A/N: We start off with the evolution of the Silver/Madi relationship through Silver's eyes. We'll get to the aftermath of the finale in chapter 2!

From the moment that I first laid eyes on her, I have been scared.

First, it was fear for my life and the lives of the rest of the crew. It was immediately apparent that these people were prepared to torture and kill us one by one to gather the information that they wanted. It was equally obvious that once they knew all that there was to know about us and how we came upon their camp, they would execute the rest of us to ensure their safety.

I don't know what it was that I saw in her expression, but my instincts told me that she was our lifeline. There was something in the way that she returned my stare, and in her discomfort with the painful interrogation of my crewman that made me think that she could be our salvation.

There was more to it even then, but not having any experience in these things I cast it aside and told myself that I was simply intrigued by what had been achieved here. That one so young could carry herself with such assurance, could command such respect. When she had me brought to her quarters, and I was able to see and speak to her up close, the fear intensified. She was intelligent, and forceful, and would under no circumstances fall prey to the wit and charm that I was accustomed to using as currency. For want of another tactic, I felt compelled to answer her questions as honestly as I could. Her penetrating stare was designed to weed out falsehoods, and I was powerless before it.

In the days that followed, I took every opportunity to watch her as she went about the camp. When her father, the Maroon King returned gravely injured and it was revealed that he was our own Mr Scott, I watched her make the daily visit to his sick bed. Each time she emerged from his room her grief was apparent. She would take a few moments to compose herself, preparing to hide her worry from everyone that she encountered. It was quite something to see, and in those short moments of vulnerability that she took such pains to hide I felt something give way deep in my abdomen. I wanted to speak to her again.

Later, once our unlikely alliance was assured the fear took on a new light. As Quartermaster I was deemed to be the best person to stay behind on the Island to serve as liaison with the Maroon leaders, while Flint, Billy and the rest of the crew returned to Nassau to set our plans in motion. I had been downplaying the pain of my leg for many days, but the wound would no longer be ignored. I could not stand to strap the boot on my stump which was inflamed and bleeding. This meant that I literally could not stand, and the accompanying fever rendered me unable to do anything but sit and pray that it would soon pass. My fear then was that I would appear weak to the Maroon princess and her people. How was I to act as the representative of the Pirate faction if I was reduced to shivering on a bench, incapable of walking? What would she think of me?

She swept towards me in a blaze of righteous indignation that swiftly dissipated when she saw my sorry state. She wasn't phased by my protestations that I should be left to suffer unaided. Instead, she reasoned with me. I would learn later that this was her greatest strength. Using her wisdom to secure my agreement. In that moment, if she had told me that taking the remainder of my leg would be for the best I may well have agreed to it. I swallowed my pride, and she rewarded me by holding my hand throughout the ordeal, a gesture that made me feel that she was sharing her considerable strength with me.

It was while recovering in her home that I finally learned her name. I had been trying to discern it while we were being held captive, but her position in the community meant that with the exception of her mother, she was referred to simply as "ma'am" by everyone, a practice that both Flint and I adopted once we joined them as partners. There hadn't been an appropriate opportunity to ask her, and there was no way that I would dare to ask the queen. My curiousity was finally satisfied when Kofi, her closest and most trusted companion, helped to transport me from the main camp to her quarters.

Kofi had sympathy in his eyes as he tried to lay me and my guest cot down without jarring my bandaged leg. However, he hesitated when it came time to leave.

"Do you need anything else Miss Madi?"

She smiled and shook her head, thanking him for his help. When he looked over at me again, she laughed. "What exactly do you think that he might do to me Kofi? Now go, we must let him rest."

Madi. It was perfect. She was perfect.

I don't know why I told her so much about Flint and my worry about being conscripted to his cause. Maybe it was because I was relieved to be able to share the thoughts that had been tormenting me. The only two people that I had been able to talk to up to now were Billy and Flint. I couldn't talk to Flint about this for obvious reasons, and Billy was far too entrenched in his hatred of our Captain to be able to have a rational discussion about him. There was another reason though. I just couldn't help talking in her presence. I wanted us to be allies in this, over and above the alliance of the maroons and the pirates. She was right when she said that I needed a tether, a lifeline, and I wanted it to be her.

That experience seemed to break down a barrier between us. I went from calling her "Ma'am" to calling her "Miss Madi" in front of her men, and simply "Madi" when we were alone.

Despite the seriousness of the endeavour at hand, we found time on our journey to Nassau to continue our talks. I learned everything I could about her. Listened as she spoke of her early childhood in the Guthrie household. What it was like to feel like a sister to Eleanor, while knowing that her true purpose in the household was to serve her. She talked of the night when she and her mother were spirited away to live in a forest that had been cleared to make way for an intricate network of dwellings, communal work and leisure spaces, farmland and even a school. I was enraptured by the pride in her eyes when she described how she looked up to her father, and admired the perfect partnership that existed between her parents.

When the inevitable questions about my background came, I hesitated. My immediate instinct was to spin her the same tale that I told everyone about a home for boys in East London. I didn't want to tell her tall tales and embellished stories though. For the first time in my memory, I had a connection with someone who I had never lied to. I wanted to try honesty.

"I have a... complicated past. To be honest, I don't like to think of it, let alone speak of it."

I looked at her closely, trying to gauge her reaction. She returned my gaze.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to hide things from you when you have been so open with me. I just. I can't"

She smiled and laid her hand on mine.

"There are many people in this camp that choose not to speak about their pasts. You are in good company here."

Her soft hand sent a tingle through me. I wanted to grip it tight but couldn't risk her pulling away.

"I do not need to know who you were." She continued, "I think I know who you are now and that is good enough."

I felt my throat choking up and had to look away and swallow down the emotion that her gentle acceptance awoke in me. Perceptive as ever, she changed the subject, going off on a tangent about the training that was in place for the people of the Maroon camp. Young and old were taught to read, to do arithmetic, to build, sew, hunt, grow. It was a community that was thriving, and Madi had ambitious plans to expand to a network of self-sufficient settlements that could sustain all the slaves freed by the alliance.

I had spent years, forever really, looking for somewhere to belong. I wanted nothing more than a comfortable life, but I had never considered who I would live that life with. I was excited by the possibility of a place that was full of lost souls united. As someone who had never belonged anywhere, I found myself longing for a future in such a place. Where I could be part of building something. Madi made me want to do right by her and her people. This was a problem. I had already broken all of my own rules when I started to see Flint as a real friend. Now, I was feeling something indescribable for this woman, and it meant that for the first time, I had real stakes in this fight. I wouldn't be able to just cut and run if it all went to shit, and this realisation scared me to no end.

With each passing day, the fear grew. Flint and Madi were the best possible partners for an undertaking like this, but that didn't affect my uncertainty of everyone else. Our success relied on a myriad of difficult factors. We had to enter Nassau under cover of night, deliver Madi to meet her agents to secure the weapons and ammunition stockpiled by her Father, and get her back to the ship safely. Not to mention having to carry off the role of 'Long John Silver' enough to convince pirates that had abandoned the black in favour of a pardon, to defy England and return to the fold to fight a war in the name of Captain Flint. My rational mind was rebelling against this unlikely plan, but my faith in Madi and Flint carried me through. It supported me as I entered the tavern and started weaving the story of Flint's return, and it emboldened me when Dufresne started his ill-advised tirade. However, when I looked at Dufresne's sneering face it wasn't that faith that spurred my next action. It was anger. Pure, unadulterated anger at all the times that I had been seen as lesser, all the times the I had been dismissed. Anger at the fact that this turncoat weasel would stand in the way of what we were trying to achieve. The future of my crew, my brothers, a thousand people in the Maroon camp, countless other slaves on the Island, a safe future for us all. I would not have it. His face broke pleasingly under my boot, and I revelled in the feeling that it gave me.

I could see the excitement on the faces of the crew when the story reached them. I had already won a great deal of their respect in recent months, and success as their quartermaster. But this was different. I could feel the tide turning yet again, elevating me still further in their eyes.

This was a stark contrast to the worry in the faces of Flint and Madi.

It was a relief to realise that Madi was concerned about me. Despite her attempt to make me believe that it was merely concern for the alliance, I could see a hint of something more personal in her eyes. That hint that she felt something for me, no matter how minor, was enough to make me giddy. I kept my reaction to myself of course, but silently decided that no matter how important the mission was right now, I would find an opportunity to approach her soon.

My happiness was quickly dashed by the discovery of Dobbs' attack on Chidi, one of Madi's men. This precarious situation that he had put us in had the potential of doing significant damage to the Maroons faith in the pirates, and could also cause a rift between Madi and I that I just couldn't afford, not when it felt like I was on the verge of making a breakthrough with her.

There were a number of options at hand for resolving the situation, but each one carried with it a great deal of risk. In the end, I chose to follow my original instinct with Madi, which was to tell her the truth and trust that we could deal with the problem together. My heartbeat threatened to deafen me when she entered the room, and her expression when she laid eyes Chidi's on the bludgeoned face almost made me lose my train of thought. She made no indication that she heard me as I explained what happened, simply kneeling before him to assess his injuries. Her expression was pained, and when she requested a knife the various possibilities of what she could do with it ran through my mind. She could stab Dobbs, which quite frankly I wouldn't mind, she could hand it to the injured man, which again, I think I could support. I hesitated as I handed it to her, but as she met my eyes I found myself helpless to refuse her. I trusted her. The alliance offered her people a chance for freedom, she wouldn't do anything to risk it. Her stake in this was larger than mine, and as such, she would do everything in her power to make it a success.

When I gave her my word that nothing like this would happen again, I meant it. The punishment that I ordered for Dobbs was severe enough for him to understand my displeasure, but humane enough for me to retain his respect and the respect of the crew members enlisted to carry it out.

As time passed I began to lose confidence in the possibility of deepening my relationship with her. We had agreed to move on from the incident on the ship, but it was clear that it had upset her greatly, and she was slightly more reserved with me as a result. We still spent a great deal of time together, but I could not see a way to shift direction with her. Despite my talent with words, I have never had to do something like this before. My past encounters with women have tended to be the result of sheer luck and opportunism, neither of which would help me with Madi.

Before I could decide on a course of action Mr Scott lost his fight for life and my feelings were set aside in favour of trying to provide some measure of comfort to her. I didn't know what I was going to say when I went to her room, and I was surprised to find that no words were needed. She simply wanted to be held and I was ready and willing to keep her wrapped in my embrace for as long as possible.

There was limited time to grieve, as plans were in place to lure the British forces to the camp to make a stand. The fight would be extremely dangerous, and Madi insisted on being in the first line of defence at the camp, by my side. I promised myself that if we made through the battle alive, I would take her aside and kiss her. Or maybe ask her if I could.

It turned out that I couldn't wait that long. The night before the British were to arrive, I felt drawn to her room. I had felt a growing sense of urgency throughout the evening, and my instincts were screaming at me to find a way to declare myself before dawn came and our fate was decided in battle.

She was seated in her chair, just as she had been when I was first brought to her as a captive. Candles glowed around her and she looked ethereally beautiful. My boot made it impossible for my arrival to go unnoticed and she stood and turned towards me, smiling as I entered.

I hadn't really rehearsed what I was going to say, but I had an idea of the feelings that I wanted to express. What I didn't expect was for those feelings to tumble out of me in a mass of jumbled words as soon as I opened my mouth.

"Madi. This is probably bad timing. We are about to embark on an endeavour that if successful, will strike a blow right to the heart of English rule in Nassau. It can change everything, and give you the freedom for your people that you so greatly desire. Having spent this time with you, and learned so much about the woman that you are, I just want to be part of that, of you... I mean, with you, if you'll let me."

I knew that I was speaking too quickly and that I probably wasn't making sense. I had no control over it, and as soon as I'd taken the time to breathe more words escaped.

"I have a crew to look after and a volatile Captain to manage, while you have a thousand people to serve and a legacy to live up to... but despite that I am unable to concentrate on anything other than how much I want you..."

She continued to stare at me with a delicate smile on her face. When she didn't say anything, I felt panic begin to build in my gut and wash over my body in waves.

"I just thought that... I just wanted you to know-"

She came towards me, her smile widening.

"John. Breathe," she said, stopping inches from me.

"I honestly don't think I can," I replied. She was standing so close. I swayed towards her, unable to stop myself from trying to get closer to her orbit. Her smile was blinding, so blinding in fact that it took me a moment to notice that her shoulders were shaking. Her mirth bubbled to the surface and erupted in helpless giggles. Who would have thought that Madi giggled? The sound was so charming and the visual even more so, that there was no way that I could be offended that she was basically laughing at my declaration.

I reached for her and pulled her close until she was chuckling into my neck. The last time that I had held her like this she had been crying for the loss of her father. It was immensely pleasurable to be able to hold her as she laughed, even if it was at my expense.

I pulled back slightly, and coaxed her head up so that I could look her in the eye. There was something in my gaze that brought her giggling to a halt, and she stared back at me, before shooting a lingering look at my lips. As always, she was confident and poised, and I wanted to ruffle her. I bent towards her slowly, eyes locked with hers all the while. The sensation of her lips meeting mine was indescribable. I felt it everywhere. We moved closer still as the kiss deepened, until we were pressed together without a sliver of light between us.

I expected the fear to fade away then, but instead it intensified. I took great pleasure in the easy intimacy between us, and our honest, open discourse took on greater intensity until it felt like there was nothing in the world that we were thinking or feeling that we didn't share with each other. We discussed the current state of the world as we saw it, and as we would like it to be. We spoke for hours about the alliance, her desire to honour her parents legacy and my growing belief in Flint's crusade. However, we never once talked about what was happening between us, or what our personal future held, a fact that filled me with uncertainty. We were undoubtedly a couple, at least when we were alone after sundown. But what were we in the light of day? I didn't have the courage to broach the subject, and it was easy to bury my unease and revel in having the freedom to be close to her by day and share her bed at night.

I always left her quarters before sunrise to avoid being seen. My metal boot didn't allow for stealth so it was best to sneak back to the area allocated to the pirates before the rest of the camp awoke. One morning, instead of a clear path through the trees, I was faced with Kofi. Now, I liked Kofi. I truly did. How could I not like a man that would risk his life to protect Madi? However, his constant presence was unnerving, and when it came to finding private time with my lady, the man was nothing short of a damn nuisance. I nodded to him as I passed, intending to continue on my way.

"Mr Silver"

I stopped, turning back to face him. Although Kofi was always present, we had never actually had a direct conversation.

"We are preparing for the journey to Nassau tomorrow"

At my nod he continued.

"You have listed Jacob and I as Miss Madi's escorts."

"Is there a problem with that arrangement?" I replied.

"I think that under the circumstances, perhaps it would be better if Obi accompanied us instead."

That gave me pause. So there was a problem with this Jacob? He had appeared to be an excellent fighter and had previous sailing experience.

"What's wrong with Jacob?"

Kofi hesitated, and looked towards Madi's room. He seemed to come to a decision and turned back to me.

"Before you came here, before the alliance was agreed, Jacob was being positioned for a potential union with Miss Madi."

Of all the things that I thought that Kofi might want to share with me, this was literally the last thing I suspected. Madi had been seeing someone else before me?

"They were engaged?"

I felt sick at the idea, and at the thought that she hadn't told me about it.

"Not yet, it was unofficial and still in the early stages of being arranged, but they had been spending time together and he was... excited about the prospect."

Right, so not engaged. I had seen Madi with Jacob when I was watching her from afar while in captivity, and later during my time in the camp. They were friendly and polite, but I hadn't noticed anything in her treatment of him that set him apart from anyone else.

"I just think that under the circumstances, it would be better if Jacob were not in close quarters with Miss Madi for this journey. It is too important, and I fear that he would be distracted," Kofi continued.

"Yes, I agree." I was suddenly even more grateful to Kofi for everything that he did for Madi, and for me.

"Thank you Kofi. I will alter the crew log. Please inform both Obi and Jacob of the change."

He nodded. "You should know sir, that I don't tell you this to betray Miss Madi. That I would never do. If she hasn't told you about it, it is because she doesn't think that it is of any consequence. However, as I have responsibility for her safety, I have to make sure that whoever accompanies me is focused and clear-headed."

I smiled and walked away, eager to muse on this new development in the one hand, Madi had been considering marriage, and to someone who was still very much around. However, on the other, she had clearly halted the proceedings when the pirates arrived, probably because of the alliance and impending war, but undoubtedly also because of me. There was nothing to worry about. Madi only does what she wants to do, and her actions show that she wants me. As sensible as this train of thought was, I couldn't help the tiny niggle of fear that insisted on making its presence felt. It was like something nipping at my heels, trying to get in the way of my happiness. With a war to plan there really wasn't time to be worrying about it. If I brought it up to Madi, she would be understanding and reassuring, but I just didn't want her to see my insecurity. No. The worry that I would not be accepted, that she was meant for something or someone other than me was just another fear that I would have to bury with the others.