The Hardest Thing
By: Assassin-G

A/N: For argument's sake, let's believe that Allenby was acutally in love with Domon prior to the fight with Ulube's Dark Gundam. I have always believed there were some deep emotions between them and I acknowledge the fact that many do not share my opinion. Inspired by 98 Degree's The Hardest Thing, hence the title.

(The Hospital)

'How do I break the news to Allenby,' Domon pondered as he sat on the pediatric chair. He had just defeated Master Asia in the Final Bout. The loss of his former master was quite upsetting, considering the fact that his ill-fated plot to obtain the Dark Gundam was made out of pure intention.

To make matters worse, Rain, weighed down by guilt, vows never to see Domon again. Not after all her father had done to his family.

But now…

'I always liked Allenby,' he mused thoughtfully. 'We are like two kindred spirits.'

He could never love Allenby the way he knew he could love Rain. Though he and the blue haired pilot of Neo-Sweden's Nobel Gundam had much in common, even their purposes of becoming Gundam pilots, the King of Hearts knew it would never work out. She was more like a sister or close cousin to Domon, nothing more.

'I still cannot believe I slapped Rain when Allenby went missing,' he thought angrily, his eyebrows furrowed through the recent emotional trials he had endured. 'I keep pushing Rain away, but deep down, she is the one for me.'

His mind drifted to the time when Allenby had incorporated Neo-Sweden technology to the Burning Gundam. He smiled as he remembered his crewmate's reaction after seeing the pair. 'Allenby was only looking out for me,' he concluded. 'In the end, it did save my hide.'

Rain had been there for him during his training in the Guyana Highlands. Rain, disregarding her own well-being, had piloted the Shining Gundam to save him in the broadcasting tower in Japan. Rain had saved him from Master Asia by transferring Shining Gundam's memory into Burning Gundam in the Guyana Highlands. She had proved her love for the King of Hearts one time after another. It was not something to go unnoticed.

"I cannot let Rain leave me," he said aloud. "Not after all we've been through."

'It has to be done.'

He exited the examination room unaware that the back of his hospital gown was not tied up, giving spectators a gratis peek of his backside. There was no time to deal with trivial matters.

He entered Allenby's room. The first thing he noticed was the blue-haired angel napping in the hospital cot.

"Get it over with, Kasshu," he coached under his breath. He slowly rapped on the wooden door. Allenby's emerald eyes opened and a look of mild surprise crossed her pretty face.

"Domon! I've missed you."

She started out enthusiastically and ended with a whisper, like a decrescendo in an orchestrated work of music. Domon flinched at the atmosphere he had stepped in. There were strong emotions present. Admiration. Elation. Jubilee. Appeasement. Maybe love?

'Do it NOW, Domon Kasshu,' his conscience insisted. 'The longer you keep this charade, the more pain she will be in.'

"Allenby, I…" His voicebox failed to function. Unable to utter another word, he cleared his throat.

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong

"I have to leave you, Allenby," he said as he regained the use of his voice.

"Why? You just got here, Domon. Here. Have a seat. Keep me company."

Her voice was like that of an innocent child. Considering the fact that she was one of the top contenders in the Tournament, she seemed so vulnerable at this moment.

"I have to be somewhere else."

I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep

"Are you sure you can't stay for a while, Domon?" Her voice quivered lightly, indicating the desire for his presence. Domon shook his head, "No."

I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

"I don't think we can ever see each other again," he continued. "I honestly do not feel the same as you do me."

Allenby looked at him like a lost puppy would to a stranger. Her eyes welled up, tears inevitable.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

"I only see you as a close friend, Allenby Beardsley. An ally. A rival. A comrade. A sister even. But nothing more."

"Can't I at least try to make you see?"

Domon sighed and thought, 'How can I?'

I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be

"It is for the best," he answered coldly. "That we should not see each other anymore."

She was still stunned by her love's harsh words. Though she had braved much pain, nothing could have prepared her for this.

Domon felt the same way, thought the only thing he could do was turn away to avoid seeing the tears well up.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

'I only love you as a friend,' he thought sadly. 'But if you cannot give up hope on me, then we can never see each other again.'

"Why are you doing this?" she asked as she regained enough composure to string together a sentence.

I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life

"I've got to be cruel to be kind," Domon muttered as the line from 98 Degree's The Hardest Thing popped up in his mind. "Like I said earlier, there is something that I must attend to."

He drummed his knuckles on the wall, an uneasy look developing on his face.

"I love Rain," he confessed. "And there is nothing in the world that can change that. Please try to understand where I am coming from and try to look into your heart to find some sort of happiness for yourself. I love you as a friend. I would hate to lose you over this."

I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

"I'll need some time," she whispered, her eyes set on her bed sheets. She smiled slightly and added, "But don't think I'll let you off easy because of this. In the next Tournament, I will defeat you, Domon Kasshu."

Domon gave her one of his rare smiles.

'Love between friends…'

"Sure," he said unconvincingly. "Well. I have to go now. You keep on telling yourself you can defeat me, okay?"

He ran before the pillows could find their target: his head.