I heard a loud banging on my dorm room door early in the morning. I lazily got up as the sun was streaming through the windows, blinding me. "Who is it?" I demanded. I heard someone sigh on the other end of the door. "It's me." A familiar velvety voice said wistfully. I shook my head and opened the door. Severus Snape stood there, clad in all black, robes sweeping brilliantly in all of his grandeur. He sighed. "May I come in?"
I nodded. "Yes, of course, Professor Snape." Severus sighed again. "Clara, it's extremely important that I speak with you. Do you remember the picture you found in my things? The picture of my best friend from Hogwarts?" "Yes." I smiled. He clasped his hand in mine gently and led me to a couch in front of the fireplace. The fire crackled softly as Severus caressed my hands with his. He took in a deep breath, looking squarely into my eyes. "Clara, I was very close to Lily when we were children. We grew up expecting our Hogwarts letters together and-" "You're still in love with her." I finished for him.
Severus looked at me before sighing loudly. "Yes, I still love her, but that does not matter. Clara, I love you very much. However, I will always love Lily." I backed away from him. "So you won't always love me?" I snapped. Severus sighed impatiently. "If you would listen to me, you would understand what I'm explaining to you!" His voice rose, and I could tell he was beginning to lose his temper. I flinched horribly away from him, and Severus sighed. "Forgive me, Clara. It was not my intention to shout at you. I only want you to realize what I'm saying to you."
He gazed at me longingly, and reached for my hand again, placing it back in his. "I love you both. I'm thankful to have known Lily and to have had her in my life, but I am also glad to have you in my life." I turned away from him. Severus sighed and curved my neck to face him. "I need you, Clara. Do you understand?" I nodded my head. Severus swooped down and kissed my lips passionately. We made out a few seconds until we both broke off, breathing heavily. He smiled down at me and plummeted down to kiss me again.
Severus sighed against my lips, his lungs hissing as the air poured from them. Severus coughed suddenly, sharply, expelling air from his lungs. He sighed again and pulled me closer, advancing until I was pinned against the wall. Severus kissed me deeply, sighing against my neck. "...Clara." He whispered, his breath hot. I kissed him back, and he inhaled swiftly, catching his breath deep in his lungs. Severus pulled away, gasping and his hand flew to his lips curling into a ball, as a violent cough cut from his lungs. Severus coughed deeply, clearing his lungs. He sighed and glanced at me. "So intense, aren't we, Clara?"
He moved to whisper in my ear again, his silky voice sending chills down my spine. Severus leaned into me and pressed his lips to mine, practically shoving his tongue down my throat. I pulled away, and Severus gasped. He coughed, clearing his lungs. "Severus are you all right?" I asked in mild alarm. Severus sighed. "I'm fine." He smiled wickedly. "Let's go to my quarters." Severus took my hand and led me to his office and into his chambers.
"You're cold, Severus. Are you sure you're ok?" Severus sighed. "I told you, I'm fine." He wheezed deeply, and burst into a fit of coughs. I soothed his back until he reluctantly stopped coughing, and his lungs calmed. Severus sighed deeply. "Come here." He pinned me against the bed, brushing his lips against my neck. He tore off my dress while I undid his robes hurriedly.
"I don't blame you, Severus." Severus glared tentatively at me before sighing. "About what?" I shot him a dark look. "About Lily. I've been so selfish. How can I expect you to get over someone you loved?" He withdrew from me and sighed dramatically. "Clara, you are not being selfish. I...ruined any chance I had of being with Lily." i wrapped my arms around his shoulders comfortingly. "I don't deserve you." Severus whirled around. "How can you say something like that?!" His eyes flashed dangerously, and he put his hands around my throat. "Am I not good enough for you?!"
I pushed him away from me, and he sighed heavily, as if releasing the weight from his lungs. I grabbed my clothes and got up to leave. Severus sighed. "Wait." I turned to face him. "I don't know what came over me. Please, stay." I glared at him crisply, and he sighed again. "I lost my temper, Clara. Please...you know how unstable it is." Severus's black orbs latched onto mine, begging me. I continued to glare at him. "But you should know how to control your temper!" I lashed out in wrath.
Severus exhaled, letting the oxygen flurry from his lungs. "I know you're worried that you don't deserve me." He took a deep breath, pausing. "It is I, who don't deserve you. I'm always losing my temper, leaving me vulnerable to your fury afterwards. Just, go..." Severus sighed, and put his robes back on. He brushed past me, breezing into his office. "Severus." I murmured, following him. Severus sank into his chair behind his desk, releasing a long sigh.
He had his head in his hands when I entered the room. "Severus, what are you doing?" I questioned. Severus glowered. "I have done nothing but worship the ground you walk on." He coughed quickly, clearing his lungs. I crossed the room, making my way over to him and relieved his stiff back muscles. "I love you, Severus. I wouldn't be here if I didn't." Severus sighed. "I don't know what you want from me anymore, Clara. I don't know if I can do this anymore." I rolled my hands down his back. "Don't tell me about Lily unless it brings you joy to do so."
He turned to face me. "It doesn't bring me joy to speak of her. She's a part of my past. If you still desire to be with me, you deserve to know about her." I sealed my lips to his and he returned the kiss hungrily, until we broke off, breathing heavy. "I love you, Clara." Severus said, smiling against my lips. "I love you, Severus." I said, grabbing him for another kiss.