The night was silent. Nothing was moving on the grassy plain, not even the grass. Everything was frozen solid.
Suddenly, a horrendous wheezing and groaning sliced through the perfect silence, and an old London police box appeared out of thin air. The doors opened, and an elderly gentleman in the garb of an Edwardian gentleman stepped out, his face calm, stern, yet excited. He was followed by a young girl, her face full of wonder. "Grandfather, look! Nothing's moving." Her grandfather nodded. "Yes, Susan, my child. This planet is quite the scientific anomaly. What a shame that Ian and Barbara had to be sent to Space Hospital rather than continue travelling with us." He frowned and turned to her. "You should have reminded me to innoculate them against Space Time Diseases, you know well enough how deadly an STD can be. Oh, my child, you must stop acting as though you are retarded."
The man, of course, was that mysterious traveller in time and space, the Doctor, who had begun his travels to rid himself of his smoking problem, which he had finally banished shortly after landing on prehistoric Earth. However, he was still battling a hidden cocaine addiction. "My stores are running low," he fretted. "I must find my way back to Hacienda Napoles!"
"Grandfather, look!" Susan screeched. A strange creature was eating the grass, unaffected by the freezing. It stood on two legs and had pale, almost human skin, and heavily receding hair. It looked up at the time travellers. "Meenyons! Iwont meenyons!" it bellowed, and the Doctor snapped his fingers. "Susan, that is an Edups! We must be on Kabris, the sixth planet of the Ortizum system!"
"Yes, yes indeed, you are!" a high pitched voice called out from behind them. "Who are you?" Susan squealed as she turned to see a small, fat man in blackface rolling towards them. "I? Who am I? I am he! I am... the Wibbler!"
The Doctor passed out as he shat himself in pure terror.