A/N: Wothcer all! Hey, it's two of your favorite author's back and collaborating on a parody that will blow your minds. This is eleen and dracoaspen and we're hoping to attract some new readers but also some old ones. Personally, we do not own any of these characters; they belong to J.K.R. and we did not make the icons in which this fic is based but huge respect to whoever did. Some chapters will be written by an author seperatly and some will be us working together. You can probably tell by our fav characters who wrote which but we'll leave that for you to decide. Well, we have both taken a short break from our previous fics because of our end of term exams but that won't stop us for long. We'll be giving updates all summer...Hope you enjoy it...

150 THINGS I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS

Luna Lovegood, Ernie MacMillian, Theodore Nott (who will be referred to by his surname cause we're Slytherins and cool that way), Hannah Abbot (who is now a wild, horny ditz), Seamus Finnigan (because he's Irish) and Fred and George Weasley (because you need the two best pranksters for the plot of this fic) have detention.

Hannah and Ernie sat lazily accioing cards back into a stack. Luna was staring dreamily at the ceiling, swinging her feet. Seamus was clapping erasers much more elegantly than Nott who looked like he had been attacked by a bag of flour. And Fred and George were returning the crystal balls back to normal, and had long given up singing "Weasley is our King". All was quiet until Fred dropped a crystal ball.

"Bullocks!" He exclaimed as he bent down to retrieve the glowing orb.

"So, how come you two are in here?" Seamus spoke for the first time all evening.

"Bewitched the crystal balls." George said as he strode over to where Seamus was sitting. "Trelawny never noticed a thing…"

"Until Malfoy complained about seeing disturbing images of Harry running through the halls sky clad." Fred finished.

"So that's why my appearance looked ugly like Granger." Hannah said apparently clueing into the unobvious fact that she was pretty.

"Watch what you say about Hermione." George blurted. Hannah looked taken aback.

"So how about you Seamus? What landed you in Trelawney's grasp?" Fred asked curiously.

"I stepped on her shawls and the old bat accused me of doing it on purpose." Seamus began. "It's not my fault she tripped down the stairs; she should have been watching her footin' more carefully."

"What about you Luna?" George asked breaking the bespeckled girl's gaze.

"I said that I saw a heliopath in my tea leaves." She replied dreamily.

"What the bloody hell is a heliopath?" The others blurted in unison.

"They're spirits of fire who burn everything in their path." She stated excitedly.

"That's a forest fire." Seamus said blandly.

"They ar-" Luna began to retaliate but Fred cut her off.

"Moving on…" He glanced over at Hannah and Ernie who were picking up some tarot cards. "What did you two do? Knock over a stack of cards?"

"Well I was building a house…" Hannah started.

"But your stupid creation hit me in the back of the head!" Ernie explained.

"So? It doesn't give you an excuse to throw cards at me!" She whined.

"Well we would have been fine if you hadn't jinxed the cards and they started chasing Trelawny around the classroom." Ernie protested.

"It was an accident!"

"Least you didn't call her a mudblood." Commented Seamus shooting a glance at Nott.

"That's a pretty big word for such a little man." Fred said darkly.

"She predicted my death!" Cried Nott. "Three times!" brandishing three bony fingers at him.

"Calm down," Said George. "No need to use your squeaky voice…"

There were a few moments of silence.

"I hate that crazy old bat." Muttered Seamus.

"I hate this place," Said Hannah. "It's so dark…"

"And happy." Said Nott. "All rainbows and sunshine…nothing ever happens."

"We could always change that." Said Fred.

"We could." Agreed Seamus.

"It would have to be big." Said George.

"And loud." Continued Fred.

"Go down in Hogwarts History!" Called George jumping up onto a circular table, wand and crystal ball still in hand.

"Doesn't this build up just make you want to break out in song and dance?" Cried Nott from across the room.

The others stared.

"No one?" Asked Nott weakly.

"Ok…" Said Hannah.

"We'll have to break some rules." Said Seamus.

"There are a lot of rules." Piped up Ernie. "I would know, I've read them all."

"But there are some rules that are unwritten…" Said Fred.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Asked George.

"We couldn't." Said Hannah. "We could get into so much trouble."

"This coming from the girl who turned a harmless deck of cards into a man-eating…" Ernie began.

"Teacher-eating." Supplied Luna.

"Teacher-eating," Ernie corrected himself. "Flying swarm of evil!"

"You're right." Reconsidered Hannah. "Screw it, I'm in."

"Luna, how about you?" Fred gestured her way.

"Sure, it could be fun. Maybe we could also include crumple horned snorkack. Perhaps they could come in handy." She said still in her trance like state.

"Right…" The others replied together.

"Nott?" Seamus raised an eyebrow.

"Why did you even bother asking? On any occasion have you ever seen a Slytherin give up an opportunity to cause trouble?"

"Well I guess that's everyone…" George started.

"Wait a moment, Ernie didn't agree." Seamus noted.

"Er, you lot go ahead. I'm a prefect; I could get into a lot of trouble." He said nervously.

"Urgh, come on Ernie, I'm a prefect and I'm doing it!" Hannah whined.

"If he's uncomfortable doing this he doesn't have to." George said.

"Yeah, he can be the judge!" Fred stated.

"OK, what do I have to do?" Ernie asked suspiciously.

"Make sure everyone stays in line and decide who wins." George noted.

"How do you win?" Nott asked.

"Honestly, are George and I the only smart ones around here?" Fred said throwing his hands up in the air.

"You break the most rules!" George shouted.

"What rules?" Luna asked.

"Anyone who's anyone knows that there are one hundred and fifty unwritten rules of Hogwarts that are not to be broken under any circumstances no matter how dire the need." recited Fred.

"So much for that." smirked Nott.

"I've heard of those," Began Luna "Is that the one where we poke Hufflepuffs with spoons?"

"Sure is."

"What!" yelled Ernie. "No one is poking me with a spoon!"

"Calm down, Ernie." Said Hannah.

"Yeah, it's only spoons." Said Nott, "Bloody Hufflepuff." He muttered under his breath.

"Hey!"

"Enough!" Called Fred.

"Yeah, stop the madness you bunch of sods." Said George. "Look, if you don't know the rules we'll explain them to you but since it's only the judge who seems to be clueless, upon our return we'll tell him the rule he broke and he can keep score."

"Or in this case frogs." Fred said gleefully.

"Frogs?" Hannah repeated looking disgusted.

"Sure. We will each have a jar that will get a chocolate frog added when we break one of the rules…" Gorge said.

"And then at the end we get to eat them!" Fred exclaimed.

"Dibs on the cards!" Yelled Seamus.

"I declare this the first meeting of the – the – the- the us." Declared Ernie.

"That was lame."

"I know." Sighed Ernie.

"Anyway….once we leave this classroom, the fun begins."

"No one poke me with spoons!" Cried Ernie brandishing his wand.

"Calm down, no one has spoons anyways." Reassured Fred.

"Speak for yourself." Said Luna, receiving a look of pure terror from Ernie.

(Where's Trelawny? Why has she left them alone? Has she gone off drinking?" Doesn't matter.)

"So everyone meets back here," Said Fred.

"Where it all began,"

"Once we've all,"

"Danced the time warp,"

"In the Great Hall!"