Haha, so I came up with this story while I was listening to Right Round by Flo Rida, and I just got finished playing KH II for the second time, and I was like, what if all the characters went to a strip club? Then I was like, no, that's stupid.
Later, I was thinking how- throughout the game- Sora earns more money than he could ever possibly spend, and weren't people suspicious? In this fic… someone gets suspicious. Combine ideas about strip clubs with Sora's excess of money… and this is what you get.
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"Hey Pence… have you ever noticed that Sora always seems to have plenty of munny?" Hayner had been throwing darts at the board for over ten minutes, puzzling this thought.
"Not really. He's a nice, hard working guy. I just assumed he made an honest living in Sunset Terrace or whatever." Pence cleaned his camera lens, looking at his spiky haired friend across the room.
"Ha! So you have thought about it before. I knew it. How can you not notice the riches that guy's got lying around I mean… he's got a new weapon every week, his duds are awesome and-"
"Like I said… an honest living." Hayner crossed his arms after his hands were empty of darts and looked at Pence with a suspicious gaze.
"Where does he even live anyway?" the blonde boy scuffed the floor of their hideout with his sneaker before retrieving the darts and starting all over again. Throwing something always helped him think, it seemed.
"You've really got it in for him haven't you? Maybe it's a trust fund his parents left him, I don't know. You should drop it though. You're Sora's friend, and you shouldn't make accusations without talking to him first," Pence reasoned, snapping a picture of the blue sofa in the alley and sighing as Hayner remained quiet.
"Fine. I'll go talk to him. At least then we'll have some answers." A smile lit up Hayner's face as they ran to the train station. Sora normally stopped by every few days, so they were sure to catch him there soon.
**
"Hey guys, what's up?" the spiky, dark haired boy stepped off the train only to see a huffing Pence and Hayner who had rushed forward to meet him on the platform- Donald and Goofy close behind.
"We were just wondering where you've been!" Pence asked casually, scratching the back of his head and looking lazily at Hayner, whose expression displayed an almost unrestrained curiosity.
"Yeah, where've you been Sora? Off saving the world or something?" the blonde boy joked, jabbing Sora in the ribs. The key blade bearer laughed nervously.
"Uh, something like that. Hey! Anyone up for some sea-salt ice cream? I can never find it anywhere but here-"
"Maybe you're just looking in the wrong places," Hayner interrupted, trying to hurry the conversation towards one of munny.
"Yeah, I mean… if I had munny like you, I could get ice-cream everyday!" Pence added, winking at Hayner who smiled smugly. Sora's eyes darted back and forth.
"I guess you're right," he laughed, making his way off the platform towards the tram commons. "Have either of you seen Olette? We're supposed to go to the beach today." Sora gazed around the platform, his bright blue eyes scanning for any sign of the girl who was friends with all three of them.
"Olette huh?" Hayner raised his eyebrows suggestively at Sora who only blushed.
"What're you talking about? I've got Kairi back home-"
"Home? Where is that exactly…?" Hayner drilled, leaning closer and closer to Sora's face with each penetrating question.
"Heh, uh, I can't really talk right now, see ya later!" In a flash, Sora, followed closely by Donald and Goofy raced out of the station and headed down towards the Usual Spot where they guessed Olette would be waiting.
"Goofy and I are going to get some ice cream," Donald rasped, motioning with a nod of his head towards the tram common where all the street vendors were located.
"Alright. Let's meet back at the train station tomorrow, okay?" Both companions nodded as they turned down the street, leaving Sora to his own devices.
"Hey! I thought you'd be at the train station," Sora remarked as he lifted the curtain to reveal Hayner, Pence and Olette's hideout in the alley.
"Oh, sorry! I was just getting some stuff ready to go," Olette said warmly, picking up her bag with a towel and bathing suit. "Why don't you head up to the station and grab us some tickets?" she offered, knowing that his short attention span would run low while she packed her things.
"Sure thing. See ya there." Sora bumped past Pence and Hayner on the way out, waving as he ran towards Market Street.
"What does that guy have that I don't?" Hayner sighed, noticing the star struck expression on Olette's face as she continued to stare in the direction the key blade bearer left in.
"I don't know. He's cute, charming, funny and so, so naïve." Hayner and Pence made disgusted faces as she listed off Sora's positive attributes one by one. They seemed endless.
"What job could a really nice, gullible, sexy guy like Sora have?" Pence paused before responding to his friend's question. Both he and Olette gave Hayner a funny look.
"That came out wrong. Let me rephrase it; what could a good looking moron like Sora do that earns him that much dough?"
"I don't know, maybe he's just an honest, hard worker-" Olette began.
"Nah, we already threw out that theory," Hayner rolled his eyes as if to say: Jeez Olette, how come you can't keep up?
"Well sorry that I'm not a conspirator in this weird little scheme you've cooked up to get Sora," she huffed, crossing her arms and glaring at Pence who had yet to say anything in her defense. When he remained silent, she shrugged her shoulders and left.
"If you guys are gonna sit around and ruin your summer with this kinda junk, I'll leave you to it," Olette quipped, heading off to the station, bag and munny in hand.
Once gone, Hayner cast a conspiratorial look at Pence.
"Oh no. What're you up to Hayner?" Pence groaned, getting to his feet as he watched his friend spring into action.
"We've gotta follow 'em. That'll give us some insight, I'm sure of it," the blonde decided, scraping a fistful of munny out of his pocket and waving it in Pence's face.
"Let's go!"
**
"Wow, the sun is totally hot today!" Sora observed, wiping a bead of sweat off his brow as he pulled off his shirt. Olette sat down next to him in the sand and smiled.
"Yeah, I'm gonna burn up! Hey, do you wanna put some sunscreen on my back for me?" she asked innocently. Her eyes twinkled in amusement as Sora only nodded.
"Sure. No problem," he answered obediently. His shear willingness made Olette narrow her eyes.
"What could a good looking moron like Sora do that earns him that much dough?" Hayner's words echoed in her head. She looked at Sora who seemed to have no idea of the tantalizing effect he was having on her.
"Just look at 'em. Cozied up on the beach," Hayner muttered from under the beach umbrella, gazing through Pence's camera to get a closer look at the two. He ground his sneakers into the sand as he watched, Pence munching listlessly on a corndog.
"They look like two kids on the beach," Pence noted, gesturing towards Sora and Olette who were laughing as they watched the waves crash against the shore.
"Are we even watching the same scene? Look around you! Those girls over there have been ogling his big blue eyes ever since he sat down!" Hayner grumbled in dismay.
"So he's good with girls! What, you jealous?"
"Jealous!" Hayner shoved Pence threateningly. "I don't even know the meaning of the word."
"Yeah, yeah… Let's just get back to Twilight Town before they do. I'm not so sure Sora would like having us spy on him."
**
"I can't believe it!" Olette arrived back at the Usual Spot to see her friends Hayner and Pence at their normal antics- one throwing darts, and the other cleaning his camera absent-mindedly.
"What is it now?" Hayner whined. "Didn't have enough fun today with your beach buddy?"
"That's not it at all! I just… ugh, I can't believe how he flirted with those other girls!" Olette crossed her arms indignant, and paced.
"I don't think striking up friendly conversation constitutes as flirting-" Pence began.
"Oh no! If you'd have been there, you would have seen him!" Olette fumed.
Hayner and Pence only exchanged clandestine looks while Olette continued to growl about her day.
"I just never thought a nice guy like Sora had it in him!" Hayner paused his dart throwing after Olette spoke.
"I think there's a lot of stuff we never thought Sora had in him," Hayner trailed off, deep in thought.
"Oh boy… here it goes," Pence pinched the bridge of his nose as a small smirk crept onto Hayner's lips.
"Hot bod that has the ladies all over him, skills of a master flirt, mysterious, secret profession, add that to the munny and what do we have?"
"A load of phooey?" Pence offered, hoping to stay these thoughts before they got out of hand.
"Male escort!"
"Male stripper!"
"Male prostitute?"
"Olette, Hayner! I can't believe you guys!" Pence jumped up from his seat on the couch and glared at the two in a frenzy.
"Come on Pence! We know you were thinking it too!" Olette nudged him in the ribs before Hayner turned to her and continued.
"And whose Yen Sid? His pimp?"
"His handler?"
"You guys! This is crazy! I'm going home, and I don't want to hear another thing about this when I get here tomorrow!" Pence stomped past the curtain and into the alley, grumbling about Olette and Hayner's crazy ideas.
But were they really so crazy?
**
"Leaving again so soon Sora?" Hayner interrogated the next morning as Sora made his way to the train station. Once again, he'd only stayed the night, promptly leaving the next morning on another important "mission."
"Oh you know, gotta get back to work," he laughed, hoping that his three friends had dropped yesterday's subject of occupations. Under no circumstances could they know what he did for a living.
"So Sora, how does one get into your line of business? Gotta know someone high up, right?" Hayner raised his eyebrows, awaiting a seemingly incriminating answer.
"Something like that," Sora sighed, looking up into the blue sky. Maybe someone up there had a reason for having him do what he did. But he didn't really care. He would've done it anyway.
"Sora! The train's about to leave," Donald yelled at the spiky haired key blader from the platform, jumping up and down angrily as Yen Sid's train idled in the tracks.
"Well, I'll see ya later!" Sora waved, running towards the platform and out of the crosshairs of Hayner's investigation.
Hayner, Pence and Olette stood on the tracks as Sora waved good bye like he always did. Smiling that goofy smile, making those silly childish faces out the window as the train sped away.
"I guess we'll never know," Olette smiled wistfully, watching the train fly into the sunset.
"Maybe it's better that way," Pence said as he patted Hayner on the shoulder. In that one gesture, it seemed like the whole weekend's ventures were moot. Sora would be there friend next time he arrived back, and it didn't matter what he did. He'd confide in them… eventually.
And until he did…
They left it to their own imaginations.
**
My other conspiracy theory is- how come no one from the other worlds are wondering about how Donald and Goofy (a dog and a duck) can walk, talk, and wear clothing. Someone needs to ask important questions like these. Remember to review!
~Dmar