A/N: title and lyrics from the song by Chrissie Hynde
I'll stand by you
take me in, into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
Since Data's reassignment to the Enterprise, and the ship's recovery and refitting, things had progressed in fairly mundane fashion. So mundane, in fact, that Data and Leo were due to return to the Daystrom Institute. Leo secretly had been happy to have had a little time to get to know Lieutenant B'rok, who had been returned to the administrative exec post after helping Data and Commander Tassaverde with the restoration of science and computer systems. Ensign Robinson had receded into the general crew population. Very gratefully, if the truth be known, though she kept that detail to herself.
"I'll bet the captain is very happy to have an A.E. who is, ah, not inclined to emotional displays?" Leo suggested to her replacement, rather carefully. B'rok certainly was pleasant and not at all cold, as Leo had expected, but she found herself intimidated by his absolute sense of self control, not to mention his even more absolute genius. She'd too often wrestled with herself on the edge of emotional chaos not to notice its absence in Lt. B'rok.
"I thank you for the observation," he told her as they finished going over Leo's "secret back door communications list" that she'd compiled for use when expedience trumped protocol. B'rok had appeared impressed, but Leo didn't believe he'd ever take advantage of it anytime soon. "The captain does appreciate a sense of order in interpersonal interactions," B'rok continued, then confessed, "However I suspect he sometimes would welcome more... color. I am not sure if that's an accurate term, but it is the impression he gives. And I am not a logical choice to provide that."
"On the contrary I think that's very accurate," Leo was smiling a little wistfully. "We definitely did work some 'color' into the ready room." Now she stifled a laugh. "Took a lot of work, actually, but I'm glad to see it took." B'rok was looking baffled. "Not to worry, Lieutenant. Captain Picard takes people exactly as they are, regardless of any other impression he might give. And he'll appreciate and take advantage of the best you have to offer, and probably help you discover some things in yourself you never knew existed. And while emotionally I'm a little disappointed to be succeeded by someone who can so outmatch me in satisfying the captain's rage for order and logic…" the wistfulness left her smile," the rest of me is so relieved to know in some ways he's in better hands than mine ever were."
"Hands?" B'rok inquired. "My function is not to 'handle' the captain."
"Well I have you bested there," Leo laughed, "captain-handling is a key skill required of an A.E. and they don't teach it at the Academy. But it only comes with direct experience." She leaned toward the perplexed Vulcan and added in a stage whisper, "And it must remain a 'trade secret', upon pain of, well, things you can't even imagine." Leo figured there was simply no way to explain "The Eyebrow" to a Vulcan.
Leo had noticed Picard looking a little grey and weary in the days approaching her return to Daystrom, something she made bold to mention the day prior to hers and Data's scheduled departure.
"Lieutenant, allow me to point out that I had a mother who requires no replacement." His (former) admin exec's expression segued from a brow furrowed by concern to a narrow-eyed glare.
"With all due respect sir, allow me to point out that my mandate encompasses any and all means by which I might aid the commander of the Enterprise in his administration of ship's affairs. This would include noting his personal health, or the apparent lack of it."
Picard sat heavily behind his desk and ran a hand over his eyes. "Now that your 'mandate' is concluded, I don't suppose it would do me any good to quote a regulation to counter that assumption?"
"Not so much, sir." She leaned forward against the desk. "No kidding, captain, you look a little… depleted?" It was plain that "a little grey" hadn't been a metaphor; his color was definitely off.
"Now why couldn't I have returned you to Daystrom just a few days earlier?" Picard sighed, "Perhaps I'd have been left in peace."
"By a Vulcan? Oh sure, a Vulcan wouldn't notice a thing!" Not to mention I've been giving him a little coaching, Leo thought slyly to herself.
"A Vulcan would have known his place." Oh Picard, that was a button well-pushed he congratulated himself silently, but was too honestly weary to raise The Eyebrow. This did not go unnoticed.
"Permission to speak extremely freely?" Leo hadn't intended to get caught up in their usual wordplay; he really did look ill and it alarmed her. He answered with only a nod.
"Then I'd like to go on the record as observing that the captain looks like hell. Sir."
"On top of things as usual, Lieutenant. I feel like hell." She appeared as surprised to hear him admit it as he was to have done so. "Considering the events of recent months I suppose I'm entitled."
No more smartass, Leo was all business now. "Shall I contact Beverly to request a diagnostic appointment?" Not that he couldn't do it himself but she was worried that if he felt even a particle better in a few minutes he'd never do it at all. And it was laughably unlikely that he'd have his new A.E. make the request.
"I can handle that myself, thank you." He noticed her doubtful eye. "You may check my communications log if you require proof." Then the stiffness went out of his voice. "Thank you Leo. I do count on you to thrust the obvious in my face when necessary." He paused, and corrected himself. "Did count on you."
"No place that far, sir," she reminded him and stood straight again. "Will there be anything else? I think I've brought Lt. B'rok up to speed on any operations matters that might have been overlooked."
"Yes, I'm sure you have, god help me," Picard mused with a weak smile.
Leo ignored the comment. "I have some packing to finish, and a little preliminary subspace communication so I can catch up on whatever foul mess Dr. Grayson has made of my database specs in my absence. So if there's nothing else..."
"No thank you, Lieutenant, dismissed. I hope you and Commander Data will have time to join me in my quarters for dinner before your departure tomorrow."
"Only I if I can cook!" Leo grinned. Just before she left she turned and wagged a finger at the captain. "Don't forget to contact Beverly…"
"Yes, mother," Picard sighed.
But Picard hadn't contacted Beverly. He'd gone straight to his quarters for a lie-down, which is where Beverly had found him hours later after rushing there in answer to the "distressed life signs" alarm that woke her from a sound sleep.
The comlink announced at high volume, then seconds later announced again. It fairly screamed. Leo checked the chronometer by the bed… 0300 hours? What the hell?
"Commander LaForge, Commander Data, Lieutenant O'Reilly, report to captain's ready room immediately."
It was the computer-lady voice, not the captain's, and that got more than the usual attention from both Leo and Data. Data, who had been attending to some last minute science/ops reviews, responded.
"Computer, details of situation?"
"Report immediately," was the only reply.
Leo was up and dressed in seconds. Uniform flung on, hair loose and unbrushed, she knew only that an emergency was at hand. As if they needed yet another one. Data, of course, was always prepared for such things.
"D, what could be happening?" Leo asked as they made their way to the turbolift. "I don't recall the captain ever giving over control to the ship's computer."
"I cannot venture a guess," Data admitted before announcing, "Bridge."
Data, Leo and Geordi arrived in the ready room to find an ashen-faced Riker seated at the captain's desk. Lt. B'rok was already there, as was Commander Tassaverde.
"Where's the captain?" Leo's first words. Even at 3am, certain things were to be expected.
Riker straightened. "Stiffened" might have been a better word. "Captain Picard is in sick bay."
"Ha, I knew he was sick!" Leo announced to Geordi and Data. "I'm just glad he went ahead and got his diagnostic. I'd hate to have been there to see Beverly condemn him to bed rest…"
She would have continued but Riker cut her off sharply. "Lieutenant!" When she jumped, and stared at him, he softened his voice. "The captain is in stasis. His artificial heart suffered a catastrophic failure at 0224 hours. Luckily Beverly could beam him direct to sick bay and get him stabilized before his condition could degrade."
It was as if the room had decompressed. Even Data's mouth hung open, prepared to speak, but his positronic brain couldn't bring forth a sensible observation.
"It's why he looked so grey in the face," Leo muttered to herself. She looked at Will. "I should have ignored that 'I'll take care of it' crap, I should have told you, or Beverly…"
Will was shaking his head. "We all knew something wasn't quite right. And we all know that the fact is that nobody but the captain will run the captain's affairs, no matter what we think."
Data found his voice first, of course. "Where will the captain be sent for replacement of the artificial heart?"
"Starbase 515, at the same facility that implanted this one," Will explained, relieved to have something concrete to address.
"515?" Leo echoed. "But it'll take a week to get there! And if this heart 'catastrophically failed' how do they know the next one won't? Do they have different models ready to implant?" She'd been only vaguely aware of the captain's mechanical heart. Artificial organs were fairly commonplace in the current century. But "catastrophic failure" ??
"The captain's heart was specifically designed based upon his physiology," Data clarified, "There are no interchangeable 'models' that may be substituted." Addressing Riker he added, "The staff at Starbase 515 will have to determine what caused the failure before a new heart may be designed and implanted."
Will's grim expression deepened. "Data's right. Beverly's transmitting as much of the diagnostics of the failed heart to Starbase 515 as possible, but they may have to analyze the unit itself to get all the answers."
"If it's all right I'd like to get right to sick bay and see what I can do to help," Geordi offered, already half out of his chair.
"Absolutely," Will told him and, seemingly as an afterthought, added, "dismissed. Keep me updated."
Geordi's "Yes, sir," was swallowed by the hiss of the closing doors as he rushed out of the ready room.
Silence fell again until Leo asked in a faltering voice, "So this stasis, it can continue indefinitely right? Kind of like suspended animation?" Medical technology of the 24th century was one area Leo was woefully deficient in. Other than first aid basics it wasn't something she'd had to think much about, given her administrative rank. "Stasis" to her meant something similar to when Data had been switched off when he was awaiting repairs.
Data hesitated a moment, casting an eye at Riker who nodded for him to go ahead. "That is not entirely correct. A stasis field greatly slows down biological activity on a cellular level. It contains enough oxygen to maintain cellular life but normal cell activity is barely discernible even by Dr. Crusher's medical instruments. Such a low level of function can be maintained for an extended period of time, much longer than was possible in the 21st century. But eventually cellular breakdown will occur." Leo had barely opened her mouth when, as always, her husband anticipated her question. "The length of time is dependent upon the individual's general condition, and the affected organs. The captain is in superior general health," Data consciously "punched up" his adjective to reassure Leo, "and only one organ has been affected. I believe the analysis of the problem and replacement of the captain's artificial heart will take place well within safety parameters."
Had they been in their quarters Leo would have responded, "Bullshit." She could tell when Data was stretching the capabilities of an android's "honesty programming", and right now his were fairly humming with tensile strain. She faked confidence in his explanation but told him, "From your mouth to Starbase 515's ear."
"There's no need for this to delay your return to Daystrom," Will informed Data and Leo. "Your shuttle will depart as scheduled, 2100 hours tomorrow," he checked the desk chronometer and corrected, "tonight. Of course we'll keep you informed on… everything."
"I am completely confident that Commander Tassaverde will perform admirably," Data offered with a nod to the commander. After a second or two he cut a look at Leo, who had remained silent.
Leo responded to Data's "visual nudge", "Right, yes, and I have to say that Lieutenant B'rok shames me in too many respects to name."
Immediate business concluded, Captain Riker ended the briefing. "Lieutenant B'rok, please contact Starfleet Command, coded subspace. I have to bring them up to speed."
"Coded, sir?" B'rok inquired.
"Not a good idea to let anyone else know that the captain of the Enterprise is out of commission," Riker reminded him.
"But you are the captain of the Enterprise, sir," B'rok reminded him.
"Maybe, but not for long, I hope," Riker muttered, and even Data couldn't fail to notice his unease.
When they'd returned to their quarters Data finished the packing he'd begun the day before. Leo's packing remained incomplete as she sat silently on the sofa lost in thought. After he'd placed his containers by the door to await transport to the shuttle bay Data asked, "Would you like me to complete assembling your possessions?" When she didn't reply immediately he sat next to her on the sofa and took her hand.
"I understand that this is upsetting for you. You are worried for the captain, but you must remember that it is very unlikely that he will sustain lasting illness or injury. All that is required is being done."
She blinked, shook her head. "They're doing 'everything medically possible', right? Some phrases remain unchanged, forever. But what if 'everything medically possible' isn't enough?"
"Once we are back at the Daystrom Institute you will be able to establish continuous contact with Dr. Crusher, and Geordi. You will know everything that is happening."
Leo took a breath and looked Data in the eye. "No. I can't do that."
"You cannot do what?"
"I can't go back, not yet. Not while it's all up in the air."
Now Data took Leo's other hand in his and squeezed gently. "I understand why you wish to stay, but you cannot help the captain now."
"No, you don't understand." Leo pulled her hands away and stood up. "I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."
Data's eyes narrowed as he processed this, but he was forced to wait for her to explain.
"I'm not going to turn my back again and continue life as usual and wait for a call in the middle of the night. I'm not going to walk away just because I'm too scared to consider what might happen. Some mistakes are final and I'm not going to do it this time… not again."
"Cara mia," Data coaxed, finally understanding. "You are remembering your friend Paul, and your denial of the grave nature of his illness." Her look told him he was right, and he went to her to reassure, "The captain is not suffering from a terminal illness." No response, so he added, "This is different."
"I can't believe you just said that," Leo replied in a flat voice, then announced firmly, "I've made up my mind. I'm not leaving while he's in stasis. Some things are more important than…" She thought for a moment… Protocol? Logic?.. then concluded, "anything." Leo didn't feel agitated or angry; her tone was casually final and her expression immovably resolute.
The Forever Face had met its match, Data realized. "Please, tell me."
Leo sat down again, and again Data settled next to her. "D, when the Scimitar blew up I disappeared into this black, empty place. Nothing got in, I wouldn't let anything in, and I was just, well, you could say I was in stasis."
She waited to see if he would try to correct her, but he didn't. He reached an arm around her and encouraged, "Please, tell me everything."
"So there I was, looking alive but not being alive, not really, and if I'd been left alone I'd never have come out. I don't know what would have happened. But he was there, every minute even when he didn't know what the hell to do about it, even if I didn't see or hear him, even when I tried to drive him away, he was there, waiting for an opening, I knew it even if I didn't want to. And when finally, finally I started to stumble back awake he was right here," she held her hand up flat between hers and Data's faces, "right here and he stayed with me all that first day and night, right there next to me. He didn't baby me, he knew exactly what I could do and he made me do it. Or made me know I could. Am I making sense here?"
Data gave her a kiss and assured her, "Yes. You are saying you were lost, and the captain found you."
"That's it exactly!" Leo nodded rapidly. "Even when I was as dead-to-the-world, in a way, as he is now, he waited for me to come back and helped me get started again. And I am not going to repay that by rolling up my swag and going away when he's lying there in the dark. I'm gonna wait for him to come back, like he did for me. You remember, D, back when he threw so much behind us on that legal crapshoot so we could be together, I promised him I'd always, always do the same, be the same for him. Even if nobody else understands this, it's what I have to do. Because if he does wake up, he'll understand it. And if he doesn't wake up, well..." she sucked in a shaky breath, "I'll know I haven't made the same mistake twice."
"Very well." Data framed Leo's face with both hands and rested his forehead against hers. "You know that whatever you decide you must do, I will support you in any way you require." He drew back to look her in the eye. "I would love no other."
With the destruction of the e-chip in the Scimitar incident, the power of analogs bound them more closely than ever before. Finally Leo allowed herself a gulp on the edge of tears, and buried herself in her husband's arms.
"That's all I'll ever need," she swore to him. "No matter how this turns out."