A/N: Cross-posted from my ao3 account.
Disclaimer: Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
Title: stubborn hope
Words: 475
Summary: This is a rebellion. They rebel by staying alive.
there is so much stubborn hope in the human heart - albert camus.
Between –
Between what?
Between him dropping to his knees – the blue sky turning red and gold with the sand whipping at their faces – between Jyn – the water reflecting the sun – her hand in his, him clutching the back of her shirt to keep her close so that even in – stay with me – between the fall and the action and the hope –
Cassian closes his eyes.
The sound of a ship flying near is the most beautiful thing ever.
He opens his eyes, turns skyward, and sees hope.
0
Cassian Andor is obsessed with his death, about dying like a martyr.
Since I was six, he told Jyn, the dreams of him pulling a trigger in a last stand burning in his veins. In those dreams he has K-2SO beside him, a team of soldiers and rebels fighting to their last breath. Or he is locked in a standstill with a Stormtrooper, blood on both sides and weapon in hand. Or - or what? Does it matter?
He dies in every dream and fantasy.
In reality, he has no weapons, and Cassian is holding a thief close, the beach burning around them with the tattered remains of an army dying.
He is ready to die, but there is a ship coming in close with Bodhi's voice shouting above, Jyn's laughter in Cassian's ear.
The beach burns and a ladder drops down to them.
0
"Am I surrounded by dead men?" he asks, his throat dry and side burning with pain.
A bloodied Chirrut grins. He leans heavily on Baze's side, and points with his stick to the front of the ship. "The Force is with us all. But more with stubborn pilots who throw grenades back at the enemies."
A copy of K-2SO grumbles about the probability of that, and Bodhi's laughter joins the rest.
Jyn's hand closes around his; the crystal hanging around her neck catches the last of the light.
Cassian closes his eyes. He wants his last image before he sleeps to be this, his crew and hope. He realizes as his mind drifts away and the pain numbs is that the last image is full of life.
0
This time Cassian dreams about staying alive. Instead of dying in an alley or on the frontline, there are options for him to survive. He sees them growing and moving around him, revenants of the childhood he once had merging with the hope of what future lies ahead.
Stay alive, the ghosts of his parents murmur in his dreams. Stay alive and it would be enough.
0
He wakes later back at the base.
"Captain Andor, how are you?" asks the med-droid hovering by his side.
"Alive," he says. It is time to get to work.
Time to save the rebellion, save the dream, save the hope.