the heaven you and i know

layers. lots of it. heavy, striped, fleeting, cocoon-like layers all wrapped around them. reminds her a little of mami's ribbons. integral light filters through stained glass windows easily, throwing the flooded cathedral into hues of brilliance. somehow, the waters around her taste salty, like water from the ocean, and the aisles and aisles of wooden benches don't rupture, don't rot or don't soak from all the water. and the doors might be open to a hazy outside but no water leaks out. not a drop. it must be some kind of magical barrier. she'll check that later. she's too tired to really care just yet. there's no stench of witches and the living here. no danger to stiffen her muscles up. a sea breeze toys

"hey," a voice sighs, painfully close to her temple to feel lips and hot breath brushing against it, "we're dead, aren't we? i remember dying."

she doesn't open her eyes. fingers twitch. nerves at the base of neck jumpy. "you don't sound too upset about dying. what else do you remember?"

"i don't know," the voice exhales tiredly. "i've never seen this place in my life. but it feels familiar. is that weird?"

"i killed myself along with a huge armored mermaid who seriously sucks at trying to be you. what's weird anymore?"

"so we died."

she nods, affirming, "we died."

"do you think people will miss us?"

her voice turns a bit sour. "maybe you, maybe not me. i don't have anyone to miss me."

the voice doesn't question, though she feels the tendrils of pity and she stiffens before relaxing. relax. she's dead anyway; there's no point getting worked up now. "so where are we?"

"who cares? let's just float here for a bit. oh, you got your legs back. and your face."

church music begins to play. the church organs, massive and magnificent, brays out what sounds like sweet salvation. after what feels like hours of lying around, something finally happens. brittle fingers clasp hers, startled somewhat.

"what does that mean?"

"it means it's time to shut up and listen."

the voice stops talking and she feels like she's falling asleep, except there is no sleep. it doesn't come like it would usually, engulfing her in tireless dreams and shifting images that become nightmares eventually. in fact, it doesn't come at all.

"you can't sleep here," she whispers, almost like a revelation.

"i don't think you can."

she sighs. "stop telling me things i already know."

the voice is disgruntled, annoyed. probably a little frustrated. "stop sighing."

"i'm dead. if anybody has the right to sigh, i can."

"i died too."

"you didn't go on a suicide mission."

"close to it."

she sighs again, resigned. the voice might have been making sense after all. sayaka did embark on a suicide mission, or something of the like. kamikaze bombers. hara kiri. except there was nothing so honorable about it. no trumpets at her funeral, no beacon of hope for the others, no saluting or whatever, not even a body in the casket. no proper burial for you, sayaka. she seeped quietly away, and enjoyed a death she couldn't even feel.

right through kyouko's fingers.

"akemi was right. i should have been a little smarter about this," the voice grunts.

she barks out a laugh. "even a little would have been good enough."

she lifts her vacant fingers, opening her eyes to crystalline water sifting down her arm, but doesn't feel wet. her clothes, or whatever she's wearing, doesn't feel soaked and heavy.

"so where are we?"

"that place we go to when we die."

"heaven?"

she shakes her head, smirking as she looks up to the wooden beams of the cathedral, stretched way up above her.

"hell?" the voice tries again, wavering slightly this time.

"no. here."

"that helps," a snort. "so we lay here forever?"

"shut up sayaka miki."

"why can't you just answer my questions?"

"cause you have too many, and i'm too tired."

"that's not an excuse."

"i don't care."

the voice sighs. sighs and sighs and sighs. all exasperatedly. "how long are we gonna stay here, at least?"

"until i don't want to."

the voice next to her moves closer, and the whole body of water shifts with her, stirring with her. she feels warmth pressed onto her arm. who knows what sayaka miki might have done now.

"and you were stupid, sakura."

"can we stop with all the name-calling? i'm dead already."

"no, you were stupid because you died. with me. you shouldn't have."

"look," she fidgets, her words a weak warning, as they drift into sayaka miki's territory, a sensitive topic that only she wants nothing of. her pride is already wounded and her cheeks flush. "just drop it. we're both dead now. drop it."

"if we're gonna stay here like this forever, might as well ask."

she groans, throwing an arm over her eyes. from the water, no sound is produced, no splashing or anything. "i can't believe i'm stuck for an eternity with you. especially not an idiot like you."

even without looking, the voice's lips have curled into a slightly bitter smile. "you regret it?"

"i don't regret dying. i regret being stuck here with you. and with nothing to eat."

"i thought i saw an apple tree growing outside."

"please. that's not real," she scoffs.

"we're dead, kyouko. what do we need to eat for?"

"therapy. to keep my sanity."

"we don't need that too," the voice prods.

"are you just gonna shoot down everything i say, sayaka miki?"

"unless you want an eternity of silence."

she grumbles. the harmonica hits a flat note and she smirks. "even this place can't get the tune right."

"stop avoiding the question."

a harp applies a light sheen over them, pulling them into dream-like fleetingness.

kyouko snorts. "stop asking."

"i don't think you can hit me here."

"bullshit."

"don't swear," the voice warns.

"we're not in heaven. i don't care."

"how are you so sure we're not in heaven?"

"because if this is heaven, i won't be stuck with you. and you won't be pissing me off with your questions."

"maybe this is heaven for us."

"for us? for puella magi?" she laughs emptily. "stop joking."

"i'm not," the voice says crossly.

moments pass in silence. then: "hey, kyouko?"

"what is it now, sayaka miki?"

sayaka miki smiles, and now kyouko has to lift her arm to see it, because it's felt like years since she's been this contented, and sayaka deserves that much from her, if not an explanation. sayaka's fingers curl tighter around hers, like she's seeking acceptance and assurance. kyouko is willing to give that too.

"i'm happy you didn't decide to leave me alone."

and sayaka miki is selfish. very much so. but kyouko likes that in her. it makes her real. a human and not something else. forget witch, forget puella magi. sayaka's clinging fingers are squeezed for comfort, knowing that their lives were not much different after all.

"i'm happy i didn't either."

smiles fade into silence and silence fades into happiness.

"oh, and hey, kyouko?"

"yeah?"

"let's just lie down here like this forever. you and me."

sayaka's eyes follow kyouko's up to the ceiling and wooden beams. "i told you so."