Glancing over at the digital clock, Addison let out a moan. Four in the morning and she just lied there, hopelessly waiting for sleep to take over her. It was ridiculous considering she told Naomi and Violet she couldn't go out because she needed to catch up on her sleep. She told them that at nine thirty. Here she was six and a half hours later kicking herself for allowing herself to stay home alone to think.
Thinking wasn't exactly Addison's favorite past time. Well, thinking about herself wasn't her favorite past time to be exact. She was quite obviously one of the best surgeons known in the United States. She was constantly thinking in that field, quite obviously. It was so easy for her to think through other people's problems and coming up with solutions. Though when it came to healing herself; there just wasn't a solution for her to come to.
Violet had set Addison up with a friend of hers. His name was Mike. He was tall, gorgeous and incredibly smart. Of course her friend thought it was a great match, just as Addison did. But then she met him.
He was absolutely perfect. Not that that should be a problem, but it really turned out to be a major red flag. There wasn't a single thing Addison could call him out on; not a single thing was wrong with him. That being discovered, he was a problem in general.
It wasn't a secret that relationships weren't Addison's forte. She lasted a long time in a marriage with Derek Shepherd and she thought that he was enough. Of course seeing how both of them were busy doctors, they barely spent any time together. Addison noticed that on their time off, he just wasn't around. It only seemed typical that Derek decided to drop in on Addison when she was in bed with his best friend since childhood, Mark Sloan.
Since then so much has gone on. Derek left; Addison lived with Mark in attempt to having an actual relationship with him. Then she got pregnant with his baby, soon to abort it, seeing how she was still in love with Derek. The moment Mark cheated on her, she ran off to get Derek back. Once in Seattle she learned her husband was over her and Mark followed her all the way there to get her back.
That was the most dramatic time of her life. She lost her husband to a young intern, Mark followed her and ironically enough she couldn't trust him because he cheated on her after being with her for just two months. Mark couldn't understand why she couldn't just move past it and be with him. And she never understood why he couldn't realize how badly it hurt.
Living in Seattle was painful. There was nothing else to it. That was why she moved to Los Angeles. Aside from hating living by herself in a hotel room for years and the consistent rainy forecast, she hated that she didn't belong anywhere in Seattle. She went all the way there to get her husband back and she lost him. There was no getting him back. So once it really hit her; she decided it was time to start a new life. One that didn't involve the constant drama she hated to be thrown in the middle of. Instead of facing her problems she ran. And that's how she ended up in sunny California.
With her new life LA, Addison had some rules established. First of all, no meaningless sex. She only had two eggs. Two chances to have a baby. She wasn't going to risk a night with some guy she got drunk with when she only had the possibility of having two children and no more. She wanted to share her child with a man she loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Someone she trusted enough to know they'd always be there. That, the whole 'trust' issue was definitely a problem with Addison and that exactly explained why she was lying here in her bed all on her own.
With a sigh, Addison picked up her BlackBerry and began to skim through her contacts. With so many on her phone, it was no wonder that no one name actually stuck out in her mind. She was tired; she could hardly process anything at the moment other than her need to sleep. Her eyes could hardly stay open, but losing consciousness was impossible. She closed her eyes shut tight for a couple seconds before opening them; hoping the heaviness and the sting from keeping her eye lids open for so long. Finally as she managed to open her eyes and focus, her gaze fell to her BlackBerry screen, one of the contacts highlighted. Mark Sloan.
"Dear god," she shook her head, rolling her eyes. "That would happen," she mumbled to herself. She was dying to get away from Mark and never be forced to think about him when she moved away. The funny thing was that once she left, she thought about him every now and then. There wasn't even always an actual reason as to how he'd pop up into her mind. It would sometimes be like 'Hey, this outfit looks okay I guess. Hmm. Sure as hell Mark would like it.'
She hated when she thought like that. Mark was supposed to be so far behind her that he'd be a figment of her imagination by now. But he was still far too real to be imaginative. The memories were so old, but played so fresh in her memory. When she closed her eyes she could almost swear she still smells his sweet cologne, feel his gentle touch. Back in Seattle it was like poison but right about now she would kill for it.
"God Addison, what are you thinking?" she asked herself as she let out a groan. "You're sleep deprived. Go to sleep."
Betraying her mind, she pressed the message option to text him. This being the first time in so long that she's tried to contact him. Okay, she couldn't even remember the last time she tried to contact him. He was always the one pursuing her.
"Hey there. Do you miss me?"
It wasn't until after she sent it that she wished she could go back in time just fifteen seconds to undo that. All the worries of what he would think once seeing the message has her two seconds away from going insane. It wasn't like she was in Seattle anymore. She wasn't in his reach. Sure he followed her across the country, but that was before she set things straight. Would he really want to talk to her?
"What is wrong with me?" Addison asked herself out loud. That was one of the advantages of living alone in a house or even a hotel room. No one was ever around to hear you talk to yourself. Okay, that was both good and slightly sad. Maybe more sad than good.
Addison looked down at her phone. There was no reply and only a minute has gone by. The longest minute of her life.
This wasn't like Addison. She didn't obsess over things like this, especially so fast. It's only been a minute since she sent that message and she already felt like she was never going to get a response. Not only was it weird that she was worried about the text messaging deal, but it wasn't like Addison to feel the need to talk to Mark. He was Mark. Mark Sloan.
"Give it a rest," she finally thought. "It's been one freaking minute. Give it another. Hell, give it fifteen and then go to sleep already," Like she was really going to be able to sleep now.
"Maybe he's sleeping like any other normal person in this world… Maybe-"
Her phone began to vibrate.
Sitting up real fast, the redhead grabbed her phone, a weak smile pulling from her lips as Mark's name flashed up on the screen. He really did care enough to answer. That was something.
"Well if it isn't Miss 'I'm Going to Fall of the Face of the Earth' …of course I miss you. Why the hell haven't I heard from you?"
She grinned as she read the message. So he really did miss her. Maybe things didn't change as much as she thought. Maybe he was still that typical love sick puppy when it came to her. Maybe she didn't have to wait all this time before trying to contact him.
"Well," she began to respond. "I didn't realize the phone only worked one way. Thanks for informing me about that one before I tried telling anyone else otherwise. I could have made an ass out of myself."
It only took a couple of seconds before Mark answered again.
"Good point I'm sorry. I just didn't know if you'd actually want to talk to me."
Addison knew that there was no falling asleep for her now. She was talking to Mark for the first time in ages. And unlike all the other times she's spoken to him, she really wanted to. She sat up straight, propping a pillow behind her back and got comfortable. She was actually real excited to be talking to him.
"And since when does that stop you?"
She knew it was mean, but she also knew that he understood her humor a little more than most people. Besides, she was the one that started the conversation. It was a little too soon for her to be pushing him away like she used considering she did this on her own free will.
Her phone went off, and quickly, she read it.
"Since you moved away to get away from me =("
Before she could respond she got another text from him.
"…Again."
She smirked softly, unable to think of an actual response to that. She could tell him to not think like that but it wasn't like he was wrong. When she moved from New York to Seattle it was to get Derek back. But she made that move after Mark had cheated on her, causing her to end their relationship. So in a sense, she did move away from him. If he didn't cheat she probably would have stuck around long enough to realize Derek really didn't want her back and that she actually wanted to be with Mark because at the time she was so confused. Then when she left Seattle, well, she was done with the ex husband and ex lover drama. She wanted to run away from her problems and ultimately moved away from Mark after he moved all the way across the country to get her back.
"How can I make that up to you?"
Right after she sent it, she dreaded all the possibilities of answers she could get from a mind like his.
"Not saying it's happening, but if I were to ever move to California for any reason, I'd really love for you to not flee from there too… That might be nice…"
That was very unlike Mark. The sarcasm was very Mark but the fact that his answer wasn't perverted especially when she basically set it up for him to respond something vulgar, it just wasn't what she had expected at all.
"I think I can manage. It's too nice here to run away. Can you believe we can go days with perfect weather? How is it in Seattle?"
There was really no point in asking. The answer never changed.
"Rainy. Shitty. The usual."
Addison silently thanked God that she wasn't stuck in rainy Seattle anymore where she was as miserable as the weather. She hated it there so much. She also knew that Mark hated it as she did, but he was still sticking it out there.
"I guess that will never change. You need to get out of there already Mark. I know you're not exactly enjoying it there."
For some reason she felt perfectly comfortable talking to him. There was always the chance that she was talking to him from a perfectly safe distance.
"Yeah and where am I supposed to go?"
"Hmm I don't know. Maybe LA?"
She sent it without even thinking. She ran away from him so many times and now she was suggesting that he moves into the same city. She couldn't help but miss him though and wish that she could see him. It wasn't like Addison to miss Mark, but here she was, all exciting to be talking to him after starting a conversation and completely neglecting the opportunity to sleep for a few hours.
"Oh you would love that wouldn't you Montgomery?"
She smirked softly.
"Not as much as you would Sloan."
"Well normally I'd let you win but I just have to point out one thing."
Addison shook her head with a sigh. He had nothing on her.
"And what might that be?"
"You texted me first."
Alright so he had something on her. She couldn't exactly deny it either since she did start the conversation. She didn't want too selfish to tell him that she wanted to talk to him. No, she needed to talk to him. She needed to know he still cared. It wasn't like her to tell someone something that personal. That showed a sign of weakness. Addison Montgomery did know want to rub off as weak.
"I just wanted to see how you were. That's all."
"You know how I'm doing Addison there's no need to ask."
"And how am I supposed to know? I haven't seen you in so long."
"You're not here. Obviously I can be doing better."
Addison didn't know what to say at first. She sat there thinking, knowing that he'd notice how much longer it was taking for her to respond. But she couldn't think of the right thing to say and she certainly didn't want to say the wrong thing. Not after she felt like she finally had him back. It wasn't even like she's ever really lost him. It was more like she turned her back for a little while and looked the other way to see what she's been missing out on. Once she realized that all this time her back has been turned to something she didn't really like, she was ready to go back to what she was used to. Talking to Mark, as much as she hated to admit to it, was something she's gotten used to. It happens though after knowing a person since college.
"And what does that mean? You can take care of yourself."
She knew exactly what it meant. One of those curses to knowing him for so long. But she wanted him to say it himself. It was different coming from him.
"Do you really want me to make an ass out of myself as usual? I'm crazy about you Addison. Call me crazy I know. I haven't seen you in so long but that never goes away."
She didn't expect him to be so honest. She wasn't sure if it was more comforting or painful to read that. He's been the only throughout her entire life that's seen her mess up time and time again and been hurt by her beyond counting and yet, he still thought she was okay. No, he thought she was more than okay. He never stopped wanting to be with her.
Was this really happening? Just a couple minutes ago, she was lying down, trying to sleep so she could wake up to another typical day at work with her new LA friends and avoiding her problems as she normally did. With one text message she ended up confronting her problem; her need to be in contact with Mark. It was a scary thing. She actually felt like she needed to talk to him just to get by.
Not knowing how to respond, Addison placed the phone on the spot beside her and repositioned herself in her bed so that she was lying down again. She got on her side, looking over at the phone for a few minutes before finally, she picked it up again.
She wasn't going to respond, but ignoring him wouldn't do either of them any good. Mark just told her that he was crazy about her and Addison… well she just couldn't afford to turn her back on him again.
"Are you ever going to give up?"
It was only a joke and she was pretty sure he knew that. Deep down, she really didn't want him to. Back in the past, yeah, she really did. But now not so much.
Her phone went off just a couple seconds after sending the message.
"Only when I can finally say you're mine. It'll happen."
Very blunt.
"Are you sure about that?"
"Well you're still talking to me, right?"
"Very true Sloan."
"You didn't even deny that one. So I'm guessing I'm one step closer to finally getting you?"
He would never give up. Addison was beginning to realize that time would never change that. She read the text over a couple times, smiling ever so weakly. Figures she lives in another state now and she was actually very curious, wanting to know how they would work out in a real relationship.
"Have you lost your mind?" The redhead couldn't think but find it funny how she was talking to herself out loud, asking if she lost her mind.
"Maybe. Hey I'm going to try to sleep. You probably should too. Text me in the morning? Good night Mark. =)"
Once again, it only took a matter of seconds before she got a response.
"Now that I know you're actually considering it, I'm going to be trying twice as hard as you're used to. You'll see. I'll text you when I get up tomorrow. Goodnight Red. =)"
Addison bit her lip as she read it over, seeing how he called her 'Red' which was his little nickname for her. She really missed hearing him call her that.
Putting her phone back down on the pillow, she closed her eyes. It was probably the dorkiest thing ever but lying beside that phone made her feel as though she was that much closer to Mark.