Legolas was happy.
Legolas was happy because Elrohir was not happy. Elrohir was not happy because his horse had eaten too many daisies and made it known by splattering Elrohir's boots with half-digested daisies. So now they were waiting by a river for Elrohir to recover his dignity.
Elrohir swore like an orc who had accidentally eaten his entire family after a night of hard drinking. Legolas closed his eyes and meditated on a big rock because he was a good elf and he did not swear.
Elrohir stomped back and forth, and he smelled like a dead oliphaunt. A very, very dead oliphaunt. So Legolas stood up and sniffed. Then he grabbed a book of old poetry (very old soooappho old) and stepped onto the river.
Elrohir's eyes widened in amazement and he stopped his stomping because he thought Legolas might have magical elf powers and he wanted magical elf powers too. But no. The only reason why Legolas wasn't drowning was because the river was frozen.
He felt hurt. Legolas didn't want to spend any time with him.
"Why don't you want to spend any time with me?" he wailed. He wailed very loudly. So loudly his diarrheaing horse farted in alarm and splattered him with more half-digested daisies.
Legolas sat down in the middle of the frozen river to meditate. "You have no brains and no dignity and you keep on falling in love with people who are 1293 thousand years older than you. I don't like you."
Elrohir's heart cracked like Elrond's knees did sometimes when he stood up too fast. "You're MEAN!"
Legolas didn't even look at him. "Calm down grandpa."
Elrohir's heart withered. So he did something mean.
He stomped his way to the river and stomped hard. He was not a fat elf but he was not a skinny elf either so the ice splintered.
"AH!" Legolas found himself meditating at the bottom of a very cold river.
Elrohir danced along the river bank.
"The river is flowing! Oh, tra-la-la-lally, here down in the valley, ha! ha!" Elrohir sang. He did a jig. He spun on his head. He laughed like a crazy person. Only crazy people sang 'tra-la-la-lally'.
"Get me out if you don't want a diplomatic crisis!" Legolas shouted, forgetting that he was underwater. He felt water seep into his eyeballs and gurgled. An enormously fat trout stopped to stare at him. He glared at it.
"You're deaddddd! ha HA!" Elrohir whispered, staring down at Legolas. There were tufts of grass in his hair and his eyes bulged like cantaloups.
Legolas stared at the crazy person looming above him and decided survival was overrated.
"Don't get me out!" he gurgled as Elrohir began to reach for him with the sharp end of his machete.
The trout swam closer. He was very interested in this beautiful visitor.
Legolas stared at the veritable ball of slime that was attempting to court him.
Then he looked at Elrohir who was foaming at the mouth at this point.
He lunged for the trout.
Three months later Thranduil received a message that his son had been spotted creeping around the waterways of Imladris with a swarm of golden-haired baby trout.
He died of a heart attack.