Pairing: House/Cuddy
Rating: M
Category: AUish angst?
Spoilers: If there are any they are accidental - I haven't seen season 3 yet, not even season 2 wholly.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show nor the characters.
Summary: She was lonely, he got her drunk.
Author's notes: This is a very rambly story I wrote one day, I hope it's not too confusing. I haven't edited it much and it hasn't been beta'd.
They had sex once or twice, years ago. They were both drunk and heart-broken. He was there and she was there and one drink lead to another and the sixth one to her bed.
They were both used to it. Using sex to avoid dealing with problems, using sex to dull the pain. They didn't need relationships,they told themselves. She had one night stands, he had hookers - or girls he wanted to make feel bad by leaving a twenty dollar bill on their nightstand. This time they had each other.
It was intense. They were both pretending that it didn't matter much, that they didn't matter much, - and it didn't, not at the time, but still, they were clinging to each other desperately. Clasping hands, tangling legs, leaving bruises and scratches and kisses behind.
They never talked about it afterwards. Never, unless you counted his snappy remarks that she rolled her eyes at, fooling even herself to think he was just out of his mind hinting such things.
He got on with his life. There was Stacy, there was Cameron. She still had her one night stands and her dates and her short-lived relationships, there were her fertility treatments.
He was angry and miserable and hurt. She was afraid of becoming bitter and sad. She was already sad sometimes, when she was alone in her apartment, watering her plants and cooking dinner, or coming back to an empty house from her daily running. Sometimes it was okay, sometimes she liked solitude.
He was better off alone and most of the time she couldn't stand him. He was stubborn and annoying. She didn't really want him, she knew it would never work out. He'd never change, she'd never change. She knew there was a part of him that was sweet and caring and sometimes he let it slip out, accidently, and she had to fight hard not to fell for him.
She didn't want him to change. He didn't need to change because he was brilliant as he was, in all his arrogance and rudeness, but she understood they could never be. They could never be because neither of them would give up anything to make it work. They wouldn't sell their souls to the devil, fail themselves to make it right, they wouldn't risk ruining their relationship to try uncertain happiness in an uncertain relationship with an uncertain person.
Their relationship worked when they stayed away from each other emotionally. When they were bickering and fighting and having fun doing it. They had known each other for years and their relationship had settled into comfortable routines neither of them wanted to change. He did something idiotic, she yelled at him. He got in trouble, she saved his ass. She was lonely, he got her drunk.
He got her drunk on red wine and beer and she led him to her bed.