BWAHAHA! Time to do a CLICHE FIC the RIGHT way!!!! Warnings: YAOI (and lots of it, praise Shinigami), Character-bashing (mostly Relena. hey, it's fun), and those damn cliches I keep seeing here. From the spin the bottle fics to those damn "Duo Discovers (Fill In Idiocy Here)" fics. Yes, I'm gonna attack 'em all! MUAHAHAHAHA!
"Annoying Cliches The Way It SHOULD Be Done"
by Shinigami Baby
PART ONE:
The Annoying Spin The Bottle Fic
Heero looked up from his "How To Kill A Stalker" book for a minute and noticed something was odd. People that didn't belong in their safe house were there. Heero frowned and put his fuzzy hot pink bookmark in his book, then stood up to go check things out.
Upon entering the living room, he saw... a disturbing sight. Everyone he knew was seated in a circle playing... *gulp* SPIN THE BOTTLE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Relena spotted him in an instant and motioned for him to sit down. "Heeeeeeroooooo! Here I am so come and SIT WITH ME!"
Heero sighed and did her bidding. Things were so much easier if he didn't struggle. He took note of his company. The usual other four Gundam Pilots were there, along with Zechs, Noin, Sally, Hirde, Dorothy, and Catherine... and IT(Relena). 'Why the Hell are all these people here???' Heero wondered. 'Especially Zechs and Dorothy. Aren't they the bad guys right now?'
Relena grabbed the bottle and held it up. "We can begin playing now since Heeeeerooooo is here with us." She set it down on the floor and gave it a spin. It stopped at... OH MY GOD! IT STOPPED AT HEERO! WOW! WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING?
Giggling like the moron that she is, Relena leaned over and kissed Heero lightly on the cheek. After this happened, our poor Heero made a run for the bathroom and scrubbed his cheek raw. Satisfied, he exited the bathroom and spun that damn bottle. It stopped in between Relena and Duo. Heero quickly dove at Duo and gave him a long kiss.
Relena sat there dumbfounded. "HEY! It landed in the *middle*!"
Duo wiped his mouth, a wide grin on his face. "Hee-chan already kissed you, though." He stuck his tongue out at her and pulled his eyelid down.
Relena pouted. "How unfair! If I weren't an annoying pacifist, I'd kick your ass!"
Quatre opened his mouth in protest, but decided to keep quiet... for now.
Duo spun the bottle and it stopped on Wufei. Just before he could get to Wufei, however, stupid Hirde jumped in the way and puckered her Herpes infected lips. Duo screeched in fear and hid behind Heero.
Wufei shrugged and spun the bottle. When it stopped on himself, he shrugged and spun it again, this time it landed on Quatre. Noticing the look he was getting from Trowa, Wufei just decided to hand the bottle to Quatre and forget the kiss. He *did* value his life, you know.
Quatre spun the bottle, then Trowa stopped it and pointed it at himself. Quatre happily complied and kissed his koi. Satisfied, Trowa spun it next and it landed on Dorothy.
Dorothy shook her head feverently. She was saving her first kiss for either Zechs or Relena. And from the looks of things right now, niether looked promising. So, she just spun the damn thing, hoping it would fall on one of them. And it did.
"Oh Miss Relena! You're so beautiful!" Dorothy proclaimed as she glomped onto her conquest and kissed her. Sure, it was innocent enough at first... until Dorothy's hands were finding themselves in the strangest places... not that Relena minded.
Annoyed with this damn cliche fic already, Shinigami Baby changed the scenery.
PART TWO:
The Damn "Duo Discovers Something" Fic
Duo Discovers SEX! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Duo sat on his bed reading a magazine. Heero walked into his room and looked over his shoulder.
"What the Hell are you reading, Duo?" Heero asked, pointing to the magazine.
"Cosmo" Duo grinned.
Heero arched an eyebrow. "Why?"
"The hair tips mostly. And I like to read the little horoscopes. Did you know that this month, I'm supposed to come into a lot of money?"
"Those bullshit horoscopes always say that." Heero said, looking down at the magazine. He blinked. "Duo?"
"Yeeees?"
"This isn't the horoscope section... OR the hairtips thingy." Heero pointed out at the page that clearly stated '10 Ways To Drive Him Wild In Bed'.
Duo blushed. "Oh.. heh. Well I read this section, too! It's really informative, you know."
"Duo... you're a guy."
Duo nodded. "A *gay* guy." Duo corrected. "Besides, it may come in handy some day."
It was Heero's turn to blush. "So, um..."
"Hmm?"
Heero sat on the bed with Duo and read the page with him. "Do you wanna try some of that stuff and see if it works?"
"Pick a number." Duo smirked.
"Number 6" Heero said, a smirk of his own appearing.
Duo nodded. "Yeah, that looks like fun." He stood up. "You stay here, I'll go get some stuff from Quatre's room." Duo took off.
Heero fell back on the bed. This was going to bed fun. =^_^=
Another change of scenery... Diddle-doot, Diddle-doot, Diddle-doot...
PART THREE:
Truth or Dare!!!
Shinigami Baby squirmed. She didn't even *want* to do this one, it was so over-done. And with that, she skipped this extremely annoying cliche all together.
END
Variety... it's really something else. You know... out of all these cliche fics, I only read one good one. It was Didi's Truth or Dare one =^.^= Before everyone else started doing them, too! If I offended anyone, I apologize, this was all in good fun. You know... like a parody. Just be glad I don't MST some of these fics... It'd be brutal. Oh well! Jaaaa!
~Shinigami Baby
"Annoying Cliches The Way It SHOULD Be Done"
by Shinigami Baby
PART ONE:
The Annoying Spin The Bottle Fic
Heero looked up from his "How To Kill A Stalker" book for a minute and noticed something was odd. People that didn't belong in their safe house were there. Heero frowned and put his fuzzy hot pink bookmark in his book, then stood up to go check things out.
Upon entering the living room, he saw... a disturbing sight. Everyone he knew was seated in a circle playing... *gulp* SPIN THE BOTTLE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Relena spotted him in an instant and motioned for him to sit down. "Heeeeeeroooooo! Here I am so come and SIT WITH ME!"
Heero sighed and did her bidding. Things were so much easier if he didn't struggle. He took note of his company. The usual other four Gundam Pilots were there, along with Zechs, Noin, Sally, Hirde, Dorothy, and Catherine... and IT(Relena). 'Why the Hell are all these people here???' Heero wondered. 'Especially Zechs and Dorothy. Aren't they the bad guys right now?'
Relena grabbed the bottle and held it up. "We can begin playing now since Heeeeerooooo is here with us." She set it down on the floor and gave it a spin. It stopped at... OH MY GOD! IT STOPPED AT HEERO! WOW! WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING?
Giggling like the moron that she is, Relena leaned over and kissed Heero lightly on the cheek. After this happened, our poor Heero made a run for the bathroom and scrubbed his cheek raw. Satisfied, he exited the bathroom and spun that damn bottle. It stopped in between Relena and Duo. Heero quickly dove at Duo and gave him a long kiss.
Relena sat there dumbfounded. "HEY! It landed in the *middle*!"
Duo wiped his mouth, a wide grin on his face. "Hee-chan already kissed you, though." He stuck his tongue out at her and pulled his eyelid down.
Relena pouted. "How unfair! If I weren't an annoying pacifist, I'd kick your ass!"
Quatre opened his mouth in protest, but decided to keep quiet... for now.
Duo spun the bottle and it stopped on Wufei. Just before he could get to Wufei, however, stupid Hirde jumped in the way and puckered her Herpes infected lips. Duo screeched in fear and hid behind Heero.
Wufei shrugged and spun the bottle. When it stopped on himself, he shrugged and spun it again, this time it landed on Quatre. Noticing the look he was getting from Trowa, Wufei just decided to hand the bottle to Quatre and forget the kiss. He *did* value his life, you know.
Quatre spun the bottle, then Trowa stopped it and pointed it at himself. Quatre happily complied and kissed his koi. Satisfied, Trowa spun it next and it landed on Dorothy.
Dorothy shook her head feverently. She was saving her first kiss for either Zechs or Relena. And from the looks of things right now, niether looked promising. So, she just spun the damn thing, hoping it would fall on one of them. And it did.
"Oh Miss Relena! You're so beautiful!" Dorothy proclaimed as she glomped onto her conquest and kissed her. Sure, it was innocent enough at first... until Dorothy's hands were finding themselves in the strangest places... not that Relena minded.
Annoyed with this damn cliche fic already, Shinigami Baby changed the scenery.
PART TWO:
The Damn "Duo Discovers Something" Fic
Duo Discovers SEX! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Duo sat on his bed reading a magazine. Heero walked into his room and looked over his shoulder.
"What the Hell are you reading, Duo?" Heero asked, pointing to the magazine.
"Cosmo" Duo grinned.
Heero arched an eyebrow. "Why?"
"The hair tips mostly. And I like to read the little horoscopes. Did you know that this month, I'm supposed to come into a lot of money?"
"Those bullshit horoscopes always say that." Heero said, looking down at the magazine. He blinked. "Duo?"
"Yeeees?"
"This isn't the horoscope section... OR the hairtips thingy." Heero pointed out at the page that clearly stated '10 Ways To Drive Him Wild In Bed'.
Duo blushed. "Oh.. heh. Well I read this section, too! It's really informative, you know."
"Duo... you're a guy."
Duo nodded. "A *gay* guy." Duo corrected. "Besides, it may come in handy some day."
It was Heero's turn to blush. "So, um..."
"Hmm?"
Heero sat on the bed with Duo and read the page with him. "Do you wanna try some of that stuff and see if it works?"
"Pick a number." Duo smirked.
"Number 6" Heero said, a smirk of his own appearing.
Duo nodded. "Yeah, that looks like fun." He stood up. "You stay here, I'll go get some stuff from Quatre's room." Duo took off.
Heero fell back on the bed. This was going to bed fun. =^_^=
Another change of scenery... Diddle-doot, Diddle-doot, Diddle-doot...
PART THREE:
Truth or Dare!!!
Shinigami Baby squirmed. She didn't even *want* to do this one, it was so over-done. And with that, she skipped this extremely annoying cliche all together.
END
Variety... it's really something else. You know... out of all these cliche fics, I only read one good one. It was Didi's Truth or Dare one =^.^= Before everyone else started doing them, too! If I offended anyone, I apologize, this was all in good fun. You know... like a parody. Just be glad I don't MST some of these fics... It'd be brutal. Oh well! Jaaaa!
~Shinigami Baby