Cast
To Ruin
Prologue
Disclaimer:Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi.
Warning: Yuri. Mature situations later.
Summary: It was an opportunity to prove herself. And Ino jumped at it without thinking, without knowing what she was making herself do. InoSaku.
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It was disappointing, to be only the second best in everything.
Ino scoffed. She wasn't even the second best. A few years back, perhaps. Now she was just the girl from the flower shop, somewhat pretty and attractive and rather fun to talk to, but not good enough, never good enough to be taken seriously. As either a woman or a shinobi, she fell squarely in the middle of the average, only another leaf, small and negligible in the vast, vast forest.
How the mighty had fallen, they jeered. And laughed.
Was it even a fall? What kind of fall that felt so painfully slow, agonizing, leaching her spirit, enthusiasm, fervour until she had nothing left in her but tired muscles and a soul with no luster or purpose? Was it even a soul when there was no longer any will to live, or to smile, or to see the sun rise in the East in the next morning and just be thankful that she was still alive?
Ino couldn't understand the change. She had been the best, the smartest, the prettiest, the bravest, the cutest, the number one in every field among the girls. She liked that. Being a center of attention was her thing. It meant the world for her. She liked to lead, to protect, and she liked the thought that she could lead and protect. It made her feel superior, useful, and she liked it.
Don't insult her, she's my friend. And you don't want to mess with me.
It was good to be able to say that. It was powerful. She still remembered the way Sakura had looked at her that day.
But something changed – something, the little unnoticeable thing that no one paid any heed to but in the end changed everything. Suddenly the story changed. Suddenly it wasn't about her being the smartest or prettiest or bravest anymore. The spotlight moved away. She was still standing on the stage but she wasn't the main character anymore, or even one of them. She became one of the other players. And not long after, she became one of the masses.
Ino couldn't help but wonder when she would finally disappear from the picture completely.
She still laughed. She still talked and ordered around a lot. She still threw biting remarks at Sakura. She still flirted with the cool guys. She still made a snide comment about Kiba and his unholy relationship with Akamaru. She still made fun of Shikamaru and Chouji. She still did everything she would have done had she been still the number one girl in the village.
But lies could only do so much.
Because one day she found herself looking at Sakura's back and thinking how different they were, how different everything seemed to be right now. It wasn't a bolt from the blue or even anything remotely surprising. She had known that for a long time, but pretending ignorance had been easier and easier still to be done.
Did it make her a coward or a loser or both? Ino didn't think she wanted to know the answer.
Sixteen years. The first half had been fine, the finest years of her life, but she tried not to let the memories linger for too long. There was nothing worse than remembering the bright golden past when all she had was the grey present. Especially because the latter half was a struggle. The world scurried past in such a blur and she was left grasping at whatever she could grasp because everyone was leaving her behind. She could only trail the cold footprints, looking at the disappearing back of her friends, hoping that she wouldn't lag behind too far, hoping that nobody would notice.
The last year had been the worst. Asuma-sensei passed away. Shikamaru changed. Chouji changed. And Sakura had never looked at her anymore. There wasn't any rivalry left between them. Not about Sasuke. Not about anything. There wasn't even 'they' anymore. There were only 'Sakura, the talented disciple of the Fifth Hokage' and 'Ino, the girl from the Yamanaka flower shop'.
Or maybe she wasn't trying hard enough.
She was. She had tried and tried, because there were things that you just don't ignore and the last word of a dying man who has been your teacher for three years is one of them. She thought that she had finally achieved something when Shizune conceded to take students and accepted her along with four others to be trained into special medic-nins.
It wasn't for her. Ino had known that the moment her training had begun. Her first day, spent among illegible scrolls and dead fishes on an operating table was hell. Her master had been disappointed. She had been disappointed.
Everyone said that she gave up too fast. Ino thought that she only hadn't found what she wanted to do. But she was too scared. She couldn't go to Shizune and say I don't want to do this. That meant she had lost and Asuma-sensei had said that she couldn't lose from Sakura. That meant she had let go of the one thing she knew she still had and Ino was too much of a coward, much too stupidly proud to admit that she had nothing left.
She was desperate. And that was why, when the Hokage put the proposal in front of her, under her nose, she jumped at the chance.
"Ino, do you have any plan for the future?"
The unexpected question, to put it mildly, surprised her. The idea that she was summoned by the Fifth Hokage to talk about her future was beyond anything her mind could possibly conceive right now. It was not to say that Tsunade didn't make a good leader or didn't care enough for her shinobi. It was just that after successfully slipping under the radar for years, her inflated little ego had taken so much beating and Ino was already so used to being ignored that this sudden display of interest took her completely by surprise.
"Plan, Godaime-sama?" she managed to say after a small, nervous laugh.
"Yes, for your future," the Hokage repeated, her face grave and her voice heavy. Again, this was highly unusual. "Do you have anything in particular in mind?"
"I… I don't think so," Ino stuttered, suddenly feeling self-conscious and guilty. She had never thought much about it. For some reasons, thinking about the future never failed to put a damp on her spirit – or what was left of it anyway.
The older woman frowned, an obvious sign of disapproval. "A proposal was made to me just two days ago," she said solemnly, "and it concerns you."
Well, that explained the display of interest. Ino tried to stay calm, not showing either her excitement or uneasiness while both vied to make her heart race faster and faster yet. This internal battle was cut short when the Fifth Hokage suddenly spoke again.
"What do you know about the ANBU, Ino?"
"It's a special force working directly under the Hokage to carry out secret missions," Ino heard herself answering hurriedly. It didn't sound as smart as she wished it would, but she was much too nervous to come up with anything better.
"'Secret' isn't exactly the right word," Tsunade replied grimly. "It's more like missions I don't want others to know we're doing, including the rest of my shinobi. The dirty ones, if you like."
Ino could only respond with a small nod. Was it possible that the Hokage was offering her a chance to join the ANBU? Her body shivered at the thought. But it was ridiculous. She wasn't even close to being anything special among her friends of the same age, let alone worthy of the attention from any special force. Her medical ability was mediocre at best and she didn't possess any skill or even anything at all others did not, except maybe her long blonde hair. But looks, as she had learned through the hard way, could only matter so much in their society. There were other things, better things a shinobi could be proud of.
"Before we begin, I need you to promise me," the older woman spoke again, looking straight into her eyes, "that not a word of our conversation here may leave the room. If it does, I'm going to hold you responsible for the breach of secrecy. Is that clear enough?"
Ino almost couldn't breathe. "Yes, Hokage-sama," she murmured, excitement rushing in her veins.
"Okay, now listen carefully." Tsunade leant back to her chair and began. "There is one special branch in the organization you know as ANBU, although I won't call it a branch. It's more like a small group of shinobis specifically trained for missions which have delicate circumstances and require stealth and disguise above all else. Do you know what I'm talking about?"
As much as she wanted to make a good impression, Ino must admit that she was at a loss. "I… I'm not sure," she answered weakly. "Isn't stealth and disguise the basic requirements of any shinobi in general? I mean, we all often handle that kind of missions."
"That's the keyword," Tsunade nodded at her. "You and your friends are shinobi. All of us are shinobi. The ANBU are shinobi. This group, well, they aren't."
Whether she was feeling more disappointed or excited or just plain confused, Ino couldn't really tell. "But Godaime-sama," she remonstrated, hesitation clear in her voice, "I only know how to be a shinobi." And to sell flowers, she added silently, but that wasn't the point.
"Well, they are basically shinobi. All kinds of ninjutsu, genjutsu and taijutsu are still needed in their line of work, but they also have lots of other additional skills too." Tsunade paused, her face strained with suppressed emotions. "Ino, I'm going to ask you to be a kunoichi."
There was a long silence before Ino could locate her voice again. "I don't understand," she said, her voice uncertain. "I am a kunoichi."
"No," the Hokage shook her head firmly, "you're not a kunoichi. You are a shinobi."
And it suddenly dawned on her. A kunoichi.
Her first intake of breath after the realization was sharp and shaky. Thousands of emotions flooded her chest, suffocating her. A kunoichi. Her.
"The additional skills," she managed to say weakly – it felt like she had to drag each word out of her dry throat. "You mean… that kind of thing?"
The look she got in return was blank. "You must understand, Ino, that a kunoichi will give her all for the sake of the mission. There isn't anything she won't sacrifice, and I'm sure you know what I mean. If you don't want to do it, don't hesitate to say no. I know it's a lot to ask from a girl – hell, it's a lot to ask from anyone – so I won't force you into this. If you decline, all I ask is don't repeat this conversation to anyone else."
Ino felt like she wanted to cry. "Why… do you want me?"
"Honestly?" There was a smile on Tsunade's face, but it was mirthless. " You're an average type of girl. You're pretty and although you may not be able to seduce any man yet, you have the potential. You're not too strong but you have a good head on your shoulders. Your chakra control is good, your accuracy is good, your knowledge is extensive enough, you have wit, you have charm. None of your skills is exceptional, but you've got the hang of them all and that is exactly what they need in their line of work."
"A bit of everything," she murmured. This whole conversation felt like a dream which had gone wrong somewhere. Her body was numb. Her mind was numb. She couldn't think anymore.
"Yes."
"And that is why you choose me?"
"That is why they choose you," a hard note entered the older woman's voice. "I'd rather not see this happening to any of you while I'm still sitting here in this seat, but sadly a Hokage doesn't always get her way."
Heavy silence fell between them for a long moment, and then suddenly the Fifth spoke again. "We are a society, Ino. People excel at different things. Many of your friends are great fighters with powerful ninjutsu. Some have ridiculous amount of chakra. Some master a superior control over their chakra. Some excel at medical skills. Some like teaching duties. We all make the society with our differences."
Ino found herself more than a little baffled. "What does it have to do with me being a kunoichi?" she asked uncertainly.
"Nothing, I'm just trying to lighten the mood with some crappy philosophy," Tsunade replied with a wry smile. "It's a tough job, you know. You must always be ready to act. You must read and analyze every single situation and what lies beneath them. You must know when to proceed and when to run. You must distinguish between the time to give and the time to steal. And because your missions will be mostly undercover, you must live, day by day, as someone else." She paused and it looked like for a moment that she wasn't going to say anything else, but then decided against it. "The most difficult of all," she added, her face grim, "is that you work alone."
Well, that was rather unexpected, Ino thought sarcastically. Of course she was going to work alone. It was absurd to think that she would work as a team in that kind of mission.
"How come nobody knows about this group?" she heard herself asking, desperate for anything to paint the offer black, to make it disgust her more because it wasn't enough. "Or is it just me?"
"Imagine that you're one of them. Do you want others to know what exactly you are doing?" the Hokage asked dryly.
A fair point. Ino could feel the bitter smile on her face. It was embarrassing enough to use your body to get information out of someone and then deal with the knowledge in the private confines of your heart and confront any morale conception. Letting other people know was simply unthinkable.
"I don't think my parents will agree," she said quietly, not looking into the older woman's eyes.
Tsunade snorted. "No parent will ever agree to this kind of thing. That's why they usually recruit orphans. This one occasion is an exception because they are desperate. There are only three of them left in Konoha and they haven't had any new candidate in thirty years."
She looked up quickly, a question on the tip of her tongue, but the Hokage beat her to it. "And yes, before you ask, this job has a high mortality rate."
"Being a shinobi has a high mortality rate," she mumbled, petulance shading her voice. Offering this… chanceto her was unfair. If she refused, it would look like she didn't have the guts to do it.
To her surprise, a grin cracked the older woman's face. "I like that, you have spirit," Tsunade said mildly. "Don't feel burdened, Ino. I ask you because that's my obligation as a Hokage. I'm a woman. I know what it means to ask a sixteen-year-old girl to do this."
Ino struggled to take a deep breath. "My parents cannot know?"
"Nobody can know. Not your parents, not your closest friends, nobody. I and the other kunoichi are the only ones who have the privilege to know, if you can call it that."
"How is it even possible?"
"By keeping our mouth shut," Tsunade answered grimly. "If you decide to say yes, we'll announce that you are recruited by the ANBU, which is actually not too far from the truth if you think about it. The rest is just discretion. And people learn not to ask too much when it concerns the ANBU."
This was madness. She shouldn't even consider the offer. She was a shinobi. A proud one. A broken one, a small cynical voice supplied in her head. A desperate one.
"I accept, Hokage-sama," the answer had left her mouth before she realized it. Ino had to resist an urge to raise her hand to her mouth as the horror, the realization of what she had just said caught up with her. This entire sequence, however, didn't seem to escape the Fifth.
"Look, I can give you a day for you to think about it. You don't have to–"
"No," she shook her head, silently wishing that her voice could sound stronger. "I accept the offer. I will be a kunoichi."
Tsunade looked straight into her eyes, as if sensing something which wasn't quite right. "There will be no turning back," she stated, her voice hard.
"I'm not looking for any." Ino heard herself answering. All she could feel was the desperation to do something. To prove herself. She was desperate enough to do anything.
Ino smiled grimly. Yes, she was exactly that desperate.
End Prologue
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A/N: The term'kunoichi' that I use here refers to the original meaning. Quoting Wikipedia: "...real-life kunoichi were trained differently than male ninja. Their training focused more on disguise, poisons, and using their gender to an advantage. While they were trained in close combat, they were only to make use of this knowledge when they were caught. They would usually disguise themselves as geisha, prostitutes, entertainers, fortunetellers, and the like to get very close to the enemy. Generally, they would seduce the soon-to-be victim and when they get close enough, they would poison them." I realize that Kishimoto-sensei doesn't use this meaning, but that's why this is a fanfiction, right?
Not much InoSaku yet in the prologue, but they'll come soon. Thank you for reading and please review!
