Double Dates
Eugene can't believe he agreed to this crap. For anyone else, forget it. But for her . . . What choice does he have? Rapunzel is so looking forward to meeting the other princesses and their respective princes, and Eugene can't believe he's about to give up the next four Fridays nights in a row. Talk about killing your social life.
Up first: a redhead and the hubby she somehow roped in. Rumor has it that she attracted him with a song she kept singing, brainwashing him into a trance. And, then there was some bit about mermaids and sea witches, but everyone knows they aren't for real, right? Eugene wonders who would really believe stuff like that, anyway.
Rapunzel preps herself for the meeting as only a princess could, and Eugene tries his best, too. He really does, even going as far as brushing his teeth and combing his hair. They meet outside the dining room where their guests are waiting, and Rapunzel can't help but grin. She's wearing a light green dress that compliments her eyes perfectly, and he's in a dashing evergreen vest. She knows this will be the best double date ever.
They stop abruptly as they enter the room. The red haired princess is brushing her hair with a fork, and while her lover looks on, his blue eyes swimming with admiration. Eugene wonders, What the heck is wrong with this chick?
The night gets weirder after that. Rapunzel seems to have found her long lost sister, as she and the redhead flit about the room, examining every little thing. The fork is called a dinglehopper. The king's cigar? A snarfblatt. Everyone in the room seems entranced. Everyone but Eugene.
At least her guy seems cool, Eugene thinks. His name's Eric something, and he knows all about steering a ship and commanding a crew. Eugene could get used to a life on the sea. And the crab seems cool, too. He reminds Eugene of a sarcastic version of Pascal.
All week, Rapunzel gushes about their double date, declaring it a great success. She just knows there next one will be even better. Eugene isn't so sure.
A French couple arrives around noon that Friday, and Eugene can't believe that he has to give up an entire day for these people. But, Blondie… She can't even hold her excitement as she runs out to the carriage to meet them.
Eugene lingers behind, following slowly. He watches a brunette woman gracefully exist from the carriage. Her hair is long, her eyes are brown, and she's wearing a golden yellow dress. Eugene thinks she's a real beauty. But when she's followed by an equally beautiful man, Eugene feels himself growing uncomfortable inside.
Rapunzel dances around the two of them, so excited because the girl wasn't royalty, but she married into royalty anyway. Just like Eugene!
They arrive in the rose garden, full of red roses and sharp thorns. The pretty man looks uncomfortable for a second, and his girl squeezes his hand, as if to say, it's ok. The garden is all ready for a picnic, complete with red and white checkered gingham and baskets overflowing with delicious food.
And everything goes as well as possible. Eugene thinks the brown haired girl is almost as pretty as Rapunzel and she reads books with so much intensity. She makes The Tales of Flynnigan Rider come alive, while her man looks on with eyes almost wild with love. As day grows into evening, the only thing that creeps out Eugene is how she keeps calling her prince, The Beast. It's really weird, and he wonders about the dynamics of their relationship in the bedroom. Rapunzel is so ecstatic to have a new friend, she doesn't seem to notice.
Another week, another couple. This pair arrives by horse, and technically, neither of them are royalty. He's an army general and she's an adviser to the emperor of China. Despite their stature, Rapunzel has heard great things about this dynamic duo, and she invited them months ago in hopes of learning from them.
Eugene likes both of them immediately. The girl is smart, probably even smarter than Rapunzel, although he doesn't like to admit that. And the guy is definitely built; Eugene's not sure where his biceps end and his pecks begin. But they aren't full of themselves like they could be. Instead, they seem to be as timeless and wise as a king and queen.
Their double date takes them on a ride through the countryside. The raven haired girl isn't the most beautiful, but her eyes seem to pierce inside whoever she's staring at, as if making secret plans to deconstruct their soul. Her black horse has white streaks and there seems to be a small red dragon peeping out from her bag. Her guy follows her, as if both he and his horse know who wears the pants in the relationship.
Rapunzel soaks up everything she can from her. How to be graceful, courageous, and brave. How to defeat a terrible enemy and save a country in one fail swoop.
They even visit the tower. Rapunzel feels courageous enough to go back there with this girl by her side. They climb to the top of the tower by themselves. Eugene has no desire to revisit the place where he died and he knows Rapunzel is safe with this woman. Looking at her paintings on the wall, Rapunzel enjoys her newfound freedom from the past. Eugene and the general make awkward guy talk below. There's a lot of grunting and arm thumping going on.
It's the last Friday night date for a while. The Arabian couple arrives on a magic carpet, and Eugene sincerely wonders if he's losing his mind. Where did Rapunzel find these people?
He doesn't know that Rapunzel left this couple for last because they are so like them. Really, their stories were almost identical, and Rapunzel squealed when she heard about the diamond in the rough. A princess locked up somewhere dreaming of freedom, an orphan stealing whatever he can to survive, and an evil person trying to use the princess for their own good.
The similarities don't stop there. As the dark haired girl talks to Rapunzel, Eugene thinks about how smart and kind and beautiful they both are, leading their kingdoms with as much wisdom as any soon-to-be queen. The four of them get along so well, that the double date turns into a weeklong visit. Eugene enjoys swapping stories with the prince. They even pretend to steal a few crowns and whatnots from the princesses, reliving the good old days. And he's secretly relieved that the tiger he's heard so much about stayed behind.
Plus, Rapunzel seems so happy. He doesn't realize that the princesses are whispering about how both of their guys were hot and could sing and loved them endlessly—all with great hair and shining eyes. Reformed thieves as husbands: Who knew, right?