I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters. I just simply love Envy :) Sorry if there is any OOCness. (Warnings there is Rape, Obsession, Yaoi, and Incest. But it is not graphic)
ENJOY
PLEASE BE NICE THIS IS MY VERY FIRST FAN FICTION.
"-_-"
My life in the past 175 years has been nothing but a truly pathetic worthless life colored in red. I do not see it that way though from what I see I was born by a failed attempt in the year 1739 by my useless father and mother both in failed hopes to bring their deceased son back from the grave, but instead I was born they called me William. I felt that name was wrong but I guess that was the name of their son. I loved the pained expiations on their faces when I asked who they were. My mother told me that I was her son and that her name was Dante and that my father's name was Hohenheim of light. I played along and shortly begun to like my life as William Van Hohenheim.
However though whenever I would ask my mother how I died she would not answer but instead would simply smile and say "That does not matter you are my son and that is all that matters" with that truly evil look she would give to her worthless pawns. Whenever I would ask my father he would quietly say as if he was about to cry "I'm sorry" and would lock himself in his stupid study for hours on end. I began to understand that I was not human or their long lost beloved son William Van Hohenheim.
One lonely day after another I begun to snap, I started to gain an unbearable craving that no food or treat could withhold. My craving was simple I craved murder and power over my unexpected victims. I loved the look of fear and confusion on their faces before there satisfying deaths. Sadly thought murder was like a bad drug. The more I would kill the bigger my blood-lust would grow before long over half the village was gone. I loved that sick satisfaction I would get when my father and mother would tell me about their deaths. I remember trying so hard not to laugh at the mother of one of my victims as she cried about the loss at her eleven year olds funeral.
Shortly after my killing sprees become more and more often my father saw me with another nameless victim at my feet and the happiest grin on my face her blood pooling at my feet. I still remember the shame in his eyes that cold harsh desert night and the empty pathetic words that sunk in to my nonexistent heart that would boil in to a pure hatred for that man I called father. He looked at me with tears in his ugly golden eyes that everyone in this stupid country shared then he said "I'm sorry" then turned away. I still remember the satisfaction I felt watching Hohenheim walk in his self pity and the empty looks he would give me.
When we had finally returned home my father told my stupid mother Dante and I that we need to talk. I thought at first that my father's self pity and pain was hilarious, trying not to grin as he told my mother about what he had seen early that night. When she looked at me her eyes were filled with sorrow and disbelief, I could tell she hoped it was a sick joke and it would all be over. I could no longer resist my sharp toothy grin insuring her it was all true as I laughed in her face as she feel to her knees. What angered me the most was when my father Hohenheim hugged my mother dearly and said "I'm sorry but this man is not our beloved son William, but is a monster wearing his skin".
My father and mother locked me in my room and told me to think about what I did. I remember the sick twist and turns in my stomach as I heard my weak mother cry and the front door slam shut. I never saw my father again and my mother told me to call her Dante and that I was no longer her son William Van Hohenheim. I was the Homunculus Envy an Artifice being who held amazing power, she told me Hohenheim had left us because he felt I was a worthless replaceable being that was worth less than a slave this angered me little did I know she feeding me lies to fill my hatred for my father. She would feed me red stones and would tell me about her plans to kill Hohenheim of light as she would brush my long blond hair every night before bed. I let her because I felt she was my mother and she was all I had in this long angry life of mine. Dante would tell me that I was Envy and because of that I did not have feelings and that feelings make you weak. No matter what she told me I know I loved Dante as my mother and that would never change.
I was always happy when she praised me like a mother would praise her child. She praised me when I killed, when I would beat her in our nightly sparring, and when I completed my missions. When I was in my room one night thinking about all the ways to kill the man I had once called father it clicked. I then know all I needed to know about being Envy the cold blooded Homunculus. I then changed my appearance to fit my personality I looked in the mirror to see an adorable pale skinned androgynous teenage with long green wispy hair and a lean muscular build. My clothing was a black form fitting skort and a black turtle neck crop top that ended just above my firm abs. I wore black tight socks that reviled my toes and heels and gloves to match. But above all I had an adorable head band that I wore underneath my green hair that had a red upside-down triangle. Simply I was adorable; I just hoped mother thought the same as I made a sexy pose in the mirror checking my new body out.
"-_-"
It was the year 1899 and Dante had sent me on a mission to a small town in the southeastern region of Amestris In hopes to find a human who was stupid enough to make a Philosopher's Stone. I wounded why Dante had sent me here when the population was so small. I changed my shape to look like a young girl I had killed out of boredom early that week. I had big brown eyes that had more life in them then the sky itself, long brown hair that ended right above my mid back. I wore a sun dress that was an Olive green and a pair of white flip-flops.
After walking around the paths in this town I saw a man a little bit down the path at a fruit and vegetable stall who was wearing a boring green apron and straw farming hat I guess he worked there. I made a toothy grin walking over to him with a sad scared face. I asked him if this was Resembool then lied like it was the most natural thing in the world but to me it was. I pretended to cry like a lost child saying that I was lost looking for my mother who was a doctor. Soon after the bright farmer pointed me to a house on the top of the hill saying there was a midwife and some doctors up there preparing for the upcoming birth of a new life.
Humans are so easy to fool I thought to myself I wonder if Dante will let me destroy this town after I'm done here. I walked up the path in till I saw a white house with a green door and a red roof. I could hear beautiful pain filled screams coming from that house which had caught my interest. I quickly changed back to my much preferred androgynous form as I approached the first window I wanted to cry if I could. Lying on the living room floor was a brown haired woman with soft pale skin covered in a layer of sweat giving birth to I new pathetic life. That didn't bug me though what bugged me was the man holding that woman's hand; the man had long blond hair and golden eyes just like the long deceased William Van Hohenheim. That man was my father Hohenheim of light.
"-_-"
Hours later my worthless little half brother was born they named him Edward William Elric. He was beautiful yes but I still hated him I hated that I was replaced. Replaced by a human he two had blond hair and golden eyes. No matter how much I hated him I still felt the need to protect my baby brother. For some strange reason I didn't want to leave I wanted to be a part of this small family of three. I didn't understand myself back then I was Envy a cold blooded killer who took enjoyment in the pain and misery of others. I who loved to kill, who was better than any human wanted nothing more than to hold the child of the man I hated. Who abounded me 175 years before the birth of that adorable child I should hate but cannot bring myself to do.
I still remember that cold February night like it was just yesterday but to someone who was immortal it might as well be. I remember sitting silently on that old wooden swing lost in thought as the man I had once called my father long ago slowly snuck up on me while I was lost in my thoughts he held a knife to my throat. At that moment I know what I wanted I wanted my father to aspect me as his son once again. To hold me like he used to before I died 175 years ago, before I died of mercury poisoning in hopes of immortality. Before I become the monster I am know the Homunculus Envy. I wanted to be human again for a brief moment I just wanted to be human to be part of a family one more time.
You could say I was Envious of my perfect half brother Edward he was beautiful, I truly believed he would grow up to become a smart perfect human. I then swear out loud that I not as Envy but as William Van Hohenheim, would protect my little brother at all costs even if it casted me my life. The father I hated with all my being looked at me with a dumfounded expression on his truly ugly face of his. I then said in a harsh tone "if you abandon my baby brother the same way you abounded me all troughs years ago I will find you, and I will give you the worse death imaginable".
The following year my youngest brother was born he too was perfect just like Edward. I wanted nothing more but to truly be a part of their lives I was sick of hiding in the shadows. I wanted to truly act like a brother to be a part of their perfect family and there perfect life, I loved my brothers. It was funny I sometimes wondered if I to was human somewhere deep down become Dante would always tell me that Homunculus cannot feel love, joy, happiness, or any human emotion. I would always shack it off I was a Homunculus I was Envy.
In the year 1903 I had to leave the shadows of my perfect little brothers Edward and Alphonse for only one long month that was all it took. When I had come back to them; bearing treats and gifts to hide under their beds. Father was gone I guess he noticed my absences and had run as fast as he could. That truly pathetic man that called himself a father, that I Envy slowly begin to trust once again had not only ripped my trust to shreds but also my truly perfect wonderful half brothers apart as well. This angered me so much I hated him more than ever before, he abounded me for being a monster. But them they were human, they were young and innocent, and they were truly perfection.
"-_-"
In the year 1904 my adorable half-brothers mother had fallen greatly ill, by the epidemic that had spared through the country. At first I over looked it I hated that woman, yes she took good care of my dear brothers. But she would always lie through her teeth telling them he would return to them. I know he wouldn't return I know he had left them to never to come back. He had abounded them like he abounded me all troughs years ago. I started to feel a little nervous when their mother's condition only worsened. Months passed and the woman who was supposed to take care of them had left then all alone in this harsh cruel world.
All that was in my mind the day she died was my worry for my dear brothers. I watch in the shadows as they tried to contact their father Hohenheim of light. I was so angry when he didn't attend her funeral normally I loved funerals I loved the pained expressions of their loved once faces. But for some reason this was different I wanted nothing more but to comfort my dear brothers to hold them and tell them everything was going to be okay. That is all I wanted yet all I did was hid in the shadows like the fool I was.
I remember how happy and relieved I felt when the Rockbells had offered my half-brothers a place to stay. I felt that I should repay her kindness somehow, so that warm summer night I had come to her door late at night and had offered the makings to my dear brother's most favorite food in the world. Then I was gone I could no longer bear the burden I felt it was my fault that she was gone. How that woman their mother could no longer take care of my dear beloved brothers. That I Envy had scared away there pathetic excuse of a father I felt that it was my entire fault since I was not human I was a Homunculus.
"-_-"
It had been nine long years since I left my poor brothers behind the brothers that I could not help but to love. Nine years of regret such hopeless regret I still felt the urges to return to them to just make sure they were safe. One day Dante told me along with the rest of the sins to find human sacrifices people who where stupid enough to try human transmutation and have served seeing the gate in what we homunculi had come from. I felt my non-existent heart sink when Dante had said the names Edward and Alphonse in the same sentence as gate and sacrifice. My beloved perfect brothers Edward and Alphonse had done the forbidden for reasons I didn't understand at the time. Sadly when I learnt the reason I felt it was my entire fault once again but I do know that I want to protect my baby brothers with my life.
The first time after nine years that I saw my truly perfect yet shameful brothers again was when I was in Reole with Lust and Gluttony. Bring fails hopes to the truly worthless humans of this land in hopes for bloodshed. It was then that I had seen my Edward like I hoped he was perfect with truly wonderful long blond hair and golden eyes that where as bright as the sun he was short but that didn't bother me. He wore a bright red hooded cloak that ended near his upper calves with an embedded black flame places on the back, from what I could see his cloths where black and he wore black plat form boots with red trim probably to add to his height.
I noticed a large man in a truly unattractive suit of armor walking next to my adorable half-brother Edward Elric. It didn't fit in to the picture at all I then started to wander where Alphonse had gone; he too was cute but was nothing like Edward. Edward was nothing less than pure perfection. Lust had noticed me staring at them, what shocked me the most that day was when the female Homunculi whispered in my ear "obsession is what leads to love". At that embarrassment and rage had taking over my body and I had screamed so loud I swore the whole world could hear me yell in a fit of embarrassment "he is my precious little brother". Shorty after I had learned from lust that the man in the iron armor suit was my youngest brother Alphonse Elric, to my despair the suit was empty.
It wasn't in till the incident at lab 5 that I could finally had the chance to talk to my perfect little pipsqueak of a brother Edward for the first time in my life. Sadly thought I had to pretend to be someone I was not, which usually would not bother me. What saddened me the most was when Edward had seen right thought my disguise and attacked me in anger; it was then that I felt my very life wanting to fad away from this world under the watchful eyes of Lust. I was forced under my duties as the Homunculus Envy to attack my baby brother and pretend I didn't care. At that time I felt myself wanting to cry hoping I was strong enough to end my pathetic worthless life. But for some reason I did not want to die.
After almost a year of watching my precious little brothers, I began to realise that what lust had meant in Reole. I had an obsession for my truly adorable half brother Edward Elric. I become scared and confused new to these emotions I never noticed in till then that ever since February of 1899 Edward Elric was the one thing on my mind. I started to wonder strange things like if his hair was as soft as silk or how his lips would feel pressed to mine. I wanted my brother Edward Elric to become my lover I no longer cared about the morals or if it was wrong. I loved everything about him I wanted him so desperately to be mine.
That summer I started a bad habit of sneaking in to his room and watching him while he slept night after night. I thought Edward looked like an angel when the moon was at high and leaking through his window painting his tanned skin white. After several weeks passed of watching him in his restful state I was eventually coat be toughs golden pools I had falling so desperately in love with. What had surprised me the most that night was when my brother pressed him lips to mine own. Later that night my wish came true and he became my lover.
I remember how bad I felt when I had to leave him during his sleep that blissful night. I felt so wrong for not telling him we shared the same father but whenever we made love it felt so right. I loved his moans the way he would call my name and our bodies fit together so well I swore it was perfection. That maybe just maybe he was made for me. We hid your relationship from the world around us, only coming to life during our acts of lust and desire. Little did I know that was all he sow during our passion was lust and desire I loved him I was obsessed with my little brother Edward Elric but he loved someone else.
It would of broking my heart if had one, over time my obsession for him became crazy I lost my mind. I desired more than ever for the screams and agony of others I went back to my old ways when killing was my hobby. Over time the lust of my brother become undeniable that is when all my hopes to be with Edward where destroyed that was when I raped my little brother the second son of Hohenheim. After that he was scared of me I can't blame him though after what I did I hated myself. I decided to go against my master I went against Dante's wishes that day. It was that day that I killed my truly special perfect little Edward Elric in the grand hall of the underground city when I reviled my true form, as William the first son of Hohenheim.