Prologue
He looked at the newborn. Looked at his son. The boy was looking back at him. Both waiting. The father reached out, then let his arms fall down to the side. He couldn't do this. This child was not his son, this child didn't deserve to live. She should have been the one to survive, not him. He saw her features in the tiny face, he had her eyes.
For a moment he had to look away, couldn't stand looking at this small being. The creature who was already a murderer. He felt his body harden, his heart filled up with hatred.
"I hate you," he whispered, looking at the boy.
"I hate you," he repeated with a harsher voice.
The boy started moving around, feeling uncomfortable. Missing the warmth of his mother, missing the love. Small sobs escaped his throat. His eyes looked at the man above him, almost pleading him to reach out and pick him up. Begging for his love. But the man didn't react, he just kept standing there. Filling up with anger and hatred towards this pure little boy.
The infant started crying, but no one noticed. No one was there, but the man who was once his father. The cries that would have broken every mother's heart only filled the father with more hate. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He hadn't even wanted the child in the first place. It had been her wish to become a parent, not his. During her pregnancy she had been full of life, full of love and laughter. Sometimes he'd shared her joy, not because of the child, never because of the child, but because of her. She was the love of his life, no one but her. And now she was gone. Complications, they'd called it. He knew the reason, he knew who'd taken his greatest love away from him, and he was looking at it now.
The child's face was turning red, he was using all his oxygen to try and get some attention. But no one listened. No one cared.
The father thought about strangling the child. Just getting it over with. Never having to look into those eyes again, the eyes of his love, and the eyes of the person who'd killed her. But he couldn't let the boy get away with it that easy. He wanted the baby to feel the pain he was feeling right now.
He lowered his head and looked right into the blue eyes. For a moment the child stopped crying and just looked back. Hoping. Then the man put his hand on top of the baby's mouth, almost covering his entire face. The boy tried to move, but the man didn't let go.
"I will make you pay for what you've done. I will make sure to hurt you as bad as you've hurt me," he whispered.
Then he let go.
The child's cries filled the air as the man turned around and walked out of the room, leaving the infant alone.