I am watching you.
"Do you really think she's safe with him?"
The Beast asked me. Did I? No. That's how come I'm watching you right now. I came to get you and Connor. To protect you.
But its seems it doesn't matter. For what did I find? I found you making love to my son. MY SON!
You know how much that rips at me, and tears me up? Do you know what it means?
Of course you do...you told me why we couldn't be together earlier today, and I had managed to hold on to the tiny bit of hope that maybe...Just maybe that it was because of what was going happen...what did happen.
And Angelus is stirring in me. He's thirsty Cordelia...He's thirsty for you. He wants to bite that pretty neck of yours, and suck you dry. He wants to make you his. To give you the Kiss of the Vampire.
To make you just like him. And he is me, according to you. Very contradicting of yourself, aren't you?
"Sure it's in you. We all have something. But it's not the only thing in you. You're not him, Angel."
Do you remember that? It was the night you promised to kill me if I ever became Angelus again, but you said I wasn't him. Then, few years later, you say I am him.
So which is it Cordy? Which is it? Because your life is hanging on it.
Am I Angelus or am I not?
Which am I?
And I am watching you. Yeah, that's right, I am watching you right now, this very minute as you make love to my son.
And I don't seem to care anymore. I don't care about you anymore.
That Demon can kill you for all I care. I am tired of playing superhero.
I am not Angelus, not since I received my soul back again.
I am someone worse than Angelus. Someone much, much worse.
Which means I'm not Angel either. Because how could Angel be worse than Angelus. And how can Angel just abandon anyone in a mist of chaos?
Who am I?
Someone without a name. Someone who once left two rabid female vampires loose on a pack of lawyers. Someone who has been to hell and back only to find, that in reality, he was always there. Someone who wouldn't really give a damn whether or not the world ended today, except that there are people out there who I love and care about, and in return, who love and care about me.
I once thought that included you, but I can now see it doesn't.
And I am going back to those who are.
~*~
Note: It didn't really come out as I wanted it to, though, my fics rarely do. Oh well, I hoped you liked.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Angel or any of the other characters, though whoever does. Please; smack Cordelia and Connor of the head and give Angel a big bear hug. (Also, give Wesley one too...AND NOT BY LILAH.)