Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek in any way shape or form and make nothing from this ficlet.
A/N:A Special Thanks to drivven who beta'd. Written in response to a challenge over at the st_xi_kink_meme.

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Kirk walked into the med bay and promptly turned around and walked out. He squeezed his eyes and shook his head trying to rid himself of the image of two of his friends going at it like rabbits. He would be the first to admit that they were both handsome men... but there were some things, certain parts of the body, that you never ever wanted to see in action... and didn't they know what a privacy lock was for?

Briefly he wondered if they had heard him and his embarrassed 'eep'. He put his ear to the door and sure enough the sounds proved that they either didn't hear him or didn't care that he was there. That was a scary thought.

He'd ask Spock to help him do a mind scrub later. Right now he needed to protect his crew by keeping them safely out of the den of horrors. Oh and they did need protected, they just didn't know it yet. Lucky them.

A few minutes into his door watch a very unlucky Uhura happened to need to visit the sick bay. Kirk had tried and tried to convince her that she didn't really need to go in there, right that very minute, to turn around and come back in ten fifteen minutes and did she listen to him? Nooooooo! What did HE know anyway.

He had never seen anyone go from red to green as quickly as she had. Kirk decided that: A.) she should have listened to him and that B.) she should be very glad she was a human instead of an Orion. Green so wasn't her color.

It was only through the intervention of Nurse Chapel that the two men stopped doing the dirty deed; meaning she walked in there, screamed at them, and hit them on the back of their heads. She didn't mind the sight of her doctor banging away on the helmsman. She did however mind them desecrating the sanctity of HER Med Bay!

Captain Kirk thanked her for her intervention and told her he would put a special commendation in her file. Then he went in search of Spock. Really if he was ever going to look those two men in the eye again he needed his brain bleached like NOW.

~Fin