So at first glance, this might look like a monster fic. And yes, it is. But it is also incomplete, let's say this much right away. I started writing this a few weeks ago, because I was fascinated by the idea of doing a Victorious/AHS crossover, even though it's not really a crossover, but more like an independent story inspired by the current season of AHS. And I was about 10k words in, when I saw that someone else had published a story with a similar plot, and that caused me to lose my motivation. Still, I didn't want all of this to go to waste, so I added a semi-decent ending and decided to publish this as an incomplete piece that might be continued one day - that strictly depends on you and if you're even interested in this concept.
There might be (a lot of) typos because I typed most of this on my iPad and you know how autocorrect is. Yup.
The first thing that struck her about the building were the walls. Not its secluded location in a forest, far from any signs of civilization, and not the two massive men that were clutching her upper arms, dragging her through the corridors, either. The walls they passed were what made her realize – really realize – for the first time what was happening to her. There was something odd about them. They weren't white, like you would expect from an institution like this. Brown and red and yellow stains covered the crumbling wallpaper, that seemed to be one of the many leftovers of the asylum's foundation in 1964. The corridor was dusty and rather dirty; whoever ran this place obviously didn't care for hygiene all too much.
"Keep walking," one of the men hissed, painfully yanking at the girl's arm. She obeyed, though reluctantly, and quickened her small steps as much as the hobble around her bare ankles would allow. There was barely time for her to take in her surroundings now, metal doors with little barred windows flying by in a blur, which might also have something to do with the injection they had forcefully rammed into her arm before.
Eventually, they stopped in front of the last door on the right, almost causing her to tumble over because of the abruptness in their movements, unlocked it, and shoved the girl in. With a loud bang the door slammed shut, followed by the grinding noise of a shooting bolt. Through the small barred window in the door, she saw one of the men bring a walkie-talkie to his mouth. "Patient three-zero-five-two, Jade West, successfully transferred to Briarcliff Manor, room one-two-six," he briefly announced, while he and his colleague were already walking off again.
Jade waited until their footsteps slowly died away, before she dared make a move. She hugged her pale upper body, trying to get a little warmth through the thin fabric of the gray gown they had made her wear. It barely covered her back and ended right under her knees, leaving the rest of her legs and her feet bare. She only really realized how long she must have stood there when the coldness of the stone floor started seeping through her soles like a dozen needles pricking her.
She finally tore her eyes away from the door and turned around to take a look at the room. The walls, floor and ceiling were all made of plain, gray cement, and to her right Jade found a few odd stains plastering the wall. She didn't bother giving much thought to it, though, and instead walked over to the not very comfortable-looking bed in the middle of the room, plopping down on the yellowed sheets. Except for the bed and a small metal toilet on one side, the room was empty. There wasn't even a lamp or any sign of electricity (to avoid suicide attempts, she assumed), and the only light came from a tiny window above her bed, making it just bright enough for her to spot the tiny scars on her pale hands.
Feeling tired all of a sudden, Jade let her back fall back onto the hard mattress and immediately fell into a fitful sleep.
. . .
There were three loud bangs, the sound of the bolt being moved, and then the door swung open, revealing a dark-skinned man in uniform. Groggily, Jade sat up on her bed, forcing her eyes to stay open. "Time to go to the common room," the guy announced. His voice sounded softer than she had imagined. Maybe not everyone in this nuthouse was as bad as she thought. Still, she didn't move an inch, and just kept staring at the guard firmly. "Don't make this difficult," he sighed. "I know everything is new and you probably think that resistance will get you somewhere, but trust me, it only makes it worse." When she still didn't make a move, he sighed again and walked over to her. "Fine, then I will have to make you come with me."
He leaned forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet. Even if she wanted to, there was no use in fighting it, because she couldn't even remember the last time she had eaten and her body was too weak to defy the sturdy guard. His grip on her was firm, but nowhere near as harsh as that from the guys who had brought her here. From up close, Jade could make out a name tag on his chest. Andre Harris. It didn't sound like the name of someone who worked in a mental asylum. Maybe like a friendly barista. Or a musician.
Andre led her through the corridor that she remembered coming from, until they eventually reached a large wooden double door. Jade could hear old music playing inside, probably from the 50's or 60's, and she wondered what kind of people she would be met with here. The thought made her feel uncomfortable.
Andre opened the door and motioned to her to go inside. Once she was in, he shut the door behind her again, and Jade found herself on her own amongst dozens of strangers. Some of them didn't even took notice of her, because they were too absorbed in boardgames or rather strange seeming activities (one woman was obsessively combing the same strand of her hair over and over again), others stared at her in confusion or interested. Jade tugged at the hem of her gown, trying to cover as much of her body as possible, before she took a few brave steps forward.
Noticing an empty couch in a corner, she tried to get there as fast as possible, while avoiding any encounters with the other patients. None of them seemed to dare get near her, though. Maybe they were fazed by her appearance, Jade thought proudly, because even though they had made her take out her piercings and wash off all her dark make-up when she got here, she still found that she could be pretty intimidating, especially to strangers.
She plopped down on the brown, worn-down leather couch, relieved that there was no one there who told her what to do or looked like they were about to bother her, so that she could just get lost in her own thoughts. It shouldn't have surprised her how much the people in this place resembled the cliched asylum patients from movies or TV shows, yet the strange appearances all around her made her feel more than uncomfortable. Careful not to be too obvious, Jade let her eyes wander across the room. Of course, the large, pointed windows were barred, by the looks of it they didn't even open, but still they let in a lot of light. More than the tiny window in her cell, anyway. There were some tables with boardgames, as well as an old piano that none of the patients seemed interested in.
What caught her attention most, though, were of course the other people that were in the room with her. Lunatics, murderers, maniacs? That's the kind of people that belonged in an asylum like this, as far as she knew, but the majority of what she saw didn't quite match her expectations. Sure, there were a few patients that she would rather not take a look at from up close (an old man who was standing near the window, was repeatedly slamming his head against the bars, his forehead already covered in blood. Another woman kept screaming at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason), but she also saw many that didn't look too worrying.
In one of the chairs at the other end of the room sat a girl that had to be about Jade's age, maybe a year younger, that was clutching a rag doll to her chest. She looked frightened, gazing into space with her eyes wide open, but at the same time hummed a song that Jade identified as some pop tune from a few years ago. What seemed most peculiar about her, though, was her hair. The brown strands seemed to grow unevenly, leaving a few spots of her head visible, and were also of different length.
Next to her, Jade noticed a boy that also didn't seem to be older than eighteen, who was talking to the girl. He was seemingly unimpressed by her appearance, as well as unfazed by the fact that she seemed to be lost in her own world rather than listening to him. Resting on his lap was a big puppet that was missing an eye.
"Hmm, fresh meat." The sudden sound of a male voice behind her made Jade jump. She spun around to find a rather attractive, black-haired boy sitting down next to her, followed by a girl with long brown hair, who took a seat in the armchair across from her. "You're the new one, huh?" he asked, taking a drag on his cigarette. He playfully exhaled the smoke and gave her a smile, revealing a row of perfect teeth that made her wonder how he managed to keep them a brilliant white in a place like this.
When she pressed her lips into a thin line instead of answering, he just kept going, unfazed. "I saw you looking at Robbie," he said, studying her expression. She was pretty, he thought. Extraordinarily pretty. And it wasn't just the fact that she didn't look as worn down as most other people here (yet). Her skin was pale and as fine as porcelain, her tiny face framed by black locks that were traversed by bright, purple streaks. What stood out were her perfect, blue eyes, though, that were now staring at him. "The guy with the puppet. He's harmless. A little weird. But aren't we all?" He let out a toneless laugh. "They had him committed because he thought – thinks – that his puppet, Rex, is a real person. He speaks through him sometimes. It's strange at first, but you get used to it." He paused, scratching the stubble on his chin, and looked at her searching for a reaction.
Jade remained silent. It was obvious by the way she looked at him that she was listening, but her face kept an unfazed expression, no matter what he said. The boy exchanged a quick glance with the girl he had come with, before turning to Jade again. "I'm Beck," he said, taking another drag on his cigarette before motioning over to the girl in the armchair. "And that's Tori. What's your name?"
"Don't waste your time on her, Oliver, she won't say a word," a strong, female voice cut through the room. The three teenagers turned around to see a middle-aged, sightly chubby, dark-skinned woman standing in the doorway, her curly hair tamed into a messy bun on top of her head. Her clothes revealed that she wasn't a patient, but belonged to the personnel.
Beck jumped at the view of her, quickly stubbing out his cigarette on a tiny coffee table next to him. "Shit," he hissed. "Helen."
"Don't bother, I already saw it," the woman said, now walking over to them. The other patients crouched when she passed them, obviously afraid. The woman that had been compulsively brushing her hair before let out a tiny scream when Helen slapped the hair brush out of her hand. She came to a halt in front of Beck, holding out her hand to him. The boy sighed, and reached into the breast pocket on his gray shirt, revealing three loose cigarettes, that he then handed to Helen. "This is your last warning, Oliver. Pull another stunt like this and I'll personally hand you over to Lane."
A loud giggle sounded through the room suddenly, coming from the small girl with the raddled hair that Jade had noticed before. Helen groaned and walked over to her, which caused the giggles to turn into uncontrollable laughter. "Cat," Helen snarled, but the girl didn't even seem to hear her. "Cat!" Helen said again, this time louder.
Immediately, the girl fell silent, staring at the woman with big brown eyes as if nothing happened. "Whatty?"
"Restrain yourself," Helen warned, stressing each word meaningfully. Cat pouted, but nodded, before Helen turned around and shot a warning glance around the room, causing a few people to cover their eyes in fear. "Behave," she said to no one in particular, but kept glaring around. With that, she left, leaving the patients to themselves again.
When she was gone, Beck sighed and leaned back on the couch, running a hand through his hair. "Helen. She runs this place," he explained to Jade, even though she still hadn't said a word. "Really, though," he then said, furrowing his eyebrows. "Can I at least have your name?"
Instead of Jade, Tori was the one who spoke. "Beck," she pleaded. "Maybe we should just... go." She brushed a few loose strands of her long brown hair behind her ear, and shot Jade a worried glance. "You don't know if she's... I mean, you don't know why she's here," she explained quietly, even though her efforts were a waste of time with Jade being just a few inches away.
"Please, Tori," Beck said, slightly amused. "Look around. Out of this whole crazy bunch she's probably the sanest looking."
"That doesn't have to mean anything!" Tori protested, but froze when suddenly, Jade rolled her eyes in an annoyed manner and shook her head at the brunette. "Hey!" Tori complained. "Don't roll your eyes at me!"
Beck chuckled. "Well, you kind of deserved that one." Then he turned to Jade again. "I promise you can trust us. We're not insane. At least not as much as the others."
Jade slightly narrowed her eyes, thoughtfully studying his face as if to find out whether he was trustworthy or not. But before either of them could say anything, Andre appeared next to them. "Making friends?" he asked, and Jade found it weird that his voice sounded almost too friendly. Not that he hadn't sounded nice before, but now it was almost as if he was talking to old friends, rather than to lunatics he had to keep under control.
Beck turned around, his face lighting up. "Andre. How's it going?" he grinned.
"Eh, Trina convinced me to swap shifts with her, so I'm gonna be stuck here all night," Andre told him, making a face at the name Trina. It was a name that Jade hadn't heard before, but the way Andre spoke of her and Beck and especially Tori flinched at her name, she concluded that she had to be a horrible person.
"Well, guess what, I'm gonna be stuck here way longer than just tonight," Beck joked, but there wasn't any bitterness in his voice. It sounded more like acceptance, which made Jade wonder how anyone could just accept that they were never going to be able to walk around freely again.
Andre gave him a pitying smile. "You out of cigs yet?"
Beck rolled his eyes. "I still had three, but Helen took them," he said. "Any chance you can get me some more?"
"Are you sure you wanna take that risk, man? Helen won't put up with you much longer, if she catches you smoking again."
Beck sighed. "This woman is driving me crazy," he grumbled, running a hand through his long, black hair. To Jade's surprise, Tori and Andre laughed. It was obviously a common thing for them to crack jokes about their situation, she assumed. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to be above things to a degree where she could find it funny to be locked up in a mental asylum, but it was kind of nice to see that not everyone seemed to be losing their minds here.
After a short pause, Andre turned to Jade. "I see you already made friends?"
She just glared at him, while Beck spoke up instead. "Except that she refuses to speak to us. I assume she's a stubborn one, huh?" He raised his elbow as if to nudge her, but then decided against it. After all, he didn't know her or what she was capable of.
"Hmh, so I've heard," Andre told him, giving Jade a warm smile. She furrowed her eyebrows, surprised that he was still nice to her, even though she had done nothing to deserve it. "Rumor has it she hasn't spoken a word since the police picked her up a few weeks ago."
"The police?" Tori squeaked, subconsciously sinking deeper into her armchair. With her big brown eyes bulging out of her head, she reminded Jade of a scared deer in the headlight. And Jade didn't like weakness.
Andre nodded. "Yeah, I don't know much about her case, to be honest. Maybe she'll tell you herself? Jade?" He raised his eyebrows and gave her an expectant look. She remained silent.
"So Jade's your name?" Beck eventually said, turning to the black-haired girl. He was smiling as if he had just won a prize, and it made Jade sick. This Beck guy seemed to be exactly the type of guy that she hated. But she still didn't say a word.
At that moment, the door burst open once again, revealing Helen. Andre jumped at the sight of her, taking a few steps away from the others while trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible. Jade could imagine that a woman like Helen didn't like her employees making friends with the patients. "Play time is over," she announced. "Everyone back to your rooms. Now."
The patients immediately broke out into whispers, but obeyed, obviously intimidated by the rather small woman. Jade wondered what she had done to have earned such respect among a house full of people who were capable of who knows what. Slowly, she got up and followed the crowd out of the common room and back to their rooms, which, admittedly, were more like prison cells. Now that she thought about it, everything here came really close to a prison, except for the part that people here were not only criminals (for the most part at least, she assumed), but also insane.
Before she took a turn to get into her own room, Jade saw Tori walk into the one right across from hers.
. . .
Jade couldn't imagine how many hours had passed since they had dragged her into her tiny cell. It was frightening for her to see how quickly you would lose your sense of time in this place, especially since she knew that this was just the beginning. Her only point of reference was her window, but it didn't help much except for telling her if it was night or day. They probably didn't put up clocks in the asylum on purpose to prevent patients from going even crazier seeing how slowly or fast time went by.
She assumed that a few hours had passed since she left the common room. All noises had died down in her corridor, leaving it to a dead silence that was almost more frightening than what she heard when all the other patients were awake.
So all the more frightening were the footsteps she heard all of a sudden, approaching fast. Jade quickly pulled the covers up to her nose and pretended to be asleep, and indeed, the person came to a halt in front of her cell. She could hear their uneven breath, while she didn't dare to breathe herself, fear rippling through her whole body. After a short while, they seemed to turn around and take a few steps back and Jade silently let out the air she had been holding in her lungs, while listening carefully.
"What the heck are you doing?" she heard Tori whisper from the cell across from hers. "Helen will kill you if she finds you here, and I mean literally kill you."
Jade heard a male voice chuckle now, and immediately relaxed. It had to be Beck. "Chill, Tori. I was just curious about the new girl." Said girl was frowning under her covers now, even though she knew he couldn't see her.
"Why are you so interested in her?" Tori hissed in a low voice. "She seems dangerous."
"And I'm not?" Beck asked. Then, after Tori said nothing for a while, (Jade assumed the silence must have been her answer, mixed with some facial expressions she wasn't able to see), he added, "There's something about her, Tori. Something that draws me to her and makes me want to know more about her."
Jade inhaled sharply, but immediately covered her mouth when she realized that they still didn't know that she could hear them. There was another silence, and Jade could only imagine Tori's judging expression that Beck had to endure right now. For whatever reason, the brunette didn't trust her, and Jade couldn't even blame her.
There was a dull sound audible from a few corridors away, but it was enough to make Beck and Tori gasp. "I should go," he said and Jade heard him turn on his heels.
"Be careful," Tori whispered. Then it was silent again.
. . .
"I heard them again last night," Tori said as her and Beck took two seats in the back of the common room the next day. "They sounded angrier than usual. This isn't good, Beck." She gave him a concerned look, kneading her hands that were resting on her lap.
"Mhm," Said Beck and thoughtfully scratched his chin. "Maybe time is running out. For all we know, this could be a ticking time bomb."
Tori furrowed her eyebrows, looking terrified. "Don't say stuff like that," she whispered and glanced around worriedly.
Beck let out a dry laugh. "It's fascinating how easily you're freaked out, considering that you've been in this hellhole for almost two years. You'd think nothing could shock a person anymore, after all the shit we have to put up with here."
"I'm not like you," she pouted.
He opened his mouth, about to retort something, when he spotted someone else entering the common room. The corners of his mouth twitched up into a smirk. "Hey look who's here."
Glancing around with a bored expression, Jade came walking towards the middle of the common room, followed by Andre. When she eventually came to a halt, he gave her a reassuring nod and then left again after briefly waving at Beck and Tori. It wasn't until then that Jade took notice of their presence, but Beck was already on his way to her, a confident smile plastered on his face. She rolled her eyes, but obeyed when he grabbed her arm and led her to the couch where he and Tori had been talking before.
"Still not in the mood to talk, Jade?" he asked, emphasizing her name with a smirk. Instead of an answer, he earned a glare from the black-haired girl. "Okay," he said then, when he realized that he wouldn't get a more satisfying reaction out of her. "You'll come around, eventually." He smiled.
"Beck," a voice that sounded like it had to belong to a little girl suddenly said from behind them. The three teenagers turned around, and Jade was surprised to find the weird girl from yesterday behind them. Her hair looked more tamed this time, combed to the side so that it would hide most of the bare skin on her skull, where big chunks of hair seemed to be missing. Not for the first time, Jade wondered what had happened to her.
Beck's cocky smile from before turned into a soft, concerned one. "What is it, Kitty-Cat?"
"Rex is being mean to me again," the girl explained. "I told Robbie to tell him to stop, but he wouldn't listen." Jade remembered the nerdy looking boy from the day before and also what Beck had said about him. That he thought his puppet was real. And that's all it was, wasn't it? A puppet. She shook her head at Cat, who was talking about 'Rex' as if he was a real person. Maybe she actually belonged in this place, just like that Robbie kid.
Beck sighed. "Robbie," he called across the room. Said boy flinched at the sound of his own name, making a brief squealing noise that Jade found incredibly girly. Like something Cat would do, maybe. "Restrain your puppet," Beck warned, but couldn't help the bored and annoyed tone that shone through his voice.
Robbie gasped. "He's not a puppet!" he screeched, clutching Rex tightly to his chest.
Cat seemed satisfied with this reaction, though, and happily skipped back towards the boy. As soon as she had turned around, Tori and Beck exchanged knowing glances. "At least she isn't getting worse," Beck then said in a hushed voice and Tori nodded.
Jade, having carefully watched the scene, was aching to know more about Cat's case. Sure, the girl didn't seem to be the brightest bulb in the box, maybe a little behind other people here age, intelligence-wise, but apart from that, her behavior didn't seem too abnormal or even dangerous. She couldn't imagine Cat doing anyone any harm. She felt a thousand questions burning on the tip of her tongue, but she refused to let them out. Refused to break. The people here wanted her to live by their rules? Fine, but not without a little "individual" input on her part.
Being lost in her own thoughts, she didn't notice Beck and Tori staring at her at first. Tori was looking at her the same way she had the day before, as if she didn't trust her and also slightly afraid. Beck, on the other hand, she wasn't sure what to make of his expression. And to be exact, she didn't know why he was so fascinated with her anyway. Most people probably would have given up on someone who wouldn't even say a word to them. But for some reason, Beck didn't. It was almost as if the more she tried to push him away, the more he wanted to become her friend.
Deciding that she had enough of Beck for the day, or more like, until she had figured out his motives, she got up without any prior warning and quickly walked over to a chair at the other end of the room, not bothering to look back just once.
. . .
When Andre came to guide her out of her room the next day, Jade didn't find anything unusual about it. Only when she turned to walk around the corner that would lead her to the common room, as every day, and Andre gently tugged at her arm, shaking his head an quietly telling her, "I'm sorry,", she started worrying. She stared at the dark-skinned man wide-eyed, unsure how to react. But before she could even think about the possibility of breaking her own little game and asking him, they came to a halt in front of a big, wooden door that read "Dr Alexander".
Andre gave her one last pitying glance before knocking and, after a voice on the other side of the door told him to come in, shoving her inside the room, a little harsher than when no one else was around. But she couldn't possibly be mad at Andre. He was probably relying on this job and he was already being nicer to her than she deserved anyway.
Once she was inside, Andre quickly excused himself and left, leaving her alone with a man in his mid-thirties. He was staring at her thoughtfully, his dark skin standing out against the white coat he was wearing. Dark shadows framed his eyes; eyes that stared at her in a way that made her shiver. She couldn't really tell why. His features seemed kind, like that of a man who would be well-liked by society, but there was a certain coldness in in eyes that made her feel more than uncomfortable.
"Three-zero-five-two. Jade West," he said, but didn't give off the impression that he was talking to her, but more to himself. Then, he lifted his head and stared directly into her eyes, causing her to flinch. She spotted a name tag on his coat. Dr Lane Alexander it read in clear black letters. "I've read your file. You're a pretty twisted one, aren't you?" With that, he took a few steps closer to her, grabbing her chin with one hand and yanking her face up so she had no chance to escape his fierce stare. "We'll see if that will still be the case after I'm done with you."
Jade had to resist the urge to scream. Instead, she tried to free herself from his grasp, which only caused him to squeeze her face harder. "Now, now," he warned. "You don't want to get that pretty face of yours hurt, do you?" She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut, anything to get away from those terrifying eyes of his. Finally, he let go of her face and grabbed her shoulders instead. Without any warning, he pushed her onto an examination table and before she knew it, the cold metal was pressing against the bare parts of her skin almost painfully. This turned out to be the wake-up call she needed, and finally, her self-defense sense kicked in. Lane, who was standing next to her feet, suddenly found one of her knees hitting his stomach as Jade tried to get up from the table.
"Oh no, honey," he said, angrier than before. "You're not going anywhere." He swiftly grabbed a syringe filled with a yellowish liquid from the table behind him and rammed it into her arm. A sharp pain ran through her veins as they filled with whatever had been inside it and Jade let out a pained cry. Immediately she felt her body go numb. It was something she had never felt before in her life, all control over her limbs seeming to slowly slip away.
Lane gave her a push causing her to fall back onto the table, hitting her head hard. "I hear you refuse to talk," he told her while putting on white rubber gloves. "I don't care if you talk to other people, but you will talk to me. If I ask you something, I want an answer. I don't play games. Understood?"
Jade compressed her lips, trying to look anywhere but him. She wasn't going to break. For no one. She didn't want to let this place change her completely, she didn't want them to control her, she wanted something to hold on to that would make her feel as if she could still be a person, still be herself.
"Bad mistake," Lane said as soon as he realized that he wouldn't get an answer from her. He grabbed a u-shaped device from on of the metal tables that were spread across the large, tiled room, and examined the ends that had white balls that appeared to be made of some kind of fabric stuck on them. Jade desperately tried to move when he placed them on her temples, but her body refused to obey. "Like I said, I don't play games, child."
Lane twisted a button on the machine the things was connected to, and strong electric shocks shot through Jade's entire body. She screamed, a weird sort of pain rippling through her body, until she felt as if her own muscles were suffocating her, and her screams turned into a muffled rattle. The doctor stopped the machine, examining the panting girl mercilessly. He didn't say anything, but instead sent another shock through her twitching body, watching her scream. Jade saw the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile before everything went black.
. . .
"Jade."
The first thing she felt was a throbbing headache, quickly followed by a pang in her painfully dry throat when she attempted to swallow. She kept her eyes squeezed shut, hoping that she could just go back to sleep.
"Jade."
Slowly, she forced her eyes open. It was night, but despite the darkness she recognized the room she was lying in. Her room. Her cell. She took a deep breath, and her whole body ached under the tiny movements of her chest.
"Jade, please."
Only now she recognized the soft voice coming from the other side of her door. Beck. Even though the stinging pain in her arms told her otherwise, Jade propped herself up on her elbows and continued climbing out of her bed as fast as her weakened body would allow. The feebleness that made it hard to even move a finger, reminded her of the helpless feeling of having no control over it whatsoever and she shivered at the memory.
"Jade, thank god," Beck breathed as she slowly, very slowly, approached him, clutching her own chest tightly. She found him pressing his face as far through the tiny window in her door as the bars would allow, while he had a firm grip on the two bars next to his head. "I thought you might be- well, that doesn't matter now. Are you alright?"
"Do I look alright, idiot?" Jade hissed, surprised at the hoarse sound of her own voice. She hadn't used it in such a long time, and the fact that her throat felt as if someone had poured in a whole bucket of sand didn't make it much better.
Beck's eyes widened before a grin spread out over his face. "You talked," he noted, a certain pride noticeable in his voice.
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah whatever." Not that it mattered anymore. She had thought that disobedience might help her survive in this place, but Lane had taught her otherwise. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I was worried when you didn't show up in the common room for a whole two days. I've been in this place long enough to know that that's never a good sign. People have disappeared, you know, and-"
"Wait, wait, wait," Jade interrupted him. "What do you mean, two days? What day is it?"
Beck furrowed his eyebrows. "It's Thursday."
"I was out for two days?" Jade whispered, clearly shocked. "I... This Lane guy. What did he do to me?"
Beck flinched, giving her a stern, worried look. "Lane? That's where they took you?" Jade nodded. "In that case you can be glad that being knocked out for two days was all that happened."
"What do you mean?" she asked, getting impatient with the secretive way everyone here seemed to speak in.
"Helen, Trina,... everyone else here is nothing compared to Lane. He is the worst. Whatever you do, don't mess with Lane. Or he will make you pay for it." He ran a hand through his black hair. "I did once. Once. Almost lost my balls. And I mean literally." He took notice of Jade wrinkling her forehead in a dismissive manner, and grinning, he added, "Don't worry, they still work fine."
Jade rolled her eyes at him. "How did you even get here? Shouldn't you be locked up somewhere?"
He smirked and shrugged. "I have my ways." After a short pause, he added, "But maybe I should get back now before I get caught. See you tomorrow?" He raised his eyebrows hopefully.
Jade sighed. "I guess. It's not like I have much say in this matter."
Beck was satisfied with that and gave her one last smile before he turned around, about to leave. But Jade stopped him.
"Beck?"
He turned around again to face her, and gave her an expecting glance, his expression soft.
"Why are you so nice to me?" She was chewing in her bottom lip, awaiting his answer anxiously.
Beck smiled, hunching his shoulders. "What if I said I liked you?"
Giving the blushing girl one more smirk, he casually strolled away, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
. . .
After Jade had eaten her sparse breakfast the next morning, she already felt a lot better, feeling the strength returning to her body bit by bit. But even though the pain of Lane's torture slowly seemed to fade, the humiliating feeling did not. Even the tiniest bit of belief in her was gone. Where she had thought she might stand a chance against the asylum before, was now the bitter realization that she was absolutely powerless. These people could do with her whatever they wanted, and there was no one who would hear her scream. Who cared if people like her, people in a mental asylum, got treated badly, anyway?
She couldn't help but wonder what gave Beck the strength to keep going despite their hopeless prospect. Especially since he must have been here for a long time already, in a place that took less than a week to break a girl that had been known for her extraordinary stubbornness in the outer world.
When Andre came to bring her to the common room around noon, Jade was still lost in her thoughts. It wasn't like she had many other options, considering where she was, but thinking had become her main occupation in this hellhole, and she spent more time than she would have liked indulging in what-ifs and whys and hows.
"Jade. How are you feeling?" Andre asked softly as he helped her up from her bed. Guilt was evident in his voice, even though Jade didn't blame him for what happened. He was just doing his job, and she could only imagine what would happen to him if he disobeyed, or just if Helen or Lane found out that he was actually friends with some of their 'prisoners'. "It's okay if you don't want to talk to me," he mumbled. "Beck told me that you spoke to him. That's good. I mean, you're gonna need friends in here, trust me. And Beck, he's one of the good guys." He studied her face, trying to find out what was going on in the girl's head.
Jade stayed quiet for most of their walk, until they were almost in front of the doors to the common room. Then, she lifted her head and looked at the dark-skinned man, chewing her lip. "Thank you, Andre."
He looked taken aback by her sudden remark. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that she had actually spoken to him, or rather what she said, that took him by surprise. "For what?" he wanted to know.
"For being nice to me," she said before she disappeared into the common room, closing the door after her. Andre's lips stitched into a smile before he walked off and continued his work.
Inside the common room, Jade noticed Tori sitting at a table with Cat (an unusual sight), playing a card game, while Beck was at the other end of the room, reading what appeared to be a newspaper. Tori was either too lost in her card game to notice Jade, or straight out ignored her when she walked by. Cat gave her a smile and waved at her when she passed, her brown hair sticking out from her head in odd angles. Jade lazily lifted her right hand to greet her back, but kept walking until she plopped down next to Beck on one of the brown sofas.
He looked up from his newspaper, which held anything but news, Jade noticed as she read the date - November 1st, 1999 -, and gave her a big smile. "It's good to see you here again."
She shrugged. "So what's up with you and that Tori chick? Trouble in paradise?"
"Eugh, she's overreacting is all," he told her with a wave of his hand. "She isn't happy with me talking to you and stuff. She thinks you'll try to kill me or something."
"So why are you still talking to me? I'm not even worth the trouble."
"Don't be ridiculous," he said, now grinning. "You're so worth it."
Jade gave him a look, tilting her head, but she couldn't fight the tiny smile that sneaked onto her lips. Then her expression went serious again. "So you and Tori, you're..."
Beck raised an eyebrow at her, chuckling. "Are you asking me if Tori and I are together?" Jade blushed, pouting in a defiant manner. "We're not," he told her. "Never were, never will. Tori is nice, but there's only so much of her I can take." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "And she is probably the only one who doesn't truly belong here. That I know of, anyway. I mean, you can convince me otherwise if you want," he smiled.
Jade furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean? Do you belong here?"
He shrugged. "I guess. But Tori, she's here because of her sister. Trina. I'm sure you've heard of her. She works here as a nurse." He made a face at the thought. "Trina is the one who's crazy, if you ask me. Couldn't stand the thought of Tori having a successful career in singing while she was stuck working as a nurse. So she had her committed."
"Her own sister put her into this nuthouse just because she was jealous of her?" Jade inquired, her eyebrows raised in disbelief.
Beck nodded. "Yup," he confirmed, plopping the p. "She's horrible. I hope you never have the displeasure of meeting her." He seemed lost in his own thought for a moment, before he continued. "Tori and I got here around the same time two years ago. And both of us being the newbies, as well as the only people who seemed halfway right in their mind, it was only natural that we became friends." He paused to study her expression and found her chewing her lip, avoiding his eyes. "What?"
"Why are you here, Beck?" She was now looking him directly in the eye, a certain graveness shining through the blue in her eyes. "Are you... I mean, did you..." she trailed of, unsure how to finish the question that had been occupying her thoughts for as long as she knew him.
He gave her a weak smile. "Another story for anther time."
. . .
Beck had become her closest friend before she knew it. Weeks had passed since a pair of policemen had brought her through the front doors of Briarcliff Manor. Doors that she hadn't even come close to again in all this time. Time seemed to go at a painfully slow pace here. A minute felt like a week, a day like a month. But Beck somehow made it bearable, even though she would had never thought it possible before.
Jade started looking forward to the time she would spend in the common room with the other patients each day, it being her only chance to have a real conversation with someone (not that anyone besides Beck really made an acceptable conversation partner here). They would talk for hours, from the minute either of them joined the other until Andre or another guard or nurse came to bring them back to their respectable cells.
Even though Beck had spent the past two years locked up in the asylum, Jade found that the stories he had to tell were more interesting than any of hers. Not only did he clue her in on the best ways to actually stay safe in this place, but he also told her as much about the background stories of the other patients as he knew, though he still never mentioned anything about his own.
From time to time Cat would join them in a game of cards, which she turned out to be surprisingly good at. Beck told Jade about Cat's story as well, at some point when the ditzy girl hadn't been around to hear them. Jade learned that Cat had been in the asylum the longest. Apparently the girl heard voices in her head. That of a imaginary brother tone exact. This 'brother' would take control over her sometimes, telling her to do dangerous or straight out insane things. From what Beck had heard, she got committed after her 'brother' had made her almost drown herself in a bucket of pig blood (god knows where she had gotten it from). Cat only survived because she came back to her senses in time, but it left her traumatized and confused, so that, in panic, she had ripped out half of her hair with her bare hands when she found it soaked in red blood.
Tori still didn't speak to Beck, let alone Jade. Sometimes Jade would find her glaring at them from across the room, but that was really all she would ever see from her, even though technically Tori was only a few steps away from her each night. Whenever Jade tried to address the issue when she was with Beck, he would just shrug it off, telling her that he had made his decision and that he wouldn't support Tori's childish behavior by giving in and making the first step. Jade stopped asking after a while.
It was exactly three weeks after her admission now, but Jade had lost track of time a long while ago, finding it unnecessarily depressive to know exactly how much time of her life she had already wasted in the asylum. She lazily got out of her uncomfortable bed after a guard's harsh knock had waken her up, followed by a tray of sparse breakfast being shoved in through a slit in her door. It was the same routine every morning, every day just like the other. Jade made a face at the sight of the old, dry bread that was lying next to a plastic cup of water, and her stomach twisted, sick of the hardly substantial food they made them eat here. But she knew that she had to eat it sooner or later. It was either that or starve, she had realized that rather fast.
Jade grabbed a hairbrush that they had luckily let her keep from her window sill, as well as a small handheld mirror Andre had gotten for her after her first week here. She wasn't exactly vain, but oddly enough, seeing her own face from time to time helped her keep a clear head. Slowly she started running the hairbrush through her long black hair, inspecting her hairline that was slowly fading back to her natural brown hair color. She wished she could dye it again, but she also knew how absurd a wish like this was, in a place where they would hardly give her any soap to her baths.
She didn't like the reflection that was staring back at her. Old Jade West would have been ashamed. It wasn't only her hair that was now lacking its former sleekness. Dark shadows were bordering her eyes, prominently standing out against the pale skin of her cheeks. Jade didn't need a scale to know that she had lost weight, and she wouldn't be surprised if she would be able to count her ribs from outside soon. She was more and more turning into one of those worn-out figures she saw lurking around the common room.
Unwillingly, her thoughts drifted off to Beck, and she couldn't help but wonder what he thought of her, now that she had lost her initial advantage over the other patients. But she quickly shook them off, reminding herself that Beck was her friend and that she wasn't supposed to think about him this way. And it was crazy, too, she thought, thinking about boys and dating and relationships in a place like this, if not flat wrong.
After washing down the rubber-like bread with the cup of water and brushing her teeth, Jade sat back down on her bed to wait for Andre, since she knew it couldn't be long until he would come to bring her to the others. She sighed, letting herself fall back onto the creaking bed. She couldn't imagine spending every day for the rest of her life like this. Sure, it could have come a lot worse - she could be stuck in a prison cell without any social contact at all, she could be one of Lane's laboratory rats, could be without any friends (without Beck - she quickly discarded that), could be dead. Still she didn't want to grow old here. As everyone else, even someone like Jade West dreamed of having a nice house, a job, a family. And now she didn't even get to start college. Jade swallowed hard, biting back her tears.
A familiar knock on the door brought her back to reality. Quickly sitting up and fixing her hair with one swift move, she got up from her bed and reminded herself that Jade West didn't do reminiscing and moping. Jade West was stronger than that. (Just how much of Jade West was left? a little voice in the back of her mind asked.)
Andre came walking into her room, giving her a smile. "You ready?" he asked. Jade could tell by the soft way he was speaking that there probably weren't any other guards or nurses near them. Confirming with a nod, she walked towards him and followed him out of her room. Her legs almost automatically led her to the common room, and she was mildly surprised that she still found herself studying the little details on her way, even though it was the same sight greeting her every day.
Andre followed her into the room this time, but while she took a seat in her usual spot on one of the couches next to Beck, who was already waiting for her, he positioned himself next to the black-haired boy, still standing, and quickly handed him something that Beck had obviously been expecting, since he let it glide into his pocket in one swift move, without even looking twice. All of this happened so fast, that Jade was sure that no one except her would even suspect that something had been going on.
"I owe you one, man," Beck smiled at Andre, who just shrugged.
"You owe me way more than that," he grinned. "Just don't get me in any trouble," he warned, before he gave Jade one last friendly nod and left.
Beck turned to Jade, his signature smirk playing on his lips, while he casually propped his elbow against the backrest. "How's it going?"
Jade raised an eyebrow. "You really expect me to pretend that this didn't just happen?"
"Nope," he grinned. "I was actually hoping you'd ask." She gave him an expectant look, but he made a meaningful pause before continuing, a perky smile on his lips at all times. "Any plans for tonight?"
She narrowed her eyes, carefully inspecting his face for any signs indicating if he was being serious or not. "What are you saying?"
"You heard it."
"Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense to me."
Beck's grin grew even wider. "Okay," he said. "Let me rephrase it for you. Will you, Jade West, go on a date with me tonight?"
"A- A what?" Her eyes widened in shock and she nervously ran a hand through her hair, trying to recollect herself. "You're crazy," she muttered.
"Aren't I?" he smirked and she rolled her eyes. She would never get used to this kind of humor. "So it's a date?"
She bit the inside of her cheek, thinking his words over, but before she could reply, the door at the other end of the room burst open and a nurse with brown long hair came walking in, stomping right over to where Beck and Jade were. Jade knew who it was, she had seen her before and heard of her even more so, but never before had she had to deal with her personally - Trina Vega, the nurse who locked up her only sister in this hellhole for her own end.
"Jade West?" Trina asked, obviously annoyed by the fact that they had made her come here. Jade knew that the brunette usually avoided work and especially having to deal with patients as much as possible. Jade just gave her a cold stare, feeling Beck tense beside her. Trina didn't bother to ask again, it probably didn't matter to her whether she had the right person or not. "Lane wants to see you," she told her coldly.
Jade flinched at the memory of what happened last time she had to see Lane, and at the same time felt Beck instinctively grab her hand and squeezing it protectively. "Why?" he asked instead of her, holding on to Jade's hand tightly.
"That is none of your business, Beck," Trina hissed, then turned to Jade again. "Now come with me. Lane doesn't like to be kept waiting, and I certainly don't want to be the person he lets his anger out on." She grabbed Jade's arm, her long pink fingernails digging into her skin painfully, and pulled her to her feet.
Jade glanced back at Beck as Trina dragged her away with her. Fear was evident in her eyes, but both knew that there was nothing they could do without risking to end up getting tortured or even killed by the crazy doctor. He held on to her hand until it slipped out of his grip and Jade immediately missed his warmth as the cold air wrapped around her hand instead of his.
As Trina dragged her along the corridors, an just all-too familiar way, Jade couldn't shake off her hopes of getting out of Lane's office in one piece, but not only for the obvious reasons, but also because she actually found herself looking forward t whatever Beck had planned for them.
"Jade," Lane said when Trina shoved her into his office, looking up from the papers he had been reading. "Very good. You may leave," he told the nurse and she let out a factitious sigh of relief to show her annoyance with the whole situation before she stalked out of the room.
Jade clenched her fists anxiously while she waited for Lane to make the next move. The doctor seemed to be studying her features. He let his glance wander from her face down her body, and she felt herself squirm uncomfortably under his stare. "I have developed a new method to deal with teenagers like you," he eventually said. "Poor, sick, twisted, souls. Like you, Jade." She was chewing in her lip, biting down on it harder with every word Lane said. The pain she felt gave her some form of comfort, making her feel as if there was at least something familiar in this hellhole.
"Now all I need," Lane continued. "Is someone to test my method on. I need to prove its efficiency." He cracked a horrifying smile as he noticed the fear in Jade's eyes. "See, I knew you'd be smart enough to understand your part in this." He motioned to an uncomfortable looking white linen chair to his right. "Sit down."
Jade didn't dare disobey and slowly lowered herself on the chair. To its sides were small metal tables, holding different devices and cables that led to the horrible thing that she'd been tortured with last time. She flinched at the memory of the galvanic pain shooting through her whole body, from her head to her toes. The doctor fastened belts around her wrists, that would keep her from getting away.
"It's simple," he explained as he stuck electrodes to her head and arms. The coldness of his fingers made her shiver every time they came in contact with her pale skin. "I ask you a question, you answer. If it is the wrong answer, you will be punished. That way you will learn right from wrong. It's a simple set-up coming from ethology that has successfully been tested on animals before." He looked her directly in the eye while he placed the last electrode just below her neck. "And let's be honest, Jade. You, all of you, are nothing more than that - filthy animals, a disgrace to the human race. That's why you're here, and that's why you can never be let out."
Jade pressed her lips together to a thin line as he spoke. She was too scared of what this man might be capable of to question anything or even move a muscle. It felt unnatural to her to be this obedient and quiet, but it was pure fear that kept her from doing anything stupid.
"Let's see if this works," Lane suggested and adjusted the machine next to him up. Jade felt power surges pulsating through her body, small at first, but still unpleasant for her, so that she started winding on the chair. The doctor observed her reactions and kept adjusting until the impulses were strong enough to make her cry out in pain. "It's obviously not as strong as last time," he explained. "We don't want you passing out again, do we?" He gave a grin, revealing a row of perfect, white teeth. "Let's begin, shall we?"
. . .
Her whole body felt sore and she could have sworn that she still felt tiny surges of electricity rushing through her muscles, even though she knew it wasn't possible. By now, it was dark outside, but not as dark as usual. The moon stood bright in the black sky, letting in soft light through her tiny barred window and bathing her in a mixture of shining skin and dark blue shadows.
Letting out a sigh, she squeezed her eyes shut. She had been laying awake for what must have been hours, waiting, and wondering if Beck would still come. Maybe he thought she was passed out again like last time she had gone Lane and cancelled whatever plans he had had for them.
Jade had just decided that he wouldn't come anymore, when she heard a soft knock on her door, followed by a rustling, before her door suddenly swung open, revealing a silhouette that she quickly identified as Beck. She propped herself up on her elbows and watched as he tiptoed over to her side. "Hey," he said softly while sitting down by her side.
Jade smiled. "Hey." To her surprise, her throat wasn't as hoarse as she had expected it to be after screaming her lungs out just a few hours before. "How did you-"
Beck broke her off by shaking his head and carefully placed a hand on her bruised arm, trying not to touch any sore spots."That doesn't matter. How are you feeling?"
"Okay," she replied honestly. "I mean, it could be a lot worse."
He nodded knowingly before letting out a sigh. "I was going to show you something tonight, but I guess we'll have to postpone it until you're feeling better." He gave her a reassuring smile, the hand that wasn't resting on his arm finding its way to his hair, like it always did. Jade had been quick to notice this habit of his just a few days after her arrival.
"No!" she complained, grabbing his arm. "I feel fine, we can go." It wasn't exactly a lie. Though Jade still felt a little dizzy and sore, she was convinced that her body was strong enough to handle whatever Beck had planned. She really (really) wanted to go, and Jade was used to getting what she wanted (not that it had happened a lot in the time she had been here). The prospect of spending some time out of her cell and unsupervised for the first time in weeks, especially with Beck, was just too tempting to think about her aching body.
To underline her statement, she pushed herself up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, ready to stand up. Beck was right by her side, wrapping his muscular arms around her for support, and she wondered how he managed to keep himself this fit in here. "Are you sure?" She met his worried glance and affirmed with a nod, before she carefully shifted her weight to her legs.
To her surprise, it didn't hurt and wasn't as straining as she had thought it would be. Beck still held onto her tightly, while they made their way to her door at a steady pace. "We have to be quick while we're still in the corridors," he explained in a hushed voice. "but the guards are usually asleep at this time - needless to say they aren't very good at their jobs," he added, smiling lightly. "Just trust me and we'll be okay."
Jade nodded and let Beck guide her through the dark corridors of the old building. She recognized them, it was the same way she had gone to get to Lane's office earlier. The mere thought of being near this place sent shivers down her spine, but she dissembled her fear in front of Beck. Seeming weak was one of the many things Jade despised. He led her to an old-looking door near the end of the corridor, and skillfully unlocked it with a small metal stick he carried in his pocket. Even though Jade was half expecting an awfully loud creak that might give them away, it swung open soundlessly and Beck pulled her into the darkness, carefully shutting the door behind them.
He pulled out a small flashlight and turned it on, revealing a staircase in front of them. Jade vaguely remembered the day they had brought her in here, the castle-like look of the building and the round tower. This had to be it. "Careful," Beck said before he took her hand to lead her up the stairs. "They might be a bit brittle."
The pair made their way upstairs, until they reached the only room in the whole tower. It was round like the outside, but most importantly, it had three big, open windows. Not the kind they used anywhere else, but real windows, with no bars. Also seemed the room a lot friendlier than anything she had seen in Briarcliff Manor, because even though it was a little dusty, it had a nice atmosphere and welcoming furniture, including a thick, round carpet in the middle. Jade inhaled sharply, amazed at the sight. She would have never thought that things as simple and mundane as these would have this effect on her.
Letting go of Beck's hand, she strolled over to one of the windows and stuck her head out into the cold night air. It was beautiful. Jade had never realized how good it felt to have a light breeze brushing her cheeks and fresh air filling her lungs. She almost felt free again.
When she turned around again, she found Beck watching her with a knowing smile. She smiled back at him. "So this is where you usually go when you leave your cell?"
He nodded. "Yeah, but it's not like I can do it all that often or they'll notice." He took a few steps closer to her. "So you like it?"
"Yes... thank you," she quietly said eyes fixes on her feet.
"No prob," Beck replied grinning, then grabbed her hand. "Come on," he said. "There's something else." He led her to the middle of the room and sat down on the soft carpet, patting the spot next to him. "Come sit." Jade gave him a suspicious glance, but obeyed, plopping down on the carpet as well. "Now lie down."
"What?!"
"Do you trust me?"
Her blue eyes met his with a thoughtful glance, and she nervously chewed on her bottom lip, before she slowly nodded. "Yes."
"Then lie down," he smiled, leaning back himself until he was fully stretched out on the floor. Jade followed his suit and gasped as soon as her eyes found the ceiling. Above them wasn't a usual concrete wall as she had expected, but a glass dome, that was as good as transparent. She could imagine that if you just laid here long enough, you could trick yourself into thinking you were outside, under the sky. The stars where shining brightly and Jade couldn't remember the last time she had set her eyes on them.
Beck watched her quietly, while a smile was playing on his lips. "Wanna know my secret to stay sane in here?" he asked after a while. She didn't reply, but instead just tore her eyes away from the beauty of the night to look at him. "I imagine what moments in my life would be like if I wasn't in here," he continued. "Like, right now, if we weren't in here..." He let his hand wander over the carpet to find hers and entwined their fingers. Jade shivered at his touch, unsure where this sudden emotional tension was coming from. She felt as if she was going to explode, but at the same time oddly relaxed and comfortable in his presence. "I'd be taking you out on a real date," he said, and she closed her eyes, trying to imagine what he was telling her. "Maybe go see a movie, or have dinner. Like a really cliched date, that we'd both soon find boring, so we'd go somewhere else. Probably a nice, quiet park. We would just walk and talk for hours, until we were both chilled to the bones, but happy." There was no sadness or anger in his voice, no grief for the loss of his freedom, just a longing tone, but Jade couldn't help but feel an emptiness inside her, because she knew that she could never have any of these things.
Beck paused, and she opened her eyes to see if anything was wrong, but she just found him staring at her, taking in her features in the dim moonlight. She didn't even notice how close their faces were, until he continued speaking and she could feel his warm breath on her face. "We would decide that it was time to go home, our feet tired, but our minds still wide awake. I'd walk you home, because cabs are just not our thing." She gave a light chuckle at his words. "And when we'd be on your doorstep, about to say goodnight,-" He brought up his hand to cup her cheek. "I'd do this." He leaned in and pressed his warm lips on hers, carefully, as if to see how far he could go. But Jade immediately responded to his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck to bring him closer to her.
They unwillingly broke apart for air after a while, but their arms still remained wrapped around each other. (Jade honestly couldn't remember when they had become a mess of limbs.) Beck brushed a strand of hair out of her face, letting his hand rest on the side of her head. "I can't remember the last time I felt this way towards someone, Jade," he told her, and his voice was almost a whisper. "Especially not in here. I honestly didn't even consider it possible." He took a deep breath. "And I can't even tell if this is a good thing or the worst mistake of our lives, but right now I don't want anything but to be with you."
She gave him a weak smile, stroking his cheek. "What have we got to lose?"
He returned her smile, even though a certain sadness was evident in his eyes. But when he spoke, his voice was clear and certain.
"Nothing."