"You can stay here," Jacob said as he dumped me on the short couch. "I mean it—right here. I'll get you some dry clothes."
I let my eyes adjust to the dark room while Jacob banged around in his bedroom. The cramped front room seemed so empty without Billy, almost desolate. It was strangely ominous—probably just because I knew where he was.
Jacob was back in seconds. He threw a pile of gray cotton at me. "These will be huge on you, but it's the best I've got. I'll, er, step outside so you can change."
"Don't go anywhere. Just turn around or something." I say, too exhausted to care. He stands in the middle of the room - I couldn't believe he could fit in this overly small house - and crosses his arms as he faces the wall opposite of me. I reach down and peel the cold, wet jeans from my legs, groaning in the process. He laughs, his huge body shaking with it. I roll my eyes and smile; crossing my arms and grabbing at the hem of my shirt. I pulled up until it was about to come off, but my arm got stuck. Of course this would happen to me. I started to panic as I pulled and pulled, but it wouldn't budge.
"What's taking you so long? Need help?" Jacob laughs jokingly, growing tired of standing.
"No!" I retort, pulling even harder. Again, nothing would move. I sighed, embarrassed. "Yes."
"Yes what?" He asks, with a hint of confusion in his voice.
"Yes...I need help." I reply as I give up, letting my arms fall. Well, as much as they could fall.
"I was just messing with you. You really need help?" He asks, still laughing.
"Yes! Stop making fun of me, and please come get this off. It's cold and wet." I groan, never stopping my tugging.
"No problem." He says, too cheery to 'help' me out. "I'll always be here to help you take your clothes off."
"Not like that!" I complain, a blush creeping up my skin.
"Sure, sure." He turned around and grinned; the same boyish grin he had before everything happened. I wished we could go back to how it was. I knew he was unhappy, but he hid it well.
"I think I did hurt my back somewhat with that fall. It's starting to catch up with me." I whine, my lower back aching.
"Only you could get stuck in your own shirt, Bella." He shakes his head, walking towards me. I had a bra on of course, but no boy - not even Edward - had seen me without a shirt. He had always walked out to give me privacy, just like Jacob had offered. It was embarrassing enough that I had to have help taking a shirt off, and I didn't want anything else piling onto that, so I hid my body as much as I could.
"Yeah, yeah, just help please." I laugh breathlessly, as he swiftly pulls it off and over my head.
"I could help you take some more off if you wanted." He smirks, making my stomach tighten.
"I'm fine. Thanks for the amazingly generous offer, though. I'm sure it's from the bottom of your heart." I laugh, and he does too. It was one of my favorite sounds. I let my arms fall to my sides in relief that they were free.
"Definitely." He smiles, trying to keep his eyes on my face. "You could leave it off, you know. I'm half-naked already, so it would even out the score. Although," He says, sweeping his eyes across me quickly. "It's still not quite even."
"Shut up, Jake," I laugh again, even though I felt like it didn't fit with the tense atmosphere.
We were silent for a moment, and I turned to grab his warm shirt from the couch. Before I could, though, he talked.
"I can rub your back if it's hurting, Bella. Seriously." He says, his voice changing from playfulness to worry.
"I'm okay I think." I say, even though it did sound nice.
"C'mon, Bell, I hate to see you hurting. This wouldn't have even happened if I would have been there like I was supposed to. Besides," He smiles, and I knew one of those famous Jacob-Black-sexual-comments were coming once again. "I've been told I'm great with my hands."
"Sure you have, Jake," I roll my eyes, fighting a smile. "Fine, I guess. But I'm putting a shirt on. I'm cold."
"You'll only get half the experience, then. Plus my hands are warmer than that shirt, anyway." He shrugs, and I groan as I laid down face-first against the couch. Maybe he was right. Don't be a coward, Bella. Maybe a shirtless back rub from Jacob wouldn't be bad.
"This way is fine, though." He laughs, but I hear him gulp.
"Don't get in too over your head, there Jake. You might be a killer werewolf, but you're still a teenage boy, too." I grin, finally getting in on the joke.
"Shut up," He smiles, but I can tell he's embarrassed. Finally it was the other way around for once. It was only a few seconds later when I could feel his soft, hot hands on my shoulder. A shiver ran through me, despite the fact that his hands were feverish.
"My lower back, Jake." I swallowed hard, my throat dry and hoarse. I pretended I didn't notice his eyes quickly running over my exposed skin.
"Sure you aren't making this up just so I'll finally put my hands on you?" He asks, but I could tell he was nervous.
"Yes, Jake, finally you understand! I jumped off the cliff just for this moment!" I say dramatically, making him laugh and roll his eyes.
His big, strong hands rubbed against the bottom of my spine. It felt amazing.
"Right there, Jacob." I moan quietly, closing my eyes.
"Jeez, Bella, If I didn't know better, it would sound like you were-"
"-Do not," I say, quickly sitting up and pointing a finger at him. "finish that thought."
"Sorry," He laughs, and I roll my eyes and lay back down. He rubs his hands against my back again, and I have to force myself not to make another sound. We didn't talk, and I could feel the tension between us again.
"You're so..." He says lustfully, his voice finally sounding like a teenager instead of a wise werewolf, far too old for his real age. He doesn't finish his thought. Not aloud, at least.
"Jake," I said softly, as his lips suddenly pressed against my still-cold shoulder. It was meant to hinder his actions, but it came out more like a moan. I quickly shut my mouth and blushed, embarrassed that he had this kind of affect on me. His lips were soft and gentle; kissing my skin with diligent care.
Edward could never touch me this way. It wasn't that he didn't want to per se, but he was too afraid he would lose control. I understood that of course, but I had needs. I was lonely and needed affection, and Jacob filled that void within me. There were other things I wanted, too.
Jacob was warm and safe, and he felt like home to me.
"Jake, what are you doing?" I ask quietly, sitting up and turning around to face him.
"Bella, I can't pretend I'm not in love with you - it hurts too much. I haven't been myself since I've become...you know...and I need you. The others - Paul, mostly - can't control themselves. If they get angry, that's it. They can't stop it. They wonder why I can calm down and not change, and it's...It's because of you. I just have to think of you, and I'm myself again. I can't explain it." He says, seeming angered that he couldn't get the right words out. I blushed and felt uncomfortable, crossing my arms over my chest.
He was my Paris, and I knew it. It was ridiculous to think that Juliet would never get over Romeo. She could grow to love Paris just as much one day, maybe even more.
I couldn't speak. It was as if I was in a nightmare, when something was chasing you and you would scream but nothing would come out. This wasn't a nightmare, though. Not even close.
I parted my lips and let out a gust of air, and he was there, waiting for a reply. Instead of waiting any longer, he took a step, standing behind me now. I was painfully aware that I still didn't have a shirt on. He brushed my hair over my left shoulder, and leaned down, kissing my neck once more.
"Say the word, and I'll stop." He says quietly, hot breath fanning against my neck. My eyes flickered closed and I tilted my head, as he pressed his lips against my jaw, trailing down the length of my pulse. He took my silence as a confirmation, and didn't stop. I didn't want him to.
I knew I should tell him no, this wasn't right, but why should I? Edward didn't own me. He left me, in fact. There was nothing wrong with this. I tensed when I thought of Edward.
"Are you...thinking about him again?" He asks, shrugging sadly as he pulled away.
"I'm sorry, Jake. I wish I could stop it. I wish I could forget." I sigh, sitting on the couch and finally sliding his over-sized-cotton-shirt on. It was warm, but not as warm as he was.
"I could help you forget," He offered, making my face heat up at his suggestion. "It's not fair to you that he's done this. He left you, and you're the one feeling guilty. It shouldn't be like that. You should be living your life like a normal teenager now. You and I can together."
I stayed there silently, the heat of his eyes on me warming my body.
"He couldn't touch you like I can, could he?" He asks as he grabs my hand, and trails kisses up my arm. His eyes don't move from mine. I shake my head, biting my lip. I quickly released it from my teeths grip, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "I don't want your blood, Bella. There's only one thing I want, and I know you want it too. I make you nervous. I can hear your heart racing, Bella; you don't have to pretend anymore. Let go."
"I...I think I'll take you up on your offer," I laughed shakily, my own body betraying me.
"The one where I take your clothes off?" He only smiles now, sweet and warm.
"The one where you make me forget." I reply seriously, looking into his eyes. "Though that might include the clothes one, too."
The smile drops from his expression, and he didn't think anything was funny anymore. He searches my face for any sort of bluff, but when he couldn't find one, he leaned closer. This would be my first kiss with Jake.
He finally pressed his mouth to mine, and it was like an explosion. Unlike Edwards coldness, Jacob was just the opposite. His lips were warm and soft, and his hands wound in my hair. I tried to kiss back, but I was stunned. Not in a bad way - definitely not a bad way - but it was so different from anything I had ever experienced before. He took my stillness as being tense, so he pulled away briefly.
"You want this, right?" He asks, brushing my hair away from my face.
"Yes." I reply, gulping and nodding.
"Then let go. Let everything go. Let him go." He whispers, pressing his forehead against mine.
I closed my eyes, and breathed in his air. I didn't hesitate. I reached my hands up, throwing my arms around his neck to pull him closer. I crashed my lips against his, and for once, he was surprised. He parted his lips against mine, moaning softly. I let my hands slide down his hard, muscled chest, something I had wanted to do for so long. Friends can't do that though, so I had held back.
Things were different than before. I let go. I could do anything I wanted, and he would let me; more than willing.
He was sitting down on the couch, and my knees were straddling him. My lips were desperate against his; hungry and searing with heat. His hot hands were holding onto my waist over my shirt, and then they were under it somehow. He was pulling me against him eagerly, and everything was Jacob. I couldn't even hear myself think over the blood pounding in my ears.
We were passed it. We were passed the point where Edward had always stopped me. It felt good.
"Bella," He gasped against my lips. "I've wanted this for so long. I've wanted you for so long." He whispers, laying his head on my shoulder.
Doing this with Jacob was something that I could never go back on again. After this, he would be around even more than he is now. He would hug and kiss me all the time, and want to take me to the movies on the weekends. He would sneak in my window at night and hold me, and we might even sneak out on other nights. He loved me. We would call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Billy and Charlie would be thrilled.
We were too much alike in the way that this was much more than sex to him. This was probably the least thing he cared about in the scheme of things. He wanted to date me. We were already inseparable, and this would be the defining moment that led to a relationship. It was inevitable, anyway. I loved him too.
"I know, Jake." I sighed, pulling his face back to mine.
Jacob and I were moving in a timeless way. It was as if we were moving fast-forward and in slow motion in the same moment. My head was dizzy and whirling, and I couldn't get enough. My hands were all over - moving from his face, to his chest, to his shoulders; touching every part of his skin. His hands were still on my waist, as if he was too scared to go any farther.
Suddenly his lips detached from mine, and they were on my neck. I pushed my lips together so I could stifle back a moan. Let go, I thought to myself. So I did. I moaned quietly, which seemed to fuel him even more. I pulled gently at his hair, as he left hot, open-mouthed kisses on my collarbone.
Then it slipped. It came out before I could even realize I was saying it, and I couldn't stop it. 'Edward,' I had moaned.
Jacob pulled back and looked at me; a look of hurt crossing his face. I had never seen him look so heart-broken. When he was hurt, I was hurt. I was sick.
His face changed all of the sudden. It went from pain, to bitterness. "I guess I'm not doing a good enough job, then." He says quietly, as he grabs under my thighs and flips me over, pinning me to the couch. I was letting out hard, uneven breaths as he stared down at me. He finally pulled my shirt off, and then he was on me again. His fingers were tangled with mine on both hands, and they were pinned beside me on the couch. I was moaning loudly against his lips, but it felt like I was hearing someone else do it.
Neither of us were experienced with this stuff, but it couldn't have felt more right. It seemed like Jake had had years of experience with this, even though I knew he hadn't. Maybe it was some kind of wolf thing.
"I can make you feel better than he ever could, Bella. I'll show you." He said quietly between kisses, like he had a point to prove. I believed him.
We kissed for a few minutes - both of our breathing unbearably heavy - and then he pulled away. He looked at me for a few seconds, before kissed down my chest, and then slowly kissed down my stomach. I arched my back and moaned, and I could feel him smile against my skin. His mouth was right under my belly-button as he reached up, his hands rubbing up my back. Then they found the clasp of my bra. Right as he started to move his hands to unclasp it, he froze. He sat up, and looked at me.
"Billy's here." He said, his eyes full of panic.
"No," I breathed out, and before I knew it, Jacob had already pulled me up, and put my shirt back on for me.
Then I heard it. Billy's voice was easily identifiable, but he kept it uncharacteristically low, so that it was only a gravelly grumble.
The door opened, and the light flicked on. I blinked, momentarily blind. Jake rubbed his eyes, pretending he had been asleep. My breathing was too heavy.
"Sorry," Billy grunted. "Did we wake you?"
My eyes slowly focused on his face, and then, as I could read his expression, they filled with tears.
"Oh, no, Billy!" I moaned.