1999, May 3 5:31 PM
My name is Sakura. I am six years old. I live an average life. I go to school like a normal child. I have a family like a normal child. I have friends like a normal child. So my teachers believe. I go to school, I love to learn, and I love to be away from home. I don't have friends. I have bullies. I get picked and beaten on all the time. And last, my family. I don't really call it family, I call it jail. I don't know who my father is, he ran out on us when I was only a few days old. I live with my older brother, Ren, and my mom. I don't see Ren that much any more because he's in a place he told me was called College. My mom takes these weird pills all the time, they make her act funny. I don't like it when she takes those pills. She also likes this weird drink called Vodka, which Ren says I should never drink.
When she uses these pills and drinks the Vodka, she gets mean, and hits me. Ren says that she's just crazy or something, and that she needs to be put away. I told him she hit me once and he told me to go to the police and he'll try to be back home as soon as possible. My mom found out what I was doing and followed me to the police station and told them that I was on some medications that make me hallucinate things and that I do these things to myself.
Last year I found a way to get myself not to think about the pain my mom puts me through…I hurt myself…The only pain I feel I can handle is caused by me.
The only time I felt like I don't need to hurt myself is when my big brother is here to protect me. But one day he told me something that terrified me. He said that he won't always be here, that one day he will disappear, and I will have to fend for myself. I hope that day doesn't come soon. I don't want to be alone. I must go now, my mom is home from work and she's calling fo-…