Damn Good Pie
By Inuyoshie (the terrible)
The higher ups in the Black Order don't tend to like Komui Lee. The man was practically mad in their point of view, constantly causing trouble with random concoctions he makes when half asleep and not getting his paperwork done. However, the higher ups disliked Cross Marian more, and when Komui came up with a device to physically keep Cross inside the Black Order complex, the higher ups suddenly liked Komui.
However, Cross did not. He spent the next week after Komui had snuck up on Cross in his sleep and placed such a device on him brooding in his (Cross's) room. Who the hell creeps up on people when they are sleeping? (Besides rapists) And how the hell did Komui hone such skills?
A polite knock sounded from Cross's room. Hoping it would be someone with a package or cigarettes (his were running low) Cross grunted "Come in"
It was Komui, and he didn't have cigarettes. Or booze. Or breasts for that matter, so Cross tuned him out.
"Look, I'm sorry for confining you here…"
Boring.
"But you have to stay, we need you…"
Bullshit.
"So I was wondering if you'd like to spend Thanksgiving dinner with us,"
Don't care…
"It'll just be you, me and Lenalee…"
Lenalee…
Cross sat up.
"Throw in some wine and you have a deal," he informed Komui flatly. Komui grinned and nodded.
That was a week ago.
When Thanksgiving rolled around, Lenalee was nowhere to be found.
Seriously irked, Cross went on a hunt for Komui. No Lenalee, no dinner, it was simple as that. Komui was intensely protective of his sister (especially around Cross) and this dinner was Cross's only ticket for hopefully getting Komui and Lenalee drunk so that they don't notice him… it was a perfect plan. Cross opened up a door to one of Jerry's smaller kitchens where he heard some humming that definitely sounded Komui-ish emanating from.
Sure enough, Komui was cooking. IN fact, he was chopping up celery. The scent of cooking turkey filled the air, making Cross's stomach ache slightly. In a bowl was what looked like chunks of bread and sliced apples. Komui turned around and glanced curiously at Cross.
"Oh, hello there," he smiled cheerfully, his beret sliding a little, giving the man a goofy look. That combined with the frilly white apron Komui was wearing… Cross snickered and burst out laughing. Komui frowned at this. "What?"
"You look like a freaking woman!" Cross sniggered. Komui's frown deepened.
"What is it?" he asked, adjusting his glasses. Cross straightened.
"Where's Lenalee?" he asked.
"Regrettably, she's on a mission. It'll just be the two of us tonight," Komui sighed. Cross twitched, about to tell Komui off. Then he got another whiff of that turkey. That damn turkey…
"Oh, and I got you some wine too," Komui added, going into the fridge and holding out a rather large bottle of expensive French wine. Cross sighed.
"Fine," he muttered, pulling up a chair and sitting down. Komui put the wine back and glanced at Cross.
"Fine what?" he asked.
"I'll stay for dinner," Cross muttered grudgingly.
"Okay," Komui shrugged, turning back to his slicing. Cross watched the Chinese man quietly. He had many of the same traits as Lenalee… the tall frame, pale skin, dark bluish black hair with a bit of a curl, although Komui's curls were more obvious than Lenalee's. Cross vaguely wondered if Komui curled his hair. It wouldn't surprise him.
Once the stuffing was in the oven, Komui sighed and sat down on a stool, grabbing his coffee and staring at Cross.
"Food will be ready to serve in about half an hour," he explained.
"I thought stuffing took longer," Cross remarked.
"I tinkered with it," Komui admitted. Cross frowned.
"It better not turn me blue," he remarked.
"That was only once!" Komui muttered. Cross twitched.
"I was joking." He remarked, sounding mildly disturbed. Komui sighed.
"No one trusts my cooking," he lamented.
"That's probably because you 'tinker' with it," Cross remarked. Komui pouted slightly. Cross watched Komui quietly, propping his chin up with a hand.
"Is something wrong?" Komui asked.
"No. Why would there be?" Cross demanded.
"Well… it's just you keep staring at me," Komui remarked.
"Hmp. Did you make pie?" Cross demanded.
"Well… yeah…" Komui nodded, pointing to a cooling pie on top of the microwave. "I even have some whipped cream,"
"Good. Pie is not pie without whipped cream," Cross nodded wisely. Komui shrugged.
"I've always had it without. It's not bad," he pointed out. Cross made a face.
"Are you kidding? That's disgusting," Cross snorted. "You have not had real pie,"
"So I've had fake pie?" Komui wanted to know. Cross narrowed his eyes and growled at Komui in a masculine manner. It is difficult to argue with a very manly sounding growl, so Komui shut up.
After twenty minutes, Komui walked over to a small table in a corner in the kitchen and began lighting candles. Cross watched with a perplexed look on his face as Komui methodologically set the table, putting out cranberry sauce (even though Cross didn't like it) and eating utensils. Komui then pulled out the turkey, which was fairly small but aromatic and crispy, and began basting it while humming something softly under his breath that sounded more haunting than cheerful. Cross got the wine out, as well as several wine glasses. He was tired of sitting down on the chair anyways. Cross began to unzip his uniform. Komui whipped around, startled as he watched Cross slip out of it, revealing a relatively tight undershirt.
"What are you…"
"The frills get in the way," Cross explained calmly, tossing the coat on the doorknob of the kitchen and closing the door quietly. Komui watched, carefully setting a plate laden with food on Cross's place and getting his own food. Cross gracefully sat down, pouring himself a glass of wine. After a moment's thought, Cross also poured Komui some wine. Komui sat down in a more awkward manner, said grace, and began eating. Cross didn't mind with the prayers, digging in.
The food was surprisingly delicious. Not to say that Cross was sexist, but he found that women had a natural ability to cook well, and men had less of a natural ability. Their cooking skills were sort of like Innocence, only really arising when the circumstances called for it. (In all reality, Cross would love it if there was a woman out there content to make him sandwiches all day, give him alcohol and do it all wearing an apron and nothing else.)
Komui sipped his wine. There was a pronounced blush on his face. Cross stared at it, finding it oddly endearing. Once their food was done, Komui sighed.
"Pie?" he asked. Cross nodded. Komui stood up (staggering slightly) and began to walk over to the microwave. He reached out and grasped the pie, before turning around. Cross saw the wobble in Komui's step and stood, walking over to the man.
"Stay there. I'll get the pie-"
"No, I'm okay-"
Both men crashed into each other. The pie flew into the air. Cross watched the pie, and leaned forward to catch it, thus causing himself to fall on top of Komui. The pie was saved, but Komui was dazed and on the ground, under Cross. Cross stared down at Komui with interest. Komui blinked, his vision blurring for a moment and then refocusing as a starburst of pain exploded behind his eyes.
"Ow…" he whined. Cross set the pie down and frowned at Komui, sliding a hand through the man's hair and feeling. He felt a lump, but no blood. He was about to move his hand away when Komui whined in protest. "Don't… feels… nice," he muttered dazedly. Cross frowned, but kept his hand there.
"Fine, I won't move it," he nodded. Komui sighed and seemed to relax into Cross's hand. The warm hand felt quite nice on his throbbing lump. Cross sighed and glanced at the pie. Well… it was already sliced… Cross leaned over with his other hand, and pried a piece of pie out. Unfortunately, the tip of it crumbled, landing on Komui's chest. Komui glanced at Cross as he took a bite of pie.
"Cr-oosss…" Komui remarked, dazed from the alcohol and hit to the head. "Did you know?"
"What?" Cross demanded, between bites of pie.
"A study came out… saying that… the smell of pumpkin pie… turns men on…" Komui remarked with a slight giggle. Cross blinked at the man, munching on his pie crust.
"Really," he remarked. Komui sat up abruptly, clutching his head with one hand and plucking the pie tip off of his chest with another hand. Komui leaned forward quickly and kissed Cross, then pulled back and ate his corner of pie. Cross stared at Komui, shocked. What… what the hell just happened? Did Komui just… just… just…
Did Komui just make himself seme?
"What the hell was that?" Cross demanded.
"A… you know… hehe, kiss," Komui replied drunkenly.
Cross twitched and grabbed Komui by his shirt, pulling him close roughly and kissing him fiercely. Komui's eyes widened at the unexpected contact.
"See? That is a kiss. You here? You just don't give pansy-assed kisses like that," Cross growled. Komui stared, at a loss of words. Cross snorted slightly, unimpressed. Komui frowned at that. Being drunk, he still knew when his manliness was being mocked.
"Fine!" Komui muttered, kissing Cross again, with a surprising amount of ferocity. "Is that better?" he demanded, pulling away.
"Not even close," Cross shook his head, pinning Komui to the floor and kissing him roughly. "You're learning though," he remarked, pulling back with a grin.
"Of course I am," Komui replied haughtily, grabbing Cross's shirt.
Lenalee rushed into the Black Order, pink faced from the cold air outside.
"I hope I haven't missed dinner with Komui and General Cross," she remarked. Reever ran over to her, slightly red faced.
"Uh, Lenalee…"
"Yeah?" she blinked.
"I think you're going to be eating by yourself this evening… Komui and the General are kinda… uh, busy," Reever muttered.
"Busy…" Lenalee blinked, confused. Reever sighed. Sometimes, it was better not knowing.
"Well, Allen's free," he remarked cheerfully.
-Fin
Inuyoshie's after the chapter shizzle
So yeah. Bad ending, but this be a CrossxKomui, if you didn't notice by all the mansmex in the kitchen. XD.
So yeah. This one shot happened out of total random. I was watching the news, and a report came on saying that a study said that men were attracted to the scent of pumpkin pie. Instant plot bunny kick.
Also, pumpkin pie is sexy good.
So here it be. This fanfic is dedicated to Rayna Lissisul, mah peep. So yeah, this is not the CrossXKomui you had asked for, but it's a CrossXKomui, so that counts for something, right? I hope so…
Please review.
Also, for those of you who have alerted me looking for some Love Lies Bleeding, that's coming up, really! I've been going through a rough time recently, so my muse left me. (Come back Art, please…) anyways (random role-play reference) so more yaoi shall come up soon, I pwomise.