A/N: Hey ya'll I know i ain't posted anything and I feel kinda bad, but then I don't cause life has been. . .well it's been hell. I've had a lot of stuff going on like fighting with my parents, possibly moving, grades slipping, cramming for finals. Yea, I've just been trying to keep my head above water lately. It's slowed down alot though and I have a free day, so i thought I'd write something is just a random thing that is completely off the top of my head so please don't hate me if it sucks, i just need a healthy escape. Enjoy and review at the end. GothicAngel-sama out.
You
I sit here on the front step of the the house we share. The sun is setting on a another lonely day without you.
Shades of pink, blue and orange mix in the sky making it look like it's on fire.
I hate that you leave me like this. I have no idea where you are, where you've been, when you'll be home. Honestly, I can't help but wonder if I've ever crossed your mind. . .
With a sigh, I get up and brush my pants off. With a final glance at the horizon I turn and go in the house, closing the door behind me and shutting out the world. I pad to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee. I lean against the counter and close my eyes, taking deep breaths trying not to cry. I hate how I feel so weak when your gone. I hate that I cry myself to sleep night after night when I can't fall asleep in your arms.
Pulling a coffee mug from the cupboard behind me, I pour the steaming liquid into it and take a seat at the kitchen table. I sit with the mug between my hands and stare into it's inky depths. My mind wonders back to you, as it always does.
Why can't I get you off my mind? I like to think it's because I'm in love with you, but I'm not sure if I really do anymore. . .
It's sad really, there once was a time when I could just be alone and be perfectly content.
Now, I think of you.
You came into my world and turned it totally upside down. I was fine thinking that you were gone. Of course I missed you and i thought about you from time to time, but I was at peace. . .
Tears fell from my jade eyes and into my coffee, making tiny ripples. I gripped the mug tighter as sobs shook my frame, bubble gum locks falling to cover my face.
You left me without an explaination as to why. I thought you didn't love me anymore. Everyday, I cried for you. Every night, I laid awake in bed thinking of you.
Remember that necklace you gave me for my birthday? You probably don't, but I wore it everyday. I never took it off. Not to sleep, not to shower, not ever. It was the only thing that you left me with beside your memory.
I push away from the table and leave my untouched cup of coffee there. Turning off the coffee pot as I walk through, I turn off all the lights in the house and lock the front door. I make my way to my bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed. The room is illuminated by the pale moonlight filtering through the thin curtains.
I sigh heavily and wrap my arms around myself and sit there in silence, more tears streaming down my face making no attempts to wipe them away.
Do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to take off your necklace and throw it away? To just rid myself of you and everything that reminds me of you? So many times I've taken it off and stared at it. Just stared at it.
I've wanted to stop thinking of you, me, us.
I've wanted to wake up from this daydream turned nightmare and be free again, but I can't.
No matter how many times I've tried I can't.
I just can't.
There was a time when I could be without you and feel nothing, but now all I can feel is alone without you.
I miss you when your gone, but when your here, I still miss you because I know you're not really here.
Not entirely.
So, this is me doing what my heart says it's time to do.
This is me, ridding myself of you.
This is me, wiping away the last tears I'll ever shed for you.
This is me, being strong enough to say 'enough is enough'.
This is me, doing what I should have done a long time ago.
This is me, saying goodbye to the pain. To the tears. To the heartache.
This is me finally saying goodbye to you, Sasuke.
From the table beside me my phone rings and I pick it up and answer without checking the number.
"Hello?" My voice is shaky.
"Hello, Blossom. How are you?" Your silky smooth voice comes through the receiver. My heart skips a beat and my throat closes. I can't breath. "I was hoping you're still awake to answer my call. I'll be home tomorrow." You hang up the phone before i can reply and just like that you've pulled me back in.
From you, there is no escape. Every time I try to leave, every time I try to pull myself away from you, you manage to pull me right back in.
If i could go back to the day we met, I'm sorry but I would turn around and walk the other way, but now I can't.
It's really bad when I wake up in the morning and can't wait to go back to bed, but it's worse when can't even sleep because all I can think about is you, so instead I wait for the dark abyss of death to take me away.
Then.
Maybe, only then, will I be free from you.
A/N: Yea, this prolly wasn't what ya'll was expecting, but i was listening to some really depressing songs while writing this. . .ehh like it or lump it this all i gots for now, but I'll prolly be updating my 'Always the Quite Ones' fic this weekend. Dueces.
