Death Eaters Meeting

by Major Dover111

Ever wonder what goes on in a secret meeting with Voldy and his death eaters?

Ever wonder what goes down at a Death Eaters meeting? Well luckily me and my crew were able to get some unseen footage.

This has never been released in the public...until now

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(Scene: In Tom Riddles house, at the great table in the dining hall)
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*le gasp*

*Voldemort arrives, cloak billowing like a raven, looking murderous*

*le sits down at head of table*

*takes out wand*

Voldemort: "Hello...is this thing on... testing...testing?"

Snape: "Yes, my lord, we can hear you clearly"

Voldemort: "Even Carrow...he's way down at the other end of the table"

Snape: "Yes, my lord"

Voldemort: "Are you sure Severus...HEY AMYCUS CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

Snape: "HE CAN YOU HEAR MY LORD!"

Voldemort: "No need to yell Severus, I can hear you"

Snape: *le sigh*

Voldemort: So, let's begin shall we? We will start with Fenrir, any news?

Greyback: Uh...I ate a turkey sandwhich for lunch

Voldemort: "Excellent, Excellent...very impressed...how about you Bellatrix?"

Bellatrix: "Well, my lord, I killed three muggleborns, set fire to a muggle barn and captured some prisoners"

Voldemort: "...I'm very dissappointed in you Bella"

Snape: "If I may interject, my lord, Bella has been the most productive this week"

Voldemort: "Oh Snaperdoodle, I'm sure she has, but Fenrirs turkey sandwhich is much more impressive"

Greyback: "Thank you, my lord"

Voldemort: "Now, how about Lucius...any news to share?"

Lucius: "My lord, ...Draco is having problems with his wand"

Voldemort: "Has he tried Viagra...it works like magic"

Lucius: "Ah...no, not that KIND of wand, my lord, his actually wand"

Greyback: "Has he tried looking at Playboy?"

Lucius: "NOT THAT KIND OF WAND!"

Bellatrix: "I see someone started her period"

Lucius: "SHUT UP BELLA!"

Voldemort: "Please, please, let's be nice, I don't want to Avada Kedavra anyones' ass today"

Snape: "My lord, with my sincerest request, may we not use course language?"

Yaxley: "Fuck"

Snape: "I do not appreciate you mocking me Yaxley"

Yaxley: "I don't appreciate you being a twit"

Lucius: "Yaxley, it's very obvious your a homosexual"

Voldemort: "Really?"

Lucius: "Rookwood saw him at a local gay bar where he was scouting"

Yaxley:"Lies..filthy lies!"

Voldemort: "Well, we will let Yaxley deny his apparant homesexuality and go on to... Travers"

Travers: "Well, should I really be in this fanfiction...I mean I'm metioned in all seven books like two times"

Snape: "That's because no one likes you"

Travers: "Eat my wand Severus"

Snape: "I'll leave that to Yaxley"

Yaxley: "I'M NOT GAY!"

Bellatrix: "When you deny it your only hurting yourself"

Wormtail: "I like to pretend I'm flying through clouds and singing sweet melodies"

*le awkward silence*

Voldemort: "All right then...who's next?"

Lucius: "My lord, may I speak?"

Voldemort: "If you must, you silly hobo"

Lucius: "Well I know the muggleborns have caught on to some of our...what is it Yaxley?"

Yaxley: "How do you drown a blonde?"

Lucius: "Yaxley, we do not have time for jokes"

Voldemort: "No, let him continue, I'd like to hear it"

Yaxley: "Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool"

*le whole room burst into laughing*

Lucius: "I do not find that funny Yaxley"

Snape: "Lucius, are you even a natural blonde?"

Lucius: "I ...uh...how dare you..that...is...well"

Draco: "It isn't, he bleaches it"

Lucius: "Shut your dirty little mouth Draco"

Travers: "Or don't, Yaxley might enjoy it open"

Voldemort: "Oh, that was a good one Travers, I think I won't kill you tonight"

Travers: "Much appreciated, my lord"

Snape: "Bella, will you please stop clinging to me like a horny koala?"

Bellatrix: "Maybe if you would move your greasy head, I wouldn't have to be so close"

Voldemort: "On a different note, where is Rowle?"

Snape: "His wife contacted us saying he was asleep by his pool, it seemed he drank too much firewhiskey"

Voldemort: "Amateur"

Snape: "She also said he smoked some stuff only used for Nigerian spirit quests"

Bellatrix: "He won't be back for a week"

Voldemort: "So, is that all...can we conclude our top secret death eater meeting?"

Snape: "I believe so, my lord"

Voldemort: "Good, I need to go take a bubble bath"

*le voldemort exits*

Snape: "So Yaxley, you gonna go be homosexual tonight?"

Yaxley: "For the final time, I'm not gay"

Whole Room of Death Eaters: "Lol Ok"

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-End-