Broken

Warnings: Slight drug reference. Sexual abuse reference. Character Death.

I breathe, I hear, but I don't believe it

My heart, it beats, but inside I'm freezing

(Leona Lewis – Alive)

It's cold, but I'm numb. I know its cold because it was when I was up there, but down here it's peaceful. At first there was pain. Pain at the howling wing thrashing into me. Pain at what he'd done. Pain at what I'd become. But then I jumped. The impact hurt but then I went deeper and felt nothing. Nothing. Just numbness travelling through my veins. But that pain was worth it. For the first time in the past year I'm calm. Not the drug induced calm that I got but natural painless calm, knowing there wouldn't be a come down or a withdrawal. Just calmness.

I know it's near the end now; the bubbles are no longer slamming out from in-between my lips that were trying to contain my miserable life. Its odd how dying can make you feel alive.

Sammy will understand. Eventually. He has to. But I need to do this. I can't carry on knowing that what he did to me makes Sammy feel that his brother is gone and that the shell that's left is going to fall apart at any moment. I can't carry on knowing that's right. They, Dad, Sam and even Bobby can get on with their lives without me holding them back.

I wonder who will find me. As long as it isn't Sammy I don't care. I won't be their problem anymore. My eyes have closed now, I think. I see nothing in this peaceful nothingness. Finally I can be free again.

I saw him do it. Poor lad couldn't be older than seventeen. He looked so broken.

I called the police. I called the number on the 'MISSING' poster too. They're all on their way but it's too late. A smile placed his face, green eyes shined from where I was standing, he jumped in, became one with the water.

I couldn't see him. When I got to the water's edge I jumped in anyways. After the fourth time of coming up for air I felt something. Dragged him up by his arm. Lay him on the river bank, attempted CPR. He was gone, but what made my tears fall wasn't the dead kid at my side but the look of contempt on his face. I didn't know what had happened to him but I could tell that he was finally at peace. Free.

Five minutes later the police arrived. Dean Winchester was his name. Been missing for six months. Twenty minutes later his dad held on to him, apologizing for ever leaving him with 'that' man in the first place. Then I knew why Dean had jumped.

You can take away everything

Leave me lying on the floor

All those sorrys

We can't go back to the start

You can't fix me

I'm torn apart

(Leona Lewis - Broken)

Thanks for reading. This was just floating around in my head so I wrote it down. Thoughts?

For anyone reading 'it's not that easy' don't worry I won't abandon it, I've been hit with the dreaded writers block. I'm working on it.