Recently I've been reading these Squirrelflight/ Brambleclaw fics, and I can't help but write one myself. In refreshing present-tense... I just want to see how I do in present-tense. My first but hopefully not my last Warriors one-shot!
Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors.
What Herbs Can't Cure
By: Coqui's Song
Heartbreak.
One of the only things herbs cannot cure, Squirrelflight thinks bitterly as she sits down, her bushy flame-colored tail curling around her forepaws. She stares across the ThunderClan camp's clearing blankly, gazing at Brambleclaw with sorrow overflowing in her emerald eyes. She's apologized countless of times, but the dark brown tabby will never listen. He plays a horrible game of nodding to her as she desperately tries to explain why she lied to him, making her think he'll finally, finally forgive her. She looks up at him with hopeful eyes, relief that he's understood her good intentions for her sister, and that everything will be the same again. But once she's done with her story –bam! –Her hope is drained as Brambleclaw's eyes harden once more, and he turns and walks away without another word, leaving Squirrelflight staring after him, guilt and regret washing over her like a wave sweeping away the sand of the lakeshore.
Those days were a long time ago. She hasn't apologized in some time, because after a while, she just gave up trying to convince him. And because of that the tabby tom hasn't spoken to her at all, apart from ordering her to do hunting parties and border patrols, and he makes sure that he's never in the same patrol as she is.
Today is no different. The ginger she-cat turns away from the sight of her former mate, and pads to the fresh-kill pile. She brings back a mouse for herself, but she picks at it half-heartedly, wondering when, if ever, Brambleclaw will forgive her. But part of her heart knows that it will never happen.
Fine then, Squirrelflight thinks as she takes a bite of her mouse. He doesn't care for me anymore. Why should I care for him?
But it's impossible to not, and she knows it. No matter what Brambleclaw does, Squirrelflight will always love him. Even his cold, hard amber eyes give her hope. Because at least he's looking at her.
She may regret not telling Brambleclaw, but she feels no anger at all. Not towards Hollyleaf. Not to Ashfur. Not even to Leafpool, who had begged to keep the whole thing secret, even from Brambleclaw, though Squirrelflight had pleaded to tell him, if no other cat. Her sister had looked at her with desperation, saying that no cat, no matter how close, how trustworthy, could never, ever know. She'd reluctantly agreed.
"Squirrelflight," Leafpool pads up to her, paws dragging on the ground, regret in her step. Squirrelflight keeps reminding herself to not feel so sorry for herself. She isn't the only one who's suffered. Leafpool has suffered just as much, if not more. "Come hunting with me."
She stretches, and leads her sister away, leaving her mouse half-finished. "Okay," she replies, her voice harsher than she means it to be.
She walks briskly to the green forest. Newleaf has just come once more, and the air is filled with the annoying songs of birds. Squirrelflight's ears twitch in irritation at the birds' cheery tunes. How can anything be happy? It has been more than a year since Brambleclaw has looked at her with anything more than polite interest. That was the only good way he looks at her. She shies away whenever he stares at her with hatred and anger in his hard amber eyes. No love ever makes its way into his eyes, and even when she trekked to the mountains with Jayfeather, Dovewing, and Foxleap he didn't express any concern for her.
"What's wrong?" Leafpool asks, looking hurt.
"Nothing," she sighs. "It's just…just –"
"Brambleclaw," guesses her tabby sister, and Squirrelflight twitches her ear, letting Leafpool know she's right.
"I don't blame you," says Leafpool.
"That's it?" hisses Squirrelflight in annoyance. "No advice?"
"What advice is there to say?" Leafpool snaps back, a rarity. "Haven't you done all you can?"
"I don't know!" Squirrelflight mews. "I've apologized and apologized, and he never takes any notice!"
"Then only time will tell if he forgives you enough to be mates again," Leafpool shrugs and goes off to hunt, stopping to nose at some herbs.
Anything to help with heartbreak? She thinks sarcastically, then turns away to follow a thrush's scent trail. Time hasn't helped so far.
But Squirrelflight's mind isn't into hunting. She gathers her haunches to leap, but her paws skid over the forest floor, crunching the dry autumn leaves. The thrush takes off in a flurry of feathers, and the ginger warrior lashes her tail in frustration. She opens her mouth to scent the air, and follows a mouse-scent.
She sees the small creature scuttling among the leaves, and she drops into a crouch. She leaps, and she misses again.
Hissing in frustration, she stomps away to the shore of the lake, not wanting to hunt anymore. But her heart nearly stops as she sees another cat down there, staring into his reflection in the clear blue water. Not wanting confrontation, she turns away from the deputy, but it's too late, he's seen her, so she curses under her breath and goes to the lake again, settling next to the ThunderClan deputy.
There they sit in uncomfortable silence for a long time, and eventually Squirrelflight's heart just can't take anymore of this –this being right next to Brambleclaw, pelts almost brushing, and not being able to confide in him as she used to. She has to apologize… again. She'll apologize an infinite amount of times if she has to, she just wants her Brambleclaw again.
"I'm sorry," she blurts out, and the deputy blinks at her in surprise, but before he can say anything in reply, she goes on, "I didn't tell you, and I wanted to. I wanted to so, so much, Brambleclaw. But I had to help my sister. I would've told you, but… It's too late now, and one more apology may not make any difference, but I'm sorry."
Brambleclaw's voice rumbles deep in his throat. "I've been thinking of this for moons, Squirrelflight. I kept wondering if I would do it for Tawnypelt, and I'm still not sure. But I understand your loyalty to your sister. And I –I forgive you from the deepest part of my heart."
"Do you really?" she asks, careful not to get her hopes too high.
"I do," he replies.
"So… we can be together again?" she continues, inching closer to him, eyes sparkling.
His amber eyes are full of love for the first time in many, many moons, but he shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but… no. I don't think we should be mates again."
"But I love you!" she says, hurt and angry. What was the point of being forgiven if they weren't to be together anymore?
"And I love you too, Squirrelflight, but for now… I just don't think I can do it."
She shoots him an angry, tearful glare. "Why not? You don't trust me?"
He hesitates. "Yes, I trust you. But for now, let's keep separate. I don't think it's best if we go being mates again so suddenly."
He doesn't know if he trusts me, she thinks. But Squirrelflight knows he's willing to. He may not know if he does, but he wants to. And that's good enough for her.
"I guess I understand," she murmurs. "But soon, right?"
"Soon," he promises as he leans down to lick her ear. "Soon."
She sighs contentedly, and inches closer, and to her surprise, Brambleclaw doesn't back away. He allows her pelt to brush his, and Squirrelflight begins to purr in happiness. She twines her tail with his, and there the two cats stay, watching the waves crash into the shore of the lake. The bird's happy songs don't seem so annoying now that she has the Clan deputy's forgiveness. Soon, she lets Brambleclaw's words echo in her ears. Soon.
Herbs can't cure a broken heart. But a bit of closure and a lot of time can.
Did you enjoy it? Please review! I might revise it later...
~Coqui's Song