited to hear what the reasons for all this would be. "This book is a physical representation of Keeper Cantirena," he said. "If it is destroyed, so is she. Every detail about her life and feelings are written in here."
"So you should be able to find what it is easily," Cid said.
"...people who have moved on," the masked man read out. "There's a whole section here of people that..."
Kain reached over to the book and ripped out several pages at once, shredding them in his hands and causing the tiny little pieces to fall to his feet. "What else?"
Shocked at that sudden action, the masked man continued to look through the book. "...forgive me, I should not..." he said. "This is... About you, Sir Kain Highwind."
"What about me?" he asked.
"She loves you. She always has."
"But... All of those fights and- The Heartsglow Ball, not to mention Mount Ordeals and-"
The masked man read from the book and spoke slowly, "You came here to stop her and when she cried in your arms, she wanted to thank you... Right now, she's dreaming of the romance she never got to share with you."
Kain felt tears form in his eyes. "What?" he asked in disbelief.
"Should we take that memory out, too?"
"...that isn't what's hurting her," Cid said. "That's what's going to save her."
Kain walked over to that bed, sitting down on one side. He reached over to run his hand through her hair. "I'll always be here," he said. "And I'll always understand. It's hard to explain what this is like to someone that's never been through it. This darkness of the mind. I wanted to die at one point myself because of the pain I caused people I cared about." He looked over at the masked men. "Allow me to look after her. I promise she won't ever come to you looking for this way out again."
"Very well. Know that if anything happens like this again, you will be reprimanded severely for interfering in one of our most sacred traditions," the masked man said. "You may take her to her dormitory."
Cid had never released a sigh of relief as poignant as the one he let go right that very moment. Kain picked her up into his arms to carry her out of there, with Cid following him. He'd never been more thankful in his life for Kain's presence! "So..."
Kain turned his head just a little. "So?"
"Exactly when did you have an experience battling with depression and suicide, may I ask?"
"For seventeen years, I lived on a mountain, refusing to allow myself to go to my home because I had hurt the ones I loved there. It wasn't until I faced what I was feeling that I could grow past it and overcome the limits I had placed on myself," Kain explained. "How do you think I managed to obtain this new armor?"
"...that's what it was for?"
"Yes. I ascended to becoming a Holy Dragoon," he said. "And because I know of Canti's inner pain, I know that she's going to do the same thing." Kain grinned at that. "Don't worry. I will guide her."
"Thank you, Kain."
"...I'm glad my pain can be put to a positive use now. At least that means I didn't suffer for absolutely nothing."
"I guess not. Puts things into a new perspective, doesn't it?"
"Indeed."
There was a moment of silence before Cid finally asked, "So, are you planning to marry my daughter?"
Kain blushed, and for the first time Cid could see it. "If... If she would have me?" he sounded afraid to answer that question, as if it were loaded no matter what he answered.
Cid let out a large belly laugh. "You should be our keeper's keeper."
PIECE END