Lillie's fling
"Duncan is coming back." Julian called to Lillie. "He said to tell you to be ready."
"I will." Lillie answered. "Did he say anything about moving to San Francisco permanently?"
"He did not say. He might get himself a house here, and open a shop. But he would keep moving back to Paris and Toronto. These places are as much home to him as San Francisco would be."
"I see."
"You could try moving with him." Julian tried to make his comment as casual as possible. He did wish that Lillie left San Francisco. It made for a strained relationship between him and Lillie, and while he could not prove anything, he suspected that Caitlin needed protection from Lillie.
"You know that I cannot do that."
"I know. But there are positions among the Kindred that allow you to travel. They would be a promotion up from Primogen."
"Become you agent?"
"Not mine exclusively. And you would not be necessarily an Enforcer. There are other positions better suited to your talents."
"Why don't you resign as Prince of the City and take that position yourself?" Lillie asked, with malice. "You are always complaining about not being able to leave the city, but I do not see you stepping down from your position to do it."
"I have work to do. Things that I want to accomplish, and I need the power of the Prince to do so."
"Well, there are things that I need to do, too. And I need to be the Torreador Primogen to do them."
"I understand. It was just a thought, anyway." It was not true. He desperately wanted Lillie gone from San Francisco, along with the temptation she represented to him. "Maybe this time you will be lucky enough to convince Duncan to stay with you permanently."
"Maybe. Thanks for calling, anyway."
Lillie hung up, with a smile. Julian could be so transparent. He was afraid of her. Afraid of himself, really, that he might want to go back to his old lover, and ruin the relationship he was trying to establish with Caitlin. So he wanted Lillie gone from San Francisco, so that he might not be tempted.
"If I wanted to, you would be back with me." She said to himself. "I know you, Julian Luna, better than you know yourself. And you need me. You need to forget all the lies that Archon filled your head with. You need to get back to what we once were. Those first days where there were only you and me... you used to laugh a lot in those days. We were so happy, for a short time. And then Archon put a gun in your hand, and ordered you, as your sire, to go and kill those he pointed out to you. And you went, and then nothing was ever the same for me or you..."
o
"Do you think that she might do it?" Sonny asked Julian. "Move out of San Francisco, I mean?"
"No. She still wants to stay, and try her luck with me again." Julian sighed. "I wish I could say that it is truly over between us, but it is not. I still want her. And we have gone through so much together, she and I. I know her, and she knows me. And we were so happy together once...but that was a lifetime ago. And I was a very different man then. I was young and innocent. I have not been either for ages."
"She is wrong for you."
"She was right for me, once."
"She is wrong for you now."
"You never really liked her." Julian smiled, remembering the old days. "You were jealous of her, taking me away from you.."
"That was not the only reason. She never liked me, either."
"She was jealous of you, too. She had not embraced anyone yet, so she did not understand the bond we had. She did not understand the bond that Archon and I had. Her own sire had died shortly after embracing her, so she never experienced the full bond.
" "There is more to it. She...she is not like you."
"Well, she is Torreador. You have to make allowances for that. You cannot expect her to be Ventrue."
"No, but she should understand more of what you do, what you try to do."
Julian sighed. "I wish it was so, too. She never really did. That is one of the reasons why we broke up."
o
Duncan grinned widely as he threw his arms around Lillie
"You look gorgeous." he said.
"So do you."
She held him close, noting how his heart beat, pushing the blood through his body. The sense of his blood racing had an intense erotic effect on her, and she wished she could be alone with him, so that she could tear out his clothes and start cutting the skin to see the blood well up.
"I am staying in San Francisco for a month this time. I will have to get back to Paris, afterwards, but not until then. I am all yours."
"Mine and Julian's, of course."
"He is a good friend."
"I know. And you two can have a good time together. Sometimes too good a time."
"You mean like being drunk and disorderly, like last time?"
"You did moon the Mayor, after all."
"It was Connor's idea."
"And Julian was the one driving the car."
"He had to. Both Connor and I were too drunk for it."
"Well, you are not going to do anything of the sort now."
o
Duncan lay back on the bed, luxuriating in the feel of the sheets against his naked body. Lillie had risen, to take care of an emergency with the Torreadors, leaving him alone.
He looked with curiosity at the small bloodstains that showed on the sheets. Lillie must have made over a hundred cuts on his body. Not that they showed on him. He healed quickly, same as she did, leaving no trace of their frenzy of the night before. One could get addicted very quickly to Lillie's form of lovemaking. He understood that for her taking his blood was only the foreplay, and that her pleasure came from her blood pouring into him. He knew why that was. The only form of reproduction that Kindred had was the embrace of humans, and for that to happen, they had to give their blood. The reproductive impulse would not be thwarted, and it forced reluctant Kindred to serve it by denying them their pleasure until it was satisfied.
It was early in the morning, and the bedclothes were warm. He turned around and let sleep come back into his mind. He would see Julian later. Much later. Julian would understand.
o
"Lillie was a lot more agreeable today. She made no objection to my suggestions about the Torreadors." Julian told Sonny.
"She is in a good mood, then."
"Duncan is back, and she is happy."
"You think that she may be falling in love with him?"
"I hope so. It would make things easier for everyone if she did."
"It certainly it would make things easier for you."
"The one thing that I regret is that I may get to see less of Duncan because of it." Julian frowned. "I am kind of jealous that she has him all this time and that I have to wait for him."
"You will get over it. And anyway, this leaves you free with Caitlin."
"That is right." Julian smiled thinking of Caitlin. If only he could find a way to stop her questions before her memory returned and the Masquerade was endangered... One day he would have to make a decision. One day he would have to let her decide whether or not to be embraced. Or he would have to be willing to let her go.
"Of course, you know what I think about it."
"I do. Please do not repeat it to me again. I know that my situation with Caitlin cannot last as it is. I will have to embrace her or let her go. But not yet. Not yet, please, Sonny."
o
Duncan practiced with the sword in front of the mirror. Parry, slash, parry, slash. A quick lunge to the breast to disable. Then the beheading stroke. Those were the basic moves, and then there were the variations...
He would have to get away later. The challenge that had been made could not be ignored. That young fool wanted to collect Duncan MacLeod's head, because he thought it would be an easy head to collect. Or because...because glory hungry new Immortals did such stupid things. He hoped to be able to spare the man. Beat him in a fair fight, and then let him taste the steel at his throat. With luck this would shock him into his senses. And if it did not...if it did not, he would regret it, but he would take the man's head. That was Immortals did with each other, after all.
He wondered, as he always did before a battle, why it must be thus for him and the others. What was the point of these endless battles? Was the Prize truly worth all the killings? How many heads had he himself taken? All taken in fair fight. All with justification. And all dead because of him, all dead so that his own Quickening would become the stronger from all the other Quickenings he had received. And for all the wisdom and knowledge that he had gotten from all those Quickenings he had collected, he had not come any closer to the answer to the question as to why should Immortals battle each other to the death.
He envied Julian then, because Julian understood why he had to do the things he did. Julian took blood because it fed him, and when he fought other Kindred it was for a specific goal or purpose...
Kindred called Immortals Gladiators, and there was quite enough truth to the name. But if he was a Gladiator, who were the spectators at this particular Circus? And what was the Prize that they would bestow on the winner? Being allowed to age and die at last?
He tried to shake off his mood. If only there was a better reason for the fight than this young man's desire for glory. If there was an ethical principle involved, if it was question of stopping a killer who could not be brought to justice in any other way, then he could accept the battle. But to kill for glory?
He would have to get away, not let either Lillie nor Julian know where he was going. He knew how upset Julian became when he had to fight, and Lillie would probably react the same way. For all that they may like each other, even love each other, there was a gulf between Immortals and Kindred, and Kindred ways were not Immortal ways.
o
"Julian, were is Duncan?" Lillie burst into Julian's study.
"Lillie, please, I am busy. Can't it wait?"
"Duncan is missing. I cannot find him."
"He will turn up. You cannot expect him to account for every move he makes."
"Julian!" this was a plea "He is gone off to fight. I know it. He does not want me know about it. He is defending his head right now."
"He is not..." Julian protested. But where was Duncan, he asked himself.
"Is there a way for you to find him?" "He does not tell me where he goes."
"I know that you have a link with him."
"Link?"
"At some point your minds were linked. I know that you he
lped him fight off a Dark Quickening, giving him your blood for it."
"You and him shared each other's blood a few hours back." "But we did not link...it was just sex.. You did link with him, even though you do not use it. Julian, do you want Duncan to die?
" "Duncan can take care of himself. If this challenge was one that he could not handle, he would have told me."
"I do not care how good he is. He may slip. The other one may get lucky. Julian, Duncan may be dead right now, and we do not know it!"
Julian closed his eyes, trying not think about it. He felt for the link that he had created when he had helped Duncan fight off Felicia Martens. "All right, I think that I can find him."
"Take me along." Lillie pleaded. "I want to be with him. I want to know..."
"All right. I'll take the car." "Let's just fly there. It will be faster."
"If Duncan... fails, I want to be able to take... the body back." Julian heard himself say it, and shivered. How could he be so accepting of that?
Lillie sobbed as Julian steered her out. "Do not worry. Duncan will be all right. He knows how to take care of himself."
"It is unfair." Lillie complained. "First you, and then him. You go off to fight these battles, and expect me to wait to see if you come back. Do you think it is fun waiting, now knowing what happened?"
"I know that those years were hard for you, but I had to do it. Archon did not send me off because of any whims. Those were battles that had to be fought."
"As it happened in Manzanita?"
Julian paled as he remembered his shame. "That was the exception. There were very good reasons for most of my battles. Archon loved me. He did not put me in danger willingly."
"Archon cared about his power. He would sacrifice anyone for his goals."
"And so do I. As I would sacrifice myself. Lillie, the life we live, the things that we have to do, they are not right. There must be a better way for us to live."
"And because of that you throw away your chances for happiness? I know, our life is harsh. So why make it harder? Why not seize whatever happiness may be found?"
"I have a duty."
"Duty! What you have is Archon's words, filling your mind. This is not what you really want. This is what Archon taught you to want. I hate him. I know that he is dead, but I hate him. You used to be so full of joy, so full of laughter when I first loved you. And then Archon came to you with words like duty, and sacrifice, and glorious destiny, put a gun in your hand, and then I lost you."
"Archon was my sire, if you recall. You would not have met me if he had not embraced me."
"He had not right to do that to you."
"According to Kindred law, he had. He was my sire. He was my Primogen. And he was the Prince of the City. I owed him obedience on all three counts. And he could have had my head if I disobeyed. According to Kindred law."
"He had no right to do what he did."
"We are Kindred. Right and wrong have a different meaning for us."
Lillie said nothing, just sobbed for a few minutes. Then she spoke again. "You were gone for hours, carrying your gun. And I waited, and waited. And I did not know how much longer I would have to wait. And what it was that I waited for. What it was that I dreaded more. To have someone tell me that you were dead. Or to have you come back, so that you could be gone again the next day, and I would have to wait again."
"I know. It was unfair to ask that of you."
"Archon never liked me. He asked you to give me up, didn't he?"
"He said that you could not handle being what I was."
"What you were! I could handle it. What I could not handle was what he had turned you into. He made you into a killer, a brutal, remorseless killer. And then he was sanctimonious about it."
"Archon did much for our people. He left much undone, because there was only so much that he could do. But he was a great man."
"He might have been a great man, but he was not a good man. I am glad that Cameron got him. He got what he deserved."
"Lillie!" Julian stopped the car and faced her. "Do not talk of Archon that way. Cameron might be justified, by Kindred law, to do what he did. But Archon deserved better than that. For all his errors, for all his faults, he deserved much better than being killed in cold blood by Cameron."
"Julian..." Lillie pleaded, suddenly afraid. Julian looked so hard, so implacable, rising to the defense of his sire.
"Do not do that, ever again." Julian said.
She nodded and looked down. Julian started the car again. They rode in silence.
"Is Duncan still alive?" Lillie asked after a while.
"Yes. And he is nearby." He stopped the car. "He is close."
As he stepped out, he could hear the clash of steel. He paled. Duncan was defending his head. He ran towards the sounds, followed by Lillie. The fighting continued. There was no lightning anywhere. Both combatants still had their heads.
"Duncan..." Lillie whimpered behind him. "Is he...?"
"Still fighting."
"He should be finished by now. This guy is good, too good. He may take Duncan's head."
"Lillie!"
"Duncan is going to die! I know it."
"Lillie." Julian turned around. "LIllie, we should not have come. We can do nothing to help him. By his rules, he has to fight alone. All we can do is watch and wait."
He could see the figures move ahead of him. Duncan advanced, then backed off. Steel clashed against steel. None of the combatants seemed to have the advantage of the othes. Then he saw Duncan stumble and fall to his knees. Quickly, before he could think about it, he pulled Lillie against his chest, and covered her head with his arms.
"Don't look" he said."Please, don't look."
Lillie struggled in his grasp, but would not get free.
Julian looked out. Duncan was back on his feet, and advancing again.
"Duncan..."
"He is still fighting." He did not release Lillie. She should not see Duncan's head struck from his body. He did not wish to see it, either, but could not tear his eyes away.
Then the other man's sword fell off his arm (the hand had been severed at the wrist). The man was down on his knees, and Duncan was pressing his sword against the man's throat, talking to him.
He held his breath.
The man backed up, and was talking softly to Duncan. Duncan lowered his sword and walked away.
It was over. Julian took a deep breath.
The other man raised his sword and ran towards Duncan.
"Duncan, No!" Julian shouted.
Duncan turned and swung his sword. The head fell. Then the body collapsed on the ground.
The Quickening was coming now.
"Duncan.." Lillie sobbed.
"He is all right. He took the other's head."
Blue lighting shot from the decapitated body into Duncan. Sparks formed on his eyelids and lips. Power was drawn into his body. It was strong, so strong and Duncan fell to his knees.
"I told you not to worry. He can take care of himself."
Lillie sobbed again. "I cannot take it. I cannot take this..this waiting, this not knowing."
Julian held her, nodding. "I will tell Duncan." he said.
o
"Why did you follow me?" Duncan challenged Julian.
"Lillie followed you. I tagged along so that she did not interfere."
"Are you blaming her?"
"I am asking you to break up with her. She cannot handle what you are. She cannot handle it better with you than she could with me."
Duncan frowned as Julian quickly explained his love affair with Lillie.
"She waited too many times for me to come back, not knowing if I would be back in one piece or not. She could not live with it. And you brought it back to her. She was hysterical and she... she dragged me along. It made no sense, but I had to take her, if only to reassure her. She saw when you almost lost your head... Duncan, it is too much for her. Let her go. Let her find someone who she knows is not putting his head on the block every day."
Duncan began to protest, but Julian shook his head sadly.
"It is not your fault that you are what you are. It is not her fault that she cannot handle it. Maybe it is my fault for making her go through that. Or Archon's for forcing those choices on me. Or Kindred society for being what it is... I do not know. But for you to continue as her lover will only bring her pain. Break up with her, Duncan. Be gentle, for it is not her fault."
Duncan turned around, growling, but aware that Julian was right.
"Not everyone can handle what you are. It is hard for me to watch you go defend your head, but I respect your nature. You are good with the sword, and up to now you have won your combats. But one day you will run across someone who is better, and I can only pray that you are not in San Francisco when it happens."
Duncan turned and locked eyes with Julian. "You are right. I hate to admit it, but you are."
"So you will break up with her?"
"Yes. Before it gets ugly between us." he sighed. "Tessa was special. She could live with what I was. So few can do it. Ann could not. Lillie cannot. Most women cannot handle what I do, what I have to do. I know that it is not fair for me to ask them to handle it, but still..."
"I know, Duncan. I have the same doubts myself when I approach Caitlin. How can I ask her to be my lover and handle what I am? How can I ask her to risk becoming Kindred, when she does not now what it means?"
"She may not object to that. It is not as if you went around leaving drained bodies behind."
"Feeding is not a problem. But the lawlessness that we endure is. Do you realize how many Kindred I can have beheaded on a whim? All I have to do is to pressure their Primogen into agreeing, and disregard the entreaties of their sires, and their heads are mine. No one can demand an accounting of me for any deaths I cause that way."
"But you do not do it."
"No, but I can do it. It scares me, Duncan, this power of mine. I should not be entrusted with it, because one day... one day I will slip as Archon slipped about Manzanita. But I cannot give it up, for whoever took it from me would do worse and have less scruples... Do you understand the darkness of my world, Duncan? How can I ask Caitlin to share it with me? And yet I cannot break up with her,
either."
"We cannot change what we are, you told me. Only our responses to it."
"Yes. I said that."
"And the proper response now is to break up with Lillie. And let the future take care of itself."
o
Julian watched the plane take off. Soon it would be back in Paris, where Richie waited for Duncan to get back from his bloodsucking friends (He knew that was what Richie called them - and it was not such an unfair name. They did drink blood after all, welling from a warm living body, an unwitting human being who would never recall what had been done to him or her...)
"He won't be back for a while." he said to Lillie.
"I know." She shrugged, pretending indiference.
"Are you all right?"
"Sure, why shouldn't I be? Duncan is not the only fish in the sea, after all."
"I am sorry that you broke up."
"We were wrong for each other. That was all there is."
Julian nodded.
"How about you? Still chasing that reporter?"
"Caitlin and I are... getting closer."
"You will have to tell her the truth one day. And hope that she can handle it."
"Lillie, Caitlin is my problem. Let me handle it."
"Poor Julian, you hoped that Duncan would keep me busy and away from you, didn't you?"
"Lillie..."
"I can read you, Julian. You wanted me away from you, painlessly, and Duncan was perfect for it. But it did not work. I am still unattached. And I still have a chance with you. One day you will see it is me that you want, not Caitlin."
"Maybe." He was not in the mood to argue the same old story. "But that day is not today. Drop it Lillie. It will not change if you argue about it."
"All right. But you will be back with me one day."