DISCLAIMER:I own nothing!

The season ended last night. I hate Becks. So I wrote this around the time of the cotillion episode. Chuck looked so cute. Um, but that's totally not the point. You should just know I wrote this before Bart's proposal and Allison was still there, but I've gotten rid of her. I'malso just borrowing the lyrics.

Enjoy

This is the way you left me

I'm not pretending

No hope, no love, no glory

No happy ending

This is the way that we love like it's forever

Then live the rest of our life

But not together.

The song playing on the radio started out inocently enough, but the words had a deeper meaning to the man who heard them that day.

Rufus Humphrey groaned at the sounds of the pop song playing throughout the apartment he shared with his fourteen and seventeen year old kids.

As Mika (What kind of a name was that? And why would he sing so high..?) began to sing his first verse of the song Rufus tried to ignore the sound.

But it was impossible. Even if the music were turned off he would probably never forget those words.

No happy ending.

That was so true. It seemed like there really were no happy endings anymore. They only ever existed in the movies and books now. He knew this because he had been in love twice in his life, and neither time was there a 'happy ending'. There was just an ending.

Not long ago he had talked to his son Dan about what it was like to be with a girl like Serena van der Woodsen. He never named names but the woman he had really been talking about was his first love Lily Rhodes.

"I dated a girl like Serena once... Actually, a lot like Serena. And girls like that are challenging. It's true. They're complicated and... Enigmatic... And usually worth it. And the only way you'll know for sure is to jump in with both feet."

"What happened with you?"

"I swam for a while... Till I drowned." he confessed.

Lily broke his heart when he was just twenty-one years old. Her parents never approved of their relationship and forced their daughter to make a choice. Rufus liked to think she'd struggled with it, because everytime he thought back on that day, he was certain he saw tears in her eyes.

But, nonetheless, she made her choice. She chose her familly's money over their love.

But then, her parents didn't seem to mind her continuing to frolick with rockstars. Just not one on a permanent basis. They continued to cross paths for about two years afterward, meeting up at gigs, where Lily would be acompanying one of her many rock star boyfriends.

That is until she decided to 'trade up' to billionares.

By that time he had met someone too. Her name was Allison and she seemed to care for him in a way that could very posibly erase all the pain that Lily had caused.

But eighteen years and two children later, she turned around and stomped on his heart as well.

They both left him, although the seond time around, he tried to convince himself that it was just temporary... Allison moved to Hudson for a break.

Right.

It wasn't until Dan's senior year that things started to get complicated in Rufus' life.

Lily had two kids as well. A girl - Dan's age. and a boy same as Jenny.

For years Dan had loved Serena from afar. It wasn't until she returned from bording school in Connetict that the Humphrey's and the Van der Woodsens really crossed paths.

Lily was outraged that Dan and Serena were going on a date. She confronted Rufus, claiming he'd had something to do with it. Something about now that Alison was gone... She always managed to make everything about her.

But unlike her parents, it seemed Lily couldn't control who her daughter spent her time with.

Which made Rufus both happy and a little sad. He was glad that his son was getting a chance to get to know this girl he'd been dreaming about for so long. But he also wished that he'd had more of a chance with his first love, that she had been stronger. And he hoped Serena wouldn't turn out like her mother.

-------------------------------------------

Lillian van der Woodsen, nay Rhodes sat staring at an engagement ring. She was planning to accept a marriage proposal. She had been seeing Bart Bass for quite a while, and he had recently asked her to marry him.

It was very possibly the least romantic proposal she'd ever heard. And she'd heard a few. If she chose to accept this would be her third marriage.

Although Bart, the father of her two children and her first husband were not the only men to ask for her hand.

One of her first 'bilionaire boyfriends' Duncan Bell had proposed to her after two years. But it was then that she realised that she didn't love him. She barely liked him half the time. And had had to refuse him.

Then of course there had been Rufus Humphrey, her first - no, only - love. He had asked in what she beleived to be a desperate attempt to stop her from ending their relationship.

Of course her mother had made it very clear what would happen if she continued to see him. And as much as she loved him, that wasn't something she was prepared for.

Her entire life she had lived a privleged existence, everything she ever wanted or needed was provided without hesitation.

And so when it came time to choose between the man she loved and the life she loved, there was no question. She would always love Rufus, and she didn't want to live without him. But she could.

She wasn't naive. She knew that if she married him then, at such a young age, things would eventually turn sour and then she would have nothing. She''d seen it happen so often, there was no point denying it.

"We can't see each other anymore."

"What?" Rufus asked, confused. He looked at her as if he thought she were joking.

"I met someone. At Martha's Vineyard. I can't date you... I'm sorry."

"This is crazy Lil. What do you mean you-"

"I'm sorry Rufus. But Eli and I-"

"Marry me!"

"What?"

"Marry me. I love you. I don't care about Eli whoever. But I want you. Marry me."

"Rufus we can't get married. We're twenty-one years old."

"That's why we can. We're old enough, it's legal.I know you're parents don't really like me, but they wouldn't have a say. Tell whatever his nameis you changed your mind. I love you Lily."

"I..."

"You love me don't you?"

"Rufus please,"

"Do you love me or not?" she stared into his eyes, silently.

"I have to go." she turned and walked away from him as fast as she could. She wanted to look back, but she didn't want him to see her crying.

Her first marriage had failed, which she had known would happen. Then she met Michael van der Woodsen. They were happy for awhile. Long enough to concieve two children. But by the time their son was eight years old it was over.

And she was certain that if she did marry Bart it wouldn't work out. She could never be truely happy with any man, because she had allowed The One to get away.

"I never should have let you let me go."

Everytime she thought of Rufus she heard those words and they always sent a shiver from her toes to the tips of her fingers and out every hair folicle

For years she had appeared to be this controlling, bitchy, rich, unfeeling monster. That's what she had to become to survive ever since the day she walked away from Rufus.

"Not anymore." She decided snapping the box shut. She grabbed her purse and jacket and headed out to the street.

-

"The Palace, how may I direct your call?"

"Lilly van der Woodsen's room please."

"I'm sorry sir. She's just stepped out."

"Oh... Ok, well do you know when she'll be back?" Rufus asked, still not sure why he was even calling.

"No. I'm afraid not. Could I take a message, mr..?"

"Ah, no. that's alright."

He hung up, and took a deep breathe, trying to decide what it was he was hoping for by calling his ex.

He'd said all he could say, done everything he could do and now she was going to get married. Again. To the wrong guy. Again.

She'd told him about Bart's proposal, all that was left now was for her to accept it.

Rufus wasn't sure why Lily had been occupying his thoughts so often lately. He decided it was probably because her daughter had been spending so much time in the apartment with Dan, and her son was calling every other day to speak with Jenny for hours.

But he couldn't even be sure if that was the truth.

He did know why Allison had left though. She'd been right. They never stood a chance when Lily was in their lives. Even when she stepped back, to give them time together, he sought her out. He'd needed to talk to her, despite his wife's wishes.

Lily was doing it again. She was driving him crazy the way she had when they were kids.

-------------------------------------

"Good afternoon Miz Van der Woodsen."

"Hi Janet. Is Bart in his office?"

"No. He had a lunch apointment. He shouldn't be much longer. But I could call to hurry him up if you'd like." Bart Bass' assisant replied. She was a very kind woman. A few years younger than Lily's mother, she couldn't be more different from Cece.

"That's ok... Could I just pop in there for a minute? I need to leave something on his desk."

"Of course dear." Janet smiled, and for a moment Lily was unsure if she should do this. She would miss that woman...

Once inside the office, alone, she looked around. It was so cold and impersonal. Just like the man who conducted his business there.

Lily took the small Tiffany's box from her Louis Vitton purse and placed it, open, in the middle of the large oak desk.

"Goodbye Bart." she whispered as she turned back to the door. She planned to be happy. It had been a long time since she'd put her happiness ahead of others. She had put herself first for years, but not in order to be happy. Just to get ahead in the world. Now she didn't care where she lived or what people thought of her, she just wanted to laugh and love.

-----------------------------------

Rufus decided to go for a walk. To clear his head. And to stop himself from staring at the phone that he wanted to pick up again, press redial...

Getting out of the apartment was the best thing he could do right now.

Jenny had turned off her music and gone out to meet Eric somewhere, but he could sill hear it...

As soon as he opened the door, he thought he'd truely gone insane. Because there stood Lily van der Woddsen in all her glory.

"Oh Jeez." he screwed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples before looking out into the hallway again.

She was still there.

"Lily- What... What are you doing here? Has something happened? Are the kids-"

"Nothings wrong with them. On my way over Eric called to tell me he and Jenny were going to a movie. Serena and Dan are having dinner."

"Oh. Good," they stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment. Rufus was expecting Lily to make some scathing comment about it being impolite not to invite her in. But she was silent. "Did- do you want to...?" he stepped aside and she seemed to hesitate before entering the apartment. After she made herself comfortable on the couch he sat in a chair opposite her. "So if everything's ok, why did you-"

"I've decided not to marry Bart."

"Okay... Why are you telling me?"

"I don't know. I don't know why I decided, or why I caught a cab to Brooklyn. I mean, I have no logical reason to say no to him. But I just returned his ring."

"Well do you love him? Because if you don't that seems to me like a pretty good motive to turn him down. Or is love not a concern for your people? I forget sometimes."

"I have no logical reason to say no." Lily continued as if he hadn't spoken. "But then there's you."

"Me?" Rufus was thouroughly confused.

"Yes. You. The father of my daughter's new boyfriend and my son's almost grlfriend. My ex. The man I fell in love with for the first time. Who I expereienced all of my big 'firsts' with. You, who drives me crazy with your laid back attitude to everything. Your hair that... looks exactly rhe same as it did back when-"

"You dumped me for your parents money?" Lily closed her eyes and exhaled.

"I knew this was a mistake. I never should have come here." she stood up, but Rufus got in front of her, about a foot away, not letting her leave just yet.

"So why did you?"

"Because... I wanted to see you. I decided not to go through with another marriage that I knew would only end in divorce. And I wanted to talk to you. I don't understand why. But lately all I've wanted to do is talk to you. I want to laugh the way I did when I was with you. I want to be happy."

"With me?" Rufus asked, trying to keep the hope from his voice.

"Yes." Lily finally answered in a whisper. Rufus paused for a second before pulling her into his arms and kissing her. It was a kiss filled with longing. Neither of them had felt that much heat in years. Their kisses were always deep, and furiuos, as if that would be their last.

But this one was filled with a new hope. They both wanted to be happy and the person connected to their lips was the only person in the world who could make that happen.

They both knew there would be things to discuss, like how they would break this to their children. Rufus would have to finally send back the divorce papers Allison was waiting for, and Lily would have to speak with Bart about her decision, because a box on his desk was not good enough.

But at that moment as they stumbled back through the small clutterred apartment neither of them cared about anything but the feel of the other's skin.

This was what they had both always wanted. It just took them awhile to realise it.

Mika was right, Rufus decided. There were no happy endings. He didn't plan on letting this end ever again. Happy or otherwise.

COMPLETE!

Ok, so I've written and re-written this so many times. I'm done. What did you think? St? Should I give up on writing those characters right now? Let me know what you thought.