Sideline Tragedy

Title: Sideline Tragedy (sorry, title kinda sucks. I'm bad at naming things)

Summary: The focus on the tragedy going on with the side characters during the final battle in The Deathly Hallows. Slightly AU, Tonks' perspective.

Pairing: Remus/Tonks

Rating: PG (don't think there's anything too bad in here, if you can handle the book you can handle this fic)

Spoilers: The Deathly Hallows (7th book)

Disclaimer: These characters and settings and whatnot don't belong to me. I stole them and gave them a new home, I'm not willing to put them back the way I found them because I found them in such a sad state, but I do promise not to make any money off them.

A/N: This is just a short fic. I wrote most of it as soon as I read the seventh book and then it just sat on my hard drive for a few months collecting dust. Then I got bored and decided to finish and post it. It was basically my way of dealing with J. K. R.'s cruel treatment of my favourite characters. Kinda angsty but I tried to give it a semi-happy ending. Also, first (posted) fic and no beta, so if you see mistakes, let me know. Also, I know you're sick of hearing this but please review, it's the first fic I've posted so any feedback is appreciated. Anyways, I'll let you get to it now ...

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Nymphadora Tonks had never been so scared in her life. Her hair was slowly turning white as she ran around the Hogwarts grounds searching for her husband. She pushed through Order members and Death eaters alike. Students were dueling with Death Eaters all around her, people were dying, but she didn't really see any of it in her desperation to find Lupin.

"Remus!" she screamed for the umpteenth time, hoping against hope that this time he'd hear her, that someone had seen him. When no one even turned around to look this time she felt a wave of hopelessness sweep over her. She glanced around urgently and something caught her eye. She moved toward a Death Eater a few meters away who summoned a knife from nearby and flung it at a concealed figure. Her heart jumped into her throat as the Death Eater turned around and she recognized Dolohov's face smirking as he moved away to find his next victim.

Please don't be Remus, please don't be Remus She thought as she moved towards the figure lying on the floor with a knife in his chest. Apparently whatever gods were out there weren't listening because as she came closer she recognized her husbands features and dropped to the floor beside him, tears streaming down her face. Remus looked over at the sound of her sobs.

"Dora?" he asked weakly, his brows furrowing in confusion as well as pain, "what're you doing here? Where's Teddy?"

"Teddy's safe with mom," Tonks reassured him, lifting his head into her lap and stroking his cheek with her hand as tears continued to stream down hers, "I came here because I was scared for you. I wanted to help."

"You shouldn't have come," Remus responded, worried, "It's dangerous, I don't want you to get hurt, Teddy needs his mom."

Tonks laughed bitterly, amazed that Remus could worry about her safety at a time like this.

"Don't you worry about me," she told him, trying to pull herself together, "what's important is that we have to get you out of here. Back into Hogwarts, to find somewhere safe. Do you think you can move? Should I take the knife out? Oh I wish I'd learned more healing spells."

"Dora!" Remus lifted a hand to try to stop her rambling but he was too weak and his arm fell back useless against his side. "It's too late. I'm too weak to move and too heavy for you to carry me. You need to go back to safety, back to Teddy."

"No!" Tonks cried, refusing to accept what he was saying, "I'm not leaving you. This is ridiculous. I'm a witch, I can fix this. I can heal you, there's a spell, I know there is, there must be, I'm not going to let you die."

"You don't have a choice Dora," Remus told her calmly, "if you take out the knife I'll die, you won't have time to cast a spell, and you can't cast one as long as it's in, I won't heal."

"Well then I'll take you to safety," Tonks repeated, "I'll levitate you behind me."

Remus tried to laugh at this but coughed up blood in the process and turned somber again, forcing his wife to meet his eyes.

"Look around you Tonks," he said practically, "we're in the middle of a battlefield. Every moment you spend here you're in danger. If you start walking along with a bod-"

"Remus!" Tonks exclaimed but Lupin continued.

"If you start walking along with a body floating behind you, you'll be even more of a target. We'll both be targets."

"I don't care!" Tonks screamed at him sobbing and dropping her head onto his chest. Remus winced briefly then lifted his arm with a huge amount of effort and rested it on the back of her head, stroking her hair.

"I want you safe," she whimpered into his chest and he smiled sadly.

"I want you safe too Nymphadora," he responded, "which is why you need to promise me you'll go back. Go back to our beautiful son. I want you both safe. The loves of my life."

"I won't leave you," she whispered, barely audible, "I'll never leave you."

Remus smiled sadly and closed his eyes, memorizing the feel of Nymphadora Tonks, cupping her cheek in his hand. Tonks lifted her head to look at him and a feeling of desperation swept over her once again as she finally saw that there was nothing she could do. Remus opened his eyes sleepily and looked up at his wife one more time.

"I think that's my line," he told her, "something about watching over you or something. Never leaving. Oh well, as long as we agree that we'll still be together … in a way. Although … I want you happy … even if that means …"

"No," said Tonks defiantly, a look of horror on her face, "Don't you dare start on that moving on and finding love bullshit. There are only two men in my life, you and Teddy, and that's all there'll ever be."

Remus smiled at her again as he fought to keep his eyes open.

"I love you Dora, always." He told her, wanting that to be the last thing he said. As she let out another anguished sob he tried to wipe the new tears away but it was getting harder to move his thumb. Harder the keep his arm from falling again.

"I love you too Remus John Lupin." she responded, taking in a shaky breath. Then she bent down to kiss him one last time, gently, on the lips. Her hair flushed pink as her lips brushed against his before settling on a somber black as she slowly pulled away to look into his eyes again. He smiled up at her one last time, his eyes trying to convey everything else that was unsaid, trying to reassure her before they drifted shut again for the last time.

"Always." She whispered before letting out one last anguished sob as suddenly the bubble that seemed to surround her and Remus burst and the sounds of battle that had so far gone unnoticed by her became deafening. Then she took a deep breath and turned away from him, feeling suddenly empty. Part of her sought vengeance. Part of her wanted to rip the knife out of her dead husbands chest and use it to slit Dolohov's throat. Part of her wanted to just rip into any Death Eater she could get her hands on. Wanted to snap Greyback's neck and scratch out Bellatrix's eyes. Part of her wanted to march off and find Voldemort herself and rip him apart with her own hands. Part of her just wanted to rush out there and get herself killed by one of those Death Eaters just so it wouldn't hurt anymore. But she couldn't listen to those parts of herself. She had to be strong, for Teddy, for Remus.

Nymphadora Tonks, no Nymphadora Lupin drew herself up with an air of perfect calm and walked back towards Hogwarts. Curses and Hexes flew all around her but she didn't seem to see them. At some point she was vaguely aware of Voldemort's voice sounding throughout the grounds. The battle stopped and members of the Order, teachers and students began to collect bodies and drag them back towards the Great Hall. Tonks didn't follow them. She didn't want to face the other grievers. As she walked aimlessly through the halls of Hogwarts, not really paying any attention to her surroundings until she bumped into George Weasley.

"Sorry," muttered George, reluctantly looking up into Tonks' face, when he saw who it was a wave of sympathy and regret passed over his features, "Tonks!" He exclaimed and then his face settled back into a mask of misery that matched her own. "I wasn't looking where I was going, I'm sorry."

Tonks was shocked to see such pain on a face that was usually all smiles. She remembered how even when he lost his ear he had begun a slew of ear-related jokes in response. Another wave of anger washed over her for whatever the Death Eaters had done to hurt him so.

"I'm sorry too George, I wasn't really paying attention either." She responded and for an awkward moment neither of them spoke.

"I'm … I'm really sorry about Remus," George told her awkwardly, "he was a really great guy, and I'm gonna miss him."

"Yeah," she answered, her voice barely above a whisper, "me too."

Another awkward silence fell over them in which both reflected on their own pain. They each intended to find a place to wallow in their own misery and yet neither was willing to leave the other behind, somehow comforted by the other's silent presence. Finally Tonks spoke up.

"I've never seen you so sad, George," Tonks started, trying to raise the subject of what was wrong with him. Surprise flashed on George's face and for a brief, stupid moment Tonks thought he was surprised she'd got his name right, then it occurred to her, "did something happen to one of you brothers? Did something happen to Fred?"

George nodded, tears welling up in his eyes and Tonks felt a sudden wave of sympathy for him.

"I tought you knew," choked George, "his … his body was right next to Remus's"

Another sudden wave of anguish passed over Tonks at the mention of Remus' body and it was all she could do to suppress a sob as tears streamed down her face once again.

"I didn't go to the Great Hall," she told George, "I couldn't bear to see him there … couldn't bear everyone else asking about him."

"Yeah," George nodded understandingly, "I know what you mean. That's why I left. My whole family's there, and everyone else. It just … it got claustrophobic after a while. I didn't want them to see me like this. I didn't … I didn't want … Fred … to see me like this."

Tonks smiled sadly at George and nodded. He looked down at the floor again before continuing.

"I know he wouldn't want me to be like this. He'd want me to be happy, to be running around joking about how now no one will have trouble telling us apart and … how … at least we had a spare … even though I'm a little busted up. But I can't do any of that. Not now … maybe not ever. I mean he was my brother … my partner … in business … and in crime," he smiled bitterly at this, remembering his and his brother's crazy antics that seemed so ridiculously unimportant now, "I mean … we shared a womb! We've never been apart before, not really. And now … I feel like … like …"

"Like there's a piece of you missing," Tonks supplied, also staring intently at the floor, "like a piece of your soul just got ripped away and you don't really know how to go on without it."

"Yeah," George agreed, "guess you know how I feel, don't you? Isn't that pathetic? Me and Fred being like a married couple. Guess I'm the only husband … or wife I guess … that he's ever gonna have now."

"I barely even got to spend any time with Remus," Tonks muttered, not quite sure if she was talking to George or to herself, "there always seemed to be something getting in the way. All his stupid insecurities. All those Order missions. A few precious months is all we ever really had together."

They fell into silence again. Neither was quite sure what to say so they simply retreated into their own thoughts. The silence wasn't really awkward but it wasn't entirely comfortable either. They both felt like they were just existing, only half-aware of the other's presence.

The silence was broken as once again Voldemort's voice sounded across the grounds. George ground his teeth and Tonks clenched her first, her hair flashing an angry red. The two of them joined the crowd that began heading out to meet Voldemort and see the body of the boy who lived.

When the fight broke out again Tonks couldn't resist joining in. She tried not to be overcome by a death wish. For Teddy's sake she needed to live, but she couldn't just retreat to safety like Remus had wanted. She slowly allowed her thirst for vengeance to overcome her. At first she simply fought off any death eater unlucky enough to get in her way, but then she caught site of Dolohov in the crowd.

It wasn't an epic battle. It wasn't as satisfying as she had hoped either. Dolohov died at her hands the same way the other death eaters she'd faced had. Afterwards she only felt emptier. Her rage was fueled again though as she considered that Remus had been just another kill to Dolohov too. Nothing special. The life of her love, her heart, snuffed out in an instant for no real reason, without even a second thought from his killer. She wanted to cry all over again but she shut out her pain and focused on her rage instead, channeling it into the battle.

Time seemed insignificant and hazy in the heat of battle. With the emotional turmoil she was experiencing she was certain that she wasn't fighting at her best and she was amazed that she hadn't been killed yet. It all seemed easier somehow even though the thought that anything would be easier was laughable. Eventually the outer turmoil died down although inside she was still reeling. She looked around, trying to get her bearings, and everyone was simply standing there, staring. Tonks didn't understand how they could seem so calm, how they could just stand there. She wanted them to fight, to do something. The last thing she wanted was to be calm. In an attempt to understand what was going on, Tonks followed their gazes. Harry and Voldemort were facing off, it seemed that the boy who lived had gotten the kind of epic showdown she'd been desiring. Only it wasn't so epic either. In fact, before she even really knew what was happening it was over. Voldemort was dead, for real this time. The battle was done. Tonks stood there numbly while a flurry of activity began around her. Once she could move again it was only to retreat, to leave behind prying eyes.

There was nothing really left for her to do but to go home. As Tonks approached the door to her house she paused, feeling torn. On the one hand there was nothing she wanted more than to hold her son again, to hold Remus' son again. But that very thought scared her. She didn't know if she could face her mother, or look into Teddy's eyes knowing that they'd never see his father again. Taking a deep, steadying, breath, Tonks walked through the door and was almost immediately met by her mother.

"Nymphadora!" yelled Andromeda Tonks as she rushed to the door to meet her daughter, "Finally, you're home! I was so worried."

As Andromeda pulled her into a hug, Tonks tried in vain to remember the safe feeling that the warmth of her mother's arms had once provided. Realizing that something was wrong, Andromeda pulled back and looked searchingly into Tonks' vacant eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice suddenly filled with motherly concern as she took in her daughter's bruises, cuts, and torn clothes, "Are you hurt? Is Remus hurt? Where is he? Did you find him?"

Tonks struggled to find answers to the barrage of questions but found her voice failing her as her eyes suddenly filled with tears and a knot of emotion formed in her throat. She saw her pain instantly reflected in her mother's eyes as she was once again pulled into a tight embrace. This time Tonks felt herself falling into the embrace, tears spilling over as she began sobbing freely.

"He's gone," she finally sobbed, as her mother tried to offer what little comfort she could, "he's gone. I couldn't save him. I tried. I tried but I was too late and now he's gone. I … I can't … I can't …"

At this point words again failed her and were drowned out by agonizing sobs. Andromeda whispered soothing words of comfort into her daughter's hair, knowing it did little to ease her pain.

Tonks didn't know how long she stayed crying in her mother's arms like a child, her sense of time still hadn't returned. Eventually she was interrupted by the cries of a real child, her child.

"Teddy," she whispered hoarsely as she finally pulled away. Again, Tonks took a deep breath to pull herself together. She would grieve later, right now her son needed her. As she looked around, trying to once again gain her bearings, she caught sight of the pain in her mother's eyes. Most of that pain was for her, Tonks knew, and for Remus and Teddy, but there was a deeper pain there too, for her own husband, her own Ted. Tonks smiled sadly, knowing that her mother understood her pain, and felt the injustice of it, before heading upstairs to find her son.

When she entered Teddy's room, Tonks was wary, she wasn't quite sure how she'd react when she saw her son again. What she wasn't prepared for was the joy and relief she felt when she saw her son's face break into a smile when he saw her, his hair changing from an angry red to a bubbly pink instantly. Pink, she knew, was her special colour, the colour he associated with his mother. It would seem that his angry cries from only moments ago had been nothing but a plea for attention. Picking him up, Tonks finally felt a wave of calm sweep over her. Looking at his face and seeing Remus' eyes staring back at her was bittersweet, but no matter what had happened, no matter how unfair it was, at least she had this. For the first time since she had seen her husband fall, Nymphadora Tonks Lupin knew that she would be okay, just as long as she had Teddy. She smiled, her first genuine smile in what felt like an eternity, and Teddy gurgled happily in response.