Trees blurred past my face as I ran through the dense forest surrounding me. My mind was scattered, something that never happens to me. I couldn't focus on a single thought pulsing through my head. All I could see was her broken face in front of mine, exploring my hardened expression for any sign of doubt. Of course, she found none.
I couldn't let myself put her in danger, no matter how much I truly loved her. Staying with her would only hurt her, and letting Bella suffer because of my carelessness was no longer going to be a problem.
If I hadn't brought her into the forest that day, maybe she would not have had to face the tracker who sought out to kill her. Maybe she would have been able to enjoy her human life without any extra fear of what lurks in my world; a world that should not exist.
I slowed down to a walking pace as I reached the winding driveway of my house. Leaving here was something my family would have to do eventually, but they were not ready to do so. Not yet.
I trudged into the garage at an alarmingly slow pace and sunk down against the wall next to the door. My face fell into my hands and I shook my head, trying to ignore my thoughts, and failed.
How could she believe the lies I fed her? After the thousands of times I swore my love to her, she believed me when I told her I didn't want her anymore. I remembered how the beating of her heart accelerated when she pieced the meaning of my words together. For once, I was thankful that I couldn't read her mind. It would have made my choice impossible.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I did not pick up my head. Images of her broken face flashed behind my eyelids like a slideshow. Her scent was still clinging to my sleeves. My mind was beginning to shut down…
"Edward, son, you don't have to do this," Carlisle pleaded. "What happened on her birthday was not your fault, and it can be avoided. Jasper is learning, and he's promised us that he could restrain himself. Leaving her now might hu-"
"I know what I'm doing," I growled back at him. "Do you really think I want her to be around me after that? She needs real human friends. She needs to be around people that won't try and take a snap at her if she gets a simple cut on her finger. Someone who can hold her hand and kiss her and tell her it will all be okay and mean it."
My voice broke on my last sentence. I wanted so badly to be that person for the rest of my life. If I could, I would find a way to become human for her. I needed her more than anything in this world, but I wasn't going to be selfish. Her safety came before my fixation.
Carlisle grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up. I staggered against his grip but managed to stand. I looked at him, but didn't really see him. I could not see anything but a blur of memories that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
"If this is what you think is best, no one will stop you," He responded. "Take my car if you need to, and a cell phone. Keep in contact so we can all meet when you've calmed down. We are your family, Edward. We want to be with you and help you through this."
I took the keys from his hand and bolted into the car. The keys flew into the ignition and in a split second I was flying down the road. I had to get away from Forks, from everything I had done wrong, and all of my memories of her.