I woke up, rubbing my eyes and yawning rather loudly, my white teeth sparkling, but my breath…Not so fresh. I sat up in my bed, bumping my head on Luffy's ass, "Damn kid…Always has to eat so much of my cooking before bed…" The hinges holding hammock to the wooden walls seemed to bulge with his weight, large stomach rising and falling with each breath. I rose and pulled on my pants over my blue boxers, yawning again. I wandered into the bathroom, my feet scuffing the sand-covered floor. I closed the door, practicing my facial expressions. Puckering my lips, smiling, frowning and such. I brushed my blonde hair until it shown, bangs covering one eye mysteriously, "Perfect…" I mumbled in my deep, nasal voice. I walked back out of the bathroom, pausing to spin around and stick out my tongue at myself again.
"SANJI!" A cry rang out, shaking the boat slightly, almost causing me to bite my own tongue off. I smoothed out the wrinkles on my blue pinstripe shirt before answering Nami's call, "WHAT DO YOU WANT, OH KEEPER OF MY HEART!" I snickered, that always got on her nerves…I could just see that vein bulging out of her forehead, "GET YOUR," she yawned, "LAZY ASS IN HERE AND COOK SOME BREAKFAST!" My usual stroll turned into a sprint as I dashed down the hall, coughing and gasping with each step, "I...Knew….Smoking…Would have been…Bad for me!" I huffed, inhaling a deep gulp of air.
I kicked down the door with much gusto, "I'm here!" I smiled real big, like I practiced when I woke up. Nami looked at me in disbelief, shaking her head. Nami was still in her pajamas, like the rest of the crew. At least I had enough to get dressed in the morning. I snorted in laughter at Zoro in his 'manly gown'. It reached the floor, and was the same color as his hair, a sea green. They were covered in little pirate hats and katanas. He shuffled to the fridge, his green fluffy bunny slippers scraping the floor as he grabbed the gallon of milk, downing half of it in two gulps before I snatched it from his hands, a flirty little smile on my lips. Zoro raised a brow at me, but didn't say anything. He knew my past of being a 'loving' person. Almost all the girls in the world were swooning over mere pictures of me. But can you blame them? I'm fucking gorgeous!
Nami growled, and Zoro wiped off his face, a pesky milk mustache lingering on his brief mustache. I reached up, covering my fingers with my sleeve, wiping the mustache off with thumb, "What the fuck are you doing, dancing king!" He raised a brow, "I'm trying to keep you from looking any uglier, of course." I smirked, not one of my best comebacks, really. Zoro wasn't ugly at all. He was pretty handsome, muscles bulging out from the short-sleeved night gown. His green hair gave him some character, and I really like it when he ties his bandanna around his head to where nothing shows but his eyes…Wait a minute…Was I just turned on by a man!
I shook my head, clearing such thoughts from my head, focusing on the beautiful Nami. To tell the truth, the spark between us had left, I just flirted with her to keep her feeling beautiful. The sun and the sea spray had taken its toll on her, sand gathering in wrinkles on her face. We had a fling last summer, but I broke up with her. She just wasn't any fun any more, she had constant PMS any more…She became such a slut…I walked in on her pole dancing in the middle of a bar once, and that was the last straw. Her sister is prettier anyway.Luffy strolled in, checking out Nami. He actually put some muscle on his thin frame, as he got older he got hotter, and started to look more like a man, and less like a child. We had a fling during the winter. Don't look at me like that, it was cold, and you don't get much lovin' while on the sea!
Nami smacked me on the back of the head, bringing my train of thought to a screeching halt. My cigarette flew out of my mouth, sticking itself in Zoro's nose. He tried to blow it out of his nostril, but ended up just dragging it back in. I sighed, trying to stifle a laugh. I strolled over to him, thunking him on the back multiple times, which made the cigarette shoot out of his nose and into the trash can, "You never could hold your nicotine, Zoro!" I paused, "Or your liquor!" I laughed so hard I almost choked on my spit, but had to kick Zoro in the balls later to keep him from killing me…I hope I didn't cause too much damage. But it's a pretty damn funny thing to see Zoro scooting around, holding an ice pack on his dick, and talking like he inhaled helium all day!
I fried a seagull Usopp had shot off the deck with some lemon pepper. It tasted nice, a bit more tender than chicken, but small once you pluck all its feathers off…Usopp had to shoot down 10 or 20 so I could fry them all for later, because everyone loved it so much! I swear, one of the most disgusting things on earth is watching Zoro eat. It's like watching a pig, but worse! He talks with his mouth open, with food in it! It took me half of the day to get a grain of pepper off of my eyeball…We're going to make him sit on the deck next meal, I swear!
That night I snuck out of my cabin to smoke, as usual. Luffy passes A LOT of gas in his sleep, so you don't want to be around when that happens. I sat on the rail, one of my long legs dangling off the edge of the boat. I take great pride in my legs, I keep them very slender by dancing. I love to dance; it's one of my favorite things to do. I can't do ballet though, although Ski, my best friend, tells me I do quiet well when intoxicated…Ah yes, Ski is on our boat at the moment. He managed to bum himself into a hammock…Right beside of Nami. What this means, I can only guess.
Ski wandered out of his room, sitting beside me, long blue hair tied back by a black satin ribbon, his blue eyes sparkling with his usual laughter. He took a quick swig of his drink before looking upon me, "Hey look! It's Sanji!" He gestured at me, like showing me to his imaginary friends. I could see that he had poked himself in the eye with his eyeliner yet again, but I had to admit he looked lovely with it on. He drunkenly pinned me against the bar, his hot breath pressed itself against me, I could smell the liquor, "Hey Sanji…Wanna have some fun?" He smirked capturing my lips with his like a captured butterfly. I tried screaming for help, but it only came out as a 'mpfh!' As he shoved his tongue down my throat. I made no move, so I wouldn't egg him on, but he just kept on getting worse. His hands began to toy with the button that held my pants on, his tongue still in my throat so I couldn't screech. He ripped them off with practiced ease, reliving me of his tongue so I could breathe. He kissed the side of my neck, and I screamed, as loud as I could manage with his hands around my throat. He began squeezing my neck, I could almost feel my esophagus pressing against the thin skin of my throat, "If I can't play with you, no one can…" He smirked, tongue circling my lips as I gasped for air.
Just then, Zoro came running out, katana in hand. He held his sword up against the back of Ski's neck, "If you kill him, I'll kill you, Ski." Ski's hair, which had come out of it's ribbon was around my face, "Humph. Damn swordsman…" He smirked, capturing my lips again and whispering in my ear, "I'll be back…" He grabbed my manhood roughly,jerking, causing me to kick him in the back of the head. He screamed, falling to the lower deck of the boat. We both heard the sound of his bones crack as he fell. I sighed, pulling all my articles of clothing on quickly, which I had learned from the time that girl lied to me about her age and her dad walked in…
"Are you ok!" Zoro looked at me, the thin sheet of lip gloss I wear to keep the steam from making my lips dry smeared across my chin. "Yea." I smirked, throwing my arms around Zoro's neck, "Thank you…" Then I added, "Shitty Swordsman." I laughed loudly as Zoro chased me back to my room, yelling various cusswords as I closed the door in his face. I walked into my room with ease and grace before I curled up in the corner, tears running down my face. I rocked back and forth, cradling myself until I fell asleep on the hard, sandy floor.